Fading Glow
We stared at each other for a long time, then I was the first to break the silence.
“…Lione.”
“Yeah. Say it now if you can.”
With that, I took one step, then another, closing in on her.
“…Or maybe just slice off one leg so you can’t get away from here anymore. That’d solve everything, right?”
Before the words even left my mouth, the sword was already flying toward me.
It came in low, slicing sideways at the thigh.
I blocked it with my forearm and tried to push it aside, but Lione stepped back lightly.
She must have learned to be cautious after that one time before.
Humans who learn too fast are the worst.
I only mastered one thing after dying hundreds of times, but this kid probably took one look and made it her own.
And then she never stopped telling me I just wasn’t trying hard enough.
We stood facing each other with swords drawn, slowly measuring the distance between us.
If it was only swordsmanship, we had no chance.
Like last time against the Gukju, as long as I didn’t keep slashing at her neck.
But swords weren’t everything.
They usually were, but not in such a tight space.
Lione had never killed a person before.
She had only taken down some large monsters.
There was a vast gap between knowing how and actually doing it.
I knew talent could bridge it, but after a couple of times… experience could push through somehow.
Lione retreated half a step, then lightly thrust her sword again.
This time she aimed for my leg.
The moment the blade came rushing at me, I twisted my wrist hard.
I opened my forearm wide and slapped the tip aside.
Clang!
The swords collided, sending a sharp crack through the air.
Our blades bounced back.
In that instant I dropped my sword and lunged closer to Lione.
After all, we were inside the professor’s office.
There was nowhere left to retreat.
Lione’s face showed surprise when she realized I didn’t know how to drop the sword.
“W-wait, stop—stop it with your arms!”
But it was too late. She was already swinging the sword down at me anyway.
The sword style Lione had learned was the same one I had.
So I knew exactly how the next move would flow if she tried to keep the rhythm.
I just didn’t know from which direction it would come.
But a downward strike was the same no matter where she swung.
I prayed she didn’t put too much power into it and pressed my body even closer, extending my left arm.
Fortunately the blade sank only halfway into my forearm before stopping.
In that gap I grabbed Lione’s collar with my right hand, shoved her against the wall, and hurled myself down with a knee.
A wet thud, and the strength left Lione’s grip.
“…Ah… ugh… huh…!”
Whether she had strength left or not, I kept her pinned to the wall with my right hand and drove my knee into her stomach again and again.
Once. Twice.
At first Lione tried to block with her hands, then she grabbed my arm, clutching the sleeve of the one holding her collar.
But every time I drove my knee down, her thin moan slipped out, her body trembling beneath the grip.
In the end she twisted her waist with whatever strength remained, but that didn’t help. The body I was holding wasn’t going anywhere.
I thought I’d feel relieved, but it was just… strange.
I hated this kid.
Maybe I hated the fact that talent alone let her swing a sword like flowing water.
We shared the same blood, yet why had all that talent flooded her?
If she couldn’t even inherit it properly, was it the child’s fault? Or her parents’?
Or was it just that idiot lord of ours?
I had been endlessly jealous of the talent I couldn’t inherit.
Why Gryan? Why her, my own sister?
Even as tears welled at Lione’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks, she never let go of my gaze.
What was she hoping for?
Even a parent’s love from me?
Or just a little family affection?
If she really wanted that, she could have treated me with the utmost care.
Or at least not treated me like human garbage from the start.
The way things were between us wasn’t like this from the beginning.
It was only after Lione started handling the sword better than me that I began to look down on her.
In the Gryan family, that was fine.
It was common sense there.
After all, not having talent with the sword wasn’t possible for a Gryan heir.
“Y-you… ugh… ah… it hurts… oppa…”
Lione reached out to push my face away.
But her hand slid off because there was no strength, first grabbing my shoulder, then slowly falling away.
It didn’t matter. I kept Lione pinned to the wall and drove my knee in again and again.
She clung to my wrist like she was begging.
Just like when she begged me to learn even a little swordsmanship or enter some knight order.
I drove my knee down one more time, and Lione’s hem slowly grew wet, a clear liquid trickling down her thighs.
The smell wasn’t overpowering, but it was unpleasant.
This was the same kid who always opened her mouth like a beast… even after taking only this much damage?
Every time I slammed my knee, her arm went limp, but she still tried to grab the hem of my clothes with her fingers, twisting them desperately to hold on.
Suddenly, a memory of when she was very young flashed through my mind.
A little girl dragging a wooden sword behind me, calling “oppa, oppa” as she followed a few steps back.
She had done that for a long time, until she tripped on the sword in her own hand and broke into the same kind of sobs.
Was that a memory of Lihen, or a fantasy I made up? I could no longer tell.
Even though we never truly received love.
In this narrow little house, the only thing we knew how to do was dig each other’s empty spaces.
Blood was still flowing from my left arm, dripping from my fingertips.
The collar was slowly turning red.
I stared at the throbbing left arm for a long time, then lifted my head and met Lione’s eyes.
And I released the strength pinning my only brother against the wall.
The moment I let go, Lione collapsed without even trying to stand.
It was a mess.
Tears streamed down her cheeks, gathered at her chin, and fell slowly one by one.
Her half-open mouth glistened with drool running down her neck.
She looked too weak to wipe it away.
She only managed to breathe in short, painful gasps.
Her cheeks were flushed bright red, as if burning.
I pressed my fingers against the slightly raised cheeks, but they felt hot.
Her eyes looking at me had no focus.
She was looking at me, but not at me.
It wasn’t the eyes that always looked at me like garbage, like an idiot, like a failure, like the stain on the family name.
It was just a dull, unfocused gaze.
Which meant I had made those eyes with my own hands.
That Lione.
The Lione who had always ignored me, tormented me, treated me like disgusting filth.
Was it satisfying?
No satisfaction stirred in me at all.
But why was she looking up at me with that expression?
What was she still hoping for by looking up at me?
My left arm throbbed.
Blood was still flowing.
The smell.
The coppery scent of blood, the stench, and our own breaths filled the room, making the space itself feel alien.
The situation itself was unbearable.
That unbearable feeling always leaked out of my mouth.
“…Why you, of all people? Why did you have to be born as my sister?”
My voice came out trembling on its own.
“If only you… if only you hadn’t been born… then maybe…”
“……”
“Lione. Just don’t look at each other’s faces and live, okay? There won’t be this kind of trouble. Next time won’t you avoid it? No matter how much we try to talk, in the end… we’ll end up like this.”
I rummaged through my pocket with my right hand, pulled out a single cigarette, put it in my mouth, and barely managed to light it.
Then I crouched in front of Lione.
She was still struggling to breathe, coughing, but she didn’t look away.
“Yeah. Exactly as you said… how did we end up like this.”
What was I trying to do?
Ah, yes… I was supposed to go find Arin.
But how did it turn out like this?
I tried to stand up because I didn’t want Lione in front of me anymore.
My brother was still clutching my collar, refusing to let go.