Chapter 82
Chapter 82
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 82
Chapter Title: It's Not Easy, I Tell You - 5
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Elves were the most outstanding race on the continent, superior to any other race by far.
Elves were a race blessed from birth.
They lived longer than any other race and were naturally attuned to mana.
Not only that, but their light and agile bodies made them highly efficient in any battle.
Was that all?
Elves were innate archers with eyes that could see farther than any other race, making them overwhelmingly dominant with a bow.
A race inherently superior from birth.
That was the story of elves that Evangeline had heard drilled into her ears since she was born.
In most fields, they didn't even need to try hard to outshine other races.
They could live superior lives without ever struggling like others.
As such, it was natural that the unique elven racial supremacy rubbed off on Evangeline too.
Elves were the most outstanding race, a fact provable by magic and theology alike.
Lizardmen who dug up rivers and streams to catch fish were the trash of races.
Beastkin who reeked of animals were low-class filth not worth dealing with.
Dwarves who burrowed into the earth were a race too shameful to even mention.
But among the races on the continent, the worst were humans.
There were tens of thousands of them, and their racial abilities were middling at best.
Yet they obsessed over beauty, leering at elves with lewd eyes.
Look at them. They wanted elves so badly they even had a profession called elf hunters.
Humans utterly infatuated with elves, selling them into slave markets through human trafficking—they were the cancerous race of the continent, the ones to ignore and never associate with.
Of course, this was the talk of extreme elven supremacists, so it didn't really resonate with Evangeline.
Plus, having grown up close to humans, she thought those teachings weren't unconditionally right.
There were plenty of good humans.
Plenty of fine dwarves too.
Lizardmen, beastkin.
And other minority races.
In the end, wasn't it just individual differences?
That way of thinking might be why she could join a hero party full of humans.
Even as she journeyed with them, she never forgot one thing.
That elves were superior to any other race.
The one who shattered that pride of hers was...
"Ah... Ahh..."
Entering the trial, Evangeline clutched her face.
She didn't want to see it.
She wanted to forget her own pain.
But.
That memory took form right before her eyes.
- Ha. Don't make me laugh. The title of Wise One suits a human like you, not an elf.
The Sage.
The man who approached when she received the mission to defeat the Demon King alongside her human friends honored as elves.
She secretly sneered inside at the approach of the man who called himself the Wise One.
Wise One?
How could a human be wise?
Not even honored with the title of honorary elf like Claire or Leventia?
Her initial feeling toward him was pity.
Humans mostly loved to boast about themselves anyway.
But their true nature always showed quickly.
That was why she planned to bestow the title of honorary elf on him and guide him to become worthy of it.
But he was different.
Unlike any other human she'd met, he truly was the Wise One.
During the journey to defeat the Demon King, he handled every problem with perfect precision.
Even issues that stumped her, an elf, he solved effortlessly without ever bragging.
Whenever she grumbled from the stress of the grueling journey, he smiled like an adult indulging a child.
Toward him.
Evangeline felt jealousy mingled with disgust.
Shouldn't that wisdom belong to elves?
Shouldn't that solemnity belong to elves?
Shouldn't that compassion only be seen in elves?
Shouldn't that perfection.
Belong solely to elves?
Why did he indulge her whims so much?
Why did he take her criticisms so much?
Why go that far?
So Evangeline couldn't hold back in the end.
- Hey! Human! What the hell are you doing?! The arrowheads are ruined! You expect me to use a bow like this?!
- What?! You expect me to eat this?! Rotaine soup should be fresher!
- Hmph! Ahh! Forget it! Just drop it!
- You're so stupid... Why help a dwarf of all things?
- Don't you need to grow up a bit? You always take the easy path.
- Our elven ancestor Erante said you grow through hardship and trials. Even a human like you might grow a little if you followed her teachings. Well, only if the sky split in two.
- Raise your skill by healing others? Ha. You gonna go find injured people every time? Why not just injure yourself and heal that? At least then we won't halt the journey.
She wanted to see it.
How low this human really was.
If he was truly worthy of the name Sage.
