Chapter 93
Chapter 93
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 93
Chapter Title: If You Don't Know, Just Ask - 1
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This isn't it.
This isn't what I wanted.
What I hoped for was simply Hyunwoo acting spoiled toward me and showing his greed.
I could accept that with a smile as much as he wanted.
"Ah, no... I, I'm... H-Hyunwoo..."
This wasn't what I wanted.
Thinking that inwardly, Veronica blankly watched the sage.
"Uwaaaang!! I-I'm sorryyy...! S-Sob... Hic... L-Leventia, don't get maaad! Uwaaaang! I di-idn't mean to, hic... I'm sorryyy... Sob... Uwaaaang!! Hwaaaang!! Uwaaaang!! Nooooo!! Scaryyy! Sob... M-Mommy!! Mommyyy!! Uwaaaang!! I wanna go hooome! I wanna go hooome!!"
Leventia's face twisted more with every sob-filled scream from him.
Veronica and Cecil grew pale, shocked by the sage's appearance.
Only then did they realize it.
The sage who was always strong.
The sage who handled any pain with ease.
The one who always looked to the future rather than the past, what true feelings he had been hiding.
"Uwaaaang!! Uwaaaang!!"
His ceaseless cries were a harsh reality revealing the wounds and pain he had endured until now.
"H-Hyun... woo...? Hyun... woo... Hyun... woo..."
Leventia was just as shocked.
No, perhaps more shocked by Hyunwoo's state than anyone else here.
It had to be that way.
He had always been strong.
No matter what happened, he never wavered.
For such a man to have suffered this much?
The one who brushed off any slander, criticism, hardship, or adversity so lightly?
She wanted to deny it.
But the reality before her eyes coldly prevented her from looking away.
"Ah. Aaaah..."
Was it immense stress and self-loathing?
A splitting headache worse than when facing the Demon King began to assail her.
Leventia trembled with unbearable disgust.
What have I...
done?
"H-Hyun... woo..."
"Uwaaaang! Uwaaaang!!"
The moment her unconsciously extended hand touched him, the sage's state changed.
He stopped wailing.
No, it wasn't stopping.
He was stuffing his fist in his mouth, choking back sobs and holding in the tears.
What did that mean?
"Kkuk... Sob... Kkh... Hic... Hic... I-I won't cry... I won't cry, so. So. It's ha-hard, I won't do it... Hic. Hic..."
"......"
"D-Don't say ba-bad things... Eek... Ngh... Hnng... Hic. Kkh... Kkuk."
Bad things?
What do you mean bad things?
But you never cared about that.
You were always fine.
Memories from the journey to slay the Demon King flooded her mind.
Back then.
What had I done?
Why had I hurt him?
And yet, why had he smiled?
"Aaaaaah!!!"
She thought he wasn't hurt.
She thought he didn't suffer.
She thought he was always strong.
But the sage was just like any other person.
Tormented by malice, wounded by slander, crying from criticism.
Just an ordinary person.
He had simply endured it all.
Only then did Leventia face the truth she had been ignoring.
"...Ha."
The words she had said had wounded him this deeply?
"Ha. Haha... Ahaha..."
She couldn't even feel anger at her own stupidity and insensitivity.
To the one she had hurt and tormented so much, what?
You want to be my subordinate?
Become my limb and do anything?
When just looking at her caused him such pain.
When she should stay away forever and never show her face again, she wanted to play the noble knight and approach him?
Did you have that much value to me?
"Hahaha... Ahaha... Hahahaha! Hahahaha!! Stupid... Stupid...!!!"
-Slap!!
She couldn't bear it.
She couldn't endure her own insensitivity.
She couldn't overcome her own shamelessness.
Leventia began slapping her own face repeatedly, and when Cecil grabbed her arm, tears streamed down as she weakly said,
"Please... me..."
Unable to finish her words, Leventia succumbed to the overwhelming stress and fainted.
Veronica wasn't just sitting there dumbfounded either.
"...Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo..."
"Hic. Hic... Hnng... Hnng... Sob... Uhic... Sob..."
"It's okay. It's okay. I'll stay by your side. I'll block everyone who torments you."
