Chapter 25. The First Barbecue
Sunday, four in the afternoon. I lit the charcoal on the rooftop. It was the rooftop of Haedam Villa's third floor. Usually, this space held nothing but a couple of laundry drying racks and some potted plants, but today, we had cleared the center to set up a table and six chairs.
The table was a folding one that Dain from Unit 101 had dragged up from her studio. As for the chairs, Seojin had borrowed five wooden ones from her cafe, Seasons, and I had brought up one from my own dining table. Since my kitchen island only had two chairs, I could only spare one.
I ignited the oak charcoal. I didn't use any chemical fire starters. Instead, I crumpled up some newspaper, stuffed it under the coals, lit it with a lighter, and began to fan the flames. Once the charcoal glowed red and a thin layer of white ash settled over it, it would be the perfect time to cook.
I put on my apron—the beige linen one Seojin had given me. The straps in the back... Seojin had tied them for me yesterday, but today I did it myself. Reaching behind my back, I managed to tie them with some effort. The knot was probably crooked, but it didn't matter since I couldn't see it anyway.
I placed the grill grate over the hot coals, letting it heat up before brushing it with oil. Then, I brought out the marinated beef short ribs. Having soaked in the marinade, they had taken on a rich, deep color. I had also selected thick cuts of pork belly. The king prawns had been deveined, their backs sliced open. Finally, I had prepared some chicken breast. "Only season it with salt," Haeun had instructed.
Four-thirty. People began to gather one by one. Dain was the first to arrive, coming up from Unit 101 on the first floor.
"Oppa!" She was carrying a fruit basket beautifully arranged with strawberries, grapes, and cherries. "I bought fruit! It's for dessert!"
"Thanks. Just put it over there." Dain set the basket on the table and looked around the rooftop, her eyes sparkling. "Wow, a real barbecue! And you're wearing an apron, Oppa!"
"Yeah."
"You look cute."
"Yuri said the same thing."
"Well, Yuri is right!"
Dain giggled as she took a seat. She was wearing an oversized yellow sweatshirt today, paired with short shorts and slippers. Her toenails were painted a bright pink.
Seojin and Yuri arrived next. "Siu, I could smell the charcoal all the way down the hallway!" Seojin was carrying a large bowl of Caesar salad, with the dressing she had made at the cafe packed separately.
Yuri came running over. "Mister! Meat!"
"I haven't started grilling yet."
"Hurry up and cook it!"
Chaewon came up next. Since she only had to walk up one flight of stairs from her place on the third floor, she had the shortest trip. She held two paper bags in her hands. "I brought some drinks." She opened the bags to reveal six cans of IPA and a one-liter carton of fruit juice, which was for Yuri. "The IPAs, just as you requested."
"Thank you, Chaewon."
Chaewon looked as neat and tidy as ever, but she was dressed differently today. Instead of her usual blazer, she wore a white shirt and blue jeans, with her hair tied back in a simple ponytail. It was the first time I had seen her dressed so casually. She looked slightly out of her element, yet naturally beautiful.
"I don't think I've ever seen you in jeans before, Chaewon."
"...A suit didn't seem quite right for a barbecue," she replied with a slightly awkward smile. She sat down next to Dain. Dain was the first to strike up a conversation. "Unni, you look so pretty today!"
"...Thank you." Chaewon seemed a bit flustered by Dain's direct compliment, clearly unaccustomed to such straightforward praise.
Four-forty-five. Haeun still hadn't shown up. She had replied with a simple "K" to my text, but was she not coming?
I began placing the meat on the grill, starting with the beef short ribs. They sizzled loudly the moment they touched the grate, releasing a sweet, mouthwatering aroma as the marinade caramelized. "Oh, that smells amazing..." Seojin closed her eyes, inhaling the scent. I added the pork belly next. The thick slabs rendered their fat over the hot coals, sizzling intensely.
"Mister, I want to grill too!" Yuri cried, running toward me.
"No, Yuri, you can't. It's too hot." Seojin caught her. Dain immediately chimed in. "Yuri! Let's draw pictures together!" Yuri eagerly ran over to Dain, who sat her down next to the fruit basket and pulled out some colored pencils.
