Entrance Exam 2: My Overly Spectacular Life
I've lived a simple life, saving money for Mom and occasionally buying comic books with what little I had left. But then I fought with her for the first time, ended up turned into a girl, and now my race is supposedly a Witch, though I still have no idea what that means. My familiar, the Grand Duke crow, seems like an incredibly intimidating figure, which stresses me out. I thought I was a commoner my whole life, but turns out I'm nobility, so I have to take the entrance exam. And now, if I don't pass the final one, I'm out. Isn't my life way too spectacular for its own good? They say life has ups and downs, but this is straight-up vertical dragon ascension!
"When you're feeling down~ Chant the spell of happiness~♬"
"Isn't it too early to lose your mind? This is the time to show your true witch power!"
"I told you I don't know what that is!! It's like suddenly being told, 'You're actually a dragon!' What's the difference?!"
"Witches aren't quite on par with dragons."
"....Huh? For real?"
"Hahat, just kidding!"
"Right?"
"If a dragon meets a witch, it better run. Why court death?"
"?"
Why would a dragon run...? Nah, better not ask. My head just hurts thinking about it. And my eyes are getting a little teary too.
The six exams were more ordinary than I'd expected, but the problem was competing against all these prospective students. Some kids who passed two already jumped back in just to knock out rivals and snag top spots. Thinking back, maybe it was less about sabotage and more about aiming for the best class with high scores.
"A country bumpkin from the sticks wouldn't know squat about economics or history."
Monsters? Hunting's one thing, but being shown ones I'd never seen before and asked to write about them had me breaking a cold sweat. Archery I was decent at, but how do you beat someone who fires eight arrows at once and skewers sixteen targets? Magic? A mana-less hack like me who settled for swinging a sword—what magic?
But maybe because my race is witch? Everyone stared at me like they couldn't comprehend. They probably thought I was some half-baked witch who couldn't even cast properly.
On the flip side, the instructor thanked me, shoved some money in my hand, and left.
"This Witchcraft kid's really been well-educated!"
The guy who'd looked totally listless and unmotivated was suddenly tearing up, genuinely grateful. If even dragons flee from witches, what the heck happens if one of those witches casts magic? I tried imagining it for a second, but since my only exposure to magic was comics, I gave up quick.
So now it was just us exam-failures-who-still-had-a-shot-at-passing-the-remaining-subjects mixing with admits who insisted on testing more.
"Don't look so down!! You can live 200 years—kneeling for one ain't nothin'!"
Beatus slapped her hip, belting out a hearty "UHAHAHAT!" like she had zero worries. Fail? Just retake till you pass! Her sparkling eyes and passionate voice fired me up a bit too.
"Last one's sparring, right? No hard feelings if we match up?"
"Deal!"
"Oh, and this here's my friend. She's sparring with us too."
"Hi there?"
"If it's not rude, mind if I ask what the person next to you does? As long as it doesn't violate manners."
"Huh? Ask her and the only thing that'll stay intact is my head."
"You mean her race? Dad's shark-side, Mom's T-rex. Name's Doushus Kali."
"Cool, I got nothin'."
Anyway, I shook her offered hand—she was a beastkin, apparently. She sighed about struggling to run on land, sucking at bows, and no magic, so turns out she's a brainiac despite the build.
"Oh yeah, Kali. This one's a witch who claims she's a guy despite those massive jugs."
"Doesn't Beatus pull the 'I'm a guy' card when it's convenient?"
"Succubi are naturally yangseonggu-yu anyway."
"Huh? For real?"
Beatus isn't super well-known, but closer to female form she's a succubus, male form incubus—basically both, so yangseonggu-yu. She shrugged it off.
"SUCK YOU BUS for girl, IN♂YOU BUS for guy—that's the gist."
"Uh, Kali? That's just how she is."
"Feisty kid, right?"
Why that response...? Still, knowing she's not fully a girl eased my mind a tad. Sitting with girlies as a guy is awkward as hell.
