44
Chapter 44: The White Radiance and the Nail of Causality
"Woof woof! Woof woof woof woof!"
A strange voice.
Where is it coming from?
I don't sense anyone around.
I have to bark.
It could be dangerous.
The young demon is still hurting.
I must protect them.
"Woof woof woof woof woof! Woof woof woof woof!"
My captain, my only captain.
Anything that could put the young demon in danger must not be left alone.
But I have no power.
That's why I must bark.
"Woof woof woof woof! Woof woof woof woof woof woof!"
Ouch.
My throat stings.
It's because I've been barking too much lately.
But I can't stop here.
I cannot hesitate.
I have to drive away that mysterious voice as quickly as possible...
[Heal-.]
Whoosh—!
Huh?
Everything is bright.
My throat doesn't hurt.
My chest feels warm.
It's cozy.
*****
[Lord Joker, can you hear me?]
It's the Saint.
I knew instinctively the moment I heard it. A simple voice I had heard until I was sick of it in Tartarus, yet one I never once grew tired of. That modest voice.
"And who might this be?"
I spoke those words on purpose. It was a kind of test. Because those were the very first words exchanged when I first met the Saint, guided by Kelth, the jailer of Tartarus. If the owner of the voice coming from the rosary really was the Saint, she would surely understand...
[It is a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to your kindness.]
"...! Ahahaha! If it isn't the great Saint of the Sun herself!"
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!
It's the Saint I know. Saint Maria, who shouldn't be born for another 500 years, is talking to me right now. The hair on my body stood on end as if dancing. A wave of tremors surged through me, electrifying my senses. Especially my hearing.
[And you, would you happen to be Lord Joker, the second-in-command of the Demon Army?]
"Puhahaha! Saint! How on earth is this possible! I never could have imagined this!"
[Haha, it has been a long time. I cannot tell you how much I missed your voice, Lord Joker.]
This is Saint Maria, the anomaly, the goal, and the Lord of this second playthrough. Unable to hide my joy, I burst into loud laughter. I thought I'd have to wait 500 years to meet her, but to think we'd reunite in such a way. Of course, we aren't facing each other in person yet. But it is an undeniable fact that being able to communicate like this is nothing short of a miracle.
"Woof woof woof woof! Strange voice! Woof woof woof!"
Aru barks upon hearing the Saint's voice. This brat was just tearing into meat beside me while I was turning the rosary this way and that; since when did he start pretending to protect me?
"Woof woof woof! Cough, cough! Woof woof woof woof woof!"
Rough coughing is mixed in between the fierce howling. I was worried about Aru's throat, and it seems it really is in bad shape. Well, he has been barking way too often lately. Maybe I should take him to a vet.
[Lord Joker, what is that sound?]
The Saint's voice from the rosary pierces my ears. I replied with a chuckle.
"The Wolf King Rua. No, Aru."
[Are you saying those chirping sounds belong to the Wolf King?]
"Yep, I seduced her. Using the love you taught me. I did well, didn't I?"
I, your apostle, seduced her with the love you taught me. You're going to praise me, right?
[...You seduced, her?]
The Saint's gentle voice turned quite chilly. Huh? Why is she acting like that? I simply practiced what the Saint taught me with sincerity.
"Uh, is there a problem?"
[...It is nothing. However... her throat doesn't sound very healthy.]
"You can tell too, right? She barks so much it's a problem. What if she gets vocal nodules or something?"
[Would it be alright if I offered a little help?]
"Help? Go ahead. You're not the kind of person to do anything harmful, Saint."
[You needn't worry about that. Please point the rosary toward the Wolf King.]
I obediently followed the Saint's instructions. In my experience, I had never once suffered a loss by listening to her. Though that experience only spanned a week, the title of the most wise human on the continent doesn't just disappear.
[Heal-.]
As the Saint chanted the spell in a calm voice, pure white holy power bloomed from the rosary. The holy power looked around briefly, spotted the coughing Aru, and drifted toward her. It was the same way the Saint had treated my neck in Tartarus. It seemed she was exercising the power of healing.
The white light aura seeped into the wolf girl's mouth. Aru was bewildered at first, but her body naturally relaxed as a sense of stability washed over her mind and soul.
"Ugh..."
And then, the Saint spoke.
[I pray to the good and merciful Lord.]
Ah.
[Please, grant Your mercy to this pitiful and poor lamb. Grant me Your great power so that Your servant may fill the world with a clear song.]
