46
Chapter 46
[J-Jealousy...?!]
"I think you are. Doesn't it bother you, hearing Aru cry out on my lap while following my orders? That's what jealousy is. Though you've probably never felt it in your life."
[No. Jealousy is a vulgar emotion born from a narrow heart. How could I possibly harbor such feelings...]
"Really? Then it's fine if I only play with Aru, right? Since you're not jealous."
[...]
The answer the Saint should have given does not come.
I smirked.
I wonder if the Saint, who always wore a generous smile, is still smiling at this moment? I'm genuinely curious.
"Don't deny it. Jealousy isn't something to be ashamed of. Whether you're a man or a woman, it's a natural emotion. It's only natural to feel envious when you see someone you like getting close to another of the opposite sex. That's what we call jealousy."
[...Is that so?]
"Yeah, hehehe."
[To harbor such a shallow emotion as jealousy... It seems my discipline is still lacking. I must strive to be more steadfast.]
"Hahaha! Only the Saint could wrap up being jealous in such a sophisticated way!"
Lacking discipline, she says.
It's a remark steeped in a Saint's elegance. The phrasing of an educated person.
"Hahaha, alright. Since you've finally admitted it, I'll give you some good news."
[And what might that be?]
"As you know, Saint, there are many kinds of love. There's the love between partners that people usually think of, but also the love between parents and children, friends, siblings, and so on... I mean, the word 'love' doesn't always refer to romantic feelings between genders."
[That is correct.]
"Among those is the Lord's love. You'd know that well, wouldn't you? Because that's what you showed me while we were in Tartarus. Even though your love gradually shifted into a romantic kind."
[That is true.]
"My point is, you don't have to be jealous. Because what I pour into Aru is only the Lord's love that you taught me."
[Ah...!]
"You know? You're the only person I've ever had a wet dream about. I don't think I need to explain further, do I?"
[Hehe, hehehe—.]
The Saint's voice overflows with a soft sense of emotion. Soon, a laugh that sounded somewhat eerie yet satisfied spread through the air.
I say wet dream, but in reality, it's just satisfying a desire through imagination during sleep; is that really something to be so grateful for? I really can't understand females.
"Woof? What are you talking about?"
Aru, who was lying on my lap being petted, looks at me with a grumpy expression.
"I'm saying I love you, you little thing."
"Woof woof... More meat. I did everything you told me to."
"Here, go eat."
"Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof woof!"
Whoosh—!
Aru ran off in the direction I threw the meat, barking excitedly. Once the distraction was gone, I turned my gaze back to the cross.
Then, the Saint spoke.
[I love you too.]
"Out of nowhere?"
[Sincerely, truly, I love you more than anything. I would do anything for you, Joker.]
"Knowing your current state, it's chilling to think those words aren't a lie. Hey, is a Saint of the Holy Church even allowed to do that? Priests serving God are supposed to be pure in both body and mind."
At my sharp remark, the Saint's breath trembled slightly. Is she suddenly remembering her duties as a priest? Why not just admit it and embrace the corruption?
[It is not a problem.]
"Huh? Why?"
[It is currently the Imperial Year 214. From the year 114 to 394, the Church permits priests to marry and even encourages them to have a single partner. It was a rule following the Messiah's doctrine to 'be fruitful and multiply.']
Ah, right. I've heard of that.
Eventually, as the Church grew corrupt and the private lives of priests became increasingly scandalous, a Saint of that era finally banned marriage and romantic relationships for all priests.
It was a massive event. Because of it, many believers who were accustomed to a decadent lifestyle left the Holy Church. In hindsight, it was the right move. Five hundred years later, the Holy Nation became the most conscientious of the Seven Nations.
[Therefore, until the Imperial Year 394, I can openly date you, Joker.]
"It's only at a call-level connection, though."
[It is a grace-filled time. Besides... every priest has some small deviations. The Church turns a blind eye to it.]
"Kwahahaha! Right, you're allowed to deviate, Saint! You're the only Apostle of the Lord I actually acknowledge! But aren't the others a bit shameless? There are plenty of guys whose entire lives are one big deviation!"
[There are so many virtuous priests. You simply haven't met them, Joker.]
"Keke, is that how it is? Then introduce me to some later! That sounds like fun."
I still have a mountain of things I want to talk about with the Saint, but nearly twenty minutes have already passed.
It was only twenty minutes, but it was the most welcome time I've had since my regression.
"We can still communicate tomorrow, right?"
[Yes. As much as you wish.]
"I just need to cast Tell Magic, right?"
[Yes, I shall be waiting patiently.]
"Ha, what were you thinking, doing all this? What if I betray you? You would have spent five hundred years suffering for nothing."