I flipped the meat. The short ribs were perfectly cooked, their surfaces beautifully caramelized. The charred glaze glistened under the afternoon sun. "Ribs are ready," I announced, transferring them to a platter and placing it on the table alongside the lettuce wraps, garlic, chili peppers, and ssamjang. Seojin picked up a rib and took a bite. "Mmm..." She closed her eyes in pure satisfaction and bliss. "Siu, did you make this marinade yourself?"
"Yes, I let it marinate overnight."
"It's incredibly delicious. You could honestly sell this."
Chaewon also took a piece of rib, wrapping it neatly in a lettuce leaf before eating. "...It's delicious," she offered, keeping her review brief but sincere.
Just then, a voice called out from behind. "Am I late?" I turned around to see Haeun standing by the rooftop door. She was wearing black leggings and a sports bra, with a thin windbreaker thrown over her shoulders, left unzipped. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail, and she was holding two bottles of soju.
"Haeun, you made it?"
"Brought some soju." Haeun set the bottles on the table and took a seat at the very end. Seojin was the first to greet her. "Thank you for coming today, Haeun. And thank you for the soju." Haeun looked at Seojin for a brief second, observing her. Even though they had seen each other around my dining table before, meeting in this outdoor setting seemed to make Haeun recalibrate her sense of distance.
"...Sure, whatever." Her tone was blunt and informal, maintaining a boundary without being outright rude. Haeun never used formal language with anyone. Even when they sat together, she always spoke informally to Seojin. It wasn't out of closeness; it was just Haeun's default setting.
"I heard you're a personal trainer. That's so impressive," Seojin said.
"What is?"
"Well, the only exercise I get is running around while holding Yuri..." Seojin laughed. Haeun let out a soft snort, though it wasn't hostile. "If you want to work out, let me know. I'll teach you."
"Really? Thank you!"
Dain approached Haeun. "Unni, I'm so glad you came!"
"...Yeah." Chaewon and Haeun merely exchanged a silent nod of acknowledgment. Both of them carried a similarly cool demeanor, but their coldness stemmed from different places. Chaewon maintained a polite distance, while Haeun maintained an indifferent one.
I kept grilling. The pork belly turned a beautiful golden brown. I laid the king prawns on the grate, their split backs bubbling with savory juices. Finally, I placed the chicken breast on the grill—Haeun's portion, seasoned only with salt. Haeun looked at the chicken breast on the grate, then glanced up at me. She didn't say a word, but the corner of her mouth twitched upward ever so slightly.
We cracked open the beers—the IPAs Chaewon had brought. Yuri got her fruit juice, and we opened the soju Haeun had brought as well. "Let's make a toast," Seojin said, raising her beer can. "What are we toasting to?" Dain asked. "Siu's deadline, or the first Haedam Villa barbecue?"
"The first barbecue," I said. "To the first barbecue of Haedam Villa."
Cans clinked together. Haeun held a shot glass of soju, while Yuri held her cup of juice. "Cheers!" Yuri shouted. Everyone laughed, even Haeun.
The sun was beginning to set, casting long shadows across the rooftop. A cool breeze swept through—a refreshing late-spring evening wind. Up on the rooftop, it felt a beat cooler than down on the streets. The grilling continued. The pork belly was wrapped in lettuce and eaten in single, hearty bites. The ribs were gnawed straight off the bone. The prawns were peeled and devoured. Haeun polished off the chicken breast all by herself.
Seojin portioned out the salad onto everyone's plates. She couldn't seem to sit still, constantly wiping Yuri's mouth, pouring beer for Dain, and passing wraps to Chaewon. "Seojin, please sit down and eat some food," I said.
"I'm fine. I actually enjoy doing this."
Chaewon ate quietly, but her expression had softened considerably compared to earlier. The corners of her lips were slightly curved. A smile from Chaewon was a rare sight indeed. I handed a piece of pork belly to Haeun. "What's this?"
"Pork belly. Try it with the spicy dipping sauce." It was a gochujang-based spicy sauce I had made yesterday. Haeun dipped the pork belly into the sauce and took a bite. "...It's spicy. But good." That was all she said, but it was more than enough.