Hugging Hyunwoo tightly, she patted his back.
Even in infantile regression, the sage's body retained its toughness.
Restraining his thrashing wasn't easy at all, but she had no choice.
Lest his struggles, overcome by fear, hurt himself.
Veronica hugged him with all her strength, biting her lip hard.
'God... Why... Why do you give this man such pain...'
Ever since becoming close to the sage, she had always prayed for him.
That his goals would be achieved.
That the sage would always be happy.
That he would find even a little more peace.
But why.
Why must this man suffer so much for what sin?
For the first time since becoming a priestess, Veronica harbored resentment toward God.
But she couldn't show it now.
What she needed to do was care for the wounded as a priestess.
"It's okay. Yeah? Stop crying..."
"Hic... Hic... Sob... Hhic... Uwaaaang!! Let gooo!!"
"It's okay... It's okay... No one's tormenting you. So... yeah?"
Hyunwoo had the Wall of the Heart.
A mental illness that blocked not just others' malice but even goodwill.
If he lost control with that and cried out in pain, no one might be able to soothe him.
Even so, Veronica couldn't stop.
It was something she had resolved herself to from the start.
To enter the Wall of the Heart the sage had—that was what she wanted, what she longed for.
So she had to confront it.
Even if facing him was this hard.
"...No."
Now wasn't the time to think that.
Holding the wailing, pleading sage, Veronica closed her eyes.
What mattered now was soothing the wounded soul before her.
My own hardship didn't matter.
That was a priestess's duty.
Veronica steadied her voice.
The hymn she used to sing to lull the children at the orphanage.
The song of the guardian saint that healed suffering children and cared for them.
"Sleep well... Sleep well... Dear baby..."
"Sob... Ngh... Hnng... Sob..."
It was no use.
No matter what she did, no matter how much she soothed.
The fear and pain ingrained in the sage were so great.
There was no way to save him from the nightmare.
Veronica felt deep self-loathing rising.
She was a cardinal in name, and in pure holy power, she could ascend to the Pope's seat without issue.
She had trained long, studied hard, and saved many.
After becoming an inquisitor, she rescued those nearly sacrificed to cults, saved children tormented by war and violence.
Her praises echoed not just in the church but across the continent.
But.
What good was that?
When she couldn't heal the one wounded person before her?
The pain of negation of everything she had done made Veronica tremble.
"Sleep well... Sleep well... Beloved baby..."
Anger at her own inadequacy surged, along with immense helplessness.
She didn't want to do anything.
She was someone who couldn't even do this.
"Like a bee sleeping in flower petals..."
-Crunch.
Swept by endless negative emotions, Veronica bit her lip hard.
The metallic taste of blood pushed back the stress headache and awakened her sinking mind from despair.
She couldn't just sit there stupidly.
Hyunwoo was suffering so much right now?
So. She had to do what she could.
And what she could do now was just one thing.
Soothe the one in her arms with a calming hymn to ease his mental burden and let him sleep comfortably, even a little.
"Sleep peacefully..."
Was it thanks to her efforts?
The sage's sobs quieted a bit in the hymn infused with holy power.
Once it reached a lull, Cecil called Sairon.
"Sairon. You said you had experience? What was it like then? How can we make him even a little more comfortable?"
"Well."
Sairon glanced toward the corner of the room.
The sage, barely asleep but soon awakening, ignored everyone's worries, sobbing as he fled to the room's corner.
Just like with Hasti's High Priestess, who couldn't soothe him despite caring for countless in infantile regression.
He curled up like a frightened child hiding in the corner, lightly asleep.
But that peace wouldn't last long.
He'd wake from nightmares, crying in pain.
Watching pitifully, Sairon sighed.
"...Even Hariti's High Priestess gave up. It felt like even conveyed goodwill was blocked by something."
Wall of the Heart.
Veronica suppressed the rising helplessness by biting her lip again.
She couldn't help her heart wearing away each time she saw the sage whimpering in his sleep.
"Did you know it would turn out like this?"
Cecil asked in a heavy tone, and Sairon nodded.
"Yeah. That's why I and the sage said it—better not to see it."
The sage's infantile regression, revealing his inner self, lasted barely thirty minutes.
