Vestige (3)
Vestige (3)
"Then explain it to me. Why waste your time practicing a spell that ridiculous? It isn't as though you're in the Magic Department."
Levina sat on the sofa, crossed her legs, and kept going.
Her voice had a jagged edge, like broken glass.
"You do realize someone is dead."
"I know. So what?"
"Even if you didn't do it, Ravin, it's still your doing."
I pulled a cigarette from my coat.
I bit down gently on the end, lit it, and drew the smoke in.
I exhaled in Levina's direction.
The gray haze unfurled between us like a thin curtain.
Levina didn't flinch or wave it away. She just stared at me. She did pick up my water glass and take a sip—a dry throat, perhaps—but that was all.
"Ravin, I'm going to expel you from the family now.
You won't even be permitted to use the Edelgard name."
"......."
When I didn't react, she grew a little more animated, like a child rattling off spoilers to a film we had already seen together.
"I'll cut off the money that used to flow the moment you asked Father.
If I hear even a whisper of you misbehaving, I will find a way to have you thrown out of the Academy. Personally."
A dry laugh escaped me.
The Levina who once said she had to love me overlapped with the Levina sitting here now.
Did she still believe that?
No matter how many times I died, Levina stayed utterly consistent.
Not one thing about her ever changed.
Confronted with that unwavering, pigheaded nature, I let out that hollow laugh. Levina, clearly affronted, arched one eyebrow and spoke.
"What's so funny? Can't believe it? Getting kicked out?"
She traced the rim of her glass on the table with her index finger.
"Since the Belluz family is already discussing an annulment, I'll be severing things between you and Serepina as well."
The name brought back the Serepina I'd met a few days ago.
Even if I were the one to break away first, I had a feeling Serepina would come looking for me.
"Think we'll split that easily? It didn't look so simple last time."
"What could that girl—too busy being pushed around by everyone—possibly do for you?"
Another dry laugh left me.
I'd seen with my own eyes exactly how much Serepina could do for me.
Seen it so clearly I couldn't deny it.
Levina studied my expression, stared into space for a moment, then tightened her grip on her glass. The knuckles of her pale fingers stood out, sharp and white.
"So stop wasting time on that pathetic magic.
Focus on what you should be doing and just graduate.
Then I'll let you stay in the annex for a while. When I become family head, I'll even make a suitable position for you."
"No."
"What?"
A flicker of bewilderment crossed Levina's face.
"I said no."
I stubbed out the nearly spent cigarette in the ashtray, slipped a new one between my lips, and lit it.
Without something like this, enduring Levina's presence was often too much.
"Are you aware of the situation you're in?"
"Painfully."
"Then...!"
Just as Levina's voice began to rise, I kicked the table in front of her.
The glass on it crashed to the floor and shattered, the table toppling sideways.
I grabbed Levina by the collar and hauled her up from the sofa.
"Then what? Knowing the situation doesn't change much, I've found."
"Ravin, haven't I always told you to know your place?"
Levina grabbed at my wrist, trying to pry my hand from her collar.
"What I'm telling you now is that I'm taking you in myself. You don't need to stick your neck out and try something."
"I don't need it."
I flung her by the collar onto the bed.
"Even if you expel me from the family, you'll always come looking for me because you're worried."
"Why the hell would I do that for a family disgrace like you?
Save your pathetic bullshit."
She braced her arms against the mattress and tried to push herself up.
Her disheveled hair fell across her face.
"Why would I ever worry about someone like you... an illegitimate son of some whore who doesn't know his place and keeps crawling back...?"
I slapped Levina across the face. Her head snapped to the side.
A faint sting spread through my right hand.
I spat the cigarette from my mouth onto the floor.
I shoved Levina back down as she tried to rise, then climbed on top of her.
Right. This was always what we were.
I'd briefly forgotten, after spending a year trying to get close to her in my own way.
"Are you... out of your mind... right now?"
Levina pushed at my shoulders, but I didn't budge.
