The Path We Must Still Walk
Even after beheading Yuan Tan, the road ahead remained unchanged. Yuan Tan was Yuan Shao’s eldest son, yet his talents fell short of his half-brother, Yuan Shao’s third son Yuan Shang, and so he had been pushed aside from the succession. After Yuan Shao’s death, the eldest son’s faction and the third son’s faction split in civil strife, allowing Cao Cao to absorb the weakened Hebei. That was how history had originally unfolded. And I had just ruined everything when things were going so well.
[Hear me, all of you! The traitor Cao Cao has struck at this great general Yuan Shao’s army and slain my beloved son. Soldiers of Hebei, how can you endure such injustice!]
The moment Yuan Tan’s head was taken, Cao Cao confirmed the kill and immediately sent it back to Yuan Shao. Yuan Tan was dead, and the head would be returned without further desecration. Yuan Shao erected an altar atop his army of a hundred thousand and placed his son’s body upon it.
[Tan, my son! How could you go before your father? That the sons of Hebei should fall like this is a tragedy beyond words!]
Yuan Shao’s booming voice rang out, yet something about it felt off.
“I understand a father’s grief a hundred times over… but that doesn’t sound right.”
Not only I, but Xiahou Dun, Cao Hong, and Xun You as well stepped out to watch the grotesque funeral and eulogy from afar.
[Yuan Tan, the valiant son of Hebei, is dead. Will you stand by and watch? Must you not avenge him?]
“The valiant son of Hebei? And who was it that sent such a man off to Qingzhou?”
Only then did I understand what Yuan Shao was doing. He was acting. Even an incompetent eldest son cast aside from the succession was still the eldest son. Yuan Shao was putting on a show, using even a dead son to sell his corpse for morale.
“No matter how I look at it, that is not a father mourning his son. He is a cold-blooded man using a dead child to the fullest to raise his army’s spirits.”
“What?”
“Even if Yuan Shao schemes, surely he would not go that far?”
Cao Hong and Xiahou Dun looked incredulous, but Xun You nodded.
“It must be true. What father would place his dead son on an altar and then set the body alight?”
“Ah, aaah!”
As if on cue, Yuan Shao cried out.
[Valiant sons of Hebei! Rise! Drive out every traitor of the Central Plains and forge a Hebei empire by force!]
With those words, Yuan Shao set fire to his son’s altar.
“Yuan Xing truly did something monstrous. He openly used his own son’s remains as a sacrifice to restore morale.”
It was an enormous blow. Cao Cao’s cavalry had gathered every ounce of spirit to deliver a killing strike that should have shattered Yuan Shao’s army, yet the slain general turned out to be Yuan Shao’s son, and Yuan Shao had used that very corpse to rekindle his wavering troops.
Thud— Thud— Thud— Thud—
In time with Yuan Tan’s funeral, the soldiers beat the earth with their spear shafts, the sound shaking heaven and earth. Morale within the army was reversing once more.
“This is my mistake. In a single moment I killed a man I should not have killed, and I have thrown the entire battlefield into chaos.”
Tap—
“!?”
“I rode deep into the enemy camp, saw the face of their commander-in-chief, and captured the son who commanded their final defensive line.”
Cao Cao’s assessment of the situation.
“If you call this a mistake, the world will laugh at you. Since when do we weigh military merit by a general’s name alone?”
“Uncle.”
“Moreover, it was clearly our side that carved through the enemy lines and slew their general. Why are you so troubled? We must reward our own. Today I will grant ten times the usual bounty to every brave soldier who entered the enemy camp and survived.”
“!!!”
“What are you all standing around for? Go and reward the subordinates who achieved such great merit today!”
Yuan Shao, true to his nature, used even his son’s death as a scheme to raise morale. Cao Cao, true to his nature, calmly reassured his men and used wealth to lift their spirits.
“Zayul, it is fine. Rest inside today. No matter what anyone says, today’s achievement belongs to you.”
“Thank you, Uncle.”
I quietly made my way toward the tent. There I saw the camp kitchen and picked up a ladle, dipping it into the water barrel.