Those words. The phrases of true faith that only the Saint could utter, which I had missed so desperately.
[...Even if there be walls of distant dimensions between us, grant me the holy power of love through Your omnipotent authority and allow this precious healing.]
Whoosh—!
Aru's face relaxed with fatigue. The white radiance slowly faded. Once the process was complete, Aru touched her neck a few times, let out an "ah—" and jumped in surprise. Her voice was far too clear.
I wasn't surprised. Instead, I spoke softly toward the other side of the rosary.
"You're definitely the Saint I know."
[Haa, haa....]
Aru played with her recovered throat with a look of wonder. Fortunately, her wariness toward the Saint coming from the rosary seemed to have faded significantly. It made sense. The Saint is a friend to all beings. She is the incarnation of love, whose mere presence makes one's heart feel full.
However, my wounded pride couldn't be helped. It took days for her to stop being wary of me, yet she's perfectly calm with the Saint immediately. What a spineless wolf.
What can I do? This is the fate of a villain. I'll just have to bear it.
The Saint let out a breath that sounded considerably more tired. To her, I moved my lips as if whispering.
"Now then, let's talk."
[Mm....]
"There's so much I've wanted to ask. How I regressed, how the Saint's rosary got here, what the Saint knew. And..."
The most important thing.
"I'm so curious about where you are right now, Saint."
Faced with this rapid-fire barrage of questions, the Saint paused for a moment before answering.
[I will answer each of your questions slowly. However....]
"However?"
[I also have many things I wish to ask you, Lord Joker. For instance, where exactly you are now, what you've been through until now, whether you've met the Demon King. And...]
"And?"
[...I request an immediate explanation regarding your relationship with that Wolf King. Since you asked first, I shall answer first. Please take your time thinking about the answers to my questions, Lord Joker.]
What the, why is she emphasizing Aru so much? We are simply a captain and subordinate bound by love.
[First, regarding your regression... by any chance, are you aware of Cronos, the God of Time?]
"Yeah, I happened to find out a bit about him."
[Though Cronos is the god who governs time, even he cannot rewind time at will whenever he pleases. It is said that a preparation period of 111 days is required.]
"I know that already. That's why I suspect the Demon King is behind the regression. But I don't know the motive."
[Mm... the Demon King likely isn't doing this alone.]
"You mean there's another accomplice besides the Demon King? Now that's interesting."
[...There is one person I suspect. I cannot tell you yet since it is not certain.]
The Saint spoke with an infinitely serious voice. Now that my movements were free, if she were in front of me, I would have pinched those cute cheeks to break her seriousness, which is a shame.
By the way... haven't we had a conversation like this before?
"Back when I asked you about the Demon King's intentions."
[Yes.]
"You didn't answer then either, did you? Saying it wasn't certain. I think you knew even then that the Demon King was going to make me regress."
[Yes, but at that time, I lacked conviction.]
"But in the end, I was right. Saint, just tell me. I trust your intuition."
[If I were wrong, would that not be a hindrance to you?]
I blinked at the Saint's cautious tone. What, was she worried about causing me even a shred of harm? Good grief, what a stiff woman. That's why I was captivated, though.
"Who cares if you're a bit wrong? Just frame it as 'this could happen,' and that's it."
[But....]
"It's fine, I won't resent you. If it's wrong, it's wrong. I'll listen to you even if I'm being fooled, so just tell me already."
[...Then, I shall tell you.]
The sound of the Saint taking a deep breath came through the rosary. She must have needed a deep breath. It sounded a bit hurried.
[......I am sorry. I do not think I should speak recklessly on this matter.]
"?? Come on, Saint. I told you it's fine if you're wrong!"
[It is not Lord Joker, but 'that person' who might be harmed. Please understand.]
The Saint is a woman of unwavering conviction. She won't give me an answer just because I push her.
"Tsk, I guess it can't be helped then."
[I am sorry.]
"Whether you tell me or not is up to you, so no need to apologize. Just tell me about this rosary. How did you do it? How did you bring me back to the past with you?"
To the next question, the Saint answered immediately. She must have felt a considerable amount of guilt for not answering my previous query.
[Do you remember the final moment, when we both stood upon the guillotine?]
"Of course. How could I forget that? It's my most intense memory. Do you think experiencing decapitation alongside the woman you love is a common thing?"
