First (7)
First (7)
Morning arrived, surprisingly enough.
Divine power was certainly effective.
I'd seen swords coated with mana and mages summoning flames out of thin air, but none of it had ever felt real. Yet after my twisted body mended itself overnight, I could almost feel a speck of faith trying to take root somewhere inside me.
The Saintess's abilities really were as extraordinary as the rumors claimed.
I slowly sat up in bed.
The air in the room was still heavy, a mix of alcohol, tobacco, and a faint hint of blood. But threaded through all of it was the barely perceptible sweetness of apples.
A completely incongruous combination.
On the table sat the liquor bottle I'd been drinking, an ashtray, and a half-eaten apple someone had left behind. Two small bite marks stood out clearly.
The memory of Estelle's gaze surfaced—the way she'd looked at me, amused, as if I were a toy.
Why had Levina called Estelle instead of taking me to a hospital or a priest?
Because she didn't want the world to know the family disgrace had caused yet another incident?
Because they'd known each other since childhood?
I knew too well that just being a friend didn't mean she'd work for free. Estelle was a miser wrapped in a Saintess's robes.
Outside the window, the world was noisy—footsteps of students heading to lectures, cheerful laughter, the academy bell ringing in the morning.
That morning, I thought Levina would come again, step into my room, and hand me that final letter. After all, my expulsion was a foregone conclusion, the predetermined next step.
But nothing happened. Levina didn't come, and the academy sent no word.
Still, it was another new day.
I got up and changed into the spare uniform hanging on the rack—the only one that still looked passable on the outside. Yesterday's uniform was torn in places and stained with blood, a complete mess.
Then a thought struck me. What if nothing ever happened? What if the final notice from the family, the academy's expulsion—everything kept getting pushed back indefinitely? If I could somehow graduate—even with Serepina breaking the engagement, even with all the hostile stares, even with those thugs harassing me—if I could just graduate from this godforsaken academy, maybe I could find some sort of life. A quiet life in a small country village, where no one knew my face.
If that came to pass, I'd never get my reward, of course.
[Collect the Endings! 1/?]
[Reward: Return to the Original World]
I swiped uselessly at the message that refused to disappear.
Still, I didn't want to spend my whole life as a nameless nobody in this shitty world.
The thought vanished as quickly as it had come, swept away by a mocking laugh.
This world would never be that easy on me.
Nevertheless, I opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
Putting aside the family issues and the broken engagement with Serepina, my attendance was already hanging by a thread. Even if I got kicked out, there was a subtle difference between walking out on my own feet and being shoved out the door. The result might be similar, but still.
The hallway was crowded with students. The moment I appeared, their glances slid past me as if they'd spotted some exotic animal.
Those looks held the usual contempt mixed with curiosity.
The vile title of "the Edelgard brute" had apparently picked up yet another new label, as ever.
I ignored their stares and walked in silence toward the lecture hall.
Fortunately, no one like that vermin Marcus blocked my path. Nobody spoke to me; nobody even tried to meet my eyes. It felt less like being surrounded by people and more like being walled in.
It was the same when I entered the lecture hall. I sat in the very back and stared out the window.
The sky was clear—so clear that the me who'd had his head blown off might have felt a twinge of regret looking at it.
The lecture didn't register. The professor's voice was just meaningless noise drifting through my ears. I only wanted it to end.
When class was over and I stepped outside, someone blocked my path. The immaculately uniformed, oh-so-righteous student council president.
"Ravin Edelgard."
She—who would never normally stoop to such personal intervention—called my name in a stiff voice.
"You are to appear before the Disciplinary Committee at five o'clock this afternoon."
She held out a thin slip of paper. A summons.
Violent acts and bodily harm against Marcus and two others. Unnecessary cruelty. Defamation. All manner of plausible-sounding charges.
I took it.
"Fine," I answered shortly, and shoved the summons into my pocket.
The student council president—in other words, my half-sister Levina—frowned, but she said nothing more. She turned and walked away slowly.
Her back was as straight as ever.
I stared at the end of the hallway for a moment, then resumed walking. I had no intention of eating lunch. No appetite. All I could think about was going back to my room and finishing whatever alcohol was left.
On the way back to the dormitory, a familiar figure caught my eye. Serepina.
This time, she wasn't surrounded by friends as usual. She was sitting on a bench in front of the library with someone else—the original protagonist, Kyle.
