The Witch is Weak to Alcohol
The old man had been kneeling for a long time.
“Huh?”
“Are you coming to your senses?”
“What just happened?”
He tried to stand, but cramps must have seized his legs and arms because he groaned in pain. Even after getting up, he wore a completely dazed expression.
You’ll get used to it.
“I don’t want to.”
The old man refused to look at the witch, deliberately avoiding her gaze. He simply sat there, body rigid.
“Right. Old man, do you happen to know anything that’s like jelly but sweet?”
“I want to eat it!”
The moment I mentioned the food the witch was searching for, she began bouncing up and down in her seat. How chaotic. Please, just sit down.
“Something like jelly but sweet? Hmm… what could that be?”
“You old fart! All you’ve done is age and still you know nothing!”
The witch scolded him harshly.
“I’m sorry… I’ve committed a sin worthy of death.”
Ah… so this is what I must have looked like. Poor guy. At least I wasn’t that pathetic.
“Are you going to find out what it is or not?”
“I will definitely find it by tomorrow. Please forgive me.”
“Ugh. Humans really are all the same! Incompetent and weak.”
“S-sorry.”
No manners at all. Stop nagging the old man already.
“I’ll forgive you this once. If you weren’t an old fart, you’d be dead.”
Having said that, the witch went right back to stuffing bread into her mouth. Stop devouring everything. The chair was covered in crumbs. Who did she think was going to clean that up?
Dinner was a whole grilled ox the old man had prepared for us. He’d ordered the butler around like a man possessed until it was bought fresh from the market.
The witch completely lost her mind the moment she saw the white marbling.
“Just look at that pure white, elegant figure. Doesn’t it make your mouth water?”
She actually rubbed her cheek against the meat.
“Why are you drooling over it every single second?”
“You must want to die.”
“Ahem… It does look delicious. That bright red color… must be freshly butchered.”
It had been a long time since I’d seen beef of this quality. Catching a bull like that would easily cost two thousand jeon, and the price varied wildly depending on the grade.
“Eat as much as you want. I prepared it especially for you two.”
“Thank you, old man.”
“This old fart is better than Allen. Allen’s nothing but a broke beggar.”
“You’re the beggar compared to me.”
After everything I spent on you today… If I hadn’t bought that dress, I could have afforded the bull. It hurt that she didn’t appreciate my hard work at all.
“Oh? Acting all tough just because we’re inside the village?”
“Sorry. I’ll lower my voice and sit down.”
I didn’t want to cause any more trouble, so I quickly backed down. Any further and the witch would resort to violence.
“Act up one more time and you’ll be the one on the grill.”
The witch drew a finger across her throat in a clear threat. My legs nearly gave out. I cleared my throat and focused on preparing the meat.
The ribs went onto the grill. Grilling the meat was, of course, my job. The witch was already waiting with fork in hand. Bored, she kept licking the fork, tongue flicking out repeatedly.
“Cook it just a little. Leave some pink in it.”
I know that. Only people who’ve actually eaten good meat understand. I’m basically a meat scholar.
When the blood was just about to disappear, I quickly lifted the ribs onto a plate—only for the witch to open her mouth wide.
“Aaaah~!”
“Still… I should serve the old man first.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you know to respect your elders?”
The witch glanced at the old man, eyes narrowed.
“Do you want respect?”
Did she just mispronounce that on purpose?
“N-no. Please eat first.”
“That’s more like it.”
The witch snatched the ribs right off the tongs. Ugh… I’m so done with this.
I immediately put more meat on the grill. Surprisingly, the old man watched the witch eat with a rather pleased expression.
“You eat so well.”
“It’s delicious.”
“Hehe. Have as much as you like.”
Before long the ribs were gone. Next came the sirloin and tenderloin. I’d barely eaten any ribs myself because I was stuck grilling the whole time.
The witch’s eating speed had finally slowed down noticeably. Thank goodness.
That was when the old man rummaged around and pulled something out.
“I’m not sure if you drink, but…”
What he produced was wine. Judging by the deep color, it had been aged at least ten years.
“Old man, where did you get such expensive wine…”
“How could I possibly stay quiet when the witch herself has graced us with her presence!”
“Since when were you so welcoming?”
In such a short time, the doctor’s attitude had done a complete one-eighty. I had no idea what she’d done to him. It was like she was controlling him.
“Is it good?”
The witch looked rather unenthusiastic. Well, she probably had never tried wine before.
“I’m not sure if it will suit your taste, but would you like to savor it?”
The old man poured just half a small glass.
“Hmm. The color is pretty.”
She swirled the glass and sniffed. After a few sniffs, she stuck out her tongue and took a sip.
“Mmm?”
Her eyes sparkled. Apparently it was to her liking, because she downed the rest in one shot.
“It’s sweet! More!”
