Chapter 16. The Whole Nation is Worried About My Chastity
Chapter 16. The Whole Nation is Worried About My Chastity
Chapter 16. The Whole Nation is Worried About My Chastity
[Community - Hunter Academy Gallery]
Title: Summary of the real-time Hunter Association broadcast disaster.jpg
Author: ㅇㅇ(211.234) | Views: 1,502,304 | Recommendations: 45,902
Hunter Association: "We're raiding the villain 'Black Wings' base! Let's implement justice!" (Brought broadcasting stations along, live-streamed in 4K)
They smashed the door and went in.
Result: The villain leader, the Saintess, and the Academy-raiding girl were cornered with one guy on the bed, stripping his clothes off.
The boy (Park Haneul) was crying and screaming, "I don't remember, so please, just let me live."
The broadcasting station realized they were f*cked and forced an emergency shutdown.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: These Hunter Association bastards didn't go to implement justice, they went to film a porn movie ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: ㅋㅋㅋ Did you see Haneul's expression? He really had the eyes of a baby deer about to be eaten. If it were me, I would've already pissed myself.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: ㄴ [Meme: Close-up shot of teary-eyed Park Haneul] Hey, you mean this? It's my wallpaper starting today.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: ㄴ You crazy bitch ㅋㅋㅋ But he really is pretty... I finally realized why monsters kidnap men.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: But is that "I don't remember, it's okay" part for real? Does it mean if he doesn't have memories, they can just do whatever they want? ㄷㄷ
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: ㄴ Your brain is pickled in hentai ㅋㅋㅋ He's screaming for them to spare him, you idiot!
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: As of today, the three national treasures of South Korea are the Pensive Bodhisattva, Seokguram Grotto, and Park Haneul's chastity. We must protect it...
[Meme: 4K capture of Park Haneul with his shirt off and teary eyes]
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Wow, is that face for real? I licked my monitor the moment I saw it.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Honestly, the villain isn't the problem, the Saintess is the scariest one. Look at where her hands are ㄷㄷ.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: ㄴ The Saintess is performing Purification (physical), so don't slander her.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Hey, but isn't that boy the one from the Academy's 1st year? The one they used to call 'Sky Flower'.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Is his chastity still intact? With that lineup, I feel like it would've already been turned to dust.
[Community - US Hunter Branch Information Exchange]
Title: Was our Saintess originally that kind of style?
Author: Faith(112.11)
They said they performed a purification ritual for two in the prayer room, and that she taught him how to relieve his urges at night...
Is this really the noble and pure Seraphina-nim that the US was so proud of?
I just watched the broadcast and tore up my Bible.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Congratulations. You are going through the denial phase of becoming a fan.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Actually, she was a 'Sex-tess' all along ㅋㅋㅋ.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: But the boy really was pretty. The Saintess is human too, so it's understandable she'd lose her mind. The pride of the US crumbled because of one Korean boy.
[Community - Real Men's Gallery (Male-dominated)]
Title: Honestly, doesn't Park Haneul look like a flirt just by his physiognomy?
Author: ConfidentMan(14.32)
No, a man should have some chastity. Does it make sense for him to go all the way to a villain's base and act like that?
You can just tell he's playing the 'I don't remember' concept to keep women on a leash.
Because of guys like Park Haneul, men like us who live diligently are treated like 'easy targets'.
It's a disgrace to men. My male rights are dropping because of him.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Real lol, he probably unbuttoned his shirt on purpose.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Didn't he go around seducing women back at the Academy too? He's a total slut.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Guys like that should just be handed over to the villains. It's a national embarrassment.
[Community - Rose Garden (Female-dominated)]
Title: [Must Read] Starting a petition to protect our Haneul!
Author: HaneulSunflower(221.45)
My blood boiled after seeing the posts from those guys in the male-dominated gallery just now.
Our Haneul is a victim! He was kidnapped by villains and even lost his memories, so is this secondary victimization for real?
His face is the probability and the narrative, so how dare you criticize our Haneul?
From today on, if I see any posts criticizing Haneul, I'm reporting them without exception, and let's flood the Association with faxes requesting his protection!
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Wow, my heart almost exploded looking at the meme. If a guy like that said "I'm scared," I'd be ready to go to prison immediately.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: 2222 Already joined the fan club. Haneul, noona will send you off to marriage! Just come as you are!
ㄴ ㅇㅇ: Was the Saintess a national hero in her past life... I'm so jealous, seriously...
"My life is over... I can't get married like this. No, I can't even get 'married off'(?) either. Sob sob sob..."
I was lying face down on the bed in a strange room surrounded by white wallpaper—no, a 'Special Isolation Room'—soaking my pillow.
The world beyond the tablet PC had already branded me as the 'protagonist of a human-wide love scandal.'
'I don't remember, it's okay' is the #1 trending search term? Why is that being interpreted as 'let's just mix our bodies first'? You lecherous demons!
Is this the level of Hunter education in South Korea?
Don't they need to retake their language classes?
And why are those guys in the male-dominated gallery so desperate to eat me alive! You guys try living with my face for just one day, see if this is 'keeping them on a leash' or 'survival'!
I tore at my hair.
The place I am in right now is the Special Isolation Room located on the top floor of the Hunter Association headquarters.
Outside the door, S-rank Hunters are taking turns standing guard, and every wall is plastered with magic-dampening materials.
In short, it's 'confinement.'
If you ask why I, the victim(?), am being treated like a criminal, I can't help but recall the hellish finale of the previous day.
Back then, when the ceiling collapsed and the broadcasting drones swarmed in...
Belzenia-nuna was as confident as a villain.
She tried to overload her magic, shouting, "I will kill everyone who interferes with me and my Companion!", but her opponents were just too much.
