Ignite, Youth's Blazing Love!
"Come to think of it, learning all sorts of things is great and all... but what's your academy specialty?"
"I dunno!"
"...Not astrology? You've been hanging around the divination professor—what have you even learned?"
"Human surfing?"
Bukureshti had a ton she wanted to say, but she didn't feel like prying, so she just shook her head. She knew I was desperate to advance, but she advised that I should at least know how to flaunt my main subject. Thanks to that senior's kind advice—and since I was part of the graduating class under the divination professor—I decided to practice divination. Surprisingly enough?
I actually had a decent knack for it. Sure, stuff like constellation astrology or feng shui? I'd hear it and think, What the heck is that even supposed to mean? Staring at all those countless stars in the sky, I had no clue which was which or why they formed those shapes. Feng shui was a nightmare—endless pointless details, super complicated, nitpicking every little position until it wasn't just boring, it was exhausting.
But crystal ball astrology? How convenient is that? One crystal ball and you can divine anything. Of course, it's totally unrelated to combat, but so what? The real point is you can make a living off it, right?
"Crystal ball! I can do divinations with a crystal ball!"
"Coming from you, that actually carries some weight... Give it a shot, then."
By the way, even if you see the future, it's not a fixed observation—it's always possible to change. Divination just shows possibilities, so don't make the mistake of treating the future as set in stone, my senior warned me worriedly. I wondered why she had to go that far, but apparently, some maniac had built a personal shrine to all the gods while she was away briefly, so explanations were necessary.
"Alright! Anyone wanna get a reading from me?!"
"Me! Me!!!"
"Your courage is unmatched in our group..."
While all my friends chilling at the cafe looked away, one guy shot his hand up high and yelled. Adjusting his glasses, the cute horse suin Revo dashed over and plopped down in front of me, eyes sparkling.
"Please...!! Read my love fortune!!!"
Will my love come true? His bold, full-throated shout of pure youthful passion drew the friends crowding in. Even the unicorn senior who was about to leave pulled off some moonwalk to join. What more was there to say? In an academy where young men and women live side by side, fiery youth blooms brightest. Nothing's more entertaining than someone else's love life.
"Let's do it quick before Beatus gets back."
"This guy's super proactive~"
"Everyone knows he keeps gifting her the potions he brews himself."
"Some jerks tease him like he's slipping her aphrodisiacs."
No love could be more steadfast. Persistent? Sure. Pure? Absolutely. He brews all sorts of potions with loving care and gifts them periodically like presents. Even oblivious me, Wiyu Witchcraft, could tell he was head over heels!! What ending would this love meet? Even if it spoiled things, they couldn't resist peeking into my crystal ball for a glimpse of those "possibilities" in the future.
"Yal-li-ya-la, yala-sheng, yal-la-ri yala~"
"Is that the incantation?"
"It's just random nonsense... You could skip it, but it kills the vibe. Alright! What future awaits~?"
What the crystal ball showed was Beatus with long hair and horns grown just right for grabbing. The sharp, somewhat masculine Beatus we knew was nowhere—just Beatus blissfully cradled in a muscular young man's arms. Seeing that "possible future," everyone froze.
"...Uh, this is just... one possibility! I didn't fix the future observation!!!! Believe me!!!"
Unfortunately, one boy died that day. But hey, after practicing a bit, I got the hang of that possession ritual(?) and summoned 108 gods to shove Revo's departing soul back into his body. Success—resurrection achieved. Yeah, even Grand Duke passed out bleeding from shock at that brutal future vision of his brain getting smashed. What more was there to say? Everyone else desperately avoided eye contact, pretending nothing happened, like they'd glimpsed something they shouldn't.
"So this is netorare..."
"No!! According to the 'common sense(?)' Grand Duke taught me! No confession! No dating! So it's not NTR—it's BSS!!"
"Why not just kill him?"
"You got no heart?"
The unicorn senior, healing Revo—who was coughing up blood with every hack using divine magic—looked horrified. Meanwhile, Kali, impressed by his first real netorare(?), pitied him with, "Wild law says the strongest male wins." Orochi quietly slipped him a knife, murmuring, "If life's just suffering, end it honorably," then flopped over.
"No choice!! Emergency muster!! Love Manipulation Squad, assemble!!!"
★★★
"I never joined any Love Manipulation Squad! More importantly, it's just me?!"
Zeke Giratina spat out her shock at the ridiculous story. But that faded quick... realizing Revo's future could be hers too.
"Revo... you're me..."
*Drip*
Sharing the pain of loving someone, the two embraced. Then Zeke punched Revo down, whining why his chest was bigger than hers. Brushing her hands off, she eyed us coolly.
"Shouldn't someone with dating experience help?"
"Our lady?"
"Tendo doesn't like wild girls. He prefers demure ones?"
"Our lady's got a shot then?"
Why drag the top student—who's hopeless at romance—into this? Defending myself, I pointed out that Beatus got stolen due to "manliness." That ripped muscular build? Even I, stuck in this soft woman's body, was jealous of that perfect physique. He'd controlled his diet and slaved over workouts to sculpt it. No wonder slim Revo lost pathetically.