[...At that moment, after hearing you say that the Demon King did not attend the execution, I became certain. Since the 111-day imprisonment period had ended, I realized it was finally time for you to regress, Lord Joker.]
"Hoh..."
Perhaps she was out of breath from speaking so much; the Saint paused for a moment to catch her breath before continuing.
[However, I could not let you go as you were. It wasn't just because of my mission; I genuinely wanted to reform you. But I did not know how many years you would regress. I feared that if you regressed for a very long time, the resolve you forged at the guillotine might fade.]
"Now I get it. The 500 years."
[Therefore, I gathered as much remaining holy power as I could and infused it into the rosary I gave you. It was a sort of... gateway, so to speak. To be precise, I synchronized the rosary with myself.]
"Huh? Synchronization?"
[It was possible because it was an object I had possessed my entire life. Because it was done in haste, constant synchronization is impossible; it only works for about twenty minutes a day. For now, we can only communicate via voice, but... if you use more magic, Lord Joker, it may become possible for me to see or feel things through this rosary.]
"Wow, you set that all up in such a short time? You're quite the talent, Saint."
[It is but a humble skill.]
If the senses are synchronized... hoh, that means all of the Saint's sensations will be transmitted through this rosary. When that day comes, I should try tickling the Saint. Since the cross is shaped like a person, I can just fiddle with where the horizontal and vertical lines meet. I'm truly curious to see how the pristine Saint would react.
"So, you set this up in case I strayed from the path? With this rosary?"
[Yes.]
"Seems like a waste of effort. I was doing just fine on my own. I even saved the poor Wolf King. She even believes in the Lord now."
[Oh, is that truly the case?]
With a small gasp, the Saint asked the question in a voice brimming with endless joy.
"Of course. Why would I have any reason to lie to you, Saint?"
Though, as if remembering something, she immediately became suspicious.
[However... when you believed in the Demon God, did you not tell suggestive jokes to the Demon God as well?]
"Keke, of course I did! There's nothing more thrilling than committing blasphemy!"
[...This is why I wish to see you. I feel that reforming you alone will not be easy. I feared your heart might change over five hundred years, so I made it possible to at least reach you with my voice.]
"Ahahaha, well done. Well done. As expected, the Saint is wise. You remembered something I said in passing."
I laughed loudly. Indeed, you can't think of me as just some ordinary apostle of the Lord!
"I'm also curious about what you meant at the end. When you told me to come to Eden Academy."
[That meaning remains unchanged. I wish for you to come to Eden Academy and meet me, Lord Joker.]
"I mean, why?"
[You said you wanted to learn about love. I wish to help that noble intent, but currently, I can only speak with you through a form of voodoo. In fact, if you hadn't recognized the code I set, this too would have been ignored.]
"Keke, it was nice seeing Morse code after so long."
[And... also....]
"Hm?"
The Saint trailed off, unlike her usual self. Her voice trembled shyly. As if she were some adolescent girl.
[Isn't having a secret romance while attending an academy... a romance that any girl would have dreamed of in her youth?]
"Puhahahahaha!"
I burst into loud laughter the moment I heard the Saint's embarrassed confession. The Saint, seemingly shy herself, remained silent.
"Right, right! Everyone has those kinds of dreams as boys and girls! But I didn't know the old maid Saint would be like that!"
[In my previous life, I had no interest in such romantic affairs. Not until I met you, Lord Joker.]
"Saint, you're blind. Does a confession made without even knowing my face have any meaning? What if you're disappointed when you see me in this life!"
[I fell for you, Lord Joker, not for your appearance. Especially since I heard you are a master of disguise; what meaning does an appearance even have?]
"Keke, not a single word wrong there."
A response perfectly fitting for the Saint. I don't know if a priest, who must keep body and soul pure while serving God, is allowed to say such things.
"I have more I want to ask. Can I?"
[By all means.]
"Saint, where are you right now?"
[....]
In truth, the most important question. The Saint is someone born 500 years in the future. In other words, her very existence in this era is impossible. Even if she regressed with me.
[I am with the Lord.]
"No, no. I asked where you are. How should I know where the Lord lives?"
[Since I do not know where I am, I cannot inform you.]
"Really? I thought the Lord lived in Heaven. How strange."
[Is that so.]
"Or maybe I should travel the entire continent? Perhaps you're in one of those places?"
[It would be useless. Since I currently exist as a soul without a body, it's impossible for me to be in the lower world.]
