The Hero's Perfect Fire Control
The hero lay sprawled across the living room sofa, perfectly regulating the fire. On the TV screen, a weekend comedy show was in full swing. Burly comedians wearing ridiculous wigs tumbled around in slapstick antics. He reached out, grabbed a potato chip from the bowl on the table, and popped it into his mouth. Crunch. The salty seasoning spread across his tongue. Cool air from the AC. The perfect idle afternoon life.
"Oppa! Oppa, did you see this?"
Kang Hae-eun burst out of her room and thrust her smartphone screen right in his face. What a pain. Frowning, he glanced at it. It looked like some outdoor plaza. Hundreds of middle-aged men were gathered, holding up banners.
NATIONAL BALDNESS ASSOCIATION - PRAISE ASSEMBLY FOR HUNTER KANG TAE-HO, SAVIOR WHO BESTOWED LIGHT
A grand, solemn voice boomed from the speakers.
The uncles in the plaza wiped away tears in unison, shouting hurrahs. Some prostrated themselves on the ground, bowing deeply toward the direction of his penthouse.
"......"
He couldn't help but chuckle in disbelief. Chewing and swallowing the potato chip, he let out a scoff.
"Wow. Uncles not resting at home on their day off and doing all sorts of weird stuff."
"You're laughing right now? This won't cause problems later? Like some cult worshiping you."
Hae-eun turned off the screen, looking anxious. He scratched his forehead and sat up on the sofa.
"Hey. Don't worry about it. That's kid stuff."
"Kid stuff? They're acting like total fanatics."
"When I was spinning my wheels on the front lines, there were way worse people than that everywhere."
Hae-eun's eyes widened at his dry response.
"You know my awakener name is Magical Girl, right."
"...Yeah."
Hae-eun glanced at his tiny frame, her voice shrinking. He continued indifferently, munching another chip.
"While I was slicing up monster pups on the battlefield, refugees in the rear were calling me the fairy of salvation or whatever, praying with magic wand merch."
"Ah..."
"The damn system forced this on an adult man, but people treat it like some divine blessing. Compared to that, those bald uncles being dramatic is actually pure and tame."
Hae-eun fell silent at his dry explanation. She'd seen the news footage of him drenched in blood, butchering monsters. Now understanding his detachment from this body, she averted her gaze awkwardly.
"W-well, if you're okay with it, then fine."
Hae-eun grabbed her phone and slipped back into her room. He lay back down on the sofa. 8 PM. His mother came into the living room and switched the channel to the main news.
"Wow, they must have zero real news to air this crap."
He grabbed the remote and flipped channels without hesitation. On a cable broadcast, an anime played where the protagonist slashed villains with a sword. This has a hundred times more value. His mother sat beside him, handing him a fruit fork.
"Our little puppy hit real-time search #1 again thanks to those uncles. Must be tiring."
"Let 'em be. It'll blow over in a few days."
He brushed it off casually, chewing a melon slice.
—Drring, slam!
Then, the front door burst open like it might break. His father, who'd gone out early for morning soccer with his buddies, huffed in carrying two massive styrofoam boxes under his arms.
"Dad's home!"
The entryway sensor light flicked on. His father's face glowed brighter than ever. Especially the jet-black hair, styled like a lion's mane with morning hair wax, shining glossily. He plunked the boxes down in the middle of the living room.
"Honey! Tae-ho! Hae-eun! Family meeting in the living room—now!"
Hae-eun poked her head out from her room at his booming voice. Father planted hands on hips and declared triumphantly.
"The morning soccer ajusshis all flipped seeing my hair! They said I look rejuvenated, demanded I take president right away! All thanks to our Tae-ho!"
"So. What's with the boxes."
As he half-rose from the sofa to ask, Father ripped open the tape with flair.
"Hanwoo double-horn flower sirloin and short loin! Dad was so hyped, I cleaned out the department store butcher section! Family BBQ on the terrace tonight!"
Mother burst out laughing at the mountain of meat boxes.