Sia, who was covered in golden lightning from her 2nd Awakening, and Seraphina, who was casting area-of-effect debuffs befitting her title as the 'Saintess' of the US.
Add in the surprise support from Sohee-nuna, who had come to her senses, and the combined attacks of the Hunter Association's elite troops, and even a descendant of a dragon couldn't hold out.
In the end, Belzenia disappeared like smoke, leaving behind the cringeworthy line, "I will come to take you again soon, my Companion!"
'Please don't come back! Just retire there. Our connection ends there!'
Of course, the real crisis came right after Belzenia ran away.
Park Da-hee, the President of the Hunter Association, appeared through the dust clouds.
She approached me, exuding an intellectual aura from behind her sharp glasses, and said.
"Park Haneul-gun, for now, you have to come with us. Because of you, the national prestige is currently... no, the whole world is watching you. For your safety (and the Association's face), you need special protection."
It looks like 'special protection' my ass; they're just trying to pin the mess they caused on me, but what do I do?
While I was agonizing over it, Sia naturally drew her sword, shouting, "Haneul is my fiancé! Why is the Association taking him!", and Seraphina also argued in an arrogant tone, befitting someone from the US Hunter Branch.
"Association President, it is a diplomatic discourtesy for the Korean Association to arbitrarily detain a precious asset of the United States. Haneul-gun must come with me."
No, Saintess-nim.
The whole nation saw you touching my pants buckle on the broadcast earlier, you know?
Do you really think that noble tone of yours will work? You're about to be called in by the US President to write an incident report!
Sure enough, Association President Park Da-hee scoffed.
"Saintess, or should I say, Ms. Seraphina. The broadcast data from just a moment ago is permanently stored on our Association's server. It would be interesting if the video of the Saintess, the pride of the US, trying to pounce on a Korean boy were delivered to the White House. Do you have anything more to say?"
I clearly saw the noble facial muscles of Seraphina twitching.
If I left them like this, they would've torn down the Association building and ripped me apart to share me.
To survive, and to escape this insane Shura field even for a moment, I pulled out the 'amnesiac pretty boy' card again.
I looked at Sia, Seraphina, and Sohee-nuna with eyes like a frightened deer and asked.
"Uh... excuse me, I don't know what the situation is, but... if it's the Hunter Association, you work for the country, right? It's bad to cause trouble for people like that. Noonas, were you perhaps bad people? Like... are you villain friends who bully me?"
At that moment, the expressions of Sia, Seraphina, and Sohee-nuna were dyed with despair, as if the world had ended.
"N-no, Haneul! Why would we be villains! We are your...!"
"Haneul-gun! It's a misunderstanding! I am your soul...!"
"Haneul! I only took photos...!"
Ugh, Sohee-nuna, you're the worst!
"I don't know. I'm scared. I'll just follow the Association President. That person looks rational because she wears glasses, and she doesn't look like she'll eat me."
Yeah, no. The look in the Association President's eyes behind her glasses looks the hungriest of them all. But it's better than you guys for surviving right now.
Like that, leaving behind their wailing, I was proudly(?) taken to the Association for confinement... no, escorted.
And now.
Knock knock.
"Haneul-gun, are you awake?"
The heavy iron door opened, and Association President Park Da-hee walked in.
In her hand was a thick stack of documents, and a fishy smile was playing on her lips, with the corners of her mouth curled up strangely.
"Haneul-gun, thanks to you, the promotional effect for our Korea Hunter Association is at an all-time high. Inquiries about you are pouring in from all over the world. Especially from the US, they're making a huge fuss demanding we hand you over."
She pushed a document in front of me.
"You said you had amnesia, right? Then the current situation must be very complicated. So, I'm going to make a proposal..."
Look at that dark intention hidden behind that benevolent smile.
It smells like a slave contract just by looking at it, doesn't it?
"I'd like you to work as our Association's 'Official Relief Subject.' Simply put, you'll be an Association promotional model and a special management subject. Then, we will definitely defend you from those crazy women. How about it?"
Park Da-hee's eyes flashed sharply behind her glasses.
I thought about the thousands of comments on the tablet PC screaming that they 'want to eat me,' and the women who must be outside the door, calling my name and tearing down the Association lobby.
It's a choice between the wolves or the dark-hearted Association President...
"...You'll just protect me until I regain my memories, right?"
I asked as innocently as possible.
Rather than being snatched away by the wolves—that is, two serial kissers who try to plant a kiss at every opportunity and one pheromone addict—wouldn't it be better to sign a limited-time slave contract where I can fake regaining my memory whenever I want?
"Of course. Oh, and this is the list of your dedicated bodyguards. For your stability, I've put together the people you are most 'familiar' with."
I thought, 'It's not a condition I like, but I have no choice if I want to avoid the immediate crisis,' but the moment I saw the first line of the list the Association President handed me, I almost dropped the tablet on the floor.
[Security Team Leader: Kim Sia (Reflecting)]
[Security Advisor: Seraphina (Diplomatic agreement with the US Branch)]
[Assistant Security: Han Sohee (Exclusive Supporter)]
Association President, you old hag!! You said you'd defend me! You said you'd defend me!! Why are you leaving the fish to the cats!! What kind of protection is this!! It's an express train to hell!!
"E-excuse me, Association President. I think my memory might be coming back all of a sudden..."
At that moment, from beyond the iron door, familiar and bone-chilling voices began to be heard.
"Haneul, I'm here! Now no one can interfere! The Association officially allowed 'close-contact security'!"
"Haneul, it's Sohee-nuna. Your ntr girlfriend."
"Haneul-gun, it's time to start the purification ritual again♡"
"Hiiik~?!"
I, Park Haneul, was about to have the biggest crisis of my life updated in real-time inside the isolation room, now with the label 'legal' attached to it.