Chapter 37
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 37
Kneeling down to match her eye level, he looked straight into the child's face and asked.
"Uh, well... that is..."
So-ya hesitated, her fingers tightly bunching up the fabric of her skirt before she finally answered.
"…Yes."
Her voice was small and raspy, as if the words were being squeezed out of her.
The truth was, she didn't want to leave.
Still, it’s for the best. I thought I’d have to leave without even saying goodbye, but I got to see his face one last time.
So-ya tried her best to think positively.
She was upset that her secret had been discovered, but she told herself this was a good thing.
"No. I won't allow it. Don't leave, Cotton Ball."
So-ya lifted her head at the sound of Sa-eon’s voice. It was flat and monotonous, yet somehow sounded incredibly urgent.
"Pardon…?"
"You gave me permission. You said I could steal you. That’s why I brought you here, so you can’t go changing your mind and running away now."
"But back then… you clearly said I should stay for the time being…"
"I did?"
"Yes."
"I never—"
"You said, 'It’s not a bother at all, so don't worry and stay here for the time being.'"
"…."
Sa-eon’s brow furrowed slightly.
Right. He did feel like he might have said something like that.
He had forgotten because he hadn't put much weight behind the words when he spoke them. He hadn't realized the child would memorize them so perfectly, word for word, chewing over them in solitude while counting down the days until her departure.
"…To think I made you misunderstand like that. I'm a fool of a tiger."
His muttered words were thick with self-reproach.
Sa-eon knew. All of this happened because he hadn't given So-ya any certainty. Above all, hadn't he himself been unable to decide what to do with the child's future?
Therefore, this was entirely his fault.
"I'm sorry, Cotton Ball."
Sa-eon knelt properly on both knees before So-ya and offered a sincere apology.
"This is all my fault."
"Lord Sa-eon…!"
Startled, So-ya bolted upright.
"Why are you kneeling…! The, the floor is cold. Please, get up…."
So-ya hovered around him, stomping her feet in distress, not knowing what to do.
However, Sa-eon remained kneeling. He simply tilted his head back to look up at the child.
"I brought you here, yet I failed to take proper responsibility for you. I made a young child like you feel so insecure that you even thought about leaving on your own."
"N-no! That’s not it! I…!"
"I promise you, Cotton Ball. I will never make you feel insecure again. I’ll become a better adult."
So-ya, who had been waving her hands in frantic denial, suddenly stopped at the sound of Sa-eon’s low, heavy voice.
"So, don't stay 'for the time being.' Stay here with me forever."
"…!"
So-ya’s eyes grew wide and round.
Stay here together, forever?
Then what about Lady Si-yo?
Lady Si-yo would be uncomfortable with me here….
And besides, I….
Staring blankly at Sa-eon, So-ya asked cautiously.
"…Were you not disappointed in me?"
"Why would I be disappointed in you, Cotton Ball?"
"Because, I… like Lady Si-yo said, I’m a bad child who stole someone else’s life…. And earlier, your face, Lord Sa-eon…."
So-ya’s voice trailed off into a tiny whisper.
"You looked so disappointed…. You weren't even smiling…."
So-ya recalled how Sa-eon’s face had hardened into a mask when Si-yo was exposing her shameful past. Though he had a cold impression at first glance, he had always greeted her with a broad grin, so So-ya hadn't realized how terrifying his face could be when the smile vanished.
That was why she thought Sa-eon was disappointed and angry with her. After all, she was a sinner who had stolen someone else's life, hidden her past, and shamelessly followed him all the way to the White Tiger Palace.
However, Sa-eon shook his head and answered softly.
" I wasn't disappointed in you. If I looked like a disappointed man, it wasn't because of you—it was because I was disappointed in myself."
"…?"
"Because I failed to realize how much pain you must have suffered in the Vermilion Bird Clan. That’s why I was disappointed in myself."
"…That is a very strange thing to say."
Sa-eon gave a bitter smile at the sight of So-ya’s bewildered expression, as she struggled to understand his words. He added, "And the reason I wasn't smiling was because I felt pathetic for only finding out through someone else's mouth."
"…."
"Because it hurt me to know I hadn't recognized the wounds you were carrying."
"…."
"And because my heart ached thinking about how much you must have suffered for such a reason. That’s why I couldn't smile."
"…."
Her lips, small as a bird's beak, parted slightly.
So-ya still couldn't understand Sa-eon’s words.