I stroked her cheek where the red imprint of my hand lingered.
Remembering the way she always used to caress my face.
"No... you'll worry about me."
I settled both thumbs over her throat and began pressing down slowly.
Levina's eyes flew wide open.
I felt her legs thrash wildly against the mattress through my thighs.
When I eased the pressure, she choked and gasped for air.
"Kgh, kkh... do you think this will change anything?"
I squeezed her throat again, tightening my grip, and leaned close to her ear.
"Who knows? Maybe it'll change a lot.
You don't actually hate me, Sister."
When I released my grip, Levina heaved in ragged breaths.
Her eyes had gone slightly unfocused, as if dazed.
Her gaze wandered the empty air.
"Haa... uh, ugh... Are you... are you really... Ravin?"
"Who else would I be?"
"Even if you've changed somewhat over the past few years... you always listened to what I said."
I seized Levina's face with my right hand.
Her cheeks bunched together, making her look absurdly like a duck.
"That's because I thought you might change a little too, you crazy bitch."
Tears welled in Levina's eyes as she shoved at me uselessly.
Her arms flailed in the air; her fist grazed past my face.
"......Ah."
She stopped the moment she realized she'd struck me.
A long fingernail had raked across my skin, leaving a thin line of blood.
I wiped roughly at the scratch on my cheek.
Then I slapped her again.
I squeezed her throat once more, and Levina grabbed onto my wrists.
Her resistance was far weaker than before.
I pushed my face close to hers.
"No matter what I do, you'll still like me.
After all, the only person who'll ever care for a piece of garbage like you—a horrible, pathetic bastard—is family."
Levina's lips trembled. She opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it, repeating the motion uselessly.
But no words came out.
Only a faint, gasping breath.
"Besides me, there's no one else who understands you, is there?"
Ragged breaths filled the empty room.
At some point, I put a fresh cigarette in my mouth and lit it.
"So if I ask for money, you'll bring it. Even if the family goes to ruin."
I blew smoke into her face.
Her pupils wavered in the haze.
The smoke must have stung her eyes, because fresh tears welled up, turning her gaze glazed and watery.
The expression suited those dry, gray eyes remarkably well.
"If your mother becomes a nuisance, you'll get rid of her if I tell you to.
I don't care what happens when you become family head."
I kept my left hand on her throat and stroked her hair with my right.
The silky strands slipped like water between my fingers.
"I won't stop you from backing that bastard Kyle and sponsoring him. But if he clashes with me, you'll take my side no matter how ugly it makes you."
"You... you think this... means I'll..."
Levina's voice came out cracked and broken.
"If I slap you, if I choke you, if I even try to kill you, or if I try to steal the seat of family head the way your mother always feared—you'll do everything I ask, won't you?"
"And if I don't... what will you do?"
Tears brimming in her eyes, Levina let out a hollow laugh, forcing a scornful tone.
It didn't mean much, given how violently her voice was shaking.
"I'll hate you. Genuinely."
Beneath me, Levina bit her lip and said nothing.
Only the tears kept falling, tracing silent paths down her cheeks.
I sat beside Levina, not stopping the right hand that kept stroking her hair.
She lay motionless on the bed.
The faint trembling of her lips and body slowly quieted.
A moment later, her eyes closed.
She turned her head slowly.
It wasn't to pull away from my touch.
She leaned deeper into it.
Her lips parted, just barely.
A silent sigh slipped out.
The frantic rise and fall of her chest gradually steadied.
Her regular breathing cut through the silence of the room.
Her fingers crept slowly across the blanket.
Almost as if she meant to clutch the bedsheets, but she didn't.
She grabbed my hand instead—the one still stroking her hair.
She held on tightly and didn't let go for a long time.
She turned her body away from me, but kept her grip on my right hand, clinging to it for what felt like an eternity.
The cigarette I'd been smoking had nearly burned out. I flicked the end of it with my middle finger and let it fall to the floor.