Chapter 66
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 66
Ga-hyeon bit his lower lip hard as he stared at her.
In truth. In the very depths of his heart…
Ga-hyeon knew. He knew that his mother had never wanted to leave them.
He knew because he had seen it. He remembered the tears she shed that night while she held him in her arms and lulled him to sleep.
Despite that, the reason he had drawn a cold line between them, telling himself she had abandoned him, was nothing more than a young child’s tantrum.
“…You have no idea. How… with what heart… I waited for you.”
His voice broke as he spat the words out at her.
“Even after you left like that, I believed you when you said you’d be back soon. I waited for you every single day.”
Ga-hyeon felt his voice trembling pathetically, but the words he had suppressed for so long came pouring out before he could compose himself.
“But in the end, you left us. You left us for good.”
Seven years. It was a mountain of resentment and sorrow that had been piled up for seven long years.
“You abandoned Father and us just because of some stupid clan duty!”
These were emotions that should have been released long ago. Because they hadn't been, they had condensed into something sharper, burrowing into his skin and gouging at his wounds.
“And after all that, the first thing you say when you see me is ‘It’s been a long time’? You ask if I’ve been well?”
After realizing his mother wasn't coming back, Ga-hyeon had grown up quickly.
He had no choice.
He felt that only by becoming an adult could he forget the void she had left behind.
“Do you… do you really think I’ve been well? After you left, how do you think I…”
But no matter how much he mimicked an adult, an eleven-year-old boy could never truly be one.
In the end, he was just a child who couldn't forget his mother…
“I… hic… I spent the whole time… uugh… resenting you and missing you. Not for a single moment did I stop… hic… hating you… and hating you again…”
The tears that had been welling up finally overflowed, bursting from his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Hyeon-ah. I’m so sorry. It’s all Mama’s fault.”
Cheong-ha knelt before him. She wiped the corners of the boy’s eyes with her sleeve, apologizing over and over in a mournful voice.
As she did, her own face was drenched with tears.
“Why do you keep… why do you only say you’re sorry? Why won't you give me even a simple excuse…!”
Ga-hyeon shouted through his sobs, clenching his teeth.
He knew there were many things she could say to justify herself.
Yet, he couldn't understand why she simply accepted his resentment without offering a single excuse.
“Because no excuse can justify why I left you. It was entirely my fault.”
Cheong-ha looked at the boy, her eyes curved in a sorrowful arc.
“I thought of you every moment, too. Not for a single second did I stop, Hyeon-ah.”
At that confession, Ga-hyeon’s tear-filled eyes shook violently.
“You… you kept thinking of me?”
Ga-hyeon asked, his throat bobbing painfully as he swallowed.
“Yes. Every day. Every moment I drew breath.”
“Did you… miss me too?”
“I missed you. So, so much.”
Cheong-ha replied with a faint smile.
“I wanted to run to you every single day. It broke my heart that I couldn't…”
She had spent so much time in agony that, if she could, she would have drained every drop of the direct lineage blood that flowed through her veins.
“Then, you also… you also…”
Ga-hyeon couldn't finish his question, his voice trailing off.
But Cheong-ha, sensing what he wanted to ask, smiled tenderly and answered.
“I love you. I love you very, very much, Hyeon-ah.”
Throughout those long years, as he waited for the mother who wouldn't return, those might have been the words he wanted to hear most.
Soon, Ga-hyeon’s shoulders began to heave, and he finally burst into loud, child-like wails.
Cheong-ha pulled the boy, who was crying his heart out in his mother’s arms for the first time in seven years, into a tight embrace.
* * *
“Actually, I never stopped waiting for you.”
Ga-hyeon lay on the bed, clutching Cheong-ha’s hand tightly as he quietly recounted the past.
He told her how much he had looked forward to it when he heard she was coming last year.
But on the other hand, he had felt so petulant that he had intentionally locked his door.
Then, after his growing pains ended and his senses returned, he had regretted it deeply when he realized she had already left.
