Freedom, and a Sudden Change of Plans
I had memorized the names of every noble house and their attendants long before I ever stepped into the lounge.
Entering the lounge and settling onto the sofa, I had merely double-checked them against the nameplates on the table.
The very fact that they had assumed I wouldn't know who they were was proof enough that they looked down on me.
Tsk, tsk. I clicked my tongue and spoke.
“I thought that serving the heads of great houses might at least make you capable of rational conversation, but you're utterly hopeless. Ah, my mistake. That wasn't meant for you either.”
“Why, this insolent—!”
One of the attendants burst out shouting. He belonged to the household of Marquis Doilit.
I paid him no mind and pressed on.
“Thanks to you, I now understand exactly what House Ballot means to you people. It's also quite clear that there's no point in associating with those who see the world through nothing but a person's sex.”
“…….”
Only then did the lounge fall silent.
I swept one long leg up over the other and drank my tea with all the haughtiness I could muster.
The attendants who had been locked in a standoff with me shot furtive glances about and slunk back to their seats.
Pathetic lot.
In truth, I could have simply let it slide.
But if I didn't crush them early on like this, they might well manufacture even uglier rumors later — especially the kind that would tie the Grand Duke and me together.
Ugh. I shuddered.
Better a rumor that the Grand Duke's mad maid has lost her mind than one saying she's sleeping with the Grand Duke.
Obviously. I nodded to myself and took another sip of tea.
Time kept flowing. The banquet stretched on past midnight.
After all that chaos had blown through, the lounge was practically sepulchral.
And I found the wreckage I'd made of it rather delightful.
It was so peaceful back at the Grand Duke's residence.
With nothing but the household's affairs to worry about, there had been precious little in the way of incidents or emergencies.
The worst of it was a wilting flower in the garden, a mare giving birth, or a backed-up drain overflowing.
It had been ages since I'd enjoyed a warm conversation with anyone outside the Grand Duke's household.
Sip. The tea's aroma was truly exquisite.
It would be nice if the Grand Duke took me out and about more often. Heehee.
And if he took me to the battlefield while he was at it, even better.
I emptied the teapot again and again, and each time, the observant palace attendants quietly refilled it.
The cakes and fruit that arrived with every fresh pot weren't what I was after, but the servants went ahead and piled my empty plate full again anyway.
So this is what it feels like to be treated like a guest.
Everything was satisfying.
Then, as I reached for the freshly replenished fruit, my eyes met Drek's yet again.
Even now, his gaze burned as hot as ever.
I chewed the fruit in my mouth and stared straight back at him.
The man was a mystery, truly.
He couldn't know I'm Sia. And yet he looks at me with the exact same eyes as back then...
The eyes of someone studying a specimen. A gaze that picked apart and probed every corner of you.
I couldn't exactly tell him to stop staring because it creeped me out, and since he'd stayed out of the gossip about me, I had no justification to put him in his place either.
Still, what am I going to do with him from here on out?
With Marchioness Graven's condition eased, the man was bound to be a headache for a while yet.
Well, does it matter?
He moves for his own goals, and I move for mine.
We were both people of the Tenasis Empire, but our purposes had nothing in common.
Drek's primary objective here was to extract information from the Cadea Empire and sow discord.
While mine is to return safely to the Tenasis Empire...
...Hm? Hold on.
My thoughts screeched to a halt.
Was my goal really to go back to the Tenasis Empire?
Well, I mean... yes. Technically. Though I'd rather thought I'd go back carrying the Grand Duke's head on a platter...
But then...
...Is going back actually what I want?
Could that really be called the final goal of my life?
My mind grew muddled for a moment.
It was true that two years of living in the Grand Duke's household had eased both my body and my heart.
That didn't mean I'd stopped being wary of them — it simply meant I'd grown that much used to the work and the people.
I've gone and adapted.
Even dealing with the assassins who occasionally snuck in had become a pleasantly entertaining perk.
I looked back on my life in the Tenasis Empire.
At this point...
Wouldn't it be fair to say I'd repaid most of the life-debt I owed Serhin?
On Serhin's orders, I had run myself ragged across battlefield after battlefield, serving as his hands and feet, shouldering the grueling and thankless work in his stead.
He had given me the name Sia, yet there had never been a life lived for Sia — only a life lived for Serhin.
Right.
It's true that I have to leave the Cadea Empire, the Grand Duke of Ballot's household. But the destination doesn't have to be the Tenasis Empire.
The Sia that Serhin had rescued was already dead, after all.
There's no reason to go back just to fasten a dog's collar around a new body's neck.
Marching in and begging for the leash myself would be laughable, too.
