Who Is Elodie Blanche?
I had never given much thought to “Elodie.”
Come to think of it, I really should have. But the image of a “housekeeper” in my head was so vivid that I never bothered to worry or think it through.
Now that I think about it, that’s kind of unfair. But isn’t that how people usually picture them? The image from those over-the-top soap operas, too—they’re almost always middle-aged women, aren’t they? Middle-aged women!
I figured Elodie would be one of those people, so I’d been wondering what kind of pasta I could beg her to make for me, or whether she could grill a steak even better than I could.
That’s why, even when I had Chief of Staff Lee Eunbyul summon Elodie to the house, I never once imagined what would happen next.
* * *
─ Ding-dong! ♬
“Yeees, come in!”
Elodie had kept her promise to arrive at noon, not even a minute late.
I’d been sitting on the sofa since five minutes early, playing PVP in the Galaxy Express Coliseum, and her punctuality made me feel a little embarrassed.
“I was told by Chief of Staff Lee Eunbyul to...”
“It’s been a while, Lady Seah. Have you been well?”
...What the hell?
I’d been planning to casually claim I’d come down with amnesia, but the “Elodie” standing in front of me looked so completely unlike anything I’d ever imagined that my brain froze white.
No, seriously. Is this for real?
Am I being pranked right now?
“My lady? Is something the matter?”
“Uh... well, the thing is. Miss Elodie?”
“Oh my, it seems I was truly unable to recognize you, just as the chief of staff said?”
Elodie was speaking Korean fluently—no, not just fluently, flawlessly. No, no, no!
Where on earth was I even supposed to begin explaining this?
First of all, Elodie was a foreigner with blond hair and blue eyes, the kind of woman who wouldn’t look out of place in a Hollywood film.
Right, a foreigner! And on top of that, she spoke Korean not awkwardly but with complete ease, which was somehow even more shocking.
Her hairstyle was so extravagantly old-fashioned that I would’ve believed it if someone told me she’d hired an actress just to mess with me.
“You really are Elodie, right?”
“I’ll prove it to you, she says.”
Elodie suddenly took out her smartphone and showed me a photo.
It was a picture of Kwon Seah and Elodie standing somewhere on a street in Europe.
“Your clothes are the same.”
“That’s the basic standard for a maid.”
That was the second reason I was so rattled.
Elodie was wearing a maid uniform. Not as a joke, but for real.
Even to my completely untrained eye, it was obvious this wasn’t cosplay but an actual work uniform, the real thing.
What is this? Did some manga character just walk out of the page? Is this woman for real?
“Um... I’m incredibly confused, but please come in.”
Still, I had heard the explanation from Chief of Staff Lee Eunbyul and Sergeant Jeong.
Apparently, Elodie came to Kwon Seah’s house once a week to help with various things.
So I’d imagined a perfectly ordinary housekeeper auntie, but she looked way too young.
Honestly, if someone told me she was a movie star, I’d believe it—her skin was that taut, and the elegance radiating off her was no joke.
...So why exactly was Kwon Seah making this woman work as a maid? What was their relationship?
“Then I’ll excuse myself, my lady.”
Elodie entered the house, removed her black shoes, and immediately set to work with practiced ease.
Despite her youthful appearance, the force she gave off was unmistakable; this was not some random woman passing time as a housekeeper at a chaebol heiress’s home.
“I wonder if you’ve been eating well while I was away... oh?”
Elodie opened the refrigerator door, then turned to look at me in surprise.
“Ah, well... I had a partial case of amnesia, so I’ve been managing on my own for almost two months.”
“Oh my, it seems you’ve been relying on help from people other than me.”
“Huh? No? Not really. I mostly got by on delivery food. But I can’t eat much, so I ended up leaving too much uneaten and bought groceries to cook with.”
Elodie’s eyes widened dramatically, and she covered her mouth with both hands.
“Lady Seah...”
“Eh? Did I do something wrong?”
“You’ve been taking care of your own meals...! That is truly astonishing progress! You, who always drank nothing but ion drinks unless I personally took care of you—my goodness, you actually ordered delivery food!”
...Huh?
“That is truly a relief. Ah, contrary to my worries, it seems you did not spend the past month hungry and struggling.”
Wait, wait, what? What the hell kind of person was Kwon Seah before?
“Ah... I’m almost moved to tears. No matter how often I showed you my cooking, you never took an interest, and now you’ve gone and stocked the refrigerator properly after shopping yourself.”
“Ah... well, um... you can’t live like that forever, right?”
“It truly is a relief. I have always hoped, in my heart, that one day you might escape the swamp you keep sinking into, my lady, and seeing you so bright now makes me even happier.”
Apparently Kwon Seah had not been some lady who casually swallowed depression pills for fun.
Damn, doesn’t that create way too big a gap with the bright persona I’m acting out right now?
...But judging by Elodie’s and Sergeant Jeong’s reactions, they seem happy about it? Maybe this is unexpectedly okay?
“First, I’ll clean your room before preparing your meal.”
“Ah, yes. Please, make yourself comfortable.”
Elodie smiled and headed straight into the bathroom.
“Oh...?”
But the moment she went in, she looked startled, opened the shelves, and began checking things one by one.
“Have you perhaps not been using the bathroom?”
“Huh? No?”
“It was so much cleaner than I expected, and the sanitary supplies were still sitting untouched, so I had to ask.”
“Ah... well, I did lightly clean up after using it.”
Elodie’s eyes widened again, and she went back into the bathroom to inspect the drain and the mirror from different angles.
“You... cleaned the bathroom...”
...Isn’t that normal?
Kwon Seah’s hair reached down to her back, and after one shower you absolutely had to deal with all the loose strands.
