Side Story 26
Translator: RaidenTL
Side Story 26
“Brother Ga-ya...?”
So-ya blinked at Ga-ya’s sudden remark telling her not to laugh for no reason.
“You weren’t feeling okay just now, but you forced a smile anyway, pretending you were.”
“It’s not like that. I was just...”
Flustered, So-ya waved her hands in denial, but unlike her other brothers, Ga-ya was not easily swayed.
“I see how it is. You’re not a baby Som-som anymore; you’re a swindler Som-som. You promised you’d show it when you were sad and let it out when you were upset.”
A swindler. She had never heard such a word directed at her before.
Feeling a sudden sense of injustice, So-ya quickly protested.
“I didn’t mean to break my promise. And I really am much better now. I don’t even cry when I’m alone anymore. Just now, it just happened without me realizing...”
It was the truth.
So-ya didn't cry anymore, nor did she wander around looking for Seol-yo.
While a sense of emptiness would occasionally wash over her when she was alone, she truly felt she had moved on.
“Are you sure you aren’t just deceiving yourself into thinking you’re okay?”
“...?”
So-ya’s eyes grew wide at his words.
Am I deceiving myself?
It was a thought that had never once crossed her mind.
“No. I...”
So-ya’s mouth clamped shut.
She stared down at the tips of her shoes for a long time without answering. Then, slowly lifting her head, she spoke again.
“I’ve never broken a promise to my family, and I’ve never deceived anyone. Why would I do that when I know everyone would worry? Just now, I wasn't upset. It’s just that passing by this path reminded me of when we all used to play together...”
“That’s exactly what ‘not being okay’ means,” Ga-ya said, cutting her off. “You just confessed. You’re most afraid of everyone worrying about you, aren’t you, Som-som?”
Her rose-colored eyes wavered violently for a moment.
It felt as though he had pierced through to her innermost feelings—feelings even she hadn't recognized.
The people of the White Tiger Palace had always been overprotective of her.
Their attitude hadn't changed from the time she first arrived at the palace as a nine-year-old until now, at fourteen.
They were all kind, good people.
They were the type of people who felt sorrow alongside others.
So-ya hated the thought of them being upset because of her, so she believed she had to get better quickly.
She had made a conscious effort to be okay.
She tried not to cry. She tried not to dwell on sad thoughts.
Because of that, she truly believed she had recovered.
Even if she felt empty and depressed when she was alone, she still thought she was fine.
‘But I wasn’t. I wasn’t okay at all.’
Perhaps, as Ga-ya said, she only thought she had to be okay because everyone was worried.
Perhaps she had been lying to herself, saying she was fine when she actually wasn't.
“...”
As she finally looked into her own heart, So-ya’s expression turned sorrowful.
Ga-ya slowly lowered himself to match her eye level. He gazed into her trembling eyes.
Ga-yul had said he would make So-ya laugh every day, and Ga-hyeon had said he would never let her cry again, but...
“It’s okay to cry, Som-som. How can a person only laugh every day?”
Ga-ya’s perspective was a little different.
“There will be times when you have to cry. That can’t be helped.”
He simply wanted to be there to wipe away her tears when she did.
He wanted to be a sanctuary where she could cry to her heart's content whenever she needed to.
“I know you don’t want to worry others, but there’s no need to deceive your own heart. At the very least, you can be a bit more honest with your emotions when no one is watching.”
“...”
“Even if you cry your eyes out here, no one else will know. So what does it matter?”
“But... Brother Ga-ya is here,” So-ya whispered, glancing at him.
“Don’t mind me.”
Ga-ya gave her a mischievous grin.
“This is a secret, Som-som, but I cried when I was little, too. When those scaly fish bastards from the East took Mother away, I was so angry and upset that I crawled under my covers and cried in secret.”
“You did, Brother?”
“Yeah. It’s a secret that even Father and the rest of the family don’t know, but I’m telling only you. Well? Now that you know I cried, aren't you worried? Doesn't it feel like your heart is breaking? Right?”
“Uh... well...”
So-ya couldn't answer immediately and let her voice trail off.
She felt bad for him, but her heart didn't exactly feel like it was breaking. Besides, their mother had returned now...
“See? We’ve shared the same amount of worry now. Doesn't that make it better? Since your heart must be breaking for me, you can just go ahead and cry, Som-som.”
“Oh, honestly.”
So-ya finally burst into laughter at Ga-ya’s playful logic.
Tears began to bead and roll down from the corners of her eyes as they crinkled with her bright smile.