"Is that so? But it's a bit weird."
I had felt it from the moment I first heard her voice. A struggle that she kept trying to hide, but ultimately could not. The Saint's voice I heard every day in Tartarus would have been best described as faded. It was due to the harsh hardships and the bleak environment of that place. But the voice I hear now...
"Why are you panting so much?"
[....]
"It sounds like you're forcing yourself to endure pain every time you open your mouth. Saint, are you being tortured by that 'Lord' guy? Just tell me and I'll beat him up. I'll beat him into a pulp."
[I am fine.]
"I'm not fine. How can I be at ease when there's such strain in your voice?"
[It is no problem. I simply must endure.]
"There you go again, gritting your teeth. Does your lip hurt? And what? Endure? Endure what?"
[....]
"Saint, at least tell me what's around you. There's no need to wait five hundred years. I'll just come find you."
[....]
"I read in a book that to defy time, one must offer something to Cronos. Be honest, what did you offer? You didn't offer anything weird, did you?"
[....]
"Tell me quickly, Saint. Otherwise, I'll spend the next five hundred years searching only for you. If you want to watch me waste my life for five hundred years, then stay quiet."
I spoke with a firm resolve, as if issuing a threat. I was also slightly angry. It was because the Saint was manifesting pain. Just like when I got angry in Tartarus because the jailers gripped her wrists too tightly as she left.
[It does not matter, as someone else paid the price on your behalf, Lord Joker.]
"It's probably the Demon King or that accomplice you mentioned."
[It was not. To accompany your regression from the guillotine, I had to pay my own price.]
"So what was it?"
[My freedom for the next five hundred years.]
"...."
[I am currently hanging from a cross created by causality. My wrists are pierced by nails born of causality. Should you come to find me and attempt to liberate me, I, having defied causality, would simply vanish.]
The Saint spoke these words with utter composure. But to me, they were unimaginably heavy.
[Is that what you wish, Lord Joker?]
"...Damn it."
[For the next five hundred years, I will assist you through this rosary. After that, I shall be reborn, and we will reunite at Eden Academy.]
"Sigh... does it hurt? You said both your wrists are pierced by nails on a cross."
[It is the path I chose. I must naturally bear it.]
"Shit... so that's what you meant by being with the Lord? Because you're on a cross?"
[That is not necessarily the reason. The Lord is always within my heart.]
Causality refers to the providence of give and take. If there is yang, there is yin; if something is added, something else is subtracted. To make bread, one must consume flour and grain. We pay with flour and grain to obtain bread. What the Saint did was of the same nature. She paid with her freedom to buy memories.
"Ha, hahaha. This is truly absurd."
She didn't want to forget her memories of me. For that reason alone. To help reform an enemy with whom she had spent barely a week, someone she had opposed until then.
"Saint, do you realize what you've just done?"
[Please tell me.]
"You were twenty-eight in your previous life, right? You gave up a span of time nearly twenty times the length of your life just to talk to me for twenty minutes a day. Can you even imagine how painful that is?"
[I am fine. I simply must endure.]
"If you had children, this is a monumental stretch of time that would last until your child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child's child died! As a demon, my lifespan is long enough that it doesn't matter, but you're just a human! A fragile human who lives a hundred years at most! Do you know how foolish this act is?"
Overcome with anger, I questioned her. There is no way she could endure it. A wretched species like a human, and one who had lived only twenty-eight years. How could she endure such a vast amount of time, nailed to a cross for another...
[I simply must endure.]
"...."
[Even so, I can speak with you for about twenty minutes a day. To be able to converse with the one I love is a time as sweet as honey, so I hope you will be a bit gentler with me. If I hear harsh words from you, the remaining 23 hours and 40 minutes will be very grueling.]
"...."
[I feel only discomfort and guilt, as if I am forcing you because of my own greed.]
I had been arrogant. I mistakenly believed that spending seven days and nights with her meant I understood everything about the Saint. I overlooked that she was the human who alone withstood a hundred thousand soldiers of the Demon Army for twenty days after all other races had surrendered. I looked down on the fact that she was a woman who tore her own meals in half to give to a scum like me. I dared to forget how sincere and devoted the Saint was to my reformation.
The price of that is the current ache in my chest. An ache coming from a heart being torn apart. In my entire life, not even when Adela died for me, had I ever felt something like pity. Only the Saint makes me feel this strange emotion.
I still cannot understand her.