The War of Words Before the Storm
The clash of steel rang out like a thunderclap.
“Yunchang, Uncle…?!”
Clang—!
Crazy bastard! One wrong move and my body would have been sliced clean in half. I barely managed to deflect the blow, but before I could even catch my breath, the teeth of the Blue Dragon came flying at me again.
Clang!
I blocked it once more and steadied my stance. Guan Yu’s face had turned a deep, furious crimson. He looked ready to slaughter everyone in sight.
“Uncle Yunchang!”
“You dare call me ‘Uncle’ with that filthy mouth of yours?”
Clang—!
“Let’s talk like civilized people!”
“Shut your mouth, you who murdered my sworn brother and younger brother in Xiaopei!”
“Their deaths have not been confirmed!”
“!?”
After barely blocking three exchanges, Guan Yu faltered. My hands were numb, and my entire body burned as if I had been dipped in boiling water. Even now, he was undoubtedly the greatest warrior under heaven.
“Did you come here just to play word games?”
“I came in person to persuade my uncle and former master.”
“Spare me your nonsense. How could I ever join hands with the enemies of my sworn brothers?”
“I never once raised my blade against Imperial Uncle Xuande or Uncle Yide. Both of them are heroes of the world. You know better than anyone that they would not die so easily in a place like this.”
“Is that so? Then I shall cut you down here and now before heading to Xiaopei.”
“You are well aware that this place is surrounded, aren’t you? And you know even better that it is I who has come, not anyone else.”
“Zayul… I taught you the meaning of righteousness and brotherhood. How could you…”
“Yes. And it is precisely because of that righteousness and brotherhood that I have kept your families safe!”
“W-what?!”
At that moment, Guan Yu’s face twisted with shock. He slammed the Blue Dragon Blade into the ground with a resounding thud.
“When Imperial Uncle Liu, along with both of my uncles, declared they would suppress the remnants of the traitor Yuan Shu and quell the rebellion in Xuzhou, the imperial court grew suspicious. However, how could we possibly harm the families residing in the capital?”
“…Is this true? Are they all safe?”
“Not only your family, Uncle, but also Imperial Uncle’s two wives, his daughter, and Uncle Yide’s son and daughter are all unharmed.”
“Mmm… Mmmmmm!”
“In any case, you know better than anyone that those two would never perish so easily, no matter where they have gone. But right now, only if you return to the capital will you be able to see your entire family again.”
“…My two sisters-in-law and my nieces and nephews are truly safe?”
Guan Yu’s loyalty to Liu Bei was truly immense. Even though he had remarried to Diaochan and had a son, Guan Ping, he first asked about the safety of his sworn brother’s wives and daughter before inquiring about his own household.
I told him they were all well in the capital and had suffered no persecution under the crime of collective punishment.
“Let us go to the capital together.”
“Is this Chancellor Cao’s will?”
“It is also my own wish.”
“Haaaa…”
Guan Yu pulled the Blue Dragon Blade from the earth and prepared to descend the mountain.
“An excellent choice.”
“However, know this. I am not surrendering to Chancellor Cao, nor have I been moved by your persuasion. I will only stay temporarily to ensure the safety of my sworn brother’s family and to learn of his whereabouts.”
“Of course.”
Just make sure you carry us to victory at Guandu before you go.
When I descended the mountain with Guan Yu and the remaining remnants of Liu Bei’s forces, Zhang Liao spotted us first and looked utterly stunned.
“What? Brother Yunchang, you really came down?”
“Wenyuan, seeing you again in a place like this feels truly strange.”
“It does indeed. Especially right in front of Xiapi…”
The scar left by Guan Yu’s Blue Dragon Blade still remained embedded in one of the gatehouse pillars of Xiapi. The difference this time was that, although enemies and allies had once clashed here, no one had died.
“Everyone has arrived safely? This humble one, Jin Deng, is truly overjoyed.”
Once the situation had settled, Jin Deng came scurrying out from inside the fortress to offer his congratulations. He possessed an extraordinary mind and the ability to unite the powerful clans of Xuzhou, yet he had refused Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei’s proposal to oppose Cao Cao. He had also done nothing to help when Guan Yu left Xiapi. Seeing such a man now standing before him, Guan Yu’s anger was inevitable.
“Lord Guan, this was all for the sake of the nation, so please quell your rage…”
“I have nothing to say to the likes of you!”
Guan Yu mounted his horse without so much as a backward glance and galloped straight toward the capital. Left awkwardly standing there, Jin Deng scratched his nose and smiled sheepishly.
