88
Chapter 88
"Dual Personality? Did I hear that right?"
[Yes, you heard correctly. I will become a Dual Personality.]
"Sigh... I really didn't see this coming."
Squeeze—.
My mind raced, and I gripped the rosary tight. Perhaps I gripped it too hard, as a sharp gasp echoed from beyond the rosary.
[Ugh....]
"Oops... sorry. Are you okay? I just felt frustrated for a moment and squeezed too hard."
[I-I am fine. In fact, my body feels relaxed, as if I've received a massage for the first time in a while.]
"Massage, my foot. You probably felt like your whole body was being crushed."
I quickly relaxed the grip of my hand. Only then did the Saint's moaning stop.
The rosary is a tool for communication, but it's also an object that shares the Saint's physical sensations. To exaggerate slightly, it's practically like having a tiny Saint Maria.
Since I gripped that rosary with all my might, swept away by a sudden emotion, it must have been incredibly painful.
Considering that a pained groan escaped the lips of a Saint who endured hundreds of years with both wrists pierced, it must have been significant pain.
"I don't get it."
[What do you mean?]
"Was the Saint's 500 years just for show? You dedicated a whole 500 years, yet you can only maintain your memories for half that time? Is that right?"
I spoke with a hint of irritation. The Saint replied in her usual gentle voice.
[You are mistaken.]
"Mistaken?"
[The 500 years I spent in the Spirit Realm was the price for the right to communicate with you, Lord Joker, through this rosary. Had I given this up, I would have become a complete Regressor.]
"That was foolish. I'm the type of person who has to see things through once I set my mind on something. There's no way my feelings for you would dull in a mere 500 years."
To the Saint, who is but human, five hundred years is time enough for a person's heart to change dozens of times, but not for me. A mere 500 years is but a speck of time to me.
[I do not think so.]
"What?"
I asked back brusquely at her firm assertion. The Saint clearly shared her thoughts.
[How can you not see that this very time spent with you, Lord Joker, is a blessing from the Lord.]
"Together? Are you kidding me?"
[Even though our physical forms are separated for certain reasons, our souls are facing each other in conversation right now. I believe the soul is more important than a body that hasn't even been born yet.]
"...."
It takes a real talent to spout such nonsense with such sincerity. What's even more absurd is that the Saint actually means it.
[It wasn't just for your sake, Lord Joker; it was a sufficiently beneficial and joyful time for me as well. Especially the last 400 years.]
"Spending every single day unable to move in pitch-black darkness, only getting to talk to me for twenty minutes a day?"
[Happiness and pleasure depend on one's mindset. What might have been an endless bore to someone else was, for me, a precious time to cultivate my mind.]
"Anyone can say that. Two hundred years ago, when I was a few hours late with the communication, you were a total mess. I still can't forget the sound of your voice, panting, when you finally picked up."
I whispered, giggling as if teasing her. We had tacitly buried that incident, but I never thought I'd bring it up again.
[Shouldn't that be something you dwell on, Lord Joker, rather than me?]
"Huh? What do you mean by that?"
[It happened because you made me a woman who pines for your communication, and then you decided to be late on your own whim. So, who truly bears the responsibility?]
"...True, now that you mention it, it was my fault."
She's just taking it for granted that I'll communicate with her. Well, she's not wrong.
"But are you sure about this? What about your dream, Saint?"
[My dream?]
"You said you wanted to experience academy life with me. Didn't you want something like... a sweet, heart-fluttering romance?"
[I must yield it to my younger and purer self. It is not a waste. In the end, both are still 'me,' Maria. The Lord said that knowing how to give up one's most precious thing is the true virtue.]
That is a very Saint-like answer. Or rather, since not all Saints live their lives constantly reciting the Lord's doctrine, maybe I should call it a Maria-like answer.
"But you're always so jealous."
[...Pardon?]
"Am I wrong? You're always asking if something happened between me and the women in our party, acting all jealous. You just said yielding is the greatest virtue, so why can't you yield to me?"
[Lord Joker, that is a slightly different issue.]
"How is it different? You're okay with the young Saint, but you can't tolerate other people? Hmm, that makes sense. I get it."
[Lord Joker, you really do not understand women at all....]
The Saint was left speechless, as if she had nothing left to say. The corners of my mouth naturally curled up.
[...And, just because I am the night, doesn't mean I cannot enter the academy.]
"Huh?"
[On the contrary, the academy in the dead of night, where no one is watching... wouldn't that be the most suitable place for a secret rendezvous?]
"What are you talking about? Students are supposed to be in the dorms at night. You're not even allowed to leave the dorms."
[It's not that I cannot leave, but that I choose not to. In my previous life, I was a student who never broke a single school rule... but in this life, perhaps I could afford a little 'deviation.' It's not as if I'm harming anyone.]
This time, I was the one left speechless. The Saint let out a satisfied little giggle.
I think I underestimated her. She may be naive, but she isn't exactly pure.
"Well... we don't have much time, so let's stop talking about the distant future. As for what's happening today... I told you last time, right?"
