Too Much Warmth
I was the one who wanted to ask him back: Why on earth is the Grand Duke saying that name right now?
Hiding my flustered state, I looked up at the Grand Duke and spoke.
"Your Highness. Isn't that the name of the Crown Prince of the Tenasis Empire?"
Wearing the innocent expression of someone who simply couldn't grasp his question, I pressed on.
"It's a name anyone of House Ballot ought to know, wouldn't you say?"
When I let out a lighthearted laugh—hahaha—the Grand Duke cut through it, cold as ice.
"Doesn't seem like the sort of name you'd call out so tenderly in your sleep."
"Pardon?"
I stared at him with wide, startled eyes.
"You're saying I talked in my sleep? That name?"
Seriously?! I sleep-talked? And of all things, Serhin's name?
Damn it all……. Causing an incident even while unconscious!
The Grand Duke said nothing, simply studying me. His violet eyes had grown distinctly sharp.
But glaring at me with those suspicious looks would get him nowhere.
Did he really think I'd just come clean here? I'd managed to hide my identity this long. Hah.
I decided shamelessness was my best policy.
"I must have been dreaming. I don't remember it, but for all I know, I was cutting down an enemy empire's crown prince in that dream."
"……."
"I'm well aware that House Ballot has spent long years locked in conflict with the Crown Prince of Tenasis over the Remarte Disputed Territory."
"……."
"So as the butler of the Grand Duke's house, how could I not feel rage at the man? My best guess is that fury simply surfaced as a dream."
I shrugged with practiced ease, spouting nonsense with a straight face, and the Grand Duke let out a small snort—a definite smirk.
Ahem. I turned my head away, avoiding his piercing gaze, and feigned nonchalance.
So I'd dreamed it. So in that dream I'd lopped off an enemy crown prince's head. What's he going to do about it?
I tossed his own mockery right back at him in my head.
Still, though…….
Why is Serhin in this body's childhood memories?
Were this body, the Grand Duke, and Serhin all tangled together somehow……? I couldn't find a single point connecting the three of them.
There's something there…….
I was frowning, lost in grave deliberation, when the Grand Duke—somehow already beside me—pressed his palm against my forehead.
"Eh?"
Oh? ……Oh?
I looked up at him with round, blinking eyes. His expression was as expressionless as ever, but the warmth of his palm was unmistakably gentle.
The noisy tangle of worries churning through my head evaporated in an instant.
The Grand Duke spoke.
"Good news is, it doesn't seem to be a fever."
"……."
Then his hand slipped away from my forehead. He gazed quietly into my eyes.
"Butler."
Something about the way he looked at me, something about the low timbre of his voice, felt oddly deep and searching—hard to face head-on. I turned away from that gaze and answered meekly.
"……Yes, Your Highness."
"If you keep collapsing like this, I'll bar you from participating in the Hunting Festival."
"Ex-CUSE me?!"
My head shot up, eyes round with shock. The Grand Duke let out a sigh.
"I'm telling you to take better care of yourself. There's not much time left before the Festival."
"Oh……. Of course, Your Highness."
"And eat more."
I tilted my head.
"……More than this?"
I already ate plenty as it was, didn't I?
The Grand Duke nodded.
"That's right. Eat as much as you like, no need to watch anyone. I won't be docking it from your wages, either."
As much as I like. No docking from wages. At those words, my eyes went wide and I answered with utmost solemnity.
"Yes, Your Highness. Such boundless grace—I shall repay it with my loyalty."
"……."
The Grand Duke looked at me as if I were utterly ridiculous, then broke into a small, genuine laugh.
Oh……. He laughed.
Not the smirks or the pointed sarcasm he usually wore—a real, honest laugh.
That's a first, seeing him laugh like that.
The Grand Duke rose from his chair and walked to the window. I watched his back in silence.
Truthfully, no one had ever made me feel guilty about how much I ate in the Grand Duke's residence.
The people of House Ballot had been nothing but kind to me from the start.
They'd offer me second helpings if anything—the last people to give me looks about it.
And yet, hearing him tell me to eat more still settled something warm and steadying in my chest. I couldn't help it.
This man. To think he'd weaponize my weakness for food this thoroughly.
Clever and meticulous, as always.
I pulled my gaze from his back and thought:
At this point, I had to admit it.
The people of this Grand Duke's residence are all good people.
And that obviously included the Grand Duke himself, and Lady Annette too.
For two years now, I'd been an outsider here—yet never once had I felt like one. Not a trace of alienation, not a moment of loneliness.
Even Lady Annette, whom I'd known barely a handful of days…….
My heart gave a sharp twinge. This was guilt, without question.