“Aigoo, this isn’t what I wanted at all…”
“In the future, govern Xuzhou well. And stop eating raw fish sashimi.”
“Ah, Zhonglangjiang! How did you know? I did suffer a terrible stomachache recently…”
“If you want to live, stop eating raw food.”
I gave a stern warning to Jin Deng, who in the original history had enjoyed raw fish so much that he eventually died of liver cancer, then prepared to return to Xiaopei.
After Guan Yu’s surrender, the morale of Cao Cao’s army in Xiaopei skyrocketed. That much was obvious.
“My wife, what is all this?”
The house was filled with blank bamboo slips and notebooks made of colored silk. They were all empty, perfect for recording anything. Cai Yan sat at the desk, carefully writing characters with a brush.
“I received a gift. It came at the perfect time. I was just writing poetry for the prenatal education of the child in my womb.”
Cai Yan wore the happiest expression in the world as she freely wrote down beautiful phrases. Whoever had sent it, it was truly a wonderful present for her. Beside her, Lu Ming blew gently on the ink to dry it while Xiaoqiao hung the finished pages with care. Everyone looked content.
“Who gave my wife such a fine gift?”
“It was from Young Master Zihuan.”
Cao Pi? Hmm.
“It is a gift received with the proper respect of a disciple, so I shall make good use of it.”
Well, if that was the case, there was no point in making a fuss. I simply let Cai Yan enjoy it.
After that, we spent our days quietly at home. Guan Yu had taken up residence in the very house where Liu Bei had once lived and tended his vegetable garden. He did not enter the palace but simply stayed within the residence. Occasionally I would visit to drink tea or receive training, but beyond that, we did not speak of anything more.
And then, not long after, it finally arrived.
All of Cao Cao’s vassals had gathered at the Chancellor’s office. Cao Cao, his face twisted with extreme fury, thrust a bamboo slip toward me. The contents were utterly shocking.
“Y-you want me to read this?”
“Read it! Loud enough for everyone here to hear!”
Wow… I really have to read this out loud?
But an order was an order. Still, this was some seriously vicious trash talk.
“A denunciation from Hebei. Written by Chen Lin, sent by Yuan Shao.”
“Chancellor Cao Cao, hear this: Your grandfather was originally a palace attendant who, during the reign of Emperor Huan, conspired with eunuchs like Zuo Guan. They blinded the eyes and deafened the ears of the late emperor, abused their gatekeeping power… committed the most heinous and wicked acts… amassed ill-gotten wealth… and ran rampant without restraint…”
“Zayul, speak louder!”
Even from the introduction alone, Cao Ren, Xiahou Dun, and Cao Hong’s eyes were bloodshot. It looked like their fists might fly at any moment.
“They ran wild without restraint, corrupting public morals and making life unbearable for the people. Furthermore, Cao Cao’s father, Cao Song, was originally a beggar loitering at temple gates. He became the adopted son of the eunuch Cao Teng, bought his official post with bribes… flattered powerful families, and stole the position of the Three Excellencies, bringing great calamity upon the state. Cao Cao, as the descendant of eunuchs, lacks virtue and is cunning by nature… He schemes and plots, delights in violence, and enjoys stirring up anger.”
It was Chen Lin’s denunciation, insulting the entire Cao family across three generations.
Bang!
“Elder Brother, we cannot stand by any longer.”
“Indeed. Let us march north immediately and wipe out these madmen.”
“That son of a bitch! What did he say about our family? If I catch him, I’ll chop off both his arms!”
The entire Cao and Xiahou clans were seething with rage. Even the usually calm civil officials muttered among themselves, clicking their tongues at how far this had gone beyond the pale.
And yet, after his initial fury, Cao Cao began to laugh.
“Haha… Hahaha! To possess such elegant brushwork and yet wield it in such a vile and wicked manner. I truly want to meet this man in person.”
Especially since Cao Song was still alive when this filth was written, no one could predict how Cao Cao would react. Then, suddenly, Cao Cao looked straight at me—the one who had read it aloud.
“Zayul!”
“Y-yes, Uncle!”
“What do you think?”
“It is the brushwork of a… truly heinous and shameless wretch.”
“If I asked you to write a reply to Hebei right now, could you do it?”
Ah, so after reading Chen Lin’s letter, he wants me to write a response to Yuan Shao? His expectations are way too high…
“Uncle, my literary talent is lacking. It would be better to have a more accomplished scholar—”
“No. This must be written by a member of the Cao clan! I would do it myself if I could, but that would only invite ridicule. Therefore, I entrust this task to you, Zayul.”
