The First Gift
Even before coming to this family, five-year-old Lefonya had never asked for anything.
Even when left all alone in that empty house, and throughout the long carriage ride to the estate with only the Duke of Craitan for company, she had never once begged for help. She had merely said that selling her wouldn't fetch much of a price anyway, so he ought to keep her as a maid instead.
It was no different even after her adoption.
And yet, here was that same Lefonya, voicing a desire for the very first time. After a moment of contemplation, the Duke of Craitan turned his gaze toward Felens.
"Felens. Would you—"
"No."
Refusing flatly before the duke could even finish his sentence, Felens rose from the table before the meal was even over.
"You shouldn't be saddling me with that kind of nonsense, Father."
It's not as if I adopted her. You should take responsibility for her yourself.
His cold glare seemed to reprove the duke with those unsaid words. Lefonya darted a discreet glance at the duke.
The Duke of Craitan merely let out a quiet sigh.
Turning on his heel with a chilly indifference, Felens strode out of the dining hall. The duke watched his son's retreating back for a moment before turning to Lefonya.
"Fonya. I think it might be better to leave Felens be."
"I'm all right." Lefonya replied bravely between bites, as though it were nothing at all. "He already turned me down yesterday, so I was expecting it. This is nothing."
"Fonya."
"I know what you're worried about, Duke. You think I'll be a bother to Senior, don't you? I won't pester him too much."
"What are you talking about? Why would Felens be bothered?"
"Huh?"
Wasn't that why he was trying to dissuade me?
"That boy needs life to be a little more bothersome. At the Imperial Academy, all he ever does is eat, sleep, and idle about."
Then why tell her to leave him alone? Lefonya tilted her head in confusion.
"Fonya. I'm worried that you'll get hurt by being turned down."
"...Me?"
Lefonya pointed a finger at herself, her head tilting further. Worried she would get hurt? In all her life, she had never heard such words.
"No one likes being rejected over and over."
Having never once considered such a thing, Lefonya moved her lips soundlessly. Even when waking up this morning, she had steeled herself, telling herself that getting rejected was no big deal... Yet in this household, people actually worried about such things.
It's because they treat me like this that I keep getting used to it, and my heart drops at a single rejection.
Even though she would have to cast it all aside someday.
"Still, Fonya, I want you to know that Felens isn't rejecting you because he dislikes you. If he truly hated you, a boy who loves sleeping in like him would never have dragged himself out of bed so early just to sit in the dining hall. For your information, when you aren't around, he never sits across from me at all."
It was hard to tell whether the duke was offering consolation or speaking the plain truth.
"Okay."
There was no need to pry. Whether it was comfort or truth mattered little to her anyway.
"Then... I'll try talking to Senior a little more."
"Felens isn't known for being gentle in word or deed, so I'm still concerned you might get hurt."
"It's fine. It's not like he curses at me or hits me."
If it wasn't that bad, then he was being gentle enough.
Lefonya carried on eating. The duke, who looked about to protest, firmly clamped his mouth shut at her utter nonchalance. He seemed desperate to correct her impression of what 'gentle' meant, but Lefonya didn't bother asking. Beside her, the duke simply muttered under his breath over and over, "Step by step. Slowly. One thing at a time."
Taking a deep breath, the duke watched Lefonya chew her food carefully before speaking up.
"Fonya. From now on, you're to ride this around."
With a gesture from the duke, the butler carried something forward. It gleamed and sparkled. Even approaching from a distance, it was massive, radiant, and dazzling with a kaleidoscope of colors.
"What is this?"
"I told you before, didn't I? The estate is vast, so I said I would have a wooden rocking horse made for you to ride instead of walking everywhere."
Even at a glance, the wooden horse was crafted from the finest lumber. Judging by the rich, vibrant luster of the wood, it was undoubtedly the kind reserved exclusively for the furniture of high nobility.
What was more, jewels that looked exorbitantly expensive were set into the horse's eyes. If only it had stopped at the eyes—gems were studded across its body so lavishly that it could practically be called a jewel horse rather than a wooden one. To top it off, despite being a wooden horse, it was even wearing a necklace that looked impossibly costly.
"I had a Mana Stone embedded in it, so it will move in whichever direction you wish to go."
