Cao Mengde’s People
Life in our newlywed home was nothing short of blissful.
I had a goddess-like wife, three abundant meals every day, and anything I needed was promptly delivered by servants from Cao Cao’s household. Money had become meaningless.
On top of that, my position as Commandant of Cavalry meant I was one of the Emperor’s personal mounted guards. I could freely enter and leave the imperial palace, seeing only the finest things.
When I grew bored, I would tour the construction sites of Xuchang with Cao Ang, who held the post of Assistant to the Grand Tutor, or supervise the works and receive a generous bonus.
The atmosphere inside Cao Cao’s own household was no different.
“Listen well. This child is the daughter of the renowned scholar Cai Bojie. I am treating her as my eldest daughter-in-law, so all of you must remember that.”
“Yes, Madam.”
“If any of you dare act like a mother-in-law behind my back, I will not let it slide. Do you all understand?”
“Yes, Madam.”
Lady Ding is at it again, disciplining the concubines.
Just as she had done in Yan Province, Lady Ding’s authority within the Cao household in Xuchang was absolute.
Even now she had gathered all of Cao Cao’s wives and concubines—including Lady Bian—to enforce discipline. She had brought my wife, Cai Yan, with her and declared that she would treat her as the eldest daughter-in-law. No one else was to play the role of mother-in-law.
Watching this scene from the side were two young boys.
Cao Pi, who was about eight years old, and beside him the larger boy was Cao Cao’s adopted son, Cao Zhen.
I had noticed it before—Cao Pi always stood at a distance whenever his birth mother, Lady Bian, was being scolded by Lady Ding. He would stare at Lady Ding with quiet resentment.
Even now he was doing the same. For such a young child, he clearly held grudges deep in his heart.
That boy… I’ll have to make sure he doesn’t go down the wrong path when he grows up.
I decided it was time to interrupt Lady Ding’s lecture. I casually stepped into the garden.
“Aunt.”
“Oh my, is that Ziye?”
As expected, Lady Ding immediately called Lady Bian over with a gesture.
“If you’ve understood, all of you may withdraw.”
“Yes, Madam.”
Lady Bian showed not the slightest hint of displeasure. She obediently led the concubines away.
Then, as if the previous scene had never happened, Lady Ding turned to me with a radiant smile and invited me into the main hall.
“Ziye, I actually had many things I wanted to ask you.”
“Yes, Aunt.”
A short while later the door opened again. Lady Bian personally brought in tea, served it to us, and quietly withdrew.
“Ziye, Zisu’s marriage situation has made no progress at all. I’m terribly worried. He even refuses to consider any daughters from the powerful clans here in Xudu…”
“Aunt, I promised I would resolve this matter. And Zisu has finally found a woman he truly cares for.”
“I-is that true?”
I nodded. A bright flush of joy spread across Lady Ding’s face.
“Who is she? Where does she live? What kind of young lady has captured Zisu’s heart?”
“She is my wife’s younger sister—my sister-in-law, Cai Lin.”
“Your wife’s younger sister… Oh ho, that young girl!”
“Yes. She will still need proper bridal training, of course.”
“That can be taught quickly. I could bring her here immediately and instruct her myself. But tell me, is it truly true that Zisu has taken a liking to your sister-in-law?”
“He has asked me about marriage several times and clearly shows interest. The problem is that while my wife is trying to persuade her, it’s proving difficult to change her mind…”
Lady Ding’s eyes sparkled.
The cold, proud matriarch instantly transformed into the most devoted, doting mother the moment her son’s marriage was mentioned. She would do anything for him.
“Change her mind? My son is a perfect groom!”
“Well… it’s not that the girl has no feelings at all. It’s just that she finds you rather intimidating, Aunt…”
“Me? Where exactly am I frightening?”
At that moment, Lady Bian’s voice came from outside.
“Madam, the official robes you asked me to wash are finished.”
“If you’ve washed your husband’s robes, shouldn’t you simply hang them in the rear garden? Must you report every little thing?”
“Yes, Madam.”
…Exactly.
After our conversation, Lady Ding thanked me profusely for helping with Zisu’s marriage and rewarded me handsomely once again.
“I won’t have to worry about buying jewelry for the women anymore. Aunt is truly generous.”
It was said that every famous piece of jewelry in the Central Plains eventually passed through Lady Ding’s hands. And now they were coming to me.
When I crossed through the side gate toward my own residence, laughter from the women inside never ceased.
“Madam, this is the book that came from the Wei Hong Pavilion.”
“No way… men and women do it like this…?”