When she saw me, Serepina's shoulders flinched. Our eyes met in midair. Her blue eyes were trembling.
Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but she ended up lowering her head without a word. Exactly like someone caught cheating.
Sensing something off with Serepina, Kyle turned to look where she was looking. And there stood a man notorious enough that the whole academy knew his face—the eccentric thug who'd picked a fight with him within a week of enrollment, who'd babbled nonsense not long after about wanting to be friends, about wanting to get close.
Kyle figured Ravin had come to hurt Serepina over the broken engagement. Based on everything he'd witnessed and everything the rumors said, Ravin was more than capable of it.
Kyle rose from the bench and walked toward me. A trace of contempt flickered across his face.
"What business do you have, Ravin? Got something more to say to Sera?"
Sera. Hmph, I hated that name. Trust a commoner to hack a perfectly fine name in half—so classless.
"Well. I couldn't possibly have no business with my fiancée." I said it deliberately, looking Kyle up and down with a sneer.
"I guess you heard I'm about to be kicked out of the family, too. Getting in my way must feel pretty easy now, huh?"
"The engagement is already broken. Stop tormenting someone over nothing and get lost."
"Tormenting? That's harsh. I just wanted to ask how she was doing, one last time. She had to put up with me for quite a while—must've been rough. Now that she's free, I wondered how she felt. Though it looks like she's already found a new master, so I suppose I worried for nothing."
Kyle's brow furrowed. I saw his fists tighten.
Ah, right. Kyle could beat me down right here and barely face any punishment. The academy's entrenched powers, starting with Levina, would cover for him.
Of course, that was a joke.
Even without their protection, the righteous protagonist always had the right to punish a third-rate villain like me.
"Shut your mouth, Ravin. Sera isn't your property."
"No, she's not property. Bit of a slut, though."
"You...!"
"It's not a noble thing—even commoners don't usually sit giggling alone with another guy the day after breaking off an engagement. Don't you think?"
At that, Serepina's face drained of color. Her eyes were filled with horror, revulsion, and deep hurt.
Looking at that expression, I felt a strange calm settle over me—and at the same time, something heavy sank in my chest.
Thwack!
Kyle's fist slammed into my face. Judging by his stance, he hadn't swung with full force—just a measured right hand, pulling his punch.
Something inside my mouth shattered, and I was fairly sure the nasal bone Estelle had just barely set yesterday had collapsed again. This was exactly why I hated dealing with ignorant knight bastards.
He'd gauged the punch so that I wouldn't be seriously hurt, just enough to make me back off. Otherwise he wouldn't be wearing that flustered expression now.
Kyle was a pitiful soul—no matter how hard he worked, barely anyone would ever recognize it. But unfortunately for me, with a happy ending awaiting him, he was still better off than I was, the man no one would ever acknowledge no matter what he did.
I staggered back a few steps. Along with the blood pooling in my mouth, I spat out a couple of tooth fragments onto the ground.
I wiped the blood from my lips with the back of my hand and tried to toss out some pathetic thuggish line, but no words came.
Serepina slapped Kyle across the face, then came over to me crying and steadied me.
And Kyle was still standing there looking dumbfounded.
She'd always pulled away whenever I approached. The girl I'd written letters to every day. Every day, I'd brought her things she liked... Fuck, what was the point of saying it.
I didn't shove her away. I just met her eyes calmly, then took hold of her shoulders and gently detached her.
I went back to my room and closed the door. I leaned against it and slid down to the floor.
A crushing exhaustion pressed down on me.
I pulled the disciplinary summons and a crumpled cigarette pack from my pocket. I put a cigarette between my lips and lit it. As I drew the smoke in deep, the nicotine threaded through my veins, clearing my head for a moment.
Estelle's words came back to me and I let out a dry laugh. She'd been right—it really tasted terrible.
Maybe it was because it was cheap. Or maybe it was because my life itself had no flavor.
Since things had already come to this, I'd thought about just saying whatever I wanted, one last time. Screaming that it wasn't me, that I'd been wronged—thrashing and hurling every curse I could think of.
No. What good would that do? I was probably no different from "Ravin" in the end.
With the same memories, the same appearance, the same thoughts and feelings, trying to separate us now was just laughable.
I had to go back. If I kept living as Ravin like this, I didn't think I ever would.
I ground out the cigarette on the floor.