Because he didn't want to admit those feelings, he had lied to himself and resented her even more.
“I shouldn't have done that…”
His voice gradually grew softer until, eventually, Ga-hyeon drifted off to sleep.
Cheong-ha sat by the dark bedside, watching him with a gentle smile.
Her sorrowful, light-purple eyes looked sadly at the boy’s swollen eyelids.
Eleven years old…
He had grown so much. When she left, she never imagined she wouldn't be able to return until he was this big.
Throb—
A sharp pang radiated from her Spirit Core.
In truth, her condition had been poor ever since she left the Land of the Blue Dragon, but she had been forcing herself to endure.
It was nearly time for her to return.
‘I’ve only just managed to tell you how I feel…’
Just then, she heard the rustle of a presence behind her.
“I’m glad it went well.”
At the low voice, Cheong-ha turned around. Sa-eon was standing there.
The two of them stepped outside together and walked through the garden in silence for a long while.
It was Cheong-ha who finally broke the quiet.
“Actually, So-ya helped me.”
“The Cotton Ball?”
Sa-eon narrowed his eyes and asked back at the unexpected name.
“Yes.”
Cheong-ha nodded with a faint smile.
Earlier that evening, before So-ya went to see Ga-hyeon, she had sought out Cheong-ha first.
[You know, Lady Cheong-ha. When I was six, I was abandoned by my family. But even so, I waited every single day for my father and brothers to come back for me.]
[Even though I knew they wouldn't come, I kept waiting. I waited for them to come back and say they were sorry, and that they loved me.]
[Hyeon-yi brother is probably still waiting, too.]
[I’m so sorry for asking this of you. But my brother is still a child, and you are an adult, Lady Cheong-ha…]
[So, couldn't you go to him first and tell him? Tell him you’re sorry for leaving him behind. But that you love him very much.]
[While I was living alone in the Cold Palace, those were the words I waited for the most.]
Little So-ya, only nine years old and yet to experience her First Growth.
She had calmly shared her own painful past and made that request.
In that moment, Cheong-ha realized what a cowardly and immature adult she had been.
Even while lingering by the boy’s side, she hadn't been able to say the most important words: that she was sorry, and that she loved him.
She had selfishly told herself that apologizing would only reopen the child’s wounds.
But in reality, perhaps she had been afraid of her own wounds, not his.
She shouldn't have done that. She shouldn't have smiled and greeted him as if nothing had happened.
‘To think I didn't know what even nine-year-old So-ya knew. I’ve truly failed as a mother.’
Despite that, Ga-hyeon had taken her lacking hand once more.
How precious that small hand felt as it held onto her.
Tears threatened to fall again at the memory of his touch.
It wasn't just Ga-hyeon.
There was the eldest, Ga-ya, who had spoken as if he already understood her even though he was only eight at the time.
And the third, Ga-yul, who was so young he didn't even understand what it meant to be separated from his mother.
And…
Cheong-ha glanced up at Sa-eon.
A man with snow-white hair and blue eyes, whom the three boys she loved most in the world resembled perfectly.
The man who had tried to hold her back when she said she had to leave, but who ultimately respected her wishes and let her go…
‘Baek Sa-eon.’
Even thinking of this man brought a strange, aching throb to her heart.
However, Cheong-ha suppressed that inexplicable feeling and asked in a bright voice.
“Where on earth did you pick up such a cute, kind, and clever daughter?”
“Our little Cotton Ball is indeed cute, kind, and clever. She takes after me.”
Sa-eon chuckled and played along.
As a White Tiger beastkin born with extraordinary physical abilities, his senses were incredibly sharp. There was no way he hadn't noticed her bloodshot eyes.
There was no way he hadn't smelled the salty scent of her tears.
Yet, Cheong-ha’s heart warmed at his consideration as he pretended not to notice and smiled for her.
Baek Sa-eon was always that kind of man.
He wasn't overtly affectionate, but he was the man who always waited for her in the same spot, unchanging.