Never Drink It Through Your Nose
Still, that doesn't mean you should drink it through your nose.
Plop.
The sound of a single water droplet striking stone echoed in the dark. Given the circumstances, one might have assumed it was a drop of cold sweat, but the air was chilly and dry. That certainly wasn't it.
Complete, pitch-black darkness. Silence lingered for a while against the backdrop of the occasional howling gust, until Gawol finally broke it.
"Under normal circumstances, a torch wouldn't have gone out from something like that."
He was right.
A torch was, by design, oiled cloth bound around wood and set ablaze. For it to extinguish just from being dropped... Normally, the impact might stifle the flame for a second before it flared back to life. The trouble was that the ground here was drenched muck, burying the head completely.
"Whew..."
I blinked into the dark, turning toward Gawol's face.
"Look... sorry. But I told you before. Sudden loud noises make me jump."
Sensitive ears, you see.
"Haaah..."
Shaking his head, Gawol slowly walked toward me.
Wait, what? Why is he coming this way?
"H-hold on! I admit I messed up, but let's use our words here! Talk it out!"
It wouldn't really hurt if he hit me, but a person has feelings! Don't they?
Gawol answered, his tone laced with bafflement.
"What? Talk what out, all of a sudden?"
"......You're not gonna hit me?"
"Why on earth would I...? Besides, you can see in the dark anyway, can't you, Siun-ssi?"
Well, true enough.
The moon was smothered by clouds, but the canopy wasn't terribly thick, so everything looked plenty bright to my eyes.
Still, instead of the knifehand chop to the crown of my head I was bracing for, Gawol simply stepped closer, staring intently right where my eyes were.
He shouldn't be able to see a thing. How does he know where to walk?
"I mean, yeah, you know I can, but... can you see too?"
"Mm... no. I can't see anything else, but your eyes are plainly visible."
"My eyes...?"
"Really?"
"Yes. Like a wild beast's—white and pale blue."
"Didn't know that."
If what he said was true, my eyes glowed like a predator's in the night. Not that I ever had reason to gaze into a mirror in the dark.
As if in answer, Gawol held out a hand.
"For now, take my hand."
"Huh? ......Do we really have to?"
Holding another guy's hand felt wrong, no matter how you sliced it. In an atmosphere like this, it triggered a visceral aversion.
"Either that, or you can carry both me and that little cart over there while sprinting back. Just because I can see your eyes doesn't mean I can keep up with you."
"Ah, so you didn't mean 'only your eyes' metaphorically...?"
"Yes. Quite literally, it looks as though a pair of glowing eyes is floating through the air."
"Aha..."
It had been so long since I experienced normal human vision that I had lost all sense of it.
Times like this made me wish internal energy could do cool tricks like Sensory Amplification! It really was a shame. How was it that my qi could balloon my physical strength and durability, yet do absolutely nothing else?
Wait, maybe someone out there had invented a technique for it? If you concentrated qi into specific sensory organs...
Clap!
"Gah—"
The sharp clap dragged my mind back to the surface.
"Snap out of it. Now, will you take my hand, or carry me and that cart back to the wagon?"
Man...
Both options were total landmines.
As far as I knew, bros didn't go around holding hands on casual strolls.
"Ummm..."
"Choose quickly. In this darkness, I can't even read my pocket watch, so I have no idea what time it is."
"Alright, fine! I get it."
Yeah, let's do that.
My decision was made.
"I'll—"
Rattle-clatter—
The wooden wheels rumbled over the soft, rotting carpet of fallen leaves. Just a few weeks ago, this path would have been blanketed in snow; tonight, it was cloaked in unbroken gloom.
Gawol voiced his discontent from behind.
"Was this... truly the best you could do?"
"What else was I supposed to do?"
I couldn't pick between those two options. And it wasn't like you wanted me carrying you like a princess again like last time.
"No, but did you really have to load me into the cart?"
