First Attendance and the Self-Proclaimed Rival Teacher's Declaration of War
When I stepped into the Spinsters Class classroom, I could tell at a glance that the headcount had dropped compared to yesterday. Even the students who were there wore listless expressions.
"Time to take attendance~!"
I raised my voice to cut through the dreary atmosphere and started calling names.
"Attendance number one. Elena de Belamour."
"I'm here~!"
"Attendance number two. Selena de Belamour."
"Present."
"Attendance number three. Wilhelmina von Stahlrose."
"Mm. Present."
"Attendance number four. Silvi Ravenhurst."
"Here."
The princesses from the three kingdoms had shown up. Even with the class's purpose now public and the situation awkward, they had come without skipping. That much was fine, but the real problem came next.
"Attendance number five, Miyazaki Hazuki." — Absent.
"Attendance number six, Miyazaki Reika." — Absent.
"Attendance number seven, Aisha Nasriya." — Absent.
"Attendance number eight, Baek Biseol." — Absent.
"Attendance number nine, Ma Hwiryung." — Absent.
…One absence after another. Thankfully, the next call finally got a response.
"Attendance number ten, Nia Lumiante, attendance number eleven, Kiara Lumiante."
"Yes, Teacher! Present!"
Someone raised their hand. I looked up quickly and saw a lady dressed far too maturely for a student. She had been in the classroom yesterday and watched the duel. Still, she looked less like a student and more like someone you should call "madam."
"Uh, which one is attending?"
"Oh, it's Nia for now~☆"
She flashed a cutesy peace sign that didn't match her age at all. Her outfit was the same story.
— Dark skin, black hair, golden eyes just like the Belamour sisters. A dark elf.
— A body even more voluptuous than Elena's, the very image of a "mother."
— Grinning like a mischievous girl, yet clearly around Sekhmet's age, or at least reeking of a married woman.
— And this auntie elf was wearing a cropped uniform that showed off leopard-print underwear, dressed like a full-blown gal.
'Dangerous. Is this elf lady only targeting men with very specific fetishes?'
Even if the marriage rush was urgent, her outfit was pushing it.
"Ludo, please check the attendance book."
"Huh?"
"Quickly."
At Nora-sensei's nudge to my side, I hurriedly scanned the book. Yesterday I'd only skimmed the important parts, but now it was obvious why she was acting this way.
"Nia… a typical new-generation elf who admires human society… left Lumiante Forest dreaming of studying at the academy… but her mother opposed it and took her body?"
………
………
What the hell is this? I looked up again.
"Ah, that's right! The body I'm wearing right now belongs to my mama, Kiara Lumiante~☆"
The older dark elf made another peace sign with both hands and smiled cutely. Then she poked her own ripe body with her fingers and deliberately showed off the leopard-print underwear. Pink leopard print, for the record.
"Y-you, so right now you're wearing your own mother's body and doing that!?"
"Correct~☆"
It was horrifying. I'd already suspected it after seeing Elena, but there really wasn't a single normal person in this class. Seeing my stunned face, Nia (Kiara) burst out laughing.
"But it's cute and sexy, right~? Of course, the old fogies back home don't understand at all! So I fought with Mama like crazy, ran away to the academy, and ended up locked up here!"
"The reason you were locked up… was because they thought marriage would settle you down?"
"Wow! How did you know? Do you have a mind-reading blessing or something!?"
Because it happens all the time. Elders often delude themselves into thinking a wild or vulgar person will become decent after marriage. The world isn't that simple. If anything, it just increases the chance they'll drag their family down with them.
"If her mother opposed the academy and locked her up here, even forcing her own body into marriage, what exactly is going on?"
"Oh that? We actually compromised. Mama and I fought so much!"
Whoosh whoosh! Nia punched the air like she was reenacting the fight.
"They allowed the academy study abroad, but in exchange I have to find a husband from among the elves or Lumiante Forest people during my time here and get married. If I find someone who looks good as a husband candidate, they'll return the body then. But absolutely no humans, they said."
So the mother had offered her own body to protect her daughter's chastity. But the title attached to that body was the real issue.
"According to the attendance book… the mother who followed you, Lady Kiara, is listed as the former queen of Lumiante Forest…?"
"Yep. That's right. My mama is the former queen. She's actually the same generation as Sekhmet~!"
I was losing my mind. Not only had the daughter stolen the body of a queen who had ruled the elves for a thousand years, she was using it like this. Utterly disrespectful…
"Mama didn't attend today. Mm, she probably won't be able to from now on either."
"Why?"
I'd assumed a helicopter mom like that would be in the classroom, but apparently not. Besides, she had been here yesterday.
"I changed all of Mama's clothes to my taste. She's too embarrassed to leave the mansion even one step~"
In other words, the former queen who once ruled Lumiante Forest couldn't go outside unless she wore her daughter's clothes. A woman over a thousand years old… and Sekhmet's peer, no less.
"How could you do something so cruel to your own mother… Hngh…!"
Nora-sensei's face flushed red, as if she were imagining herself in that outfit. It wasn't just my imagination—she looked like she was tearing up from sheer empathy.
…Do they know each other?
