I Am Not a Pump-and-Dump Scumbag

Translator : Elizabeth

First, let me make one thing clear: I am not a heaven-cursed bastard like a "pump-and-dump scumbag" or a "hit-and-run scumbag."

I loved only one woman in each world and never even glanced at other women.

...... To be honest, even if I excuse the first two times, I admit I had a bad feeling about the third one.

Since I had been transported to another world twice after falling asleep following the first night, I had a mindset of, "Surely it won't happen again."

For the fourth time, I honestly had a bit of a "whatever happens, happens" attitude.

But it’s unfair!

Just because of such an uncertain possibility, should I not respond to the love the woman in front of me is yearning for?

Are you telling me to ignore the love of these women who are beautiful, have killer bodies, and even became the strongest individuals in their respective worlds through a series of events?

... Thinking about it now, that might have been the wiser choice.

"Wow... Four transfers at once? Has this ever happened before?"

"Oh my god... Just one creates a mountain of post-processing work, but four? What kind of nonsense is this? We're all dead now."

"Don't tell me hostile factions from the same world came together, right? Please, anything but that..."

"Hey, don't jinx it! Even if all four are cooperative, we don't know how much overtime we'll have to do, but if they start fighting... Hmm? Mr. Hyun-soo, why do you have that look on your face?"

The Search Team Hunters, seeing me sweating bullets, asked about my well-being.

"Yes?! Oh, no... Just, just afraid that there will be a lot of overtime... Ha... Ha ha..."

"Ah, come to think of it, Mr. Hyun-soo is in the Interdimensional Transferee Settlement Support Division, right? Oh my, you must have it the hardest. Looking at that, it doesn't seem like just one or two people were transported. You're going to suffer a lot."

"You're right... Hahaha... Ha... Ha..."

My colleagues, completely unaware of my inner turmoil, thought I looked bad simply because I was about to be buried under a pile of work.

But when the dimensional transfer occurred and the face of a figure who appeared within it flashed briefly on the camera, I felt my heart sink with a thud.

Everyone was extremely sensitive as they had just been transported, so no one had been able to attempt a direct conversation yet. The filming ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠team had merely zoomed in from a very far distance to verify faces...

But in that screen that flashed by just before the fog settled thickly, my wife was there.

The first person caught on camera was a beautiful, mysterious woman wearing a robe and hat—symbols of a mage—with long, natural blond hair fluttering in the wind.

The magical power she harbored was so strong that lightning struck around her when her emotions became intense.

The Archmage, Lily Amarua, who formed a Hero's Party with me, subjugated the Evil Dragon, and saved the world.

After defeating the Evil Dragon and finally being able to rest, Lily let go of all the positions and duties she held and held a wedding with me.

In our newlywed home, we spent a sweet first night, and she gave me both her body and her heart.

Although we fought and bickered a lot here and there when we traveled together as the Hero's Party, the last face of Lily I saw was that of a beautiful and cute girl endlessly in love...

— That bastard is here! I can feel it instinctively! Disciples, find him! I will make the guy who mocked my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠pure heart pay the price without fail!

— Yes, Master of the Magic Tower!

She, who said she would lay down all her duties, authority, and responsibilities to live quietly, had somehow become the Master of the Magic Tower, commanding hundreds of disciples to search for me.

Looking at her appearance, it didn't seem like much time had passed since the day I disappeared...

If Lily, who misunderstands that I "pumped and dumped" her, sees me, she will try to skin me alive.

'Am I going to be murdered...?'

But the real problem is that this isn't a situation I can avoid just by trying to avoid it.

"Mr. Hyun-soo, the Search Team is attempting contact with those people right now. We don't know how the situation will unfold, but I think you need to go to the guidance facility installed at the site immediately, Mr. Hyun-soo."

"Kuheuk... Yes, I should go..."

At the words of another Search Team Hunter, I squeezed my eyes shut and stood up from my seat.

This was my job. The Interdimensional Transferee Settlement Support Division.

When ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I was first ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠transported to the world Lily lived in, transfers similar to my case began occurring in our world as well, and it is said that quite some time has passed since then.

As the world changed rapidly, many jobs were created to accommodate it, and one of them was Interdimensional Transferee Settlement Support.

In fact, it wasn't anything entirely new; it was like doing the work of the Ministry of Unification or National Intelligence Service employees—who used to teach North Korean defectors about South Korean culture, habits, and rules to follow—for people from other worlds.

The reason I was selected for it was the conclusion that, as the only person in Korea who had experienced a transfer and returned, and having experienced a whopping four worlds, I would handle people from other worlds well and know what they needed.

To some extent, it was a personnel action that piggybacked on my topicality, but thanks to my own awareness of being a "parachute appointment" and working hard, I produced quite a lot of results, so no one took issue with that appointment anymore.

But now, I faced a crisis where the pagoda of merit I had built up until now could collapse with a crash.

Because those four women, including Lily, would be absolutely full of hostility toward me right now.

'If I say I didn't pump and dump them, will they believe me? Won't they shoot fireballs the moment they see my face?'

By a stroke of extreme luck, among the four transported factions, except for the Astraia faction Lily came from, the other three had shown almost no movement yet.

