Sweet as Pudding - 2
More than ten of the lord’s personal guards surrounded me. Right in the middle of a busy street, a dozen armed men. There was no way this wouldn’t draw every eye in the area. Residents stopped dead in their tracks, openly gawking at the spectacle.
“What, you came to watch? Why don’t you all go back inside?” The guard captain stepped forward and bellowed at the crowd. He even brandished his baton, waving them toward the shops. But with so many people already gathered, his threats were useless.
Flustered, the captain shouted, “We’re arresting a man who insulted the lord, so don’t get the wrong idea!”
“Insulted the lord? Bullshit. You’re the filthy bastards sucking the life out of the citizens.”
“What? Shut your damn mouth. Grab him and drag him away, now!”
I’d trained in martial arts since I was a kid. These guard punks didn’t scare me. Even if hundreds showed up, I wouldn’t flinch. Come on, then.
One of the surrounding guards threw a punch. I twisted sideways and dodged it easily, then drove my foot straight into his solar plexus. The man staggered backward, clutching his stomach.
“How’s that? I told you I trained when I was young!”
They’d clearly underestimated me, but I wasn’t going to make it easy. Time to show them exactly who they were messing with. Show them… show them… Huh…?
I dodged another barrage of punches and was about to counter when a kick from the side slammed into me. I crumpled to the ground with a grunt. I tried to get up fast, but several of them piled on at once, pinning me down.
They circled me and started kicking. Thud. Thud. Thud. I curled into a tight ball, trying to minimize the damage. It hurts… Stop… So many people are watching. This is humiliating. Just arrest me already.
Damn it. I could’ve sworn I was pretty good at fighting back in the day. Maybe it was all in my head? I had this memory of swinging my fists and sending dozens of guys flying…
“Haha. Look at this clown. So what if you learned some martial arts? How naïve. You really thought you were hot shit? We were all just going easy on you back then.”
The bastard looking down at me with a sneer—I remembered him. He’d been one of my sparring partners during those childhood lessons. The humiliation burned.
“I knew it would turn out like this.”
Right beside the guard stomping on me, the witch’s face appeared. The moment the guards saw her, they instinctively parted.
“Get up. You’re embarrassing me.”
The witch stared at me like I was pathetic. Don’t look at me like that. I had a plan… I brushed the dirt off my pants and stood, trying to act like nothing had happened. Stay cool. Casual.
“Ugh, you pathetic loser. This is why you shouldn’t act tough!”
“Stop yelling… People are staring.”
“Who the hell are you?!”
The guard captain thrust his long baton toward the witch. She gave him a slow glance and completely ignored him.
“Are you blind?! It’s just some wench! Tie that bitch up!”
The captain swung his baton for emphasis, but none of his men obeyed. They were all completely entranced, staring at the witch with dazed expressions.
“That bitch?”
The witch removed her black fedora.
“Hold this.”
“Yeah.”
She handed it to me. The moment the hat came off, her hair spilled down like silk, releasing a rich, sweet fragrance. The heavy scent of pudding filled the air. As that sugary aroma rode the breeze, the guards closed their eyes and flared their nostrils, breathing it in deeply.
“Haaang…!”
One of them actually moaned out loud. The captain’s face twisted in fury. He cracked his baton over the moaning guard’s skull.
“Haaang? Have you lost your damn mind?!”
The guard clutched his head and crouched, whimpering.
“Are you deaf? Everyone, draw your batons!”
At his order, the guards pulled out their weapons. Even elite guards weren’t allowed to carry real swords while patrolling the market, so batons were all they had. Not that batons would mean anything to the witch anyway. You guys are so screwed.
She looked at the baton-wielding men with open contempt. She started to raise her hand, long nails extending, but caught the warning look I shot her and lowered it again.
Good girl. If she’d used those, her identity would’ve been blown instantly.
“Captain, doesn’t this seem a bit excessive? She’s just a delicate woman.”
One guard, reading the mood, spoke up bravely.
“What? Are you defying me now?”
“N-no, sir. It’s just… there are so many eyes on us.”
“This woman insulted the lord. She has to pay the price.”
“She did? When exactly did she—”
“When? When I say she did, she did! Just tie her up already!”
Unable to resist their captain’s rage, the guards reluctantly closed in around the witch. They didn’t look happy about it.
“We’re sorry, but you’ll have to come with us.”
“Try it. If you can.”
“This is the last time I’ll ask nicely. Come quietly.”
“God, you’re so damn annoying.”
“Restrain her!”
Two guards lunged forward. The witch’s hand flashed. She struck both men in the throat before they could even blink. They collapsed like sacks of rice, unconscious. Thump.
