Accidents Strike the Moment I Blink

"Haa... I hate this..."

The reunion with my parents, something I'd thought would never happen in my lifetime. The memories still haunted me like nightmares, leaving me unable to even eat meat—

But after bawling like a baby in their arms, reality started crashing down on me all over again. Sure, witches were at fault, and there were plenty of evil ones out there, but the Witchcraft family... if anything, they were closer to being my lifesavers.

She was called the witches' goddess and hailed as their empress, but she didn't really care about preserving or sustaining the witch race. Massacring the Hardliners was more like revenge for the Witch Hunts.

And considering the timing, she'd been in seclusion raising her child, so it was impressive that she even showed up to handle it herself. She took on that massive risk, coming to deal with the trash witch who'd made me disappear just like that.

Even my parents had coldly disciplined me for it, nagging me as their witch mother to show some respect to Lady Witchcraft.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with my life now?"

I'd been charging forward with nothing but the resolve to avenge my parents, and then suddenly they get revived... I didn't have an original goal anyway, but now I was totally adrift, and enrolling in the academy had become my top priority.

"Can I even get along with people...? What if she's just some thing wearing human skin...?"

Anyway, it was pathetic to admit now, but my senior had messaged me at dawn asking for a tour of the Holy Kingdom, so as her junior witch, I'd agreed to guide her. She was basically royalty... and I was like a subject, right...?

I rubbed my dry face, muttering to myself as my parents waved me off with their encouragement. I'd just have to try my best somehow.

So, with the appointed time long past, where the hell was my terrifying senior?

Witches weren't great with gadgets like smartphones, so I'd figured she'd at least send a familiar, but instead, some bizarre doll mask was wandering the streets.

Anyone could tell that doll mask was her familiar... There couldn't be two people in this world crazy enough to contract something that freaky-looking.

"Seriously, when's this crazy senior showing up?"

"Oh, Junior! Hi~"

Wiyu Witchcraft, bound with rope and being dragged away by a healthy young man. Is it because Tani's a witch that the Hardliners are taking her? Or did she cause trouble and a friend is dragging her off? Or...?

There were too many possibilities, so drawing on my inquisitor experience, I tried to assess the situation as cautiously as possible.

Fuck, it can't be a kidnapping, right? In the middle of the Holy Kingdom? Of Witchcraft? That'd make today the sequel to the Pantheon collapse and my parents' death anniversary.

Clinging to cold logic that it couldn't be a kidnapping, I called the professor who'd brought the senior here. The public phone connected, but from 6 a.m., it was busy—must be talking to someone.

"It's probably nothing."

The doll mask had chased after her like mad when some guy who clearly didn't know whose slave she was dragged her off, so she should be fine... probably...

"Big trouble!! Devil worshippers invaded through a weakened Holy Kingdom barrier!!"

"Devil worshippers kidnapped a passing maiden!!"

"Oh, Tani? The hole in the barrier you smashed yesterday fighting let the devil worshippers crawl in!!"

Holy knights and priests were sprinting around screaming. One inquisitor senior recognized me and, sorry to bother you while resting, explained the emergency.

I listened calmly, then agonized briefly over whether to tell them who the poor kidnapped maiden(?) was.

"You can't even die by suicide in the Holy Kingdom... What now?"

Even if I committed seppuku right here, too many people would revive me. Could I grab my parents and flee to the edge of the continent...?

★★★

"We... we did it!! We successfully kidnapped a maiden from the Holy Kingdom!!"

"No need to go with the plan of using that world-class idiot ex-black mage pushover!"

"Honestly, he looked dumb from the start—I was worried. How's a face like that supposed to lure a girl?"

"But we just grabbed her and ran... Isn't she too docile?"

The kidnappers—the devil worshipper crew—eyed Wiyu, sitting tied up in the corner of the truck.

She was a stunning beauty with huge breasts—to sacrifice to a devil, there couldn't be a more valuable girl.

But normally, kidnapping victims panic and freak out, right? Her expression, like she was just observing some exotic animal, seemed eerily inhuman.

"Hey, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠miss! You a virgin?"

"I'm curious too—what does that even mean?"

Grand Duke sometimes sang "virgin~ virgin~," and Senior Bukureshti went around saying it too. I had no clue what "virgin" meant, so when I asked, the devil worshippers nodded with pleased faces.