But that short time was enough.
Veronica and Cecil looked as haggard as if they'd fought a fierce battle.
And Leventia, just freed from regression, lay unconscious, making the sage's efforts futile.
"Then just leave him like that?"
"What can we do? All we can manage is making sure he drinks water when he wakes to avoid dehydration. At least that's something."
Sairon just ran his hand over his face.
"Just two days to endure."
At least that was fortunate.
If it lasted half a year or more like that?
He might die from the stress of the fear.
"...Amazing. He went to receive Hariti's blessing knowing he'd be like this?"
In a deeply sunken voice, Cecil looked at the sage, and Sairon chuckled.
"Anyway. What matters now is who cares for the sage. And that should be me."
"...You? Why?"
"Look at your faces."
Sairon held up a mirror. Cecil and Veronica's reflections looked ready to collapse, faces deathly pale.
"So wouldn't it be better if I did it?"
"...Still."
"Plus, Hariti's High Priestess said that in that state, most people suffer severe affection deprivation."
"So?"
"They feel extreme fear waking up alone. So even when sleeping, someone has to hold them. And, uh."
"What?"
Blushing briefly, Sairon hesitated then shouted.
"Th-there's that! Why pry?!"
"Anyway... Can't leave him alone, so share a bed?"
"Y-yeah. Kids normally sleep with parents, right? Of course, if embarrassed, no need. Me? I've owed the sage a lot anyway, no lover either, so fine. Ah. No worries sexually. You'll see, but the sage now..."
"...Not even when normal. No need to worry about that."
Veronica snapped curtly, her tone implying she knew the sage better.
"And like I said, I'm fine."
"Then... Cardinal takes him or whatever. I'll wait next room. Call if needed. Ah, and Archduke."
"...Hm?"
"Why not move Leventia out?"
Pointing at the fainted Leventia, Sairon said coldly.
"The hero party is one cause of his fear and pain—can't leave her nearby."
Veronica tilted her head.
'One... cause?'
So there were other reasons for his suffering besides them?
As Veronica looked, Sairon scratched his temple.
"I don't know details. Hariti's High Priestess mentioned during psychotherapy."
Receiving the curious women's gazes, Sairon said seriously.
"But I know he fears more than just the hero party."
Gulp.
To the tense pair, Sairon shared the info.
"What he really wants is to go home. That might erase the fear inside him."
"...Ah."
Right.
Among what the sage wailed, there was a clue to what he wanted.
Home, and to go back.
"The important thing. No one knows where the sage's home is, his hometown, his parents, his sect. Why he knows so much, can use every job's skills."
Pausing, Sairon smiled bitterly.
"We don't even know why he helps people."
The sage appeared in this world one day, so only he knew everything about himself.
Veronica and Cecil realized what that meant.
How futile it was to soothe him when they knew nothing.
After Leventia was carried out by Duchy Knight Order members, Sairon and Cecil soon stood.
"I'll investigate something. Today, Cardinal, the sage is yours."
"I'll be next room. Put the sage in bed."
"...Yeah."
"Call if anything."
Sairon and Cecil left.
Now only the sage and her remained in the room.
Veronica lifted the lightly sleeping, mumbling sage from the small gap by the bed.
Don't wake.
Be comfortable, even a little.
Laying him on the wide bed, Veronica lay slightly beside, wiping his tear-streaked face with a handkerchief, and began the only thing she could do now.
"Sleep well... Sleep well. Dear baby. Sleep well. Sleep well. Dear baby. Like petals sleeping in light. I'll block the scary monster under the bed. Sleep well. Sleep well. Dear baby. Don't cry in the darkness, go to dreamland..."
Veronica gently hugged him. And, softly enough not to wake, she sang the hymn lowly.
Perhaps from today's events, or the scent of Hyunwoo in her arms. Sleep came gradually.
Barely fending off drowsiness while singing, Veronica confirmed his fearful mutterings fading, then closed her eyes.
Author's Note
Hello! It's Malmulmalmul!
Tough Monday passed. They say starting is half the battle, so half the week done ㅎㅎ
Hang in there for the rest!
See you tomorrow! Bye~