"It looks super cute to me, and even elves my age like it. But why doesn't anyone understand this sense of beauty~!"
"As a man, I can admit it's cute, but I think your parents' generation would have a hard time accepting it."
"Tch~! But thanks for saying it's cute! Thank you!"
She blew me a kiss~☆ and acted coy.
Please don't do that with the body of a queen who's in the textbooks…
Her body was already ripe enough to stir up bad thoughts. It felt like a married woman bravely doing sexy cosplay to arouse her husband. The sense of immorality was so strong that even though I'd taken care of my urges yesterday, my mind was filling with indecent ideas again.
"Kuh! It feels like Ludo has been stolen by a thieving cat!"
"It definitely isn't just your imagination."
Ignoring the nonsense from beside me, I continued the roll call.
"Attendance number twelve, Tom." — Absent.
"Attendance number thirteen, Brunhilde Lingard." — Absent.
"Attendance number fourteen, Lilith." — Absent.
"Attendance number fifteen, Isadora Ravenhurst." — Absent.
"Attendance number sixteen, Hathor." — Absent.
All absent. Even the Saintess didn't show up… She seemed nice, but did something happen?
Besides, number fifteen is Silvi's sister.
The younger sister attended, but the older one didn't. What was the reason?
"Princess Silvi. Could you explain why your sister Princess Isadora didn't come?"
"Calling me so familiarly just because you're the teacher. My sister's a hikikomori. She's a child of the night to begin with, so she even puts up blackout curtains in the morning. Do you really think she'd come out just because you ask?"
That bad, huh. I'd better go find her myself when I have time.
"Numbers seventeen and eighteen are… huh?"
— Prospective students.
Looking at the attendance book again, there were still students who hadn't been assigned to the class. That meant only the five people here had attended today?
Nora-sensei and I had worried this would happen, and now it was reality.
"See? I knew it. Spinsters Class? What a joke."
Princess Silvi stood up, her twin-tails swinging.
"Where are you going?"
"Can't you tell? You can't seriously expect to hold class with just five people. More importantly, what kind of class are you even planning to run? I only came because Father is scary, so don't expect anything more from me."
"Princess Silvi. The teacher hasn't told you to stand yet."
"Shut up, brood-sow princess. Just because you fell for him at first sight like some cheap woman, you're taking the teacher's side? You look like you have nothing better to do, so you want us to waste time here too?"
The one who responded wasn't the angry Elena, but the Iron Princess, Wilhelmina.
"Silvi. Sit down."
"Ha, even you?"
"Teacher Ludo hasn't even explained what he's going to do yet."
"But we came here enduring everyone's mockery, and the others didn't even bother showing up! I should at least be allowed to complain, right!?"
"I understand how you feel. But this isn't Teacher Ludo's fault. It's something that will be resolved step by step from now on."
Princess Silvi looked back and forth between me and Wilhelmina. The two of them bickered like close friends, but then Nora-sensei stepped in for me.
"Today we're gathered to discuss the orientation, so it's fine even if it's just us. As you all know, the other classes have already decided how to run their orientations and have sent out invitations to the upperclassmen. If we don't hurry, we'll be late too, so let's all share our opinions together."
…Huh?
"Isn't the orientation held as a school-wide event?"
"It used to be, but the academy is simply too large. Everyone has different backgrounds and titles. When the academy tried to handle it unilaterally, the atmosphere often became a mess."
Ah, I see. If they forced high-ranking nobles into a class full of viscounts like me and made them act like upperclassmen, it would be a disaster. Just imagining it was awful.
"So now it's become the custom for the new students themselves to welcome the upperclassmen."
That made sense. It probably wouldn't be the usual university-style orientation everyone knew, but more like a tea party.
"So we can just invite people we like?"
"Yes. Before that, we have to rent and decorate a building for the orientation and send out invitations, so there's a lot to do, but this is also for Princess Silvi and everyone else."
"What do you mean?"
"You know that today Principal Sekhmet spread a lot of information about our class and the marriage arrangements under the pretext of whipping you all into shape, right? That's why students started gathering. The rumors are spreading in a rather vulgar way. Perhaps the rumors could become more impure than necessary, so why don't we invite people who will listen and hold an event to clear up the rumors together~"
As expected of Nora-sensei. With her experience, she was skilled at guiding students. I thought even I would be hooked by that, but surprisingly, Silvi mulled over the words before snorting dismissively.
"Ha, that's funny. The one who called us spinsters and spread the marriage rumors in the first place was the principal. And now you want us to invite guests one by one to explain ourselves? Who do you think you're fooling?"
"That's not what Nora-sensei meant. She meant that while clearing up the rumors, we could also—"
"Shut up! I have no intention of taking orders from some rookie teacher. Attendance is over, right? I'm leaving now."
"Hey!"
Silvi turned her back. Just as I was considering grabbing that girl whose thighs were huge but whose brain was tiny, a voice rang out.
"Hmm. It seems there's some trouble here! My rival, Sir Ludo von Eisenwald!"
「「「「!!!」」」」
A greasy male voice I didn't recognize but could clearly identify slammed into our ears. When I turned my gaze forward, the first thing I saw was a Kaiser mustache that never stopped twitching.