The other guards stared in shock.
“Wh-what the…?”
“We really need to feed them better. They’re dropping like flies.”
“She’s no ordinary woman. Stay alert! Go!”
Five men surrounded her and swung their batons wildly. They sliced nothing but empty air. These were men who had trained in martial arts their entire lives, yet not a single strike landed.
Right. Left. She dodged each one with casual grace.
“Hiyaaah!”
One guard charged straight at her. The witch lightly tapped his wrist. His baton spun like a pinwheel and flew into the sky. She yanked his arm, flipped him over her shoulder, and slammed him into the ground.
“Aaaargh…!”
The guard writhed, clutching his back. Even a burly man like him couldn’t withstand the witch’s monstrous strength.
“I-I couldn’t even see it…”
“She’s too fast…”
The guards faltered, suddenly afraid to get close.
“What the hell are you idiots doing?! There’s only one of her! Stop hesitating and swarm her!”
The captain jabbed their backs, screaming.
The guards regrouped and charged again.
The witch leaped forward, closing the distance in a blink. She grabbed one man’s face and drove him straight into the dirt. The others barely had time to react before she spun and swept another guard’s leg with a brutal low kick. He folded like dry straw. She used his body as a springboard, launching herself into the air and delivering a spinning kick that dropped four men in one go.
In seconds, only a few remained. She locked eyes with them.
“Aren’t you going to kneel?”
Her voice cracked like a whip. The remaining guards flinched. Their fighting spirit had been completely crushed by her overwhelming presence.
“You crazy bitch! I’ll handle you myself!”
The captain stepped forward.
“What an arrogant human.”
“What did you say?”
I told you not to act like a witch!
She stared straight through him. He glared back, refusing to lose the staring contest. After a few tense seconds, the captain suddenly dropped to his knees.
The other guards stared at their captain in disbelief.
“Say it again.”
“I-I’m sorry, Master.”
“What did you do wrong?”
“This lowly one dared to defy you, Master.”
Everyone looked utterly confused. I couldn’t blame them. I was confused too.
“Again.”
“A-again?”
“What else did you do wrong?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I-I’m sorry. I really don’t know.”
The witch walked over to the kneeling captain. She poked his chest with one finger.
“You should know your sins.”
“Please, tell me. I truly don’t understand.”
“Fine. You took what belonged to Allen. What’s Allen’s is mine. So you may as well have stolen from me directly.”
“W-we’ve committed a mortal sin. We didn’t realize!”
“If it’s a sin worthy of death, then die.”
“Please spare us!”
The captain immediately prostrated himself, begging without shame.
“I’ll spare you. But first, hand over everything you have.”
“Everything…?”
“Yes. All of it.”
The captain jumped to his feet and frantically searched his pockets along with the others. They produced a pile of coins totaling more than twenty thousand jeon.
“Search the ones on the ground too.”
Following orders, they emptied the pockets of the unconscious guards as well.
“We’ve collected everything they had!”
The captain smiled brightly as he offered the entire haul to the witch. She accepted it with a satisfied little smile.
“You should’ve done this from the beginning. Allen, take it.”
“Huh? Oh… right.”
I accepted the heavy pouch and stuffed it into my pocket.
“If you ever touch Allen again, you know what happens, right?”
The witch turned and spoke sharply to the captain.
“Of course not! Please take care on your way!”
The captain bowed at a perfect ninety degrees and kept his head lowered until both the witch and I had left the area.
The residents who had witnessed everything began murmuring among themselves.
“What just happened?”
“No idea. But they say the woman next to Allen absolutely destroyed those guards.”
“Really? About time. They’ve been squeezing every last coin out of us.”
“Maybe Allen’s trying to take his old position back?”
“No way.”
The moment the witch and I disappeared from sight, the captain suddenly snapped back to his senses.
“What? Where did those bastards go?”
“What are you talking about, Captain? You gave them the money yourself and sent them off.”
“I did?”
“Yes. You even called her ‘Master’…”
“What the hell are you talking about? Master? I’ll kill you.”
In a fit of rage, the captain slapped his subordinate across the face. The man rubbed his cheek.
“I-it’s true.”
“He’s right, Captain. You really did.”
The other guards nodded in agreement.
“Fuck… What the hell just happened? Was I possessed?”
“More importantly, Captain… The whole market saw us. We look like complete idiots now…”
“Damn it… This is humiliating. I won’t let them get away with this.”
“What are you going to do…?”
“Let’s get out of here first and figure it out later.”
The captain was seething, but with so many eyes still on them, he couldn’t do anything rash. They quickly fled the market square.