"What's wrong with that? Carts are made to carry people."
Gawol went silent for a moment before speaking again.
"My backside hurts..."
Oh, so that was the problem? Big deal.
I generously offered a solution.
"Then sit on your knees."
"......Excuse me?"
"What, you can't?"
"Of course I can't! My joints would snap. And even if I managed it, my knees would be utterly ruined, so it makes no difference either way."
"Sheesh—"
Nothing but complaints with this guy...
I turned my eyes back to the road ahead.
"Just bear with it a little longer. We're almost there."
"......Understood."
"Good boy."
"............To think you're the one who snuffed out the torch in the first place."
I didn't catch every word, but my head snapped around on reflex.
"What was that?"
"...Nothing."
After that, the rest of the trip back to the wagon passed in blessed silence.
"Haaah..."
We made it...
A wave of exhaustion crashed over me, and I collapsed face-first right into a patch of mugwort. As I went down, I caught sight of the campfire. The flames had dwindled low, but embers still flickered. A few fresh logs would revive it in no time.
"Hey... stoke the fire. It's too dark."
Even if I could see fine in the dark, ambient brightness was a different matter... Plus, I was completely drained.
"Very well."
Gawol stood from the cart, brushed off his seat, and tossed a few logs onto the pit.
"It will flare up shortly. So, are you still planning to mix plum syrup into the sparkling water?"
"Ah... that...?"
He actually remembered.
Dragging my limp limbs across the dirt, I began crawling toward the wagon.
"Gotta have... carbonated soda..."
How could anyone resist?
Then Gawol stepped right in front of me, cutting off my advance.
"Ugh, what now..."
"Stay still. Who told you to burn through your internal energy just to pull a measly handcart?"
Urgh—right between the ribs.
"S-still, we got back fast thanks to that."
Results matter, right?
"Haaah."
Gawol looked up at the sky in utter disbelief, then lowered his gaze back to me.
"Yes, well. I won't deny that we arrived quickly, but exhausting yourself by needlessly forcing an outcome that required no such effort is the problem."
A bullseye... Wait, I used that one. A direct hit to my conscience.
Still, that didn't mean I was out of comebacks.
"What, then are you gonna make it for me?"
Not like he'd actually—
Without a word, Gawol unhooked the water skin hanging from my hip and uttered the most unexpected words.
"Yes. I shall mix it for you. Extra sweet... correct?"
Wait, really?
"Uh...? Y-yeah... that's right."
He really knew my tastes, and we'd only been traveling together for a few days...
"Please wait a moment."
Leaving me with those words, Gawol returned shortly carrying the bottle.
"Oh... that was fast."
You didn't just throw it together haphazardly, did you?
"I stirred it thoroughly, so you can drink it as is."
"...I'm trusting you on this."
"Just get up already."
"Yeah, yeah."
Let's see here...
Smack!
Planting my palms into the dirt, I kicked off the ground and popped upright in one fluid motion.
"Phew... Alright, hand it over."
"......If you had the energy to do that, couldn't you have simply stood up from the beginning?"
"Oh, come on, don't be like that. You already brought it all the way here, so stop nagging."
I held out an open hand.
Paw. Give.
"......Somehow I feel thoroughly wronged, but here you go."
Wronged, my foot. That's what mutual aid is all about!
Snatching the bottle from Gawol's grasp, I tipped it back immediately.
Slowly, starting with a cautious sip.
Gulp—
Stirring in the plum syrup had knocked out some of the effervescence, but—
"Mmph— khaaah..."
It tasted exactly as I had dreamed.
"Whoaa... To think I'd get to drink soda again in this life..."
I was genuinely a little emotional.
If I added some herbs, a splash of lemon, and a drop of honey to this, wouldn't it basically be cola? And if I could just fry up some chicken to go with it...
Swish, swish.
"Hehehe..."
Gawol spoke up, watching me.