[Yes, I heard that the Hero Party is coming.]
"Just so we're clear, I'm not saving them. Just like the original history, I'll let them die according to the law of the jungle."
[I know. Life and death are the will of the Lord; I, too, oppose you forcing the providence of the world, Lord Joker.]
"But you'll save the weak if they're right in front of you, Saint."
[That is an ambiguous situation. It's not as if the Dragon King attacked first; the Hero Party invaded first. Yet, the Hero Party isn't acting out of a desire for meaningless slaughter, so is it not difficult to distinguish between good and evil?]
An ordinary human would naturally see the slaying of magical beasts as right, but the Saint is not like that. Firmly believing that all life is a creation of the Lord, she treats even a mere magical beast with benevolence.
It was like that from the moment we first met. The Saint embraced me with love and acceptance. That is what moved me.
"But, still."
[Yes.]
"Even you, Saint, don't treat magical beasts and humans as exactly the same. Same goes for other animals."
[That is true.]
"You eat meat, don't you? You don't consider the act of eating other creatures a taboo. Magical beasts aren't any different from cows, chickens, or pigs. If anything, they're more malicious, just as the doctrine states. Ultimately, shouldn't we admit that humans, at the top of the continent's food chain, are superior to any other species? Even though I'm not human."
[You are correct. All life continues by consuming other life, and that too is the will of the Lord. I simply believe it is ideal to live with a heart of gratitude toward the lives used as our daily bread. However....]
"However?"
The Saint paused for a moment before continuing, as if carefully choosing her words.
Though our communication time is short, I prefer this over someone who speaks without thinking.
[Now that I hold a demon in my heart, how could I label magical beasts as evil and harbor such a prideful mind?]
"...."
The Saint loves me. According to the laws of the Church, a nun serving God is forbidden from associating with any member of the opposite sex, but she loves me passionately enough to break even those laws. To some, it might be a minor rebellion, but for a Saint who has never broken a rule in her life, it is a monumental change.
But I am a demon. A demon that anyone belonging to the Church should instinctively slay upon sight. That ridiculous contradiction is what puts the Saint in such a difficult position.
[No matter how humble a life may be, good and evil both coexist within the heart. As an apostle of the Lord, it is my calling to nurture that goodness. Some claim that monsters are absolute evil and merely minions of darkness that must be exterminated, but I have already seen many examples of magical beasts possessing a spark of goodness.]
"Like who, for example?"
[Lilith, the Western Duke, who felt a pang of conscience and refrained from treating the citizens of the Western Continent harshly after I released her without a single scratch. Oscar Lucifer, the Northern Duke, whom the whole world condemned as a devil, yet who truly harbored a considerate heart for others. And of course, the innocent goblin Meta, whom I hear about through your shoes, Lord Joker.]
I didn't expect the Saint to mention Meta. I recalled Meta's image from earlier today, shouting with an innocent smile after crushing the Skeleton Colony and turning them all into familiars. Hey, Saint, that's not it. That kid is just a little devil.
[At any rate, today is the day the Hero Party arrives.]
"Yeah, I'm going to make sure things flow as closely to the original history as possible."
[I will pray for good fortune to follow you, Lord Joker. I hope everything goes according to your wishes. And....]
"And?"
[I love you. I really wanted to be the first to say it today.]
"Pfft!"
What is that? She's acting like a child. Why does it even matter who says it first? How childish.
It's almost offensive that she's keeping track of the order. Next time, I'll definitely be the first one to say it. It makes it seem like her love for me is greater than mine for her. My pride is taking a hit.
"Fine, I love you too."
Click—.
I cut the connection just before the time ran out. It was another productive conversation. I even learned that the future Saint will become a being with different personalities for day and night.
Now I should head back to the group. Since the Hero Party is arriving, if any of my companions happen to cross paths with them and distort history....
Rustle—.
I whipped my head around at the sound of shaking bushes and leaves. I had been so focused on the communication with the Saint that I failed to notice my surroundings. I didn't think any of my companions would follow me while I was taking a private break.
The energy is small in volume but intense in density. That means it's a strong person with a small frame. Dammit, who is it? It can't be the King of Humans. It's likely Beatrice, Aru, or Uriel. It's fine if it's Aru, but please tell me it's not Uriel. It would be quite troublesome if an angel found out I traveled back in time.
"Huh? A person? Is that a person?"
Contrary to my guess, what I heard was the voice of a young boy. I turned my head further. Only then did a creature, which had been invisible until now, enter my field of vision.
A shabby magic robe, a magician's hat pulled down low enough to cover the ears, large round glasses that obscured the face, and green hair poking out from under the hat.
- I may not be able to kill you...! But I will definitely drag you down with me! Big-Bang!
It was quite different from the image engraved in my memories, but there was no mistaking who it was.
The Great Sage, Merlin Gregory.
It was an unexpected encounter with the human who, in my previous life, rained down 9th Circle Great Magic with everything they had, leaving me trembling in a seizure on the verge of death.