How could you not clean up after that? Wouldn’t not doing it be the weird part? Unless you wanted to turn the house into Bikini Bottom, of course you’d clean it.
“Oh, by the way, what are sanitary supplies?”
“...Pardon?”
Elodie looked at me, then opened the shelf and took out an embarrassing item to show me.
“Ah! Ah! I know! I know! For a second I thought I’d misunderstood!”
So she was talking about pads!
I really didn’t want to have this conversation! This wasn’t the kind of thing I could just bluff through as a man!
“My lady? Is your body still unwell? If your cycle has changed from before, or perhaps stopped entirely, then that would mean there may be a health issue, and you must tell me immediately.”
What cycle? I don’t know, I don’t know!
What am I supposed to say here? Come to think of it, for some reason or other, I haven’t had a period at all.
At some point I stopped thinking, “If it comes, I’ll consider myself dead,” and yet I still haven’t had a single one...!
“Hmm~! The thing is... Miss Elodie? I’m not sick or anything~ it’s just... weirdly stopped.”
“Oh my? Then I think it would be best to visit an OB-GYN.”
An OB-GYN? A gynecologist?
No.Absolutely not.
I’m not going.
How am I supposed to go there when I’m a man!
“I’ll keep an eye on the situation a little longer before deciding. You understand, right? If I start going to a hospital like that... ah, haha.”
Fortunately, Elodie gave a bitter smile and nodded.
Phew, that was close.
I really wasn’t ready to accept the whole period thing yet.
...Honestly, I’d be happy if I never had to deal with it, even one year from now, even two years from now—forever, preferably.
“Then first, I shall carefully purchase and stock up on sanitary supplies.”
As she spoke, Elodie walked into the room with the washing machine.
“Oh?”
Lady Seah.
Could it be that before Elodie arrived, you were the type who absolutely never washed the panties and bras you wear yourself?
“W-well... I tried it once as a change of pace, and it was more manageable than I expected~!”
“Good heavens... Lady Seah...”
With a burdened expression, Elodie suddenly took my hand and patted it over and over.
What kind of lady gets praised for washing her own laundry?
“Would you be shocked if I told you I’ve even been cleaning my room?”
“Is that truly so?”
Still holding my hand, Elodie checked the dressing room, the bedroom, and the room with the computer, then burst into applause with visible admiration.
“My goodness... to think you’ve grown into a lady who can care for herself so well. Just looking at you fills my heart.”
She was speaking like she was about to cry.
“The old you would let a week pass and then rise from a pile of laundry even when I cleaned your room... this is a truly moving change.”
“Ugh...”
“Whenever it was time to bring the vacuum out of storage each week, I used to worry about your health so much that it truly pained me.”
So that’s why there was such a big vacuum cleaner in storage?!
And there really had been an absurd amount of trash bags piled up...!!!
“Ugh... please just think of that as my shameful past. Today, just prepare the meal comfortably, okay?”
Elodie smiled and returned to the refrigerator.
“Still, my lady, you needn’t force yourself to get your hands wet and dirty.”
Did she think I was struggling through laundry and cleaning out of stubbornness?
If Elodie was going to come once a week anyway, it would be best to make proper use of her.
Come to think of it, there’s a difference between acting cheerfully in moderation and continuing to do things a chaebol heiress would never do.
...I hadn’t checked thoroughly, but Sergeant Jeong and Elodie were clearly both being paid by Hanseong Group.
If you hire people and even pay them, then say you’ll do all the laundry and cleaning yourself, anybody would think that’s weird.
“I only did it because I couldn’t remember Elodie... and thought I’d have to manage on my own.”
“The saying that the ground hardens after rain doesn’t seem to exist for nothing. Fufufu.”
With a laugh full of grace, Elodie took basil and tomatoes out of the refrigerator and began cooking with practiced ease.
She’d only just started cooking, and yet the house that had belonged to me alone until yesterday was suddenly full of a subtle, lively warmth.
Come to think of it, the reason I’d been talking to myself so much lately was probably because being alone made me feel strangely saggy and dull.
“Now that I think about it, my lady, have you been living alone all this time?”
“Huh? Well, I haven’t really had any other housekeepers or maids come in.”
“Oh my, no wonder your hair isn’t being tended to and your nails haven’t been cared for at all.”
Ugh, was that something I was supposed to do, too? Honestly, my hair still seems like it could wait a bit longer.
“I’ll finish tidying up the room in no time, so after dinner I’ll help with some simple care for your beauty, my lady. These dry days make grooming especially important.”
“Car... care?”
“Since you haven’t had any grooming lately, I’ll do my very best to help.”
“...It’s not absolutely necessary, is it?”
As soon as Elodie heard me, she suddenly stopped moving.
Then she wiped the water from her hands onto her apron with practiced ease and gently took my hand in hers.
“My lady... you’ve been cleaning and doing laundry, and yet on matters like this you’re still exactly the same as before.”
Eh, wha—? What is this, like I’ve stepped on a landmine?
“But it’s absolutely necessary. A beautiful flower is dazzling on its own, but if it is carefully tended, it will shine like a jewel.”
Wait, this is bad—
“Today I’m going to check everything you’ve missed until now: mask packs, relaxing massage, hair trimming, cosmetic inspection, and even perfume, so please don’t even think about running away like before?”
“N-no, I mean... honestly, you don’t have to massage me—”
“My lady?”
“I’ll do it. I’ll do it. Please take good care of me...”
Yeah! I knew this would happen!
A woman with a body like Kwon Seah’s doesn’t just fall from the sky.
She must’ve been maintained somehow! And now I’m the one who has to receive that maintenance!
“Ugh... ngh...!”
I’m a man! I don’t want to do any of this—I just want to sit in front of my computer and play Galaxy Express...!!!