“Ah, Colonel.”
“Colonel, you have returned.”
I drank deeply from the ladle, then poured the rest over my head. Several days had passed since I slew Yuan Tan, yet I still could not forget the smell and feel of the blood.
Thud— Thud— Thud— Thud—
“Aigoo, there they go again with that nonsense!”
“Ah, who says otherwise? Just because they have the numbers they think they can measure us? Beating the ground day after day—what do they expect to come of it?”
Yuan Shao’s army of a hundred thousand beat their drums and shook the earth, and with each passing moment our side’s anger and unease grew.
“There is nothing to worry about!”
“Colonel.”
“Even though Yuan Shao leads an army nearing a hundred and fifty thousand, did I not take three thousand cavalry straight to his front and strike down his son?”
“Th-that is correct!”
“We heard the story. We may only serve as support and cannot fight directly… but you, Colonel, are truly an extraordinary warrior!”
Yes. Just as Cao Cao said, for now we had to spread word of the feat we had accomplished and let our army know its own strength.
“Zayul, you were here?”
When Cao Ang arrived in armor at the head of his soldiers, I looked at the ominous drumbeats and earth tremors and felt something click into place.
“Zisu, this is just my personal feeling, but…”
“Hm?”
“I think there will be a night raid soon.”
“…Ah!”
“It is only a possibility, so why not discuss it with the military advisors, Lord Gongda or Lord Ziyang?”
“M-me? Asking them would not be difficult.”
“Then do so.”
“Understood.”
And that very night—
Clang— Clang— Clang—
With the sound of iron gongs, Yuan Shao’s army launched a sudden night attack. Just as I had expected. I gripped my spear and stepped out of the tent. Cao Cao had told me to rest, yet all day I had been oiling my armor, sharpening sword and spear, and training. When I emerged, my subordinates rushed over at once.
“How many are there?”
“It is too dark to confirm, but everyone has come out and is blocking them from three directions!”
I stretched out both hands and listened. During my time on the battlefield I had learned from the Yu Guan Zhang brothers how to gauge an enemy’s numbers. One judged their scale by the sound of their war cries. At first it all sounded like the same noise that shook the eardrums, but being able to distinguish the difference was the true experience of a general.
This level of chaos, this level of shouting, this level of numbers…
“Roughly ten thousand. And they are elite troops.”
That number meant they had selected proper commanders and gathered men whose blood was boiling after Yuan Shao’s daytime speech, preparing them for a night raid.
“Let us go!”
“Yes, Colonel!”
In the central army Cao Ang personally wielded his sword and commanded.
“Do not panic! Even if they launched a night raid, our formation is solid. Reinforce the palisades and repel the enemies before your eyes!”
The sight of Cao Cao’s eldest son fighting valiantly from the front. I mounted my horse and charged straight in. I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs that the culprit behind today’s daytime show, Cao Zayul, was here. But doing so would only make me a bigger target and turn this into a meaningless war of attrition. At times like this it was better not to reveal my name and simply show them the sight of me slaughtering the enemy like a madman.
Shraaaak—
“Kuaaak!”
“Next!”
Kwaaaaaang!
Riding my horse, I trampled the enemy and swung my spear at whatever I saw and felt. Before long, the screams of enemy soldiers and the sound of bodies being torn apart spread throughout the entire camp. A commander fought until his armor was soaked in blood. For now, that single resolve was all I needed to keep fighting. I did not count how many I slew, nor did I care which enemy general came at me. What mattered was showing Yuan Shao’s army that they had raised their morale with a night raid only to be crushed mercilessly by Cao Cao’s forces.
I fought in that trance-like state until the dawn sun rose. In the central army area, pools of blood had formed overnight and countless corpses were piled high.
“Zayul, Zayul!”
“Huu—”
I finally understood what it felt like for a man to fight with all his strength and then collapse from exhaustion. The remaining Tiger and Leopard Cavalry soldiers had fought like demons alongside me. The scale of the enemy’s losses… could be judged simply by looking at the enemy corpses strewn across the central army area.