So she insulted and criticized him.
Even knowing it would reveal her own depths instead.
"Ah... Uwaa... Ahh... Stop... Stop it..."
It was enjoyable.
Seeing the Sage's expression darken bit by bit.
It was thrilling.
The more he suffered, the more his true bottom showed.
See? Wise One or whatever, you're just as flawed in the end.
Only I can guide someone like you.
Only I can make you a true Sage.
Once your flaws are exposed, I'll fill them with something new.
The more he struggled, the more it proved she was right, filling her with joy.
And in the end.
When he left.
She felt proud.
She thought Hyunwoo would eventually humble himself and come back to her, the one who showed him his path.
"It, it didn't happen! It didn't!! You leaving..."
And when Hyunwoo returned.
He had changed.
"Hic... Hnng... Hic... Hic..."
His changed self angered her.
Why change on your own?
She couldn't bear that the depths she'd exposed weren't to her taste, that he'd filled them however he wanted without her permission.
So.
To empty him again, to see his bottom again, she gave him teachings.
...No.
That wasn't it.
She already knew someone like her couldn't change him.
It was just an excuse to torment him, to dye him in her colors.
To ignore that what she felt wasn't disgust, but the desire to kneel before his superiority.
"Ah... Ahic... Ugh..."
Evangeline hurriedly drew her dagger. As the sharply honed blade touched her ear and excruciating pain welled up, her mind slowly calmed.
"Haa... Uh... Uuh... Haaaa..."
Still not enough, tears streamed down as she gripped an arrowhead tight.
Blood burst from her palm sliced by the sharp point.
But she didn't stop.
If she didn't hurt herself.
She couldn't keep watching this painful scene.
"Haa... Haa..."
Covered in blood, Evangeline collapsed, panting.
Before she knew it, the trial was ending.
It all concluded with her blankly watching the Sage bid a light farewell after slaying the Demon King and departing carefree.
"Ah... Ahh... H-Hyunwoo... Hyunwoo..."
Right now, Hyunwoo's face filled Evangeline's mind.
She had to see him.
She had to approach him.
And. And.
She didn't know how to apologize to him.
What could she do but bow her head like a pathetic dog exposing its ugly underbelly in surrender?
Her steps were heavy, but she couldn't stop.
"Eut... Ugh..."
Evangeline reached into her bosom. In her hand was a worn fur glove.
During the Demon King subjugation journey, the Sage had given her many things, but only this remained.
Clutching it like a lifeline, she staggered forward into the ripple.
Instinctively toward another ripple.
Because there, she would find Hyunwoo's face.
Unable to suppress her longing to have him, to approach him, Evangeline stepped into that ripple.
"Ah... Aaaaaah!!! Aaaaaah!!"
And there she found it.
Hyunwoo leaving after taking her vicious words.
Him walking the cursed wasteland.
- Stab!!
The Sage stabbing himself with a dagger and healing repeatedly.
"S-Stop! Stop! No! I, I!! I didn't want this!!"
- Instead of healing others, injure and heal yourself, you said?
Mockery, condemnation, reproach.
A voice thick with the worst malice rang out.
Evangeline knew better than anyone whose voice it was.
"Ah... Ahh..."
Of course. It was always the Sage's voice she conjured in her delusions.
Not his usual relaxed, gentle smile, but a twisted one filled with scorn and contempt as he hummed a song to the tear-streaked Evangeline.
- You always said it. Elves are great. Elves are amazing. So you wanted to expose my depths.
"N-No. No... Nooo..."
- But what got exposed? Your own depths in the end, right? Elven superiority? Elven nobility? Where do you see that in what you showed?
"No!!"
- Look. Just like you said, what I'm doing.
Beaten by attacks from corrupted, cursed ghosts, the Sage defeats them and mutters something incomprehensible.
His hands trembled. His gaunt face searched for something.
"Booze... Ahh... B-Booze..."
The Sage, who normally only drank for enjoyment—why was he shaking like this, craving alcohol?
Evangeline realized immediately.
He must have caught a mental illness from the ghost's attack just now.