That feeling I'd had toward Lady Annette, who showed me such kindness. That same feeling toward the people of House Ballot, who treated me so well.
Day by day, the emotion I'd tried so hard to look away from twisted in my chest, gnawing at me.
Really…… this is not a place where I belong.
I slid off the bed, sneaking a sidelong glance at the wreckage I'd made of the Grand Duke's bedding, and spoke.
"I apologize for the trouble I've caused, Your Highness."
The Grand Duke turned to me.
"Don't return to work until you've fully recovered."
"……Pardon?"
When I echoed him in surprise, his voice hardened further.
"You are forbidden from using aura to lay barriers around the residence. And from entering the private training grounds."
"Ex-CUSE me?! Wait, Your Highness, why all of a sudden—."
"That's an order."
"……."
Unbelievable……. As I stared at him, dumbfounded, he turned away as if he had nothing more to say.
After leaving the Grand Duke's chambers, I came down to the first floor—intent on cleaning up the mess I'd made of his bed myself.
He said no butler duties, so I'll just have to ask the laundry staff on the first floor…….
The moment I arrived, Head Maid Barisol, who happened to be passing by, spotted me and came rushing over.
"Miss Freya!"
"Ah, Barisol. Perfect timing, actually. About the Grand Duke's chambers—."
"Miss Freya!"
"Oof!"
She swept me into a fierce hug, her voice wobbling with tears.
"You collapsed?! I knew it would happen! Didn't I tell you to pace yourself!"
"B-Barisol."
Holding me at arm's length, she looked me over from face to toe.
"Are you hurt anywhere? Does your head still ache? Is your stomach unsettled?"
"No, I'm truly all better now."
"Oh dear. Just look how pale your face is."
"N-no, this is—."
"You eat three or four times what the knights do and never gain an ounce, and it turns out you were just running yourself into the ground this whole time."
"……."
"Anyway, why did you even come down? Go upstairs and rest, right now. His Highness gave orders that you're not to take on any duties for the time being."
"……."
That's already been relayed?
So while I was lying there unconscious, everything had already been decided.
I was still hemming and hawing when Delia from the laundry emerged, apparently drawn by all the commotion on the first floor.
"Miss Freya!"
"Ah, Delia. Sorry, but about the Grand Duke's bed sheets and—."
"Waaah!"
"……Gah!"
Delia barreled into me at the exact same speed Barisol had, wrapping me in a crushing hug.
Wh-what is wrong with these people?!
"Delia?"
"From now on, moving the bed sheets and blankets is all mine to do! Miss Freya, you won't lay a finger on them! You keep running ahead and doing our work for us, and this is what happens!"
"……Delia, that's not really—."
Then Head Chef Lend, appearing out of nowhere, thrust a picnic basket brimming with snacks into my arms and sniffled at the tip of his nose.
"Clearly you fainted because you weren't eating your fill. I put together a little of everything you usually love. Eat up and get your strength back."
"……."
After that, Patrick the gardener brought me flowers said to have healing properties, cut from the temple gardens and potted with his own hands, and Ert from the library mentioned he'd already set a book in my room for me to read while I rested.
I assured every last one of them, repeatedly, that I was perfectly fine—but not a soul believed me.
They were like people who'd been lying in wait for their chance, all scrambling to shove me back toward my bedroom before I could slip away again.
"Go on up and rest now."
"Yes."
"Wash up and straight into bed, you hear?"
"Yes……."
"Miss Freya! This is dried sleep herb—tuck it under your pillow and you'll drift right off."
"Thank you, Celly."
"I'll send up some hot tea, so get upstairs ahead of me, Freya."
"Riel, you really don't have to go that far……."
"No buts! Go!"
"……Yes, ma'am."
Laden with gifts and food from everyone, I finally made it back to my bedroom on the fourth floor—and this time, a furball came flying at my head and clung on.
[Butler! I saw you collapse! Are you okay? Is it even all right for you to be up and about already?!]
"Yeah, I'm fine."
I set the basket and the assorted gifts down on the desk and trudged over to the bed. Then I simply flopped face-down onto the covers.
[Butler?!]
The startled furball called out to me. I answered with my face buried in the blanket.
"I'm fine. Just let me rest like this for a bit."
At last, the room fell quiet.
No more voices laden with worrying, all but ordering me to rest. No more careful, gentle hands full of affection.
Everyone gone—this was the stillness I'd wanted so badly.
And yet, somehow, the corners of my eyes and the tip of my nose stung.
I never asked for any of this…….
Warmth like this. Fondness like this. Tenderness like this.
For someone who couldn't honestly claim a single one of them, it was all far, far more than I deserved.
If only…….
If only I really were the owner of this body…….