The First Step Alone and the Vanished Power
Our trio stood in the vast courtyard of the Grand Temple. It was a cherished sanctuary for all of Poscotia, serving as both park and cemetery. In one corner rested a freshly erected gravestone, its surface still conspicuously clean.
After all this time, I had finally managed to prepare a resting place for my father’s soul. I placed my hand lightly upon the stone, feeling the chill of winter wind against its cold surface. It was only stone, yet Azalea’s heart seemed to dwell within it, lending it warmth.
My fingertips traced the names she had carved by hand—my father’s name, and that of my child, whose gender I had never known. The inscriptions had been etched with sacred, radiant light.
The thought of my father threatened to bring fresh tears, but I swallowed them like an adult.
“Kaira.”
Pirel, who had been gazing up at me, called my name softly. I turned to her with a gentle smile.
“Yes, Pirel.”
“…Do you really have to go…? You could just live as Karin. The Saintess would keep your secret, and you’d surely find work. You could live quietly here without being hunted…”
“That would be one way, I suppose.”
I stroked Pirel’s soft hair with care.
“But my faith is too shallow. I don’t belong in a holy city like this.”
It was an excuse, and a clumsy one at that—Azalea saw through it at once, and even Pirel could tell.
Not every resident of the holy city was deeply devout. Even under direct Church rule, people lived ordinary lives, busy with their own affairs. I simply couldn’t bear the thought of bringing harm to those around me just by existing. If I hid among distant foreign tribes with little contact to the Empire, perhaps it would be different. But here, under the Empire’s protection and granted autonomy, living as Karin would eventually draw their reach through the shadows.
And there were problems beyond politics.
The entity beyond had retreated once thanks to Viran’s magic, but it would never relinquish my body so easily. It was surely lurking within my memories, gnawing at the seams of the world, plotting to manifest its true form here. If I remained in this city, I had no idea what would become of it. I refused to ruin the place that served as the spiritual heart of so many Imperial citizens—the city where Pirel and Azalea lived.
“I understand, Kaira. I’m sure you have reasons you can’t share with us… But you’ve always been thoughtful. You must have your reasons. I won’t stop you. Please stay healthy. And… don’t die. Please…”
“Of course. Thank you, Saintess.”
Azalea no longer pressed me. Her heart must have been torn. She wanted to keep me safe, yet part of her felt relief at not having to shoulder the countless problems my presence would bring.
“Kaira…”
Pirel wrapped her arms around my legs.
“Don’t go, Kaira…”
I felt the hem of my skirt grow damp. Though we had only been together for about a month, we had endured so much. We had learned we were the last blood relatives each other had left in this world.
I didn’t want to leave Pirel either…
But I had to.
“Pirel.”
“Kaira…”
“You hate those horrible shadows writhing as the world tears apart too, don’t you?”
“U-uh-huh…” I gently stroked the good girl’s head.
“I don’t want to leave you either. I… don’t want to part. But right now, only the Saintess can help you. I’m sorry, but I… can’t.”
Pirel pressed her lips shut and sniffled. She understood. I had to leave, and she had to stay. No amount of tears would change that.
“I’ll leave the Ashen Gale to you, Pirel.”
“Huh…? You should take the horse. You’re the one leaving.”
“No. If you follow the Saintess’s teachings well, you could become a fine priest or nun. I’m not forcing you, of course. You don’t have to enter the clergy. As long as you can use your divine power enough to suppress the darkness inside you, that’s all that matters.”
I bent down to meet her eyes.
“If you become a combat priest, you’ll travel to many places to cleanse impurities. You’ll need the Ashen Gale then. I’m just a wanderer—I can walk on my own two feet. If I ever settle somewhere and open a shop, I can sell a horse or foal for funds.”
“Kaira… Mmph?!”
I pressed my lips to hers, silencing her. Azalea flinched in surprise, though I hadn’t intended anything deeper than a simple kiss.
With a soft sound, my lips parted from hers. My cheeks flushed slightly as I spoke.
“Hehe. I love you, Pirel.”
Pirel looked up at me with damp, reproachful eyes, her sobs cut short.
“…As a mother?”
I smiled at the sulking little girl.
“Who knows. In many ways.”
I walked with Azalea to the road leading to Poscotia’s western gate. Thanks to Pirel and the Ashen Gale carrying my belongings, I now felt the full weight of the backpack that was nearly my size.
Pirel hadn’t come. I feared my resolve would weaken if I saw her face on the final stretch of our parting, and I didn’t want to see her cry again.
She had stayed in the Saintess’s room. Being the mature child she was, she had promised to wait quietly. By now, she was probably sobbing alone on Azalea’s bed—the place where she would sleep from now on.
“Where will you go now, Kaira?”
“…West.”
“The ogre plains? I don’t know if Glazalus has forgiven you, but the great nomadic tribes don’t welcome outsiders.”
