The Yuri Bug's Assault and the Crow's Test

"Hahaha!!!"

A man's rough laughter rang out loud and clear.

Black ponytail. A fox mask hiding her face. Yet even the slight glimpse of her features made it obvious she was a stunning beauty. She wore a short miniskirt hakama with mesh lining the fabric inside and along her thighs, giving off the impression of a shrine maiden who also happened to be a ninja. Despite possessing such an exquisite outfit and figure, however, her voice and body were completely mismatched.

Her hand and foot movements, which should have been graceful and delicate, carried a certain roughness that leaked a subtle masculinity. It felt exactly like "a male voice actor dubbing a female character," and the dissonance was no joke.

"How dare a piece of trash with XY chromosomes set foot in the pure lily garden that doesn't have a single speck of dust on it! If it were Nora-sensei, maybe I'd understand, but a monkey with a squinty-eyed, skirt-chasing face like yours has no right to defile the sanctuary that is the very embodiment of XX chromosomes! The holy ground that arises naturally! Don't you dare sully it with the title of homeroom teacher!!"

Every single line she shouted somehow reeked of sweat. At the same time, she held the talisman in her hand rigidly upright and hurled it with perfect accuracy into the barrier enclosing the arena.

"In the name of the Fire Daoist Immortal, I command you—flames, whirl and explode!"

The talisman she threw while chanting emitted a fiery glow. It looked identical to the ones terrorists used, yet its destructive power was on an entirely different level. By adding a whirlwind to the flames sweeping across the arena, she had amplified the firepower even further.

The blaze engulfed the body faster than any scream of agony could escape.

The arena was protected by a circular dome-shaped barrier that prevented any damage from leaking outside. Thanks to that, the interior had become like a lidded frying pan—flames popping like popcorn, continuous explosions rocking the space in utter chaos. His entire body was swallowed by fire; even his shadow vanished. The sight was utterly miserable.

"Uahahaahaha!!!"

She—or should I say he? The shrine maiden whose gender identity was anyone's guess kept laughing at the roaring flames, openly displaying unstable mental symptoms that swung between joy and sorrow.

"Aaaah, poor Elena de Belamour! I was going to personally spare you if only your hymen remained intact, but not only did you already defile your pure stamen with that filthy aphid, you even dared—dared, dared, dared!—to fawn over a man right in front of me!! Aah, no, no. That cannot happen. That must not happen. Advertising it as a yuri series, only for a male protagonist to suddenly appear the moment the first season ends and the second begins! It's the absolute worst—demoting a yuri title and drifting straight into harem!!"

What the hell was she even saying? It was impossible to understand at first listen. The way she spread both arms wide and shouted at the sky made her look like a fanatic, yet the owner of that body was supposedly the most devout believer of all, which only intensified the dissonance.

"Now, let's disinfect those filthy thighs with fire and start over! A couple of the heroines I prepared might disappear, but there are still countless pairings left to continue! So, who's the top and who's the bottom? I'll put our Hazuki forward as the bottom! Wahahaha!!"

For a while she danced like a monkey around the burning flames, laughing as if enjoying a festival. It was a truly shameful display for someone with the body of a beauty.

"Hahaha! Hah! Ha, haa… hah…."

She finally stopped laughing, as if regaining her senses, and stared blankly at the flame-filled arena. The fox mask made her expression hard to read, but the corners of her mouth were clearly curled upward even as doubt crept in.

"…Is it really over? I went all out after hearing the rumor that he defeated that Elena, but to think it ended in a single exchange? It's his own fault for offering his body to a man, yet now only the deflowered Elena and Selena seem pitiful."

She sounded mocking, yet she was seriously questioning whether Ludo was truly dead. When the flames showed no sign of dying down and no counterattack came, the figure spat out curses several times—"So this is the fate of the one who dared pluck two precious lilies with those filthy hands"—before finally turning to leave as if nothing had happened.

In other words, Miyazaki Hazuki's objective from the very beginning had been to kill "Ludo von Eisenwald." With no other purpose apparent, she left without even confirming Elena's corpse, muttering under her breath.

"Hmph. Whatever. That Sekhmet bitch really thought she could keep someone on a leash with just that? What a waste of time for a lioness."

The meaning behind those final words was ominous. A leash? Who exactly was she claiming held it?

Regardless, there was no way he was dead.

—Because the one reciting this entire monologue is none other than me.

"Who the hell are you?"

"What!"

Bursting through the flames, my nose and Hazuki's mask touched for the briefest instant. In that moment of proximity—almost like a kiss on the nose—our perceived time seemed to flow in slow motion.

"This bastard—how did he get through those flames!?"

The man self-proclaiming to be Miyazaki Hazuki stared at me.

I glared at her alongside the rapier that had just spouted something stupid.

In other words, while we stared at each other, we both felt an intense sense of wrongness. It went beyond a woman simply using a man's voice. From her behavior and speech, this was clearly not Miyazaki Hazuki herself.

I had never met her, but the attendance records described her as gentle-natured—something Nora-sensei had publicly declared—and even Elena, who knew her slightly, had agreed. Therefore, the conclusion was that she was being controlled by something. Given the flow of events, the highest probability was that it was the so-called god who had possessed her body.