He was upset and his heart ached because of me? That’s why he couldn't smile?
Perhaps Lord Sa-eon hadn't listened to a single word Lady Si-yo said earlier. He must not have understood at all what she had done in the Vermilion Bird Clan, or how bad of a thing she had done before running away.
"It wasn't 'for such a reason.' I… I stole another person's life!"
She had to explain it to him. She had to tell him she was a very bad child. That he didn't need to feel upset or have a heavy heart because of her.
"They said it was because of me that Lady Ri-ri grew up without her parents! They said Lady Ri-ri’s weak body is my fault, and that the Clan Head and the Young Master suffered because of me…!"
It was strange. She was only stating the facts, so why did her throat feel so hot and burning? Why was she clenching her fists and raising her voice like someone in a fit of passion?
And why was Lord Sa-eon looking at her with such sorrowful eyes…?
"How is any of that your fault?"
And why was he speaking with such a pained voice…?
"You’re just a nine-year-old little Cotton Ball. You must have been much younger when you were swapped with that family’s daughter. How could that possibly be your fault?"
"But… but everyone said so. The Clan Head, the Young Master, the servants… they all said it was my fault…."
So-ya’s voice began to tremble with tears as she stammered her reply.
"They said I had to spend my whole life atoning for this sin to Lady Ri-ri. That I had to be just as hurt and sad as I had made her…."
"And so," Sa-eon interrupted, his own fists clenching painfully as he asked, "did the people of the Vermilion Bird Clan hurt you?"
He remembered Yeon-jeong’s report that there were signs of abuse on the Cotton Ball’s body. He remembered Sa-ra saying her Spirit Core must have been missing for a long time. He remembered the Three-Legged Crow of the Vermilion Bird Clan who had attacked the child the day they first met.
The truth revealed by the girl from the Silver Tiger Clan earlier explained all those causes and effects.
"They said it was only natural for people to hate and mistreat me, so I had to endure it," So-ya answered in a sorrowful voice.
Those damn bird-brains.
Sa-eon forced himself to swallow his rising rage.
They claimed she took the place of the Vermilion Bird Clan’s youngest daughter and acted the part before being kicked out? The child was likely swapped at a very young age. She probably didn't even know she had been switched.
Even if this child had been swapped with the real daughter of the Vermilion Bird Clan, how could that be her fault?
Even though anyone could see it wasn't the child's fault with just a moment's thought, those cowards had pinned all their tragedy onto this tiny girl. And so, So-ya had been subjected to their mistreatment for such an absurd reason at such a young age. Without even knowing that it was wrong.
"Listen carefully, Cotton Ball. Everything you went through in the Vermilion Bird Clan—all of it was wrong."
He had to let this child know.
"No one has the right to mistreat you, and it was never justified."
"But…."
"You did nothing wrong. It wasn't you who was wrong—it was them."
"But, but…."
The corners of the child's eyes turned red, and soon, thick tears began to well up.
Until now, So-ya had believed everything was her fault. Because she was the wicked little bird who had stolen Lady Ri-ri’s place. Therefore, it was only natural for everyone to hate and dislike her. That was why she had endured the sharp criticism and abuse in silence, without crying.
But Sa-eon was telling her that none of it was her fault. He was saying she had done nothing wrong, and that the ones who mistreated her were the ones in the wrong.
It wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything wrong.
The moment she chewed over those words…
Drip—
The tears brimming in So-ya’s eyes finally spilled over.
Drip, drop—
"Everyone, hic, everyone said it was my fault, sob…. No one, hic, was ever on my side. Father, Brother Hwa-yu, they all said it was So-ya’s fault, so why…."
So-ya asked through her sobbing.
"Why do you say it’s not my fault, Lord Sa-eon? Why are you the only one taking my side?"
"Because the world you lived in until now was wrong."
So-ya’s eyes shook violently at his calm voice.
"Huu, uuu, uuu…."
The sobs she had been trying to suppress finally escaped her lips.
"That’s why, from now on, I’m going to show you what a proper world looks like."
"Waaaaah!"
Finally, her sorrowful wailing burst forth.
"So-ya…!"
Ga-hyeon, who had been watching from the corner ever since Sa-eon appeared, rushed over and wiped So-ya’s wet eyes with the edge of his sleeve.
"So, become my daughter, Cotton Ball."
Sa-eon gave a playful flick to So-ya’s reddened nose and smiled broadly.