“And then south.”
At those words, Azalea’s expression hardened.
“Kaira, that place…”
I had been thinking about it ever since buying the map in Drankafen. Beyond the Empire’s borders, beyond even the Church’s reach. Not a savage land, yet untouched by civilization—an eerie, silent place.
Southwest of the Church lay vast wetlands where countless tributaries of the Drankiz Great River intertwined, forming sprawling peat bogs and marshes. Though not uninhabited wasteland, it lay outside Imperial control.
No foreign races lived there; most residents were human. Yet disturbing rumors clung to the place.
“It’s dangerous. Even our Church can’t intervene there.”
“I know. But if I want answers, I’ll have to pass through it at least once.”
“Must you go all the way to that ominous place that worships the God of Rest…?”
Azalea barely caught herself.
The God of Rest—also known as the God of Death. The land ruled by His followers.
The Empire had its own followers of the God of Rest, but few willingly served a deity of death while living their lives, so the faith remained weak. Only a handful of scholars obsessed with death, funeral priests, eccentrics, and those seeking to learn necromancy paid it any heed.
And there existed a bizarre place where this god was the supreme deity. Not an evil land, but one where people revered death, where the boundary between life and death blurred across desolate marshes. That was where I had decided to go.
Perhaps the followers of the god who walked the perilous line between life and death could grant rest to the evil lurking in my memories.
‘Originally… I chose it as my next destination hoping to learn magic that could summon Father’s soul. Now it’s become something else…’
But I had to keep all of this from Azalea. Both burdens were far too heavy to lay upon the Saintess.
“As you know, Saintess, the ruling class there is… rather special. I think they’ll accept someone like me, cast out by the Empire. I might even learn a few things.”
“Learn things…”
Azalea let out a deep sigh.
“You really are a mage, Kaira.”
Whether it was praise or reproach, I couldn’t tell.
I pulled the conflicted Azalea into a tight embrace. She flinched for a moment before returning it. Her body began to glow softly, melting the winter chill as light snowflakes began to drift down.
“Take care of yourself, Kaira.”
“I will. Thank you for seeing me off. Please look after Pirel.”
And so I became completely alone. No Pirel, no Rin, not even the Ashen Gale. Traveling solo would be far more dangerous and grueling, but precisely because of that…
My heart fluttered with a hint of excitement.
…Excitement, canceled.
Carrying a pack my own size was no easy feat. The moment I passed through Poscotia’s western gate, I was utterly spent. I leaned against a tree, gasping for breath.
‘I thought it would be like a march… but it’s nothing like that.’
My experience marching on Earth was useless here. The roads were far rougher than any paved street, and my leather boots offered no shock absorption compared to modern soles. Besides, my current body was only half the size of the one that had marched on Earth. Hauling this weight for long distances was impossible.
‘Haa… I can’t go back and ask for the Ashen Gale again. I’ll just have to take it slow.’
While resting, I flipped through Viran’s spellbook, wondering if there was any body-enhancement magic to boost strength or stamina, but found nothing usable. The spells that were there were far too advanced for me to grasp right now. Feeling the winter wind chill my body, I sighed and stood up again. My legs trembled.
It wasn’t yet dusk, but I resolved to find an inn in the village outside Poscotia’s walls as soon as possible. I began walking once more.
Walking and resting, walking and resting beneath lightly falling snow, I moved at a pitifully slow pace until I finally reached the small inn I had longed for—just as the sun set and twilight was about to fade.
“Haaaaah…”
After renting a room and kicking off my boots, I collapsed onto the hard bed, my body cold and exhausted.
“Still… I should test it one more time.”
I pulled out a slender piece of charcoal I had tucked inside my robe for writing and snapped it with all my strength. Charcoal dust scattered as the stick broke weakly.
I pressed the two broken pieces back together and gripped them tightly, my hands now smeared with soot. Closing my eyes, I focused.
‘Rewind…’
Nothing happened.
“Haa…”
So my power really was gone.
Perhaps, since my memories and soul were already riddled with wounds leading to the other side, it had simply taken the power away, knowing it could return at any moment to devour my personality. Or maybe my unconscious mind, fearing the invaders beyond reality, had suppressed it on its own.
Come to think of it, ever since leaving Viran’s house, both Pirel and Azalea had said strange things. That I smelled like a person now, and that they liked it. Could that strange bread-like scent everyone had adored have been a side effect of Time Rewinding?
My thoughts grew complicated.
‘Traveling without that incredible power, relying only on sword and magic… Can I really survive?’
…
…
Lying quietly alone, I could hear the lively chatter of villagers drinking in the hall below, which doubled as tavern and dining room. As the pleasant noise lulled my weary body toward sleep, a whisper echoed in my mind.
‘Seduce them.’
…it said.