Drip, drip, splash—
The tears that started as a few drops gradually grew heavier.
As So-ya sobbed aloud, Ga-ya quietly pulled out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes.
Once she had finally calmed down, So-ya looked at the handkerchief and let out an embarrassed little giggle.
“My embroidery skills must have been terrible back then. This looks more like a goblin than a tiger.”
It was the very handkerchief So-ya had sent him while he was away at war, back when she had just started learning embroidery.
At that time, she hadn't even met Ga-ya yet and had been secretly worried about what she would do if she couldn't get along with her eldest brother.
“You actually thought that?” Ga-ya asked, wrinkling his nose.
“Yes. I thought you might find it awkward or annoying that a child you’d never seen before had suddenly appeared.”
“That’s cold, Som-som. To think you saw me as a mean older brother who’d find his little sister a nuisance.”
“No, it wasn't like that...”
The two sat side by side on a rock, chatting comfortably.
Fortunately, since she hadn't cried for very long, her eyes weren't swollen.
So-ya felt much lighter and refreshed.
“But Brother Ga-ya, how did you know? That I wasn't actually okay, I mean.”
So-ya asked out of curiosity, amazed that Ga-ya had noticed something about her heart that she hadn't even realized herself.
“There’s nothing I don’t know. I’m the smartest tiger in the world, after all.”
There was no way he wouldn't know.
Ever since he returned to the White Tiger Palace, driven by a childishly competitive spirit and the singular goal of becoming the "coolest brother" to his sister, he had been hovering around So-ya every single day.
“Well, Som-som? Is your brother the coolest?”
“Yes, Brother Ga-ya is the coolest! You’re the best tiger of all!”
So-ya answered with a bright smile.
Having finally received the words he wanted from her, Ga-ya wore a smile of victory.
* * *
Ga-ya had said that sadness isn't something to be suppressed alone, but something to be shared.
[Come find me whenever you feel like crying from now on. Despite how I look, I’m very good at keeping secrets. I never talk nonsense, either.]
Of course, considering Ga-ya’s frequent eccentric words and actions, it was hard to fully agree with that last part...
‘He told me to come find him whenever I want to cry and that he’ll keep it a secret. Brother Ga-ya is truly a kind person.’
So-ya felt reassured.
As she walked down the mountain with Ga-ya, So-ya looked back at the White Tiger Palace.
At nine years old, she had come to the palace and learned how to cry out loud for the first time. Now, at fourteen, she had learned how to share her sadness.
With this realization, she felt as though she had suddenly become a very impressive adult.
Upon returning to the palace, So-ya bragged to everyone she met about how wonderfully she had practiced her archery that day.
With Ga-ya chiming in beside her, everyone added a word of praise, saying how amazing their young lady was.
After laughing and chatting with everyone, So-ya returned to her room and was alone once more.
Until only this morning, being left alone after being with people would make her feel lonely and cold, but not anymore.
Even though she was alone, the air around her felt cozy and warm—even though autumn was already approaching.
‘Just like Brother Ga-ya said, the sadness ran away because I shared it.’
It was truly mysterious.
Facing her heart and acknowledging it had made the sadness flee far more effectively than when she had tried to force herself to believe she wasn't sad.
So-ya reached for the wooden box on her desk, the one she had been avoiding.
Now able to open the box without needing to summon any special courage, So-ya finally began to unfold the letters inside one by one.
<Hello, Cotton Ball. This is a letter from the coolest Brother Yul in the world. But, um... do I really have to fill this whole page? I think the paper is too big, hmph.>
There was Baek Ga-yul’s letter, scribbled carelessly in large handwriting...
<To fourteen-year-old So-ya. Hi, So-ya! It’s me, Ah-rang. I can’t believe we’re already fourteen! Really!! Really!!! I can’t believe it!!!!! We’re adults now!!!!! There were so many things I wanted to do when I became an adult. Like...>
There was the energetic Ah-rang’s letter, which filled the entire page...
<Young Lady Cotton Ball, hello. Congratulations on turning fourteen. Am I doing well five years from now? Are you suffering because the Young Master is teasing you? Speaking of which, My Lady, because of Young Master Yul, I’ve been...>
And there was Su-ri’s letter, filled with what were essentially complaints about Ga-yul...
“Oh, Su-ri. You’re exactly the same now as you were five years ago.”
So-ya chuckled as she finally unfolded the last letter—Seol-yo’s.
<Hello, So-ya.>