While Kali and Beatus gawked at my wobbly chest—totally oblivious—and I scratched my head...
"We'll now distribute lunches to waiting examinees. Feel free to use the cafeteria or head out for a bite before matches start."
Come to think of it, exams started at dawn and dragged to lunch. Turns out Team 1 was just one group— so many applicants they had Teams 2, 3, etc. A week-long entrance exam? How many kids? And with dropouts, no promotions, repeats, or eternal undergrads via teacher grabs—can I even graduate if I get in?
I sighed into the dirt when Beatus stood, saying let's fill up hearty before fighting.
Flap flap—
"Now, lovely ladies. Pause your journey and rest a spell."
"Whoa! A talking crow!"
"See? Talking crows are peak popularity."
"Grand Duke..."
He flew from the guardians' area, landing casually on my shoulder, greeting my friends. Kali was amazed at the talking crow; Beatus quietly averted her eyes, gauging.
"Hehe... Greetings, Grand Duke... lowly succubus Beatus, hehe..."
"No need to grovel. This ain't Hell, and you're not even from there originally."
"S-still, you're one of Hell's legendary warlords, right?"
"Huh? Grand Duke? That's an actual title?"
"Eh? Nah. But Grand Duke sounds cool."
"....So what were you originally?"
"Warlord's a bit lengthy, no?"
So the crow on my shoulder is one of Hell's kings? My mutter got a nod like "You just now figuring that out?"
Mom had him as familiar? And passed him to me?
"—Got it? With this Grand Duke's aid, you'll enroll. Or do you still crave solo challenge?"
His tone dropped, all six eyes fixed on me.
I still don't know what a Witch is. Mom probably didn't either, hence handing him over. Help from Mom means I pass, but is that right? I only wanted academy for her sake. The sword I swung and honed for ten years— one of my few talents. So if I said I'd enroll, shouldn't I at least keep that promise?
"Huhu, stubborn one. But admirable. Remember, though—you're still a growing child."
Learn compromise sometimes, you'll understand Mom's heart—he advised. As familiar, he'd handle meals, then donned a mysterious red hood from who-knows-where.
"No way, that's...!"
"You know it, Beatus?"
"History books say only to legendary heroes and favored contractors!"
"Th-that Chinese cuisine cert that hard to get?"
"Not even ten in the world have it."
What's Chinese cuisine? Cooking Grand Duke said he mastered in immortality, but quit if no talent.
The legendary Hell fried rice he served smelled savory and spicy—saliva flowed. Friends were face-planted in plates.
"Hoo, as expected of a witch. Captivated yet appraising my Change Fried Rice...!"
"Now I get why Mom's cold on fried rice."
"She was cold to mine too. Dumped ice water 'cause it was too hot."
"Wh-what?!"
Mom did that inhumane thing? Shocked, but she poured milk on spicy-hot rice, so believable. Grand Duke freaked at the food insult, though.
"Pass for sure. Feed me daily. Fail and I'm done."
"Over one meal?"
"Goats stick where fed well."
Funny image of headbutting goat. Beatus cackled, rubbing belly; I chuckled too.
Bellies full, we changed not to gym clothes but academy uniforms for sparring—enchanted for student protection. Other kids prayed desperately to wear these daily. Am I that desperate? Honestly, no clue. Impulse got me here; guts churning. Fight fierce or get crushed.
Shield kid's shattered by Beatus's headbutt. Kali's foe dove in good but couldn't scratch thick shark scales.
Friends passed, hugged, waved at me.
.....Right, no matter opponent, think of me first.
"Next! Wiyu Witchcraft!"
Up on the arena, opposite me: sunset-glow on ripe rice fields, golden as the countryside's finest scene captured in hair.
"Opponent: Jonathan Rehem!"
—Rehem, surname for this kingdom's royals only. I closed my eyes.
Ah, life really...