“Oh ho ho, don’t think it vulgar. This book is quite popular even among the wives of noble clans.”
What exactly are they sharing…?
After our marriage, the women who had once belonged to the Wei Merchant Group and shared my bed were no longer courtesans. They had become female merchants of the group and information brokers who circulated among the wives of high officials.
They frequently visited to introduce rare goods, sew together, or learn literature from Cai Yan. Today was no exception.
But what kind of book had they given to the refined poetess Cai Yan? Something about bedroom techniques between men and women? What on earth…
“I-is this really possible? How can one use her breasts to… on her husband’s…”
“That’s why women with particularly large breasts are so popular in the pleasure houses. Once a man gets addicted, he can’t think straight. Ho ho ho~”
“Good heavens, how indecent…”
…Hmm. Maybe I’ll listen just a little longer.
“Miss Miao, what is this one? Hanging a persimmon from a string on the ceiling?”
“Ah, that’s training. You tie up a ripe persimmon, then eat it using only your mouth and tongue without using your hands.”
“Why would anyone do that?”
“Well… if you imagine it’s not a persimmon but a man’s ‘thing’…”
She’s teaching some truly excellent things.
Ever since our wedding night, I had noticed Cai Yan’s nighttime skills improving strangely. So this was the reason.
“Madam, I embroidered it exactly as you taught me. Is this acceptable?”
“Yes, let me take a look.”
I didn’t even need to enter. The atmosphere inside was warm and cheerful.
This was what our household had become lately.
If Cao Cao ever became Chancellor, I really wanted to leave a record for later generations titled “The People of Chancellor Cao’s Household.”
Well then, shall I head over to Uncle Xiahou’s residence on the other side?
Clack—
“Tsk tsk, you’re going to place it there?”
Clack—
“Ah?!”
“Shall I give you a move back?”
When I arrived at Xiahou Dun’s house, he greeted me warmly and immediately set up a game of xiangqi.
We played an impromptu match. He took the Han side while I took Chu. It was incredibly difficult.
The ancient Han-era rules of xiangqi were different from what I had learned before. Cannons could capture other cannons, and each piece had movement restrictions. I made several blunders.
Xiahou Dun simply scratched around his eyepatch or fanned himself, waiting patiently with a relaxed expression.
Clack—
“Oh, that’s actually a decent move.”
When Xiahou Dun moved his piece in response, I spoke up.
“Uncle, have you been well lately?”
“Why? Are you itching for a fight because you haven’t ridden into battle recently?”
“I prefer peace and relaxation over war. It’s just that lately I haven’t found anything particularly interesting…”
“Now now, how can a newlywed groom say such things already? Once a man takes a wife, he should spend at least half a year thinking of nothing but staying at home with her.”
…Yes, I can clearly see your tendencies as an extremely vigorous, devoted husband.
While we were playing, the door opened and Lady Xu—Xiahou Dun’s wife—entered.
She had a plain appearance, and since Xiahou Dun rarely spoke of family matters, we had never really interacted. However, she was always friendly and got along well with both Lady Ding and Lady Bian at the women’s gatherings of the Cao clan.
“Ziye, you and Zisu should visit our house more often.”
“Yes, Aunt.”
“Lately I’ve seen how talented your wife is with writing. If she’s willing, I’d like to send the children to learn from her.”
“Chong and Mu? Yes, it is about time those two started learning their characters.”
Xiahou Dun’s two sons, Xiahou Chong and Xiahou Mu, were even younger than Cao Pi or Cao Zhen.
Especially those names—they would leave an absolutely enormous impact on later generations.
“Uncle Xiahou, it is important for a scholar-official to master writing. If you wish, I will speak to my wife about it.”
“I would be grateful. To be honest, I get dizzy just looking at memorials. These days my eyes are getting dim as well.”
He openly admitted, “I actually dislike difficult writing.” In this era, that wasn’t particularly strange.
While studying was essential for fame and success, even among generals there were many who couldn’t understand anything beyond simple words. If the language was even slightly convoluted, they were lost.
In the era of the Three Kingdoms, there were even cases of completely illiterate generals, so Xiahou Dun’s words were nothing unusual.
And if Cai Yan helped teach them, then Xiahou Dun’s two sons—especially that bastard Xiahou Mu!
If Xiahou Mu learned to read and write, I could at least assign him administrative duties. If he later wanted to learn martial arts, I would beat him into shape myself if necessary.
I made a firm resolution to turn that boy into someone who could at least handle the responsibilities of one man and take care of himself.
“Checkmate! And it’s a forced mate!”
“Aigoo!”
