The Hero Wears Suspenders
He swiped up on his smartphone screen. Videos flicked by in the display. Buried deep in his bed, he scrolled through Nutube, rummaging for something to watch. Nothing worth seeing, huh.
[Views: 5 Million] National Savior Hero Kang Tae-ho: Summary of His Bloody Two-Year Saga!
He furrowed his brow. He tapped the three dots in the top right corner of the video. Not interested. He swiped up again.
[Live Hot Clip] National Daughter's Gangnam Station Outfit Breakdown! What Brand's That Sky Blue Dress?
This time, he didn't hesitate—he hit Don't recommend channel. Those recka channels peddling his dark history had turned his algorithm into a dumpster. Nothing good to watch at all. He yawned lazily.
—Bang.
The door flew open without warning.
"Oppa! What're you doing? Get out here, quick!"
It was Kang Hae-eun, the twenty-eight-year-old corporate drone at a major firm. Keeping his eyes glued to his phone screen, he replied.
"Breathing. Close the door and leave."
"Ugh, the weather's insane today! It's the weekend—gonna hole up at home? Let's go shopping!"
"No. Too annoying."
He pulled the blanket up to his chin. Hae-eun strode over and yanked it away.
In terms of raw strength, he could fold this apartment in half with a single finger. But using mana on family? No way in hell. He let himself get dragged along without resistance.
"Argh, seriously! I got reamed by my boss at work this week—I'm stressed out of my mind! Heal me up, oppa!"
"What do you want me to do about it."
He flicked his right index and middle fingers lightly.
—Snap.
A crisp friction sound rang out, and the desk drawer slid open smoothly. A black plastic card buried inside floated up, wrapped in blue mana. The black card. After the gate crisis ended, the state had shoved this unlimited corporate card at him: Swipe away.
He manipulated the mana flow. The card spun in the air and thwacked Hae-eun's forehead.
"Take this and go. Buy luxury bags, swap your car—whatever. Just don't call me and go alone."
Hae-eun caught the black card reverently with both hands. Her lips trembled, stretched ear-to-ear.
"Whoa! As expected of our family pillar! Form's insane!"
She bolted for the living room without a backward glance. Salvation. He pulled the blanket back over himself.
He was just about to resume the anime he'd been watching when—
"Mom!! Oppa gave me the card!! Hurry and dress him up!!"
Hae-eun's wicked shout echoed from the living room. A chill ran down his spine. The door opened again.
"Our little puppy! Let's go shopping!"
It was his mother, Lee Yeon-sook. Beaming brightly, she approached the bed and slipped her hands under his armpits.
Whoosh.
His body lifted into the air. An S-rank hunter of Korea, and yet before Mom, he was just a stuffed doll.
"Mom... I gave the card to Hae-eun. You two go have fun..."
"We gotta buy clothes for our baby daughter too! You gonna live in those drab training pants forever?"
Hae-eun smirked from behind him, thrusting a hanger forward. A yellow checkered shirt. And knee-length cute denim overalls.
"Oppa, I reserved these new arrivals on the department store app yesterday—they're adorable, right? Today's coord is definitely this."
Suspenders on a thirty-two-year-old ajusshi soul. He scowled deeply.
"Not wearing it. I'd die first. Rather close an A-rank gate right now."
"Oh, Tae-ho. It's so pretty—come on, arms in."
Mom grabbed his arms and forced them through. He lacked even the energy to resist. With a deep sigh, he gave in.
Snapping monster necks with mana was child's play, but beating these two with logic? Impossible on this planet. He shoved his arms into the shirt sleeves. Hae-eun meticulously buttoned the overall straps.
He checked the full-length mirror. A kindergartener headed on a field trip stood there, cheeks puffed out. Reality hit hard.
It was the underground parking lot of a massive Gangnam department store. He climbed out of his sister's SUV. The VVIP-exclusive elevator glided up and opened on the top floor. A personal shopper room no ordinary person could even enter.
Plush leather sofas and premium marble floors. Mom and Hae-eun were already lost in the new arrivals wheeled in on racks by the staff. He crammed himself into a corner of the sofa and slurped orange juice.
"Tae-ho! Look at this! This lace hat would be perfect for our puppy!"
"Uh... do whatever."
He muttered soullessly. How much time passed? Shopping bags piled up like a mountain beside him. He couldn't endure this suffocating space any longer.
"Gonna hit the bathroom real quick."
He made an excuse and slipped out of the VVIP room. To kill the boredom, he took the escalator up a few floors. It was the special level for hunter gear and weapons. Better for his mental health to browse weapons than watch the women shop.
He entered a fairly large weapon shop. Swords and spears gleamed in display cases, alongside armor crafted from monster bones and hides. His yellow checkered shirt and overalls clashed horribly with the vibe.
"Hey, kiddo. Lost? This place sells dangerous stuff."