[When you spoke to me at the guillotine, I felt your unwavering sincerity. I believed in you, Joker.]
"Sigh, my mouth's getting tired from all this. I'm hanging up. See you tomorrow."
[Yes. May you stay safe. Oh, and... could you put the Wolf King on for a moment?]
Just seconds before the connection cut, the Saint spoke softly. I decided to grant her request.
"If the Saint asks, of course I'll do it. Aru! Come here!"
"Woof woof!"
"Here, put your ear to this cross."
"Woof!"
Then, I switched Aru over as the Saint requested.
With only a second left before the connection cut, the Saint whispered softly.
[Go on and run far ahead for the next five hundred years. After that, the time belongs to me forever—.]
"Woof?"
With Aru's innocent response, the communication ended.
*****
A space layered in deep darkness on all sides.
A place of pure silence, void of light, sound, or wind.
The Spirit Realm.
A realm where civilization does not exist—where existence itself should be impossible—yet even here, there is a floor.
A massive, disc-shaped stone floor.
In the center of that stone floor stands a pillar reaching high into the sky. Even though the sky is merely a void of darkness without a single speck of light, and gravity is absent, making the distinction between up and down meaningless.
In the Spirit Realm, 'down' is defined as where the stone floor is. Thus, the direction the pillar rises is indeed the sky. A strange sky where no starlight, moonlight, or sunlight can be found, no matter how hard one looks.
Attached to the top of the pillar was a short cross-beam traversing the vertical column. An infinitely vast pillar in the shape of a cross. This was the entity situated at the heart of the Spirit Realm.
And at the center of that 'cross,'
"Urgh...!"
A human woman hung there in the form of a soul.
With her arms spread wide. Or more accurately, forced open. Held by massive nails the size of human arms.
"Gasp...! Haa, ugh, uuuh..."
Though she desperately wanted to struggle, she was trapped in a succession of agony, unable to move an inch because of the nails. The woman twisted her waist, letting out cries of pain.
Her name was Maria. She was born with a great destiny: to become the one and only Saint of the Holy Church some five hundred years into the future.
Though right now, she was nothing more than a prisoner paying the price of causality.
"Haa, haa... ugh! Uuuugh..."
Harrowing moans flowed from the woman's chapped lips. The groans she had suppressed by clenching her teeth while chatting into the void just moments ago now leaked out. Her breath came in ragged gasps.
"Urgh... My, my Lord..."
Maria repeated the name of her master in a desperate voice. There was no answer.
Maria believed. She believed that her Lord was by her side, unseen, watching over her with benevolent grace. She held a firm faith.
However, the only things by her side were the cold iron cross and the solitude of loneliness.
There was pain.
There was hardship.
There was no hope, no warmth, no light, and no grace.
Was this truly what the Lord intended?
"Blasphemous... distracting thoughts..."
It is blasphemy.
And a vain distraction.
"Love... love... love..."
Darkness is like a parasite. It hardens the human heart, forcing one to dwell on thoughts they would never normally consider.
Like a child imagining ghosts after lying in bed and turning off the lights.
Within Maria's heart, the parasite of blasphemy was attempting to take root.
But Maria was different.
"Gaze only upon the radiant Lord... with a steadfast heart..."
The fortress of faith that Maria had built up.
"Love those around me... love the world... and love Him."
It was not something to be so easily eroded by blasphemy.
Do not doubt.
The moment you doubt hope, only despair remains.
Even if despair fills every corner, believe only in hope.
Maria engraved this into her noble spirit.
"My faith... is directed toward the Lord."
"My hope... is found in Him."
"And this too, is the Lord's grace..."
In truth, until the communication with Oscar was connected, Maria had been shivering in fear.
She had been sending Morse code for days, but Oscar had coincidentally failed to notice. Unaware of the situation, Maria believed she had been abandoned for five hundred years and shed tears that could not be wiped away.
In that moment, the communication magic arrived like a miracle.
Whether that was truly the Lord's grace.
Or if it was simply that the demon named Oscar had finally discovered the Morse code and activated the magic.
No one knows. Maria believed in both.
"Love..."
Maria's single word sank heavily. Now that she could see, yet in a world where nothing remained to be seen, Maria quietly closed her eyes.
And there was a being watching Maria from a distance.
A colorless, odorless void of cosmic space where nothing should exist.
A space meant solely for punishment, where absolutely nothing should be present.
Yet, a child stood there, twisting the laws of providence.
From a place so distant that no light could reach, a child gazed at Maria with a darkened stare. A completely dry, expressionless face.
Black sunglasses, dark as the abyss, and shimmering red horns emitted a faint light within the darkness.