No doubt—a perfect pureblood 100% virgin... or not.

"No, miss, you got kidnapped! Human sacrifice for the ritual!"

"And before offering you, we're shaking down your guardians for cash—call their number!"

"Even the professor? She might be ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sleeping."

"You get what we're saying, right? You're cooperating too calmly—it's creepy."

"First time getting kidnapped, so I dunno what to do..."

Pathetic as it sounded, I'd just gotten chewed out by the professor yesterday. Gotta watch my words and actions... If I seem too inhuman, everyone gets scared and avoids me.

So after observing plenty, I'd slowly figure it out and act!!

I was kidnapped, sure, but they didn't seem threatening... Human sacrifice to summon a devil? Any devil that shows up would probably be Grand Duke or Mom's acquaintance, so no biggie.

My junior just watched without intervening, so maybe it really was nothing? Like those minor events that pop up at the academy sometimes.

Even devil worshippers boost faith or whatever... Some political structure thing I learned... Couldn't recall the word, so I was pondering when the kidnappers got through to the professor.

Beep-beep-beep.

"No way—is this girl really your charge? Student gets kidnapped and you're acting weird?"

"Student Wiyu, getting bullied at the academy or something? Now I see her skin's black too?"

"Even devil worshippers don't sacrifice bullied, tormented kids..."

"Eh? So what's the problem?"

"Stronger grudges and resentment make devils side with you. Miss got lots of friends?"

"Tons! Over ten for sure."

"Those real friends...?"

The devil worshippers looked at her with pity beyond worry, muttering they'd been bullied too.

Before sacrificing, time for a loser check—they pulled out a questionnaire. That's when—

Vrooooom—

Void Mask appeared, rocketing after the truck on a bike at insane speed.

"Whoa, it's Void Mask."

Her owner got kidnapped nowhere but the Holy Kingdom, in a crowded morning after dawn prayers with tons of people around. The shock had her face twisted in rage.

The devil worshippers, unable to read her expression, just saw a crazy doll mask chasing them.

"Eh, those are black magic too?"

"N-no talent, can't use 'em."

"Oh... poor thing."

They looked at me pitifully, so the kidnapper protested it wasn't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠'cause no talent that they hunted sacrifices.

Even as a hostage(?), I'd been inconsiderate—sorry, I comforted him.

The kidnappers sensed something off, but first, deal with the pursuer.

Bombarded nonstop with black magic and spells, Void Mask—who lacked ranged attacks—dodged around before getting shot down.

Boom—!!

The bike exploded in flames, flung aside.

"Got her!"

"Who just said that, fuck!!"

No sooner said than from the smoke, something massive accelerated at huge speed, chasing the truck.

"What the hell is that!!!!"

Void Mask atop a small train, laying tracks in real-time to pursue rapidly. Switching track types on the fly, installing them on the ground for unbelievable evasion maneuvers, closing in fiercely.

No choice—the kidnappers grabbed the black mage who'd yelled "We got her?!" and hurled him at Void Mask.

Startled, she caught him, derailing the train—it tumbled across the road. The doll head detached, rolling pathetically.

"Ouch, that looks painful."

★★★★

Thanks to one comrade's sacrifice, the devil worshippers barely escaped.

They tied Wiyu to a chair on a blood-red magic circle—who knows what paint—and left to use her as hostage leverage.

Worried Void Mask might be down, the door opened to an unexpected face.

"What?!"

"Multrenung? What're you doing here?"

"Huhu... Trying to switch to black mage, ended up a criminal by accident."

Multrenung's major was black magic, so hunting lost darkness led him to join devil worshippers somehow.

Ridiculous, but registered as a cleric publicly, so the plan was use that to kidnap a virgin for sacrifice.

"With that face?"

"Huhu, just staring gets you reported."

"Yeah, figures."

"Not a shred of kindness in you..."

"Why not just be a cleric?"

Instead of slaving over black magic, with the Goddess of Nurture attached, couldn't he lead with her faith? Bishop material, even start a small church in the Holy Kingdom—why chase black magic so hard?

Multrenung opened up: tons of tragic backstory and sad reasons.

"First, Goddess kept saying I'm so useless, let's make crime money—"

Click.