But this future wasn't set—master some manliness, and the possibility opens up!
"Here!! Feel this!! This is a man's muscle, forged with real dedication! Chest thickness is on another level!!"
"Ooh, Aranemu's muscles are killer. Even this shark suin approves."
"Hold still, Yamucha—you're the only comparison here. Who asked you to have such enviable gains?!"
"Ehehehe, uhehehe!! Uh, no, I mean... *gasp*, this is just... unavoidable, y'know... O... oh, it's huge..."
"...Grand Duke, is this right?"
"Yamucha's the sacrifice...">
Poor sweet Yamucha Aranemu, who showed up just 'cause we called—what'd he do to deserve this teasing? Surrounded by the girls, his pathetic screams as they groped his "muscles(?)" were heartbreaking. Orochi babbled that abs-wise, our lady's were better anyway.
"This sturdy chest is insane!"
"Thanks a ton. Wiyu's the best!"
"Yeah... a chest like this? Popularity comes automatic."
"Why the hell are you even touching my chest!!!"
Flustered and embarrassed, but praised by the girls for his killer muscles—Yamucha's face flushed a bit, weirdly pleased. I explained Revo's plight, and he pressed his throbbing forehead, sighing deeply.
...So just start working out now...? But why touch my chest...?
Needed a comparison for clear goals?
"No matter how I think, there's no reason for my chest to get groped!"
"Uh... well, you don't have much muscle, Yamucha."
"Yeah?"
"Wanna feel mine? Didn't bind today—grab on."
Look at this~ Won't even fit in one hand, totally uselessly huge~ Giggling, I leaned in closer. Guys—friends even—comparing chests should be fine, right? Like checking muscle gains after gym. Even if Yamucha grabbed with both hands, I'd just say, It's all fat, right? No shame. A guy groping without a hint of embarrassment? I'd feel truly seen as a bro. Of course, pre-grab, it was Schrödinger's cat territory.
Was I flirting to seduce Yamucha? Using Revo as an excuse for my own urges, big-picture style? As doubts swirled and everyone watched tensely...
"Grab it... he's a guy, ain't he..."
Orochi, pressing a pistol to Yamucha's back for our lady's sake, threatened. If this punk dates Wiyu, Tendo can claim our lady...!! Despite the snake's murderous glare, those head-sized tits overwhelmed—the scorpion didn't freeze.
"Mu-cha, mu-cha...">
Yamucha Aranemu shattered a window and fled amid hails of bullets. Kali respectfully nodded at his choice. Grand Duke felt... complicated, but pitied him purely.
"Honestly, can't even get mad at that..."
"Not the issue, Wiyu."
"Groping a non-muscular chest? Just feels like a warm water balloon... Tell him to gym first, then grope."
"Poor earnest Yamucha."
"Tail-wag? I'd sting with venom. But zero thoughts? Hilarious."
Kali and Zeke kneaded my offered chest, trading barbs. Asked if Revo wanted a feel? He pondered jumping out the window but politely declined.
"Beatus doesn't have these."
"Honestly, I think they're grotesquely big."
"Wanna kill her."
Zeke poked my back with a dagger, fuming. It didn't even register—I missed it entirely. Finally, I played the Grand Duke card.
"Truth is, everyone here knows—your build's hopeless from the start. No amount of training makes that muscular.">
"...Potions, maybe...?"
"Drug-induced muscle growth? Makes you impotent.">
"No way out, Grand Duke!!"
"If you truly love her, does form matter? Ready to do anything to keep Beatus by your side?!">
The demon stared down seriously, six eyes blazing with hellfire, piercing soul and heart.
His agony was brief—true love meant he'd do anything effort could seize!
"Yes!!"
"Change your thinking!! A real man takes the path only men can!!!">
Moments later, Revo—changed in a flash—stood before us. We all just glanced around awkwardly, speechless. But critiquing that? Awkward.
"Beatus is both sexes...! Aim for the other side!!">
"Grand Duke, but you didn't account for getting wrecked in a choo-choo train hookup."
"Damn, true. Once the female falls, males claim all—that's the rule.">
"What're they on about?"
"Don't lose that innocence, Wiyu."
Revo, ready for crossdressing; Kali and Grand Duke's insider talk; Orochi plugging his ears—no explanations there. I tuned out fast. Crossdressing the answer? Weird, but it suited him. Felt like Beatus's type...?
"Crossdressing's men-only, so peak manliness?"
"Hahaha!! Yes!! How's it look!! Super hot, right?!?">
"Hold up.">
He'd bought tons of women's clothes and undies—if I turned male, I'd try 'em. Curious how they'd feel; gotta show Mom. Change begged frantically, ditching dignity, but the curious witch only eyed them greedily.
"Hmm, Revo. Two flavors possible? Definite advantage."
"Really, Kali...?"
"Key wedge: Beatus's birthday soon!! Got a great idea!!"
"Trust me," boasted Kali, Beatus's old friend. She showed a poster for the Suin Road Race Tournament.
Eligibility: Any suin who can run...!
"You got this, right Revo?"
Win the prize, gift it to Beatus. Seemed more effective than crossdressing. Still, keep the dress... and enter the race.
For love's conquest...!!