And just like that, the purpose I'd set at the very beginning — go home — simply evaporated.
I'd expected to feel lost and hollow. Instead, strangely enough, my heart began to race.
Freedom.
The freedom to go anywhere, to do anything.
From now on, my purpose was freedom itself.
But even freedom needs something, you know.
Money.
Because I couldn't exactly live out my days begging on the streets like some vagrant.
Hm. How much have I saved up, again?
Every month's pay I'd received from the Grand Duke's household these past two years sat untouched in full.
I'd never cared much for wealth in the first place. Living at Serhin's side, I'd never once wanted for money.
If I'd known this would happen, I'd have hoarded it back then...
If I'd stashed away a fortune in some secret cache, I might already be free.
But it wasn't too late even now.
The Grand Duke's household paid well enough, after all.
They said there's a performance bonus on top every year, too.
Once I'd saved enough to live on, I'd take that money and leave. Even if it meant leaving the Cadea Empire behind and making my living as a mercenary, that sounded like happiness to me.
Because I'd finally have my freedom!
Hm, and before I left, I ought to buy gifts for Riel and Anna, and Sir Allen...
Ah, come to think of it, since I'm out here anyway, maybe I'll pick up a few gifts.
I remembered how Riel and Anna had gushed with envy when they heard I was coming to the capital.
Which accessory shop in the capital sold what. Which dressmaker's ribbons were all the rage these days. Which dessert shop's pie was supposedly to die for.
Their chattering spilled quickly through my mind.
Just in case, I had all my wages converted into jewels before I left...
Before departing the Grand Duke's residence, I'd asked Ed to exchange my pay for gems.
Carrying a handful of jewels beat lugging around several hundred gold coins any day — far easier on the pockets.
I'd assumed a gathering of great houses' attendants would mean plenty of chances to spend, but the capital had proven surprisingly cheap, and the money had simply piled up untouched.
Saving is important, but you have to spend generously when the occasion calls for it.
I'll have to bring it up with the Grand Duke, ever so casually, later.
With that thought, I withdrew my attention from Drek sitting across from me.
He was never one of my concerns to begin with, in truth.
He'll manage his information-gathering well enough on his own, I'm sure.
May he and Serhin be very happy together.
And I went back to mulling over my plans for the future.
It was deep into the small hours by the time the banquet of the great magnates finally drew to a close — a good two hours later.
“We'll need to probe their true intentions behind proposing this alliance, I tell you.”
“Come now, isn't that precisely why we're putting our heads together right now?”
“I never said we should simply accept the alliance as it stands!”
“Enough, enough — save it for the council chamber. Get some rest for tonight, all of you.”
The nobles who came pouring out of the banquet hall exchanged grave words under equally grave faces.
I stole a glance at them.
So there are those who oppose the alliance, too.
Well, of course. An alliance proposal didn't simply seal itself the moment it arrived.
Weighing the gains against the losses must be no small task.
Which was why they'd gathered only the great magnates for a council like this, I supposed.
The nobles filed away to their quarters with the attendants waiting on them, each to their own lodgings.
I, in turn, followed the Grand Duke — the very last to leave the banquet hall.
“The council begins tomorrow. There'll be no need to summon you separately, so amuse yourself however you like around the palace.”
“Ah, so I'm to gallop about the gardens like a foal?”
“If you must.”
“…….”
“Outside the palace walls, however, is off-limits.”
“...Understood, my lord.”
Tch. I stuck my lip out in a pout.
And at that, the Grand Duke laughed.
And this from the man who'd been scowling fit to split his brow in two on the way out of the banquet hall.
I shot him a sidelong look, then escorted him to the annex where our assigned lodgings awaited.
I relayed to him everything the palace attendants had briefed me on in advance, then saw to it that his bath was drawn and ready.
“I've laid out your change of clothes on the bed. Ring if you need anything. Then — rest well, my lord.”
He asked, shrugging off his coat.
“Anything of note happen today?”
I rolled my eyes around for a moment before answering.
“No, my lord. Nothing at all. I did make a few friends in the lounge who seemed eager to meet you, so I handled matters within my discretion.”
At that, the Grand Duke turned to look at me.
“Friends?”
I nodded.
“Yes.”
“You? Making friends?”
The look on his face — as though he'd just heard something utterly preposterous — stirred up a strange feeling in me.
“...Yes. Is something the matter? Am I, what, forbidden from making friends now?”
“…….”
Rather than answer, the Grand Duke turned away and began to undress.
“Not that you'd listen if I did forbid it, I suppose.”
“…….”
...Hm? I stared blankly at the Grand Duke.
What was that supposed to be — a jab that wasn't quite a jab?