A 32-Year-Old Man's Women's Bath Experience
He sprawled out on the bed like a starfish. With his right hand, he tossed a red orb into the air and caught it, over and over.
Thud, thud.
The smooth texture clung perfectly to his palm. It was the trophy he'd claimed after killing the starfish yokai. A refined energy, so pure and hot it bordered on unpleasant.
He injected a tiny thread of mana from his fingertip. Inside the orb, red liquid swirled, sucking in his mana like a sponge. No rejection—just perfect fusion. It meant that even this monster byproduct shared the exact same root as the energy he wielded.
A yokai straight out of Eastern legends, bursting from a gate. And this alien orb. Questions piled up one after another.
That's when it happened. His smartphone, tossed by the bedside, erupted in a shrill ring. The vibration rattled the mattress. The screen showed Park Jin-cheol, Hunter Association President. He hit the call button.
"Old man. What."
-Hahaha! Incredible, Kang Tae-ho! Who'd have thought you'd cross into China as a mercenary for Korea's sake!
The president's boisterous voice boomed through the receiver. Annoyance washed over him. He pulled the phone slightly away from his ear.
"Don't get the wrong idea. Never used the country as an excuse. I went to protect my dinner table and pry that absolute family protection law out of their hands."
-Aw, come on, same old story. You think I don't know you after all this time? You grumble on the outside, but deep down, no one loves this country more. The news was blowing up!
Stubborn old coot. Wouldn't listen to a word. Interpreted everything his way and laughed heartily. With a sigh, he cut him off.
"I'm busy. Get to the point. Why'd you call."
-Ahem. It's about that monster you took down in China. Mind sharing its traits and combat data?
"Data?"
-Yeah. Who knows when another freak like that pops out of a gate. Gotta prep countermeasures. Can't leave it all on you.
Not wrong. A yokai from Eastern lore had crawled out of a gate. No guarantee there wouldn't be more.
"Sigh. Fine. I'll compile everything—steel-munching, infinite regen habits, weak only to extreme heat flames—and email it."
-Thanks! You're a rock. How about drinks tonight to celebrate—
"Not falling for it. Staying home breathing today. Hang up."
-Aw, tsk. Alright. Good work. Rest up—we'll grab one next time.
Call ended. He chucked the phone back into the bed corner. Fidgeting with the red orb in his hand, he stared blankly at the ceiling.
Knock knock.
The door opened with the knock. His mother, Lee Yeon-sook, stepped in.
"My little puppy. Busy today?"
She sat on the bed's edge, naturally stroking his belly.
"Nah. Planning to stay lying down."
"Good."
A thick smile spread across her face. But it sent a chill down his spine for some reason.
"You made my heart skip with worry, running off to dangerous China. Time for a little punishment."
"Punishment?"
A bad premonition flashed. He tried to sit up, but too late. She slipped her hands under his armpits and hoisted him up effortlessly.
"M-Mom?"
Humming a tune, she carried him to the living room. There stood Kang Hae-eun, changed into outing clothes. In her hand: a pink plastic basket. Shampoo, body wash, colorful Italian towels.
A bath basket. His eyes trembled faintly. No way. He cautiously looked up at his mom.
"You don't mean... no, right...?"
She nodded firmly, still cradling him.
"That's right, my little puppy."
Her gentle smile looked merciless today. Hae-eun rattled the basket and grinned obnoxiously.
"Hurry up. Bought a rough towel just to scrub your back today."
In front of the large sauna in the neighborhood mall. He halted under the red sign pointing to the women's bath entrance. Desperately resisting at the shoe lockers.
"This is seriously no."
He whispered as low as possible in protest.
"What'll people think? My looks might be like this, but inside I'm a pitch-black 32-year-old man!"
Logical, valid refusal. But it fell on deaf ears.
"Ugh! Quit yapping!"
Hae-eun smacked his back and shoved him forward roughly.
"Who sees you as a 32-year-old guy? You're just a silver-haired elementary kid! No more whining—get in."
With a deep sigh, he was dragged into the women's changing room.
Hot steam hit him. The humid air and soap scent unique to public baths. Feeling like a cow led to slaughter, he yanked off his T-shirt. His tiring weekend afternoon melted into the heat.
Stripped bare, he was pulled into the bath. He squatted on the small yellow plastic stool. Tiny for normal adults, but a perfect fit for his current size—like a custom sofa.
"Arms up."
His mom donned a rough green Italian towel and commanded. No energy to resist. He mechanically raised both arms high. Her merciless hands slid from armpits to sides.
"Oof, look at this dead skin, my puppy. All that China dust embedded in your pores."