"Walter?"
"Indeed. Walter von Bernhardt, who was thoroughly humiliated by you earlier! I'm glad you haven't forgotten my name~"
No, this bastard. Why did he come here? I thought I'd crushed his spirit completely??
"Teacher Walter. We're in the middle of class right now."
"Ah, Head of Department Nora. My apologies earlier. I'm not here to interrupt your class. I see you were discussing the orientation, and that's exactly why I've come~"
While continuing to twitch his mustache, Walter handed over several invitation cards. They were unnecessarily flashy, which only made them look cheap.
"What is this?"
"These are invitation cards to the orientation for my class, the Walter Class~"
For a moment, silence fell. No one understood what this guy was saying.
"I heard that this Spinsters Class has gathered only the most outstanding young ladies. Coincidentally, there are many students in my class who wish to meet such noble individuals, so I thought I would extend an invitation to all of you~!"
Was this bastard crazy?
"Walter. Do you have any sense or not? If a student from our class becomes a guest at your invitation, what happens to the students who have to host guests without receiving invitations? You can't possibly not know that."
"Hahat! With only five students in attendance, what are you even saying~? It looks like this class won't be able to hold an orientation at all, so I'm suggesting it would be better to come as guests instead. Besides, considering the status of the distinguished guests here, isn't it more appropriate for them to be invited rather than to host?"
"Even knowing full well that if those few students all go as guests and our class's orientation falls through, my position will be obvious, you're still doing this?"
"That's none of my concern. I'm simply delivering the invitations after receiving the students' opinions. Whether they accept is up to the students, isn't it~?"
This bastard. I was seeing him in a new light. I'd thought he'd shrink away after getting cursed out and planned to ignore him, but I never expected him to come openly pick a fight.
"Our husband looks especially handsome when he's angry~♪"
"Sister. This doesn't seem like the time for that. The teachers might end up fighting."
No, that wouldn't happen. Elena's praise helped cool my head. Getting worked up over someone like this wasn't like me.
"I also plan to send invitation cards to the students who didn't attend today. I wonder what will happen? The sight of students laughing and chatting while being treated as guests at another class's project instead of their own! Kuhuhu… If that happens, the homeroom teacher's reputation will be in tatters~?"
"You… are you still aiming for the homeroom position?"
"Well. Regardless, it's only natural for an incompetent teacher who can't manage his students to step down, isn't it?"
So he wanted me to leave the Spinsters Class because of this incident. I'd heard he was ambitious, but seeing it this openly was almost funny.
"You actually used your head for once?"
"Of course, since I, Walter, am an intellectual man! Unlike some country bumpkin thug!"
Twitch twitch. His mustache kept dancing as if he thought he'd won, which pissed me off. But my head stayed cool. Thanks to Elena again.
"Fine. Do whatever you want."
"Sir Ludo, you could inform your guardian about this or take some measures of your own, couldn't you~?"
"Don't say something stupid. The principal will obviously allow it because she finds it amusing. It's not something I can stop."
"Hmm~"
He already knew that. That's why he came to openly provoke me, right?
"But remember this one thing clearly. Every single student in our class is abnormal. If you invite the wrong people, your orientation might get turned upside down. I won't take responsibility then, so prepare yourself."
"Are you cursing me because you can already see the outcome? Well, I'll accept it as advice from my rival~"
No, it was the truth. If we left them alone, they might self-destruct on their own. Thinking that suddenly made Walter seem pitiful…
"Well then, I'll take my leave immediately! The invitations and all, I'm quite a busy man! Please do your best alone in an empty classroom~!"
Wahaha! The guy left, laughing heartily without even knowing his own situation. The way he came in, said his piece, and left in an instant even made Silvi, who had been about to leave, stop in her tracks with a dumbfounded expression.
"What the hell is that guy. Who else are you fighting with?"
"No idea. We had a verbal fight in the staff room this morning, so maybe he held a grudge from then."
"Why did you fight?"
"That guy was aiming for the homeroom position of this class. But it got taken by a country noble like me, so he's bitter."
"How do you manage to fight with a princess on the first day and a fellow teacher on the second? Do you have some ability to attract weirdos?"
"Who knows. Saying that is like spitting in your own face, isn't it?"
"…Kuh!"
When I sneered, she immediately came down from the podium and grabbed the invitation Walter had left behind with all her strength. I was worried she might vent her frustration by ditching our orientation and going as a guest to Walter's instead, but…
"To think that cowardly bastard almost became our class's homeroom teacher. It pisses me off."
She tore the invitation to pieces right then and there.
"…Unexpected."
"I don't particularly like you as a teacher either, but you proved yourself by fighting and beating that idiot Elena one-on-one. Besides, you don't cower in front of me, and you don't see me as a tool for your success."
If I got kicked out, Walter might become the homeroom teacher of the Spinsters Class. Just seeing him for that brief moment had been unpleasant enough, and now even the homeroom position?
"More than anything, I don't like that mustache. What kind of mindset does he have to walk around with something like that?"
She threw the torn invitation on the floor, saying she absolutely didn't want to see that every day.