Let's Gift the Witch a Garter Belt
"Huff... huff... Allen... Wake up for a second."
"Mmm..."
"Allen, come on, wake up."
"Mmm... What is it..."
"I think there's something outside..."
"Mmm... What the hell... Stop talking nonsense and let me sleep..."
It was dawn. Lucas had shaken me awake in a panic. Maybe it was the bone-deep exhaustion, but his words barely registered. I brushed it off as nothing and drifted back to sleep.
Morning came.
"Ugh~ I slept like a log. Lucas, didn't you wake me up last night?"
Lucas looked like he hadn't slept a wink. Dark circles hung under his eyes.
"Haah... I thought I was going to die of fright."
"Why?"
"I saw something weird last night."
"Like what?"
"A bear... I saw something that looked like a bear."
"What? Where?"
"Outside the window. It was staring inside."
"Are you serious?"
"Dead serious. Do you have any idea how scared I was?"
Lucas was rambling from the moment he opened his eyes. It seemed he really had seen something. He wasn't the type to lie about this sort of thing. A bear, huh... Even I had spotted what looked like a massive bear paw print the day I tumbled down that hill. Maybe it was just a coincidence.
Serina wasn't reacting at all, so perhaps Lucas was simply being oversensitive.
"You might still be on edge after that whole royal guard incident yesterday."
"Y-you think so? Maybe it was just a dream. It couldn't have been Lady Serina appearing as a bear in my nightmare, right?"
We glanced over at Serina, who was still sleeping peacefully.
No way...
"Oh, right. I've got some good news for you, Lucas."
"Good news?"
"Yeah. Sylvia might come looking for you soon."
"For real? Why?"
"I asked her to. I told her to persuade you."
"Persuade me about what? Lifting the konjac ban?"
"Exactly. You should make the most of that chance."
"Oh... You know, sometimes you actually do things I like."
"Whatever. Just act like a decent human being for once. And don't show off."
"Show off? Got it. I'll make sure it works."
He seemed thrilled at the prospect of a date with Sylvia. Lucas swore he'd turn it into a success and headed back down to the castle.
Serina said she wanted to nap longer and didn't bother seeing him off. Lucas looked secretly disappointed about that.
A few days later, Lucas dragged a pig up the hill. His expression, when I finally saw him again, was grim. He looked like a man carrying a heavy burden.
"Something wrong?"
I asked while slitting the pig's throat.
"Wrong? It's nothing..."
"Squee—"
The cry was pathetically weak. Something was definitely bothering him.
"Siiigh..."
Lucas kept sighing the entire time he was building the fire. It must have gotten on Serina's nerves.
"Spit it out before I finish cutting its neck."
"Y-yes?!"
"Tell us what happened. You're making me irritated."
"Ah... well, it's like this..."
Lucas told us what had happened with Sylvia. The story of her visiting the castle for their so-called date spilled out.
"I mean... I took her to the most expensive Chateaubriand place in the whole castle because I thought she'd like it!"
"And?"
"We ate some really good food... but her face stayed sour the whole time."
"What exactly did you say to her?"
I asked while butchering the carcass.
"What did I say...? Just that this was a place only I could get into. Something like, 'Consider it an honor.' That's all."
"Ugh. You picked every single thing she hates most and said it."
"How is that my fault? I was just trying to show how much effort I put in for her!"
"How is that effort?"
"Siiigh... Winning a woman's heart is so damn hard... Lady Serina, what should I do in a situation like this? You're a witch, so you must know, right?!"
Serina just stared blankly at Lucas's desperate plea.
Hey... Serina isn't exactly a normal woman. Ask the right person.
"Hmm..."
She turned and looked at me. I don't understand women's hearts either.
"You could ask Amon," Serina said, gazing off at a distant mountain.
"Who's Amon?"
"He's around. The demon my father used to consult a lot when he was trying to win over my mother."
"There's a demon who gives relationship advice?"
"Yes. Father always said he was the absolute best in that field."
"Oh. Let's go see him right now. Where can we find him?"
"Hmm... Not too far. I heard he's on Mount Hayara."
Lucas, listening intently, suddenly asked, "Wait, Amon? I've seen that name in books before. Isn't he the demon King Solomon summoned with magic long ago?"
"I wouldn't know."
"Among the seventy-two demons, I think it's the one with an owl's head and a wolf's body."
"Then it's him."
"Whoa... No way...! An actual living demon...!"
Lucas clutched his chest as he spoke.
"There's even a book about demons?"
"Of course. There's one about witches, one about dragons, books on zombies, all sorts of things."