“Then… should I write something equally vulgar and profane, or something more refined and dignified in contrast?”
“Oh~ You can do that? Then write something of refined dignity that stands in complete opposition. As for the literary quality? Someone, go fetch Master Kong Rong at once!”
This was going to be trouble. This letter would become the official declaration of war before the Battle of Guandu, and he was making me write it!
“Zayul, I remember how you used the blood of our clan to make the famous scholars of Hebei kneel before your sharp tongue.”
“Ah… hahaha…”
“What are you waiting for? Uncle Mengde has spoken, so get writing!”
“That’s right, Zayul! Make that bastard Yuan Shao choke on his own words!”
With even my uncles urging me on, and once Kong Rong had arrived, Cao Cao handed him a brush and a fresh bamboo slip. He also passed along Chen Lin’s denunciation.
“Master Kong, look at what they sent me from Hebei.”
“Hmm… This is… rather improper.”
“Indeed. That is why my son Zayul will now dictate a reply. Write down exactly what he says. Every single word!”
Kong Rong looked at me steadily, then nodded and took up the brush.
Alright. As Cao Cao said, I wouldn’t stoop to vulgarity. I would strike with elegant, classical dignity.
I was tempted to open with something like, “The son of a Yuan family slave, trying to inflate his own self-worth by making a huge spectacle of mourning twice for three years, thereby proving he has two fathers and is thus a two-faced liar,” but I held back.
“Then… I shall begin.”
“The brush is ready.”
I took a deep breath and recalled the words carefully. Then I slowly began to speak.
“A message to General-in-Chief and Governor of Jizhou, Marquis of Ye, Yuan Shao.”
Kong Rong’s brush flew across the page.
“The General-in-Chief is the eldest son of the illustrious Yuan clan, a family that has produced Three Excellencies for four generations. He is a man of deep righteousness and chivalry, possessing both loyalty and filial piety—an outstanding talent of this age.”
Scratch, scratch, scratch—
“From a young age, he displayed profound filial devotion. When his father and mother passed, he observed three years of mourning for each, caring for his deceased parents for a full six years. He is the very symbol of a filial son and a paragon of Confucian virtue.”
“W-wait, what? Who told you to write nothing but praise for that bastard Yuan Shao…”
“Zilian, be quiet!”
Once Cao Cao silenced him, I took another breath and continued.
“Having demonstrated filial piety through three years of mourning and loyalty by joining the campaign against the traitor Dong Zhuo, how has this hero of the age changed so drastically? Has your once-sharp intellect become as turbid as the waters of the Yellow River? Has the chivalry in your heart been buried beneath Beimang Mountain? Has your once-brilliant wisdom grown as dark as the headscarves of the Black Mountain bandits? Or has the taste of the axe bestowed upon you by the Son of Heaven turned you into a wild beast?”
“Heh… Hehehehehe!”
Cao Cao burst into wild laughter upon hearing it.
“Mencius said that humans are born good. You too were once a hero who possessed goodness through filial piety and loyalty. So how did such a vile and treacherous denunciation come to be written? How has your heart become so corrupted? Even the lowest street thugs do not insult each other’s families during a fight.”
“Well done. Keep going. And Master Kong, keep writing without pause.”
I glanced over and saw Cao Ren, Cao Hong, and Xiahou Dun shrugging with satisfaction. Even Kong Rong clicked his tongue in admiration as he continued transcribing.
“A gentleman remains a gentleman only when he upholds propriety. If you truly possess the dignity befitting the illustrious Yuan clan that has produced three Excellencies, you would refrain from such vulgar insults. With the axe bestowed by the Son of Heaven, you should instead strike down the neck of the one who wrote such an insulting denunciation, thereby restoring mutual respect. This is the sincere message from the Chancellor’s office in the capital, where the Son of Heaven resides, to the General-in-Chief.”
That was how I wrote it. Of course, if I could have, I would have loved to include the line about “the son of a slave with two fathers making a huge fuss over one funeral and acting like he’s somebody,” but I wrote it exactly as Cao Cao desired.
“Master Kong, what do you think? It turned out to be a fine letter, didn’t it?”
“It is an excellent piece of writing. Would you like to read it?”
Cao Cao read every word of the bamboo slip Kong Rong handed him, then lifted it high with continuous laughter.
“This shall be sent to Hebei. And soon, we shall all meet that faction across the Yellow River. Are you all prepared?”
“Yes, Chancellor!”
Every single civil and military official present could feel it. A great war for supremacy between Hebei and the Central Plains was about to begin.