Probably alcoholism.
But there wasn't a drop of alcohol in this land, so he writhed in withdrawal.
Knowing how agonizing withdrawal was for addicts, Evangeline clawed at her face.
- Ta-da!! The hardship and trials you wanted!!
"Ah. Aaaaaah!!"
- Doing exactly as you wanted! Enduring hardship and trials on my own!!
"Aaaaaah!!! Aaaaaah!!! S-Stop!! Stop it!!"
- Ooh~! Superior elf! Great elven race. A human following that great elf's orders~! That's what you wanted to see, right?! Huh?!
"No... No..."
- This is what you made me into, right? The form you desired? So why complain? Why aren't you satisfied? Huh? Huh? Is that elven superiority, elven pride? Huh? Heh. Isn't this the Sage you wanted to create?
She sobbed in denial, but she knew.
She knew Hyunwoo was on this path of suffering because of her.
Because she tormented him to see his depths.
No, to protect her sense of elven superiority.
Overwhelmed by the surging self-harm urge, Evangeline snatched up her dagger.
What noble elf, what superior elf.
I am.
I am.
- Slice!
The wound on one ear deepened. Slowly, not quickly. Very slowly.
She had to cut off this horrific, repulsive ear.
This ear, the sole proof of her pride, the one thing she thought superior—gone.
To show she was the same as him.
- Slice! Slice! Spurt!!
Blood sprayed as the ear severed. Normally, this alone would banish the headache and self-loathing.
"Ugh... Ahh... Hn... Hnngh..."
Not enough.
This wasn't enough.
The same level as him?
No.
I'm not that noble.
She wounded her body, grew accustomed to the pain, used a potion to heal, then wounded again.
- Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch.
She scraped wounds all over her body, repeating it.
But the disgust didn't fade.
This wasn't enough.
I deserve more punishment.
"Ah..."
Before she knew it, Hyunwoo's trial was ending.
Blankly watching the current Sage, who now held composure in any situation, Evangeline squeezed her eyes shut.
A little more.
A little more of Hyunwoo...
But his past slowly faded.
Ending with the form she knew so well, his past vanished.
Yet the illusory Hyunwoo she created didn't disappear before her eyes.
"Aah... N-No... H-Hyunwoo..."
Slowly raising her hand, Evangeline unwittingly gasped.
Before her eyes, it wasn't just Hyunwoo.
Veronica.
The woman who gazed at Hyunwoo steadfastly, cherishing him—unlike her.
A beauty plenty attractive even to an elf like her, clinging to Hyunwoo's arm.
The moment she saw it, Evangeline felt crushing misery alongside her headache easing slightly.
Ahh...
So that's it.
Being the same wasn't enough.
She was a proud, superior elf.
But nothing hurt her more than showing she was ultimately worthless.
The illusion shifted.
Evangeline blankly watched the perfectly matched couple.
"Haa... Haa..."
Her breath came ragged on its own. Her chest tore with pain, but the pleasure of tormenting herself that much dulled her mind.
"Aaah... Uh... Ahh..."
Walking together, Hyunwoo and Veronica's hands brushed. Veronica beamed shyly.
Hyunwoo chuckled and took her hand.
Their eyes met, they grinned playfully, then peck. A light, utterly affectionate kiss.
The kiss deepened, hands wandering to intimate places.
In the end.
In the end.
"Ahh... Ha. Haaah..."
The more she watched the illusion, the more her heart wore away, yet like sweet drugs, she couldn't look away.
Pitiful at being outdone even by an illusion, but satisfied all the same.
Because she wasn't the superior elf she pretended to be.
Just a defeated dog tucking tail.
That was right for her.
And so.
Evangeline just sat there blankly, watching the illusion of Hyunwoo and Veronica's skinship, tears streaming endlessly.
And as the illusion grew more intense, her breaths grew ever more ragged.
Author's Note
Huge thanks to Lyun for the support!!
Hello, it's Malmulmalmul.
Uwaa... Almost a whole week gone already.
It's getting colder, everyone stay warm and don't catch colds!
See you tomorrow! Bye~