"Who writes those, anyway?"
"How should I know..."
"Lady Serina. Can I ask you something else I'm curious about?"
Lucas questioned the witch again. Serina looked thoroughly annoyed.
"What."
"If a dragon and a witch fought, who would win?"
"I don't know. Never mention dragons to me again."
"Ah... Yes, yes, I'm sorry."
The witch sounded genuinely displeased. She must not be on good terms with dragons. Maybe it had something to do with that scar from the beginning? I'd have to ask later when she was in a better mood.
Lucas read the room and shuffled over to the cart the soldiers had left behind. They'd dropped it off and returned to the castle already. Several boxes sat on the cart. Lucas picked up the largest one.
"L-Lady Serina!"
"What."
"I've prepared a dress for you! I also brought the one you had reserved!"
"Really?"
The witch's face lit up. When she saw the clothes and shoes Lucas pulled from the box, her smile bloomed fully.
"Oh my... Look at this fine fabric."
"And this... It looks a bit lewd to me, but it's all the rage among young ladies these days."
"What is it?"
"It's called a garter belt... Sigh... It's embarrassing, but apparently it flies off the shelves."
"Really?"
The witch lifted the garter belt Lucas held out. The thing called a garter belt was oddly shaped clothing—full of holes and only about the size of a palm. Was this meant to be worn or taken off?
"What the hell is this?"
"Aigo... This is truly embarrassing, but they say it's an invincible outfit that can make anyone bleed from the nose."
"So it's clothing that makes people bleed? Like you right now."
"Y-yes? L-Lady Serina, please calm down. I only brought it because it's popular. I absolutely did not have any strange thoughts. Please put those nails away..."
Think before you speak, Lucas. There's no way Serina would ever wear that.
He had prepared garter belts in several colors. White. Black. Red. And what was this?
"Hey Lucas. What the hell is this?"
Cornered, Lucas scampered over at my call. The item I'd picked up looked like half-cut pants or some kind of skirt—I couldn't tell which.
"L-Lady Serina! This is what they call a skirt that goes with the garter belt!"
"A skirt?"
"Y-yes! You know Athens, right? Among the noble ladies there, it's so popular they can't keep it in stock."
"How would you know? You've never even been to Athens."
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.
"Just listen. I have ears too, you know. I specially imported this because I thought Lady Serina would like it."
"Hmph. It does look strange."
But inwardly, it seemed Lady Serina quite liked it. She kept stroking the skirt she'd accepted.
"The designer said you could wear it with a corset top, the skirt, and the garter belt, or pair the garter belt with a corset dress and it would look beautiful..."
"Shut your mouth. There's no way a witch would wear something like this."
"You shut up. What would a fashion idiot like you know?"
"Is that why Sylvia keeps dumping you?"
"This guy? No respect for his older brother at all."
I started bickering with Lucas.
While we squabbled, the witch examined the skirt from every angle.
"I'm going to change."
"Huh?"
We both turned to stare at her.
"A-are you going to put on the garter belt?"
"No."
"Then?"
"I'm going to wear this dress."
It was the red pleated dress we'd chosen in front of the dress shop that day. Serina pointed at it.
"Uh... Go ahead and change. We'll grill the meat while we wait."
While Serina was inside, Lucas and I stayed silent. An awkward quiet settled over us as we aimlessly flipped the meat.
Thud.
We heard footsteps as Serina came out. The moment the sound reached us, we whipped our heads around.
"W-wow..."
The exclamation slipped out on its own.
"How does it look?"
"It's an honor, Lady Serina... It suits you perfectly!"
Lucas fell to his knees in a daze, speaking as though in worship.
It was more than worthy of such a reaction. The red dress against her pale skin was a perfect match. Serina's figure was almost too dazzling to look at directly. Staring at all that red made something burn inside my chest. My body felt hot. The dress had a plunging neckline, and I couldn't tear my eyes away. That valley in the middle... Just... just lean forward a little. Please... hurry...!
"Serina...! Uh... ahem... It looks like there's something on your foot there...?"
"Where?"
Serina lowered her head.
Gulp.
A little more... more... more!!
"You damn pervert! And you still call yourself my brother!"
"Keuk...!"
Lucas's foot flew toward me. It's fine. I saw it...! That bountiful... something.
"Lady Serina, I'll castrate this bastard right now!"
Thud. Thud.
Lucas, calm down... You're a man too. You can understand. It hurts. Today I learned something for certain about the witch. No, about Serina.
Serina. You're really huge...!