The sun dipped below the horizon. The sky shifted from orange to purple, and then from purple to a deep indigo. Darkness settled over the rooftop, leaving the glowing embers of the charcoal as our only source of light. Seojin pulled a drowsy Yuri onto her lap, the little girl leaning heavily against her mother. Dain cracked open her second beer. "Oppa, this is really good. I like the bitterness."
"Don't drink too much."
"I'm fine! I can hold my liquor."
Chaewon was quietly sipping her second beer. Instead of drinking straight from the can, she poured it into a paper cup, maintaining her elegant manners. Haeun had nearly finished a whole bottle of soju by herself. "Hey, pass me a beer." Haeun reached for an IPA.
"I really like this," Seojin murmured. "Like what?" "Just... sitting together and sharing a meal like this." Seojin's voice was soft. Part of it was to avoid waking the sleeping Yuri, but it was also thick with emotion. "When I lived with Yuri's father, we never did anything like this. Forget barbecues, we barely even ate meals together. I was always alone. Just me and Yuri." Seojin gently stroked Yuri's hair. "But since coming here... things have changed." Seojin looked up at me, the warm glow of the embers reflecting in her eyes. "It's all thanks to you, Siu."
"...I didn't really do anything."
"You cooked for us. For Yuri, for me, and for everyone else."
Dain chimed in. "She's right! We only gather like this because you make such amazing food, Oppa."
Chaewon nodded quietly. "...I agree."
Haeun said nothing, merely twirling her shot glass as she stared into the embers. But she didn't deny it, either.
After my breakup with Lee Sua, I had truly believed that living in isolation was for the best. A life where I didn't cook for anyone, didn't share meals with anyone, and simply ate, slept, and woke up entirely alone. That was my reality up until just a month ago. But the people gathered on this rooftop today—while I couldn't quite call them family yet—were the very reason we all sat around the same table.
"Oppa." Dain dragged her chair closer to mine. She was on her third beer now, and her eyes looked slightly unfocused, her cheeks flushed red. Was she a lightweight? "Oppa, I'm a little cold."
"Go downstairs and grab a jacket."
"Too lazy." Dain leaned in close and rested her head on my shoulder. It was a natural, effortless gesture. Her short brown hair, held in place by two hairpins, brushed against my neck. I caught the faint scent of beer mixed with her fruity shampoo.
"You're warm, Oppa," Dain murmured, her voice thick and drowsy with alcohol. I didn't pull away. Since she was leaning on me, shifting my shoulder would probably make her lose her balance. "Dain, did you drink too much?"
"Two cans... or was it three? I don't know."
"Three cans is a lot for you."
"I'm fine..." Dain closed her eyes, resting her weight against me.
Seojin watched us. Though she kept a smile on her face, her eyes narrowed slightly as she observed. Seojin was highly perceptive. Chaewon kept her gaze fixed on the embers as she sipped her beer, deliberately avoiding looking in our direction.
Haeun stood up. "Hey." She walked over and stood right next to Dain. "Get up."
"Huh?" Dain opened her eyes. "Unni?"
"Don't lean on other people when you're drunk. You'll catch a cold." Haeun grabbed Dain's arm and pulled her up. It wasn't a gentle touch; it was firm and decisive.
"Aw, come on, I'm fine..."
"You're not fine. Stand up." Dain stumbled to her feet. Haeun unzipped her windbreaker, slipped it off, and draped it over Dain's shoulders. "Wear this."
"But Unni, you'll be cold in just your sports bra."
"I'm not cold." Haeun stood there in nothing but her sports bra and leggings. Her defined abs and toned arm muscles were fully on display. She claimed she wasn't cold, but she was clearly just acting tough.
I went inside and brought out two blankets, handing one to Dain and the other to Haeun. "Here." I offered the blanket to Haeun.
"I don't need it."
"You're going to freeze."
"I told you, I'm not cold."
Ignoring her protests, I draped the blanket over her shoulders. Haeun looked up at me. For a brief second, her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but she quickly closed them.
"...Hmph."