"Take me back to my black mage bully days..."

"Sorry... lots of reasons..."

"But commoners can't make money! Kidnapping's the big score!!"

"Aftermath?"

"One devout believer sacrificing for God covers it."

"You're just planning betrayal, Goddess..."

Why's our outer god so different? I got why Multrenung stared blankly, hit with reality.

During academy break, her "big score" temptation hooked his weak heart—he chuckled bitterly at his trash self.

No, she's the bad one tempting...?

"Believer, if you sacrifice, I enter the Pantheon as the god who saved a maiden from devil worshippers!"

"Not even a speck of shame."

"Tch... no choice? Die once? Pick better next god."

"You're psycho too, huhu..."

Checkmate? Multrenung smiled enigmatically, at peace even now.

"Anyway, let's go! Play it as me infiltrating after spotting the plot to save my friend."

"Lies just roll off your tongue, Goddess."

"What, not saving your friend? Kill you twice?"

"Didn't see the blackmail reversal coming."

Always learning from her personality—my jaw dropped in awe.

As we untied and tried fleeing, devil worshippers kicked the door in.

"Knew it! That face screamed traitor!"

"Plan went too smooth—kept suspecting!"

"Fuck, you steal our wallets!!"

Last guy's shout drew eyes to the Goddess. Shameless, she countered "Teleport"—need money to raise believers.

Stunned by her gall, we missed blocking the devil summon.

The floor magic circle glowed red, summoning hellish aura to the mortal plane.

"Haha!! Come!!! Devil!! Accept our offering and grant our wish!!!"

Kaboom.

A massive explosion blew ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the warehouse apart; a devil emerged at the circle's center.

The worshipper knelt, shouting.

"Answerer of the call! Reveal your great name!!"

"Aris Witchcraft."

"No, fuck!! Didn't wanna summon this level devil!!!"

"What'd you call, you lunatic!!!!"

"Doom has come!!!!"

We're all dead!!

Full panic gripped the worshippers. Knocked aside by summon backlash, I got up to find Grand Duke before me.

"Oh, Grand Duke, hi. What brings you here?"

Furious Grand Duke gripped a greatsword from god-knows-where, rampaging to slake the witch's thirst with their blood.

Amid it, he handed me ice cream he'd bought 'cause I like it—Multrenung and I shared it.

As Grand Duke pummeled the worshippers to bits,

"Aigoo~ My little puppy!!! What in the world happened?!"

A sparkling beauty approached, dusting debris off me. Checking for wounds with teary worry, I cautiously asked.

"Ah?! Mom?! Is that you, Mom?!"

Her look was so different I didn't recognize. She radiated auntie (maternal) vibes...!

Wondered why I called such a pretty sis "auntie"—turns out it was Mom!!

I hugged Mom, foaming at the mouth, passed out with blood trickling from nose and mouth, shaking her desperately as Grand Duke freaked.

"...You talk rough daily, but you treasure our mom."

Total mess. Worshippers sprawled with extra joints galore.

Grand Duke raging to wake fainted Mom.

In the chaos, whenever my wallet got swiped, Goddess had long fled.

Perfect timing—Void Mask led holy knights and cops storming in.

...No confidence I'd fix this.

"Multrenung... I'm a girl, so you'll protect me like a man, right?"

"Sounded just like our Goddess."

Always "I'm a guy," but girl now...? Pushed out, Multrenung got booted.

"What do you want!! Hostage safe, right!!"

"...Holding mother and daughter hostage. Want them back? Prepare cash."

"Mother and daughter? Who?"

"Aris Witchcraft and Wiyu Witchcraft?"

"If you can hold them, why ask us for money!!!!"

"Fuck, crazy black mage!!! Run!!!"

"Deyaaaah! This situation!! Can't handle-desu!!!"

Even holy knights fled in terror, no solutions.

Some tried resisting in disbelief, but Multrenung showed foaming, fainted Aris Witchcraft—mental breakdown, they passed out.

"Going well?"

"Split half the cash?"

"Three-way with me the goddess."

""?""

──Situation escalated, but.

Multrenung, unwanted, gained infamous glory.

What black mage holds Witchcraft duo hostage for ransom?

Scammed the pope for pocket change, bought Wiyu breakfast.

Dumped cleanup on Professor Vermilio.