Thinking about it, two of the three are types who move cautiously, observing the situation first rather than acting rashly.

The other one is a style where the body acts before the brain like Lily, but since she came from a world where humanity itself is evil, she must inevitably be taking a defensive stance in this place full of humans...

'It's actually better this way. If all four came looking for me at once, I might have really had my limbs grabbed and been torn apart. First, I'll untangle the knotted threads one by one...'

I drove my car hurriedly to Icheon, where the Astraia faction to which Lily belongs had been transported.

Perhaps the aftereffects of the transfer hadn't fully ended, as the city was covered in thick fog, and outside the fog, Search Team Hunters were diligently explaining the situation through loudspeakers.

"It must be confusing, but please calm down and listen to us first! This is a country called the Republic of Korea on a planet called Earth! In the Republic of Korea, we guarantee the safety and human rights of you interdimensional transferees, and if you just cooperate well, we can help you adapt in a comfortable environment—"

However, the Search Team Hunter's words were cut off by a sharp, ringing voice amplified by magic coming from within the fog.

"I don't need it! I don't care what kind of place or country this is! There must be a guy named Hans here! I felt it instinctively as soon as I came here!? Bring that bastard here! Until then, I won't listen to a single word you say!"

I expected it, but she was indeed as stubborn and reckless as back then.

That's why we fought day in and day out at first.

"I apologize, but the name Hans is not a name used in the Republic of Korea! Perhaps you have mistaken someone—"

Pajjijijik!

At the Search Team Hunter's words, the inside of the fog fluctuated, and a lightning bolt struck down around him.

"Heueok!"

"Are you daring to say right now that this Lily Amarua, Astraia's greatest Archmage, made a mistake?! You should be grateful that I can't move my body properly right now, huh!?"

It seems she can't move properly because the transfer isn't fully finished, but to be able to exert this much power in that state already.

Indeed, it was power befitting the strongest Archmage who could produce the strongest firepower in the Hero's Party.

The Search Team Hunter, who almost departed from this world unwittingly, broke out in a cold sweat and couldn't continue speaking, and I immediately ran to him and made the man step back.

"I'm from the Interdimensional Transferee Settlement Support Division. I will proceed with the conversation from here."

"Oh my, it's Mr. Jung Hyun-soo! I'm saved now! That person, I don't know why she's so stubborn and reckless, but she only says to bring a person named Hans and has absolutely no intention of listening to others. Once the transfer is completely finished and she can move, who knows what she'll do..."

Somehow, even though they only exchanged a few words from a distance, the evaluation wasn't much different from when I first saw her.

It seems Lily might need to reflect on herself a bit.

I grabbed the loudspeaker instead of the Search Team Hunter and shouted toward the fog.

"This is Jung Hyun-soo from the Interdimensional Transferee Settlement Support Division! First, please stop attacking others and listen to me for a moment! If you tell us the number of people transported together in the fog right now, we will provide accommodation where you can stay and—"

Just then, the woman's voice coming from within the fog trembled.

"This voice... Are you Hans by any chance?"

"...... I ask for your understanding that I cannot discuss an employee's personal life during official duties—"

"That kind of thing isn't important!"

... She's really reckless, I tell you.

Lily cut me off sharply and asked again.

"But why don't I feel the same mana as back then? What are you? Are you Hans, or not? What are you to speak with the exact same voice as Hans! If you are Hans, show proof!"

Lily, desperately wanting to confirm if it was me.

Although I couldn't see her figure because she was inside the fog, when Lily yearned for the answer she wanted in that way, she used to look at people with eyes like a lost stray dog.

I miss it.

I took my mouth off the microphone for a moment and said to the Search Team Hunters.

"I know that transferee a bit. I'm going to talk about something personal for a moment, so could you please not include this in the report?"

"Ah, yes. Will do."

Holding the microphone again, I called out to Lily.

"Lily!"

"W-What...!"

"If I prove I am Hans, will you cooperate with the Settlement Support Division's work?"

"...... Prove it first!"

Those damn mages are so suspicious; they always ask for proof, proof, for everything.

I took a deep breath and brought up a story that only Lily and I would know.

"When we were moving to Striger Village, remember when you once said you felt too much foreign sensation in your underwear and lower abdomen, so you felt weird and couldn't use magic well? Actually, because your way of speaking and behavior were so rude back then, I dissolved a slime in water, washed your panties in it, dried them, and put them back just to screw with you! The identity of that foreign sensation was probably the slime that went inside your body stirring things up..."

I tried to ignore the Search Team Hunters gasping in shock.

When the story that only the members of the Hero's Party at the time could know came out, Lily answered with a delighted voice.

"Hans... You really are Hans!"

"Yes, my real name used here is a little different, but clearly, I am your loving husband Hans..."

"Then die!!!"

Kwagwagwang! Kwa-ang! Kurururung! Flash! Kwagwang!

As the fog fluctuated as if it were about to explode, all kinds of magic flashed and poured intensively onto the spot where I was standing.

"Kkiyaaaaaaack!!!"

Lily didn't seem happy at all to be reunited with her loving husband.

It was a truly heartbreaking reality.