Wrong. His mana barrier kept even fine dust away. Just normal human dead skin. But her rough strokes didn't stop. His tiny body flipped like a paper doll with each touch.
"Oppa, head down."
Hae-eun poured a ladle of hot water over his crown.
Whoosh—!
Eyes squeezed shut. Foamy shampoo roughly massaged his silver locks.
"Seriously, your skin's insane up close. Whiter than most lady celebs."
Hae-eun whispered teasingly while scrubbing. No reply. Opening his mouth meant soap water.
"Oh! Yeon-sook! Is that who I think it is?!"
A sharp high-pitched voice pierced the steam. The group of neighborhood aunties scrubbing nearby swarmed over.
"No way—that hero from the news yesterday? Kang Tae-ho the hunter, right?"
"Aigoo, way tinier in person! Like a doll, a doll!"
Surrounded by five naked aunties. Eyes stabbed from all sides. Shame? Evaporated in his first awakening year. Just the situation itself was exhaustingly tedious.
"Here, eat this, hero! Bet your bones are worn from saving the country!"
One shoved a peeled boiled egg to his lips. Another handed him a yogurt with a straw. Refusing would drag it out. He opened wide, munched the egg. Gulped down the yogurt to clear his throat.
"Good eater, so cute."
"Hey, my grandson's a huge fan—could you sign something later...?"
His mom jumped in at the excessive request.
"Aigoo, she's tired from China. Gotta scrub before the dead skin softens."
She deftly shooed them away. Hae-eun clutched her sides laughing. No black card loans to her for a while.
"Alright, now into the bath to soak the rest."
Mom's permission granted. He stood, headed to the hot tub. Splash splash. Stepped down into the water.
Sternum-deep for average women. But sitting on the bottom, water lapped at his chin. On tiptoes, nose barely above, he savored the warmth.
"Fuu."
Hot waves enveloped him. Fatigue melting away bit by bit. From the corner, two neighborhood girls splashed toward him, mischief on their faces, spraying water at him.
Tiresome. He deployed a hair-thin mana barrier in front of his face. Droplets bounced off a centimeter away. Amazed it didn't touch, the kids giggled and splashed harder. Perfect defense. Go ahead, tire yourselves out.
An hour of brutal punishment ended. In the changing room, he toweled off. Thanks to mom's ruthless Italian towel assault, his whole body glowed red. He slipped into fresh baggy training clothes.
Ruffled his hair with the towel, headed for the exit. His nape was suddenly grabbed.
"Where you sneaking off. C'mere."
Hae-eun. She dragged him to the powder room mirror. Plopped him on the round stool at the vanity—his toes dangled in the air.
"Wet hair means cold. Sit still."
She grabbed two hairdryers.
Vreeee—!
Hot blasts hammered his scalp from both sides. Silver strands whipped wildly. Eyes half-closed, he endured.
Mirror showed him: fluffy red cheeks, dazed red eyes. A perfectly resigned doll sat there. Then mom approached, opening her cosmetics pouch.
"My puppy, how damaged must your skin be from that dry China. Gotta slather on moisturizer."
"Mom, my barrier kept it from drying—"
Smack! Smack!
Her palms clapped his cheeks, smearing cream thickly. Perfect timing stole his retort. Cool, sticky lotion coated forehead, chin, nose tip meticulously. Her palms swept up and down his face mercilessly.
"Oppa, head down. Back of head's not dry."
Hae-eun pressed his crown. Ruthless skincare and drying tag-team. Utter helplessness, no will to resist.
"Ooh, look at that glow. Like a peeled egg."
Mom pinched his shiny cheek, satisfied. Sis set down the dryer, combed his hair smooth.
"Done. Let's go."
The doll play finally ended. Face gleaming with nutrient cream. Deep sigh, hopped off the stool.
Out the bathhouse door. Cool night air filled his lungs. Hae-eun shoved a cold, chubby banana milk into his hand.
Straw in, one sip. Sweetness danced on his tongue. Definitely refreshing. Body light as a feather. But mental energy scraped the bottom.
He gazed at mom and sis walking ahead. Mom's steps lighter than leaving the penthouse. Her worries fully washed away after checking his flushed skin herself.
Drained the banana milk. Tossed the empty bottle into the trash with a flick.
He resolved: Avoid dangerous stuff that'd worry mom as much as possible. Not from guilt.
The agony of flesh tearing on the battlefield paled compared to this punishment—naked in the neighborhood bath, surrounded by aunties, force-fed boiled eggs. Hundreds of times more horrific and annoying. For his own peaceful, comfy rest, he had to play it safe. No question.