A store clerk in a black suit approached. He looked up at the man impassively.
"Not a kid. Here to browse weapons."
The clerk peered at his face closely, then gasped.
"K-Kang Tae-ho Hunter?!"
The man's back bent ninety degrees. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead.
"S-Sorry! Didn't recognize you in civilian clothes!"
"Whatever. Got any noteworthy new gear? Something decent."
Flustered, the clerk pointed to the center display.
"Ah! This greatsword forged from the fangs of an A-rank boss monster subjugated in Africa..."
"Just heavy."
"Th-Then how about this mana-amplifying staff..."
"Said in interviews three times I don't use wands."
The clerk went mute. He slowly scanned the displayed weapons. All garbage.
Nothing sharper than the slashes from his compressed mana. No magic tool with more destructive power than the mana orbs he'd seen in webtoons, raining down like bombs. The animation techniques he imagined in his head were thousands of times stronger than these toys. Interest waned.
"Thanks anyway. Nothing worth buying."
He left without lingering. Heading back down the escalator to his family, a commotion erupted from the central plaza.
People held up their smartphones, snapping away at one spot. He turned his gaze. A massive electronic billboard covering the plaza wall flashed brightly. On it played an ultra-beauty girl in a yellow checkered shirt and overalls, standing stiffly with an awkward expression.
It was the test shot Hae-eun had taken in the VVIP room just minutes ago.
"......"
His brain short-circuited. What? What the hell is this?
"Oppa!! Whaddya think? Epic, right!!"
Hae-eun came bounding up excitedly from behind.
"You... what the fuck is this shit."
"Heh, I casually asked the personal shopper earlier. Said you'd model their new store arrival in exchange for putting it on the billboard. Their promo team freaked—free use of your likeness, insane publicity. Upper floors are going nuts!"
This crazy bitch. A vein bulged on his forehead.
"Take it down. Now. Or else."
"Why! Wasting that face is a national loss! You never go out 'cause you're lazy, so I'll spread the divine visage to the people! It's fan service!"
Her logic was utterly rotten. He clenched his fist. Seriously considering compressing mana to dice that billboard into perfect cubes. But then he saw Mom gazing up at it, beaming.
"Our puppy looks like a real celebrity on that huge screen! So pretty!"
Hah. He slowly released the tension in his fist. A deep sigh escaped. Couldn't win against family.
The reason he could mooch in this penthouse without lifting a finger—never going hungry—was thanks to these two taking perfect care of him.
"Do whatever. But tonight, top-tier sushi set delivered. No exceptions."
"Deal! On the company card!"
Hae-eun skipped ahead humming. The crowd recognized him, snapping photos and cheering. He ducked his head, shoved his hands in the overall pockets, and hurried after.
On the drive home. Crammed in the SUV backseat, he turned on his smartphone. A live stream topped Nutube's algorithm.
[Live] Major Guild 'Blue Dragon': C-Rank Variant Gate Subjugation Op!
On screen, five heavily armored hunters battled hulking orc variants. The tank held his shield, but one club swing sent him skidding back, formation crumbling. Total mess. The ranged DPS was casting spells at snail pace even with monsters in their faces.
"Tch tch."
He clicked his tongue unbidden.
"Hunters these days are soft, total softies. Formation like that? Tilt the shield fifteen degrees more to deflect—don't tank it head-on and flop."
Dry boomer rants spilled out. Two years ago. Snatching two hours of shut-eye daily, crawling the frontlines through hell. Back then, C-rank trash got their skulls caved by mana-wrapped fists.
"Back in my day, no shield—just bare body, ripping spines out. These kids lack that hunger spirit. No resolve as hunters, no resolve."
Hae-eun, at the wheel, shot him a glare in the rearview.
"Ugh, our ajusshi. Boomer latte talk again. You're the abnormal one, oppa. That's their best."
"Slacking like that, a wave hits and that party's corpses."
He shut off the stream. Too frustrating and pathetic to watch. No wonder I can't rest easy. An S- or A-rank pops up, and that old man'd call begging for rescue. Just thinking tired him out.
The familiar apartment came into view outside the window. Finally back at the penthouse. He burst through the door, stripping off the overalls and checkered shirt. Slipped into his baggy gray training pants. Feels like living again.
"Don't bug me till the sushi arrives."
He laid down the law firmly to Hae-eun and Mom. Slammed the door and dove into bed. The plush mattress enveloped him.
He pulled the tablet stand to eye level. Opened the anime playlist he'd paused. Hit play. The protagonist on screen raised a glowing sword, roaring. His lips quirked up faintly.
"Yeah. This is life."
Doing nothing, rolling around in pointless time. This muggy peace was the best. To protect it—even monsters disrupting his convalescence would get sliced the moment they appeared.
Eyes half-closed, he stared at the tablet screen.