My mind had wandered while playing xiangqi, and Xiahou Dun delivered a crushing checkmate.
In the end I lost the bet and had to treat him to a whole table of wine later.
After spending time at Xiahou Dun’s house, I returned home late at night.
When I opened the door to the main bedroom of our residence, Cai Yan was nowhere to be seen.
Wondering if she was busy with something, I opened the inner door and—
Slide—
“…Ah!”
“Hm?”
Cai Yan was doing something inside the inner room.
“Wife, why have you tied up that persimmon with string? Where are you planning to hang it?”
“N-no, this is…”
The usually elegant and graceful Cai Yan turned bright red, genuinely flustered.
Earlier I had overheard the women talking about “hanging a ripe persimmon from the ceiling and licking and sucking it with only your mouth”… Was she actually trying to practice it?
“Husband, this persimmon is actually for…”
“You don’t need to explain further.”
“N-no, w-wait—?!”
I immediately approached her, pulled her into my arms, and untied her robe sash.
Her breasts, tightly wrapped beneath her clothes, swayed heavily. I lifted her up and pushed her down onto the bed.
Then I climbed on top and gave her ear a deep, commemorative kiss…
“Ziye! Ziye!!!!”
“!?”
“Ziye, are you inside? Ziye!”
Cao Ang’s loud, urgent voice called for me from outside.
Then he abruptly threw the door open.
“Ziye! Are you in— uwaa?!”
Thankfully, Cai Yan reflexively pulled her clothes over herself and grabbed the sash. I hadn’t yet removed my own clothes, so it only looked as if “a married couple was lying down together while still dressed.”
Cao Ang’s face turned beet red. He slammed the door shut and shouted.
“Ziye, I’m truly sorry! I will apologize sincerely to you and your wife later, but you must come out right now. Something terrible has happened.”
“What’s going on all of a sudden…”
“Husband, your outer robe…”
Cai Yan quickly brought me the long robe worn over official garments and helped me put it on. I stepped outside.
“Ziye, I’m really sorry, but follow me immediately to Father’s main hall.”
“What happened?”
“An enemy attack! Yan Province and Yu Province are in danger!”
“What?”
Damn it, what the hell is this now?
An enemy attacking Yan and Yu Provinces? Who in their right mind would dare strike at Cao Cao’s army while he held the Emperor?
The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.
Tonight I had planned to enjoy the “good information” Cai Yan had learned from the women of the Wei Hong Group and spend a passionate night with her. But at this critical moment, the news of war had completely killed the mood.
To have such a situation right before the most important act of the night—it was so absurd I couldn’t even speak.
“…Damn it. Damn it all! I was going to spend a wonderful night with my beloved wife tonight!”
As it turned out, Cao Cao had also been in the middle of receiving a bath from his concubine when the urgent report arrived. He had rushed out immediately.
Inside the main hall, Cao Cao’s body was still damp from the hurried wiping, and his clothes were thrown on carelessly.
It wasn’t just me. Uncle Cao Cao had also been preparing for a hot night when the news of war reached him. He had summoned everyone in a state of extreme irritation.
“Aman, what the hell is going on? And why are your clothes wet?”
“Don’t ask!”
“Eh?”
Xiahou Dun, who had rushed over after hearing the news, asked in surprise, but Cao Cao answered irritably.
Soon after, Cao Ren, Cao Hong, Xun Yu, Xun You, and Cheng Yu all arrived.
“Lord Minister of Works, Fengxiao is hurriedly getting dressed after hearing the news and will be here shortly.”
“Forget it! Let’s begin immediately.”
Aigoo, so Guo Jia was also enjoying a good night when this disaster struck.
The only person properly dressed in official robes was Xun Yu. He explained the reason he had gathered everyone.
“Please listen, everyone. We have received intelligence that a large army has risen in the Shuchun region of northern Yang Province and is marching toward Qiao County.”
“What? They’re targeting Qiao County from there?”
“Shuchun is Yuan Shu’s territory, isn’t it? That dog of the Yuan clan suddenly dares to march on Qiao County?”
Cao Ren and Cao Hong were both visibly shocked. Xun Yu took out a bamboo slip.
“This is a letter sent by Lord Cao Chun, Grand Administrator of Qiao County. After conducting reconnaissance, he reports that Yuan Shu’s main army is on the move and that enemy forces will reach Qiao County within three days.”
Late into the night, the urgent report that Yuan Shu was attacking Yan and Yu Provinces sent everyone into an emergency military conference.
Yuan Shao… Yuan Shu… In the end, the root of all evil is that Yuan clan of the Four Generations and Three Dukes! They are the true culprits!