Haeun sat back down, wrapping the blanket tightly around herself. Dain, now bundled up in both the windbreaker and a blanket, returned to her seat—not the one next to me, but her original spot. Haeun had effectively blocked her from sitting next to me again. Whether it was intentional or not, I couldn't tell. Seojin let out a soft chuckle, the laugh of someone who had witnessed something amusing.
The night deepened. The embers of the charcoal began to fade. The meat was entirely gone, and a neat row of empty beer cans lined the table alongside two empty soju bottles. Yuri was now fast asleep on Seojin's lap. "Siu, I think I should take Yuri downstairs now."
"Sure. Get down safely." Seojin stood up, cradling Yuri in her arms. "I had a wonderful time today," Seojin said, her warm face illuminated by the dying embers. "Let's do this again sometime."
"We will." Seojin carried Yuri down one flight of stairs and slipped into Unit 202.
Chaewon stood up next. "I should head down as well."
"Alright. Thank you for the beer today, Chaewon." Chaewon nodded, then paused. "Siu."
"Yes?"
"...I had a really nice time today." It was the first time Chaewon had ever expressed that she enjoyed herself so openly. She headed down to the third floor, and the sound of Unit 301's door opening and closing echoed up to the roof.
Dain wobbled as she stood up from her chair. "Oppa, I'm going to head down too. Today was so much fun."
"Be careful on the stairs. Don't trip."
"I won't~" Dain giggled, stumbling her way down to Unit 101.
Only Haeun remained. She sat quietly, staring at the dying embers of the charcoal with the blanket still draped over her shoulders. "You should head inside too, Haeun."
"...In a bit." I sat down beside her. We were the only two left on the rooftop. The faint, residual heat of the embers warmed our faces. "Haeun."
"What."
"Was the chicken breast good?"
"It was good." Silence fell between us. A gentle breeze blew past, and the embers finally died out. "Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Today... was nice." Haeun spoke while staring at the dark charcoal, refusing to look at me.
"It was?"
"I'm not saying it twice." Haeun stood up, slipped the blanket off her shoulders, and draped it over the chair. "Go inside."
"Alright." Haeun walked down the stairs and entered Unit 203 without looking back.
I was left alone on the rooftop with the cold charcoal, empty beer cans, empty soju bottles, leftover fruit, and the folding table and six chairs. I looked up at the sky. Being in Seoul, there weren't many stars visible, but a few managed to shine through. Five of us had sat together, eating meat, drinking beer, and laughing. Yuri had run around, Seojin had fussed over everyone, Dain had chattered away, Chaewon had smiled, and Haeun had eaten her chicken breast. Like a family. The word drifted into my mind.
Up until a month ago, I had believed that being alone was the most comfortable way to live. A life where I didn't cook for anyone, eating alone, sleeping alone, and waking up alone. But now, Haeun would show up in the morning carrying ingredients, Seojin would bring Yuri over in the evening, I would occasionally run into Chaewon on the stairs in the dead of night, and Dain would come up with instant ramen late at night. The doorbell rings. I open the door. Someone is standing there. We share a meal. That simple, repeating cycle was changing me.
The very last spark of the charcoal went out, plunging the rooftop into complete darkness. I began to clean up. I washed the grill grate, folded the table, put the chairs back in their places, and gathered the trash. I sorted the beer cans and soju bottles into recycling bags. Once everything was cleared, I walked down a flight of stairs and entered Unit 201. I stepped inside, turned on the lights, and took off my apron—the beige linen one. It had a few grease splatters on it. I'd have to wash it. As I hung the apron over a chair, I wondered if Haeun would show up tomorrow morning. Lately, her "occasional" visits had become so frequent that she barely skipped a day. She would show up holding her canvas bag and say, "Hey, food." That blunt phrase had become entirely familiar to me now. Those once-rare moments had woven themselves into the fabric of my daily life.
This was far from a quiet life. It was noisy, hectic, and complicated. Four women and one child constantly drifted in and out of my kitchen, sat on my sofa, and ate at my table. Yet, strangely enough, I didn't mind the noise at all. I lay down on my bed, the scent of charcoal smoke still lingering in my hair. It had been a good day.