"No More Talk. Stay Beside Me."
“Silence. Stay by my side.”
Even after the commotion at dawn had been settled, Sir Anette refused to let me out of her sight.
Every so often, I heard voices calling for me from outside the window. It seemed clear that it was my place to step in, and with my impatience mounting, I finally spoke up.
“Sir Anette, I…….”
I really should be getting back to work about now…….
But Sir Anette only turned the pages of her book, eyes closed all the while. Flutter, flutter.
“Shh. Can't you see I'm reading? Wait.”
“……Yes, my lady.”
Then you ought to at least open your eyes, Sir Anette…….
Haah. Lunchtime had come and gone already.
Sitting idle when I should have been rushing about at the height of my duties made my whole body itch with restlessness.
So this is just another form of confinement?
Why did everyone in this family love locking me up so much?
I sat quietly, watching Sir Anette turn pages on the sofa, and before I knew it, the events of that dawn came flooding back unbidden.
Her tone, her gestures — like a mother comforting a little girl who had touched something filthy.
It made me feel like I was someone precious.
Still, that much I had anticipated. The Grand Duke's inability to simply kill me, his insistence on making me remember — from that alone, I could guess that this body's original owner was someone of considerable value.
The Grand Duke simply suppressed any display of it, while Sir Anette, for all her efforts to hide it, betrayed it at every turn.
This might be an opportunity.
A chance to shake Sir Anette and draw the truth out of her.
But…… somehow, I don't want to.
Merely the thought of deceiving her made my chest throb.
So this is what they call guilt, I suppose. I had no wish to satisfy my curiosity by exploiting their affection for this body's owner.
Aside from what had happened on the battlefield, the Grand Duke had done nothing truly wrong by me, and Sir Anette, too, had shown me nothing but kindness despite having known me for so short a time.
I didn't want to deceive them.
Because no matter what I did, I could never become the person they longed for.
Not that I want to stay cooped up in this room forever, either.
I slowly rose from the sofa. Sir Anette slammed her book shut with a sharp thwap.
“I never said you could get up.”
Her voice was stern, but even within it, worry was plainly woven.
I hadn't noticed it while living with the blunt Grand Duke. But watching Sir Anette, I understood now — her gruff manner was little different from his, yet beneath her tone lay concern and care.
So this body's owner was loved this deeply.
I smiled faintly.
“I know you're doing this for my sake.”
“…….”
“I'm sorry for that, too — for remembering nothing at all……”
“No, you…….”
I apologized to her as though I really were the body's owner. And it was sincere — an apology for having slipped inside the body of someone they cherished, and for deceiving them because of it.
At my sudden words, bewilderment spread across Sir Anette's face.
The truth was, for this one moment alone, I had wanted to be this body's owner — someone who had surely been loved and raised with care, who was still loved even now.
And I cursed the heavens.
I wanted to demand why, of all bodies, they had to put me in this one. If someone needed a body, couldn't they have found some nameless orphan with no ties to anyone?
I couldn't remember a time I'd felt as pathetic and wretched as I did today.
I want to leave this place. Now.
I looked Sir Anette straight in the eye.
“As you can no doubt see, I'm not weak.”
You already know that, don't you?
For an instant, the depths of her eyes wavered as she looked at me.
“The Grand Duke has ordered me to recover my memories. I highly doubt he meant for me to sit quietly in this room until they came back on their own.”
“That's……”
Sir Anette's words trailed off. I met her gaze gently and gave her a bright smile.
“I intend to recover my memories while carrying out my duties flawlessly.”
“…….”
“The day I've regained everything, please welcome me warmly again.”
Though…… that day will likely never come…….
Swallowing the last of my words, I lowered my head in a bow.
As I left the room, Sir Anette did not stop me twice. Part of it was that my resolve must have looked firm — but more than that, it was her consideration, her unwillingness to break my will by force.
A good person.
Who knows — perhaps there are no bad knights among those who threw themselves onto the battlefield of their own accord for the Empire's people. Every one of them deserves respect, after all.
That evening.
I slipped around avoiding Sir Anette's eyes as I finished up my duties as butler.
Maybe I should skip training today.
What would she do if she found out I was using the Grand Duke's private training hall? The thought alone made me anxious.
But I soon shook my head.
I can't afford to skip a single day.
I'd already lost far too many days to traveling back and forth to the capital.
I'm still not strong enough.
It was certainly true that my aura control and swordsmanship had improved dramatically compared to two years ago. And yet I still couldn't break the jewel in this dog collar.
Because someone far stronger than me had made it.
Whether it was the Grand Duke, or the mages of the Magic Tower.
In short, I couldn't break this collar as I was now — which also meant I couldn't run away.
If I could just get a little stronger…
Truthfully, there was nowhere better suited to honing one's skills than the Grand Duke's estate.
They provide the space, they provide the weapons, and nobody lords it over me or watches me sideways.
Ah……. Have I gotten too comfortable?
What if I end up not wanting to leave……?
It had been nearly two years since I started living in this body, yet the thought of actually fleeing made me feel like a thief who had stolen someone's skin.
Ever since Sir Anette had appeared, that uneasy feeling had taken up residence in one corner of my heart and refused to leave.
No — it's not as if my soul could just slip out on its own.
That would amount to dying all over again.
Is freedom a luxury for me?
I had sworn to start a new life — to live freely, never returning to the Tenasis Empire, never entangling myself with Serhin again.
But this isn't even my body. Am I really allowed to live like that, in someone else's skin?
The thought made my throat tighten for no reason.
So what if someone said no? It's not as if I could politely die again.
But neither can I spend my whole life playing owner of this body, exactly as they want.
That, too, would surely become a prison — or a hell of its own making.
Ah, I don't know.
I truly don't.
I thought running away would be the end of it, but the road ahead only got murkier.
The days were better when all I had was a single plan: just run…….
The more I entangled myself with the people of the Grand Duke's household, the more I felt like an ant thrashing helplessly inside an antlion's pit.
I shook the useless thoughts from my head and threw myself into training.
Time slipped by.
Since Sir Anette was still staying at the Grand Duke's estate, I forwent any flashy swordwork today and practiced handling my aura in silent meditation instead.
When I opened my eyes again, it was already past three in the morning.
I tidied the training hall and stepped outside into a cool pre-dawn breeze. Breathing in the early-morning air, I walked slowly down the stone path leading from Verdan's Tower to the main estate.
Refreshing.
The chill breeze seemed to cool even the stagnant heat that had settled deep in my lungs.
That was when I felt it.
The third floor……!
A very faint stirring could be sensed from the third floor of the main estate.
The Grand Duke?
It was an energy much like his — and yet somehow, somewhere, precariously unstable.
Judging that it was better to see with my own eyes, I swiftly scaled the building's outer wall and slipped through a third-floor window.
A corridor black as pitch, even the lamps extinguished.
And at the end of that corridor, a dark figure stood before the Grand Duke's bedchamber.
I stared at the figure and spoke.
“……Your Highness?”
“…….”
The black figure in the hallway was the Grand Duke.
It's definitely him — but something's off.
I stepped cautiously toward him.
“……Are you well, Your Highness?”
The reply came back blunt and clipped.
“None of your concern.”
He gave his short answer and immediately moved to open his door and slip inside.
Oh no, you don't. Seriously?
Who's supposed to worry about the master's condition, if not his butler? Am I supposed to work or not?
Before the door could close, I darted forward and squeezed myself into the Grand Duke's room.
Click — and in that same instant, the door swung shut behind me.
The Grand Duke, caught equally off guard, swept his bangs back with one hand and spoke in a voice thick with irritation.
“……What is this behavior, Butler?”