"Oh my, you can't be stopped. What, did you slaughter a whole cow for four people? Won't even fit in the fridge."
"Haha! Leftover? We'll throw a neighborhood party! A whole cow's nothing when my lost 20 years of youth are back! Hae-eun! Set up the grill on the terrace quick!"
The house erupted in cheerful chaos. Mother smacked his back but smiled. He couldn't help smirking. This kind of racket isn't bad. He stood, stretching.
The penthouse's wide outdoor terrace overlooked Seoul's dazzling nightscape perfectly. Hae-eun bustled setting the table with lettuce, garlic, and ssamjang. Father grunted in the corner, pouring charcoal into the camping grill and fumbling with a torch.
"Aigoo, why won't this charcoal catch? Damp or something."
Flames from the torch just swirled in the air; the charcoal stayed dead black. Father wiped sweat from his brow and glanced at him.
"Tae-ho."
"Yeah."
"Our boy. Can you spark this up a bit?"
Blackened charcoal. Father's sweaty back flailing uselessly. A gust blew ash everywhere; Mother and Hae-eun coughed, frowning. At this rate, they'd choke on smoke before grilling.
He sighed shortly and shuffled over in slippers.
"You want me to play human torch right now."
"C'mon, son! Family BBQ, show off a little! Bet it'll taste different if you grill."
Father's fluffy hair fluttered in the wind, grinning innocently. Absurd, but facing the family's expectant eyes before the meat mountain, he couldn't bluntly refuse.
"Ugh, fine. Move aside, ash is flying."
He snatched the torch, tossed it aside, and stepped right up to the grill.
Raised his right hand over it. Condensed mana at his fingertips. Attribute conversion. Flame.
Perfect combustion. Charcoal temperature: 800°C optimal for grilling.
—Fwoosh!
With a finger snap, crimson flames engulfed the dead charcoal entirely. In one second, it hit the perfect 800°C for grilling. Flawless burn—no smoke. Not even 0.1% flare or ash. This was true fire control from a magical girl with 100% mana efficiency.
"Whoa! Insane!"
Hae-eun clapped and cheered beside him. Father excitedly slapped on the grate and piled it with ruby-red flower sirloin.
Sizzle—!
The meat hit the grate with a heavenly sound, meaty aroma exploding. He squatted by the grill, fine-tuning mana with his fingers. Crispy exterior, juices locked inside—holding the coals at a precise 250°C.
"Wasn't Dad grilling? Why am I tongs-and-all controlling the fire."
"Oppa, focus! Fire control is life. Don't burn the pricey stuff!"
Hae-eun just nagged, holding an empty plate. Then Mother approached, draping something over his neck.
"Our baby, can't get meat smell on you. Wear this."
He looked down. Pink lace-trimmed bunny apron. Even a cute pocket.
"......"
Dignity draining in real time.
"Done! Tae-ho, you first!"
Father snipped a big short loin piece and popped it in his mouth. He chewed. Buttery fat melting, deep charcoal smokiness hitting the tongue. Delicious. Anger melting away—perfect flavor.
"Good, right? Family stays healthy, Oppa keeps lounging like a NEET forever! Cheers!"
Hae-eun held out a paper cup of cola. Father with beer can, Mother with wine glass—clinking and laughing. He reluctantly lifted his cola, tapping lightly.
Top-grade hanwoo piled like mountains on the table. His mana perfectly grilling on the grate. Below the terrace, Gangnam's skyline twinkled peacefully.
A landscape unimaginable in that muddy hell where his bones crushed, ripping an imugi's jaw apart. Cultists raising billions or politicians tiptoeing around him? Didn't matter.
"Mom, wrap me some lettuce. Two pieces of meat."
"Sure. Eat up, our puppy."
Mother stuffed a huge ssam into his mouth. Cheeks puffed, he gazed at the night sky, chewing.
Bunny apron, human torch duty. Not bad. No matter how the world spins. As long as he could protect this tiring, noisy family table, fiddling mana control was something he could do forever.
The profoundly languid, peaceful weekend evening deepened.