“Zayul, are you all right?”
“It seems Yuan Shao truly cherished his son after all.”
“What do you mean by that? You only just recovered from your wounds, yet you pushed yourself too hard.”
I raised a hand to Cao Ang to show I was fine, then shouted loudly toward Yuan Shao’s camp.
“So this is the great general of Hebei, Yuan Benchu! Did you send so many Hebei soldiers to accompany your fallen son so he would not be lonely in the afterlife? The armies of Hebei will surely get along well in the underworld!”
“S-sacrifice…”
If this was not a sacrifice, what was it? The only difference was that he had not killed them himself but ordered a night attack so we would do the killing. Regardless of his purpose, this was the same Yuan Shao army that had raised its morale with yesterday’s speech and the offering of his son. They had carried that morale into a night raid only to be defeated, so the momentum had returned to our side.
***
That evening, Cao Cao suddenly summoned three people to his tent: me, Cao Ang, and Cao Hong.
“You all fought fiercely last night. Zilian, Zisu, and Zayul, of course, but even the generals of the eastern and western armies, and even Gongda took up a bow as an advisor.”
“Ah, truly, no matter how many we killed, there was no end to them, Elder Brother!”
“Hahaha, yes. But we won this time as well.”
Cao Cao stroked his beard and pointed at the three of us.
“Among them, you three in particular did more than your share. It is time you rested a little.”
“Father, what do you mean? How can we rest in the middle of a great battle against the enemy?”
“I am about to become a grandfather, am I not? Zisu, go down to Puyang.”
“Father.”
“That is an order! Be there when your first child is born. In exchange, go to Miaocai in Puyang and inform him of the current situation.”
“!?”
Out of nowhere, Cao Cao was sending Cao Ang, who had been fighting well, back to Puyang. And he wanted Xiahou Yuan to be informed of the current situation.
“Zilian, you rest as well.”
“Elder Brother, even though Brother Dun is here, how can I fall back? Send the children instead and let me stay and fight.”
“No, you are on leave as well. Instead, go to Chaoxian and tell Zihua the current situation.”
“Ah, yes!”
Cao Hong was ordered to go down to Chaoxian and inform Cao Shun in his place. Was he temporarily rotating Xiahou Yuan in for Cao Ang and Cao Shun in for Cao Hong?
“Zayul.”
“Yes, Uncle.”
“You go down to Xudu and rest. Comfort your wives and concubines, tell the family that everyone is well, and rest properly. And…”
So who was I being sent to?
“Inform County Magistrate Bai Ning of Xu and Commandant Xu Shu of the situation here. While you are enjoying time with your wives and concubines, meet with Xun Yu and Guo Jia whenever you think of it and learn about the current state of the Central Plains. Then return when I call for you.”
The moment I went down, he would bring up Magistrate Man Chong of Xu and Commandant Xu Shu, and have them create additional grand strategies with Xun Yu and Guo Jia… That seemed to be the idea. My replacement was Man Chong. He had given him quite a generous evaluation.
“If you understand, all of you may go.”
Though it felt incomplete, Cao Cao had given the order, so we had to move. Outside, both Cao Hong and Cao Ang looked equally confused.
“Uncle, why is Father doing this? Did he call Uncle Miaocai because my military talent is lacking?”
“Hmm, I do not know either. On my way down I am supposed to bring up the cavalry Zihua has been training and make the rotation.”
Then Cao Hong and Cao Ang looked at me.
“In any case, I must go to Xudu and report the current situation to the Imperial Secretary without omitting a single detail.”
“Zayul, you know something, do you not?”
There was something I knew, but I could never say it. Of course not. Right now, standing here, how could I say that Cao Cao would eventually be pushed back in the field, choose to fortify instead, and retreat all the way to Guandu Castle to lock the gates? Even if that was how history originally went, it was not a sight he would want his sons to see. At the same time, he could give his weary kinsmen commanders a chance to change horses, recover from their wounds, and prepare for one more fight. In any case, we were returning to Xudu for a while, carrying the latest reports from the front with us.