"......Is it truly that delicious?"
"Of course! How could this possibly taste bad?"
It was a ninety percent match for the sparkling plum sodas I used to drink in my past life. The remaining ten percent difference was that the real plum syrup made the flavor profile far richer, while the carbonation was slightly gentler.
The former was an outright improvement, and the latter was gentle enough on this body, which was experiencing carbonation for the very first time.
Seeing Gawol stare fixedly at the bottle, I asked, "Why? Want a sip?"
"......Yes."
Huh? I thought he wasn't interested...
"Seeing you enjoy it with such relish, it isn't as though it contains insects. Surely it is worth trying once."
"That's the spirit. Here, take it."
Trying new things was important in life.
I passed the bottle back to him.
"Hmm... Mixing medicine with sparkling mineral water, is it...?"
"Medicine?"
"Indeed. When you break it down, isn't plum syrup simply medicinal herbs steeped in honey?"
"Now that you mention it, true."
Come to think of it, Coca-Cola originally started as a medicinal tonic and painkiller, so he wasn't wrong.
Meanwhile, Gawol lifted the bottle, keeping his lips roughly a finger's width away from the rim before pouring it into his mouth.
You don't have to air-chug it, you know. You can just touch the rim.
"Ghk— haaaah..."
Just looking at his expression, I didn't even need to ask what he thought.
"Well? Good, isn't it? Huh?"
"......Yes, well. It seems passable."
Hey.
"Whaaat? Passable...?!"
To a guy whose beverage horizons peaked at punch, sujeonggwa, and sikhye, it was just passable...?!
My pride took a direct hit.
"Hey, is that all you've got to say? Drink more!"
There was no way our holy carbonated water scored so low!
"No, taste is entirely subject— mmph!"
I shoved the bottle straight between Gawol's lips and dumped it down his throat.
"Mmph—! Mm-mmph—!"
"Can't hear you! Finish drinking before you talk!"
Take that for looking down on soda, you little punk! Where do you get off blaspheming against carbonation...?!
And so, our standoff persisted—right up until the fizzy liquid shot back out through Gawol's nose.
"............"
"Sorry."
My second apology of the day. To demonstrate peak sincerity for round two, I unclipped my sword, set it aside, and prostrated flat on the wagon floor.
"Haaah... Even granted your grievance, does it make any earthly sense to pour a drink down someone's throat until it erupts from their nose? And effervescent spring water, of all things..."
Ugh...
Picturing it made me wince at how horrific it must have felt. A sticky, stinging, bubbly liquid surging backward through the nasal passages...
The memory of the time I tried eating rice mixed with cola in my past life and sneezed suddenly resurfaced, making me shudder involuntarily.
Gawol fell silent again.
Peeking up slightly, I saw him squatting on his heels, staring down at me with an expression of profound discomfort.
"...Hey. Staring like that is making me really uncomfortable."
Please look at me like I'm an actual human being, thanks.
"Indeed. Then again, I never once told you to prostrate on the floor to begin with."
......?
"...Oh. Right."
I sprang straight to my feet and strapped the sword back onto my waist.
Why on earth had I been doing that, anyway...? Now that I thought about it, this wasn't Japan; there was zero reason for a martial artist to perform dogeza.
"Ahem. What time is it?"
"......It is nearly midnight. Given our meager water supply, we shall have to forgo washing up tonight."
"Jackpot!"
I was dreading the hassle anyway, so this was great news.
"Then I'm heading to sleep...?"
Leaving my sword strapped to my waist, I collapsed onto the folded blanket. Even folded in half, it was plenty long enough for my frame, keeping my lower back nicely cushioned.
"Ah. You remember where that spring was, correct?"
"Of course."
"Then that is sufficient. Go to sleep."
"Goo'night..."
Sleep well.
After checking that Gawol was laying out his own bedding nearby, I let a cozy drowsiness wash over me and closed my eyes.