She kept refilling the glass to the brim and gulping it down. By the time the meat had run out, a heavy silence had fallen.
The witch’s head drooped. She didn’t say a word.
“Witch? You okay?”
I poked her head with a finger. No response. Her head lolled weakly to the side.
She’s drunk…
Only then did I sit down and finally eat some meat myself.
“Phew… now I can actually eat. Old man, pour me a glass too.”
The old man’s hands trembled as he filled my glass to the brim. He seemed pretty drunk himself.
“Mmm~ The aroma is incredible.”
“Right? After a few glasses I feel all warm and fuzzy.”
“That strong? Must be high in alcohol.”
“Very. She drank more than a whole bottle, so of course the witch would get drunk.”
“You’ve decided to call her ‘Lady’ now?”
“…Did I say that?”
“You did.”
He’s definitely drunk.
“But what could it be?”
“What?”
“That jelly-like sweet thing. I know something similar…”
“What is it?”
“Isn’t it pudding?”
“Pudding? …Yeah, that is pretty close.”
“See?”
“Actually, I thought of something else.”
“What?”
“The name’s fuzzy, but when I was really little, my mother used to give me snacks. One of them was similar.”
“Not pudding?”
“No. What was it… It was soft and sweet. Kon…nyak? Fruit konjac jelly. Yes! Jelly!”
“That sounds plausible. Then we can just go to the market tomorrow.”
“Will they have it?”
“I’m not sure. I never really liked that stuff.”
I finally had a decent idea of what the witch was looking for. Pudding and fruit jelly. Those two were the strongest candidates. I’d have to search early tomorrow.
The old man must have been tired—or drunk—because he stretched out on the long wooden bench and passed out. Guess he’s another alcohol lightweight.
I poured the rest of the wine into my glass and sipped it while watching the witch doze.
She sleeps so peacefully.
I was staring when she suddenly lifted her head.
“Hmm. Where are we?”
“Huh? The outdoor garden, obviously…”
“I’m sleepy.”
She yanked my thigh closer and used my knee as a pillow, lying down. Oh boy.
The sensation of the witch’s head on my thigh was… distracting.
“The hat’s uncomfortable…”
She frowned. I quickly removed the black fedora. Then she scooted even higher up my thigh. Whoa… that area’s dangerous.
“Your leg is warm.”
“I-is it?”
“Have you thought about what I said…?”
“The jelly-like sweet thing?”
“Yeah… you have to find it.”
“I thought of a few possibilities. But can I ask one thing?”
“Mmm… what…?”
“Why are you looking for it? Did you remember it because it tastes good?”
“Puuu…”
The witch let out a long sigh. The scent of wine rose with it—subtle, fragrant grapes that somehow made the mood feel strangely intimate.
She brushed the hair stuck to her cheek behind her ear. Her ear and the elegant line of her neck filled my vision.
“Dad…”
“Dad?”
“Every time Dad came… he brought it… for us…”
“Ah… father-in-law…”
“Father-in… what’s father-in-law…?”
“N-nothing.”
“Do that for me… the thing where you stroke my hair like this…”
“Uh… okay.”
Puu… puuu… I gently stroked her hair while she was too drunk to think straight. Her expression remained calm. Alcohol seemed to make her surprisingly docile. She didn’t threaten me at all.
“Was your father a good man?”
“Father… father… humans are… weak. Weak and irresponsible…”
“That’s only because witches are too strong.”
“Humans… lie so well. Weak… and irresponsible…”
“…Did something happen between you and your father?”
“Witches… aren’t strong. Witches are weak too… unhappy… pitiful… we’re only ever used by them…”
She couldn’t finish her sentence before falling asleep. She kept repeating that humans were weak, over and over.
I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. What did she really mean? Probably just drunken nonsense.
Still… damn, she was beautiful. Being able to look at her this closely felt like a blessing. Her hair was so soft, her features looked like they’d been sculpted by an artist. Ki-kiss… I must be losing my mind. The alcohol hit me like a splash of cold water. What the hell was I thinking? This girl was nothing but a violent witch. The same witch who had been bossing me around and looking down on me just moments ago. Get a grip.
Shwoong—
Suddenly a strong wind kicked up. Because of it, we needed to head inside the mansion.
I tried shaking the witch awake, but she wouldn’t stir. Grunting with effort, I lifted her. Using every ounce of strength I had, I barely managed to carry her inside.
As I climbed the stairs, she shifted in my arms and wrapped both around my neck. Then her eyes slowly opened.
“Dad…”
“Yes?”
She suddenly pulled my neck down and pressed her lips to my cheek.
“Wha—?”
As if nothing had happened, she settled back down and fell asleep again.
I stood frozen on the stairs, completely stunned. My anxious eyes seemed to answer for me: That was a lie. I must be really drunk.