"Fountain show?"

"What, you wanna see your girlfriend get soaked?"

"You bastard, I have no desire to watch such filthy wet shows!"

"Then don't watch, you fucking idiot."

Whether this was truly Hazuki or someone else entirely, I reached for her neck with my palm to subdue her. The sudden ambush left the opponent unable to react in time. She twisted her head desperately to avoid my hand, only to take a solid palm strike and go flying.

"Kak!"

Whether because Hazuki's body was naturally sturdy or because whatever possessed her had blocked the attack with some kind of power, she remained conscious despite the solid impact. I had planned to knock her out with a blow to the chin if she dodged.

"I even pretended to burn to death to subdue her in one go, yet after layering move upon move I still failed."

"My thoughts exactly."

The tongue-clicking went both ways.

"You filthy XY-chromosome bastard! Not content with trampling the sanctuary beneath your dirty feet, you dare defile Hazuki's jade-like body with those filthy hands! You shall receive divine punishment!!!"

The bizarre shrine maiden speaking in a male voice didn't even bother correcting her posture after being struck. Still flying low from the jaw blow, she maintained a constant distance from the ground as if carrying a superconductor on her back. In that state, she reached into her bosom and pulled out a fresh talisman.

"Something's definitely wrong. They said she was cursed and abandoned by her family—maybe this is what they meant?"

Just as Elena described, it was a grotesque counterattack that looked like she was manipulating not her own body but a puppet—someone else's flesh. In an instant, a magical explosion erupted at my feet as well, allowing me to catch up to her low-flying form in the blink of an eye.

The three talismans emitted pale lights representing earth, water, and wind. I had to extend my blade faster than the spells could activate.

"Too slow! I don't know how you dodged it before, but this time I'll send you straight to the afterlife!!"

She hurled the talismans in three directions faster than I could tear them. When I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠regained my senses, Hazuki's body and I were back inside the arena, and she intended to sweep the entire barrier with a wide-range attack just like before.

"Two afterimages."

Thankfully, having synchronized with Elena earlier proved useful. At my command, two afterimages borrowing Elena's power sprang forth without hesitation. They drew rapiers identical to mine and thrust them toward the talismans.

"What!?"

Immediately afterward, the three Ludos—including myself—swung their rapiers. The talismans were torn apart effortlessly, the matter resolved cleanly without any need for further description.

"She threw them wide so that even if one was torn, the other two could still activate. Clever idea, but it doesn't work on me and Elena."

Elena said one unnecessary line, but she wasn't exactly wrong. I gently stroked the hilt with my thumb, silently praising her swift response.

Leaving the delighted rapier behind, I approached the collapsed Hazuki on the floor. Whether it was really her or not, since she possessed a female body, my ability should still work.

"You monstrous bastard! Just where did that Sekhmet woman ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠find someone like you!?"

"Who knows. I was planning to visit her tomorrow anyway. Perfect timing. While we're at it, let's ask a few questions. Hey, what the hell are you, latching onto a student in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my class? How did you know I was here, and why did you attack? If you're picking a fight, there must be a reason, right?"

"I have no obligation to answer you!"

"Oh, is that so?"

Then I had nothing more to say. I immediately reached for her neck and activated my blessing.

"Guh!?"

As usual, light poured forth and Hazuki's body began to shrink. Naturally, the entity resisted. The fox mask it wore in particular shook violently.

"N-no! I refuse! I will not hand Hazuki over to a man! Ooh, oooooh, stop it! I cannot allow the likes of you to touch our precious shrine maiden—"

Eventually the fox mask fell to the floor, and Hazuki's body separated into particles of light before beginning to reconstruct itself as a weapon. The weapon that appeared in an instant was unfamiliar even to me, its blessing's owner.

"No, it's an iron fan."

Literally an iron fan. Upon closer inspection, blades were attached to the edges, keeping it just barely within the realm of weapons. My blessing was supposed to create swords, yet ever since arriving at the academy it kept producing things like short spears and items that only barely qualified as blades.

'Now that I think about it, in the country I originally lived in, spears and chido were also classified as swords…'

Perhaps my blessing had a wider range than I'd realized. I carefully gripped the iron fan. Fortunately, the Hazuki used as material seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep.

"No. That rampage earlier was because of this."

Yes—the fox mask Hazuki had been wearing. The slippery bastard had escaped right before the weaponization in case it got caught in my blessing. It was even trembling faintly, as if consciousness remained.

"Y-you… take… your… hands… off… aaaaah… aaaaaaaaa———"

"It's a cursed item, huh."

Perhaps because it had left Hazuki's body, or because it had exhausted its power, the mask that had been furiously cursing soon crumbled away and vanished. Yet it didn't feel like things were truly over. If anything, I had a strong premonition that this was only the beginning.

"Who knows. How are we supposed to understand the thoughts of a madman? More importantly, let's go meet the person who can explain this ridiculous situation."

"Yeah. There's been a gaze watching us from the start."

Just in case, I drew the rapier and scanned the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠surroundings. Then a single crow that had been observing us flew down gracefully and landed at my feet. Its movements clearly showed intelligence, so I remained on guard—until the bird spoke.