"Gasp—a Mana Stone?"
Just how astronomical was the price of a single Mana Stone, and he had embedded one into a mere wooden horse? A toy horse that only a five-year-old like Lefonya could ride!
Stunned, Lefonya stared down at the wooden horse that was worth vastly more than her own ransom.
"It's designed so that it only operates within the Craitan Duchy Estate and cannot be taken outside, so you don't need to worry about it being stolen."
The moment anyone took this outside, crowds would swarm over it and pry off every last gemstone and Mana Stone. Lefonya swallowed hard.
"Fonya. This is a present for you."
A present.
At that word, Lefonya, who had been mentally calculating the worth of a single jewel, snapped her head up. Only then did the Duke of Craitan's face come into view, after her eyes had been glued to the wooden horse.
Despite having lavished it with all those priceless jewels, his expression was taut with anxiety and concern, worried sick that she might not like his gift.
"Ah..."
Lefonya parted her lips. In her mind, she knew what one was supposed to say when receiving a gift. Yet having received a present for the very first time in her life—truly the first time she had ever been given anything—her lips refused to move easily.
"Th-thank..."
In her life, she had apologized far more than she had ever thanked anyone. She had begged for her life far more than she had ever spoken words of love. Rather than saying something hurt, she had said she was fine; rather than asking for help, she had resigned herself to dying. Her entire existence had been spent spitting out words of misery rather than joy.
"...It's my first."
Unable to bring herself to say the word 'thank you,' Lefonya murmured from the bottom of her heart. She wasn't supposed to invest emotions in those tied to her mission. Pouring out emotion would compromise the mission. And yet...
"Ever since I was born, really... it's the first time anyone has ever given me something."
Even so, this alone was pure truth.
"Because it's the first time..."
Lefonya repeated the words over and over. In place of thanks, she could only repeat that single truth.
"Is that so?"
Watching Lefonya awkwardly repeat that it was her first time, the Duke of Craitan finally broke into a smile. Reaching out, he scooped the tiny girl into his arms.
"To think I'm the first person to ever give you a gift... That makes me very happy."
It seemed he understood that her repetition of 'the first time' was her way of saying thank you.
Happy that he gave me a gift...?
What an ironic thing to say. The world Lefonya had lived in was not one where people gave to others. No, it was a world where there was nothing to spare in the first place. A world where everyone was consumed with feeding their own mouths and snatching whatever they could. A world where the moment you showed consideration for another, you perished. So she had never known the joy of giving. Such a sentiment was utterly beyond her comprehension.
"Well then, why don't you try riding it?"
The duke gently set Lefonya atop the wooden horse.
A rocking horse when I'm already fully grown...
It even had handles.
"It could be dangerous, so make sure you hold tightly to the handles when you ride it. Understand?"
She had momentarily forgotten that this was a man who told her to drink cold water slowly lest she get an upset stomach.
"Uh-huh."
Even if she nodded in agreement, she had no intention of holding the handles. She had an adult's pride to maintain!
"I had it made so it only activates when you grip both handles," the duke explained. "Once you hold the handles and stamp your foot in the direction you want to go, it will move. After that, you just steer the handles wherever you wish. If you let go with even one hand, it will stop."
Thorough to a fault. To think he had made it impossible to operate unless both handles were held!
Lefonya let out a soft laugh at the thought that he would probably faint dead away if he knew she had once leapt from a third-story window while fleeing an enemy. Of course, the moment the Duke of Craitan discovered who she truly was would likely be when they met at the execution grounds, so there would hardly be any room for fainting in surprise.
If only I had truly been born in a place like this...
Picturing herself born and loved in such a home, even for a fleeting second, Lefonya shook her head. It was an impossible reality, an unalterable past. Entertaining such thoughts only served to make her feel more miserable.
"I'm going to go catch Senior!"
Lefonya grinned and gripped the handles of the wooden horse. The maids smiled warmly at the adorable sight and opened the dining hall doors for her.
First, stamp a foot, he said.
Lefonya gave a brisk stamp of her foot. At once, the wooden horse began rocking slowly back and forth.
"Oh, it really moves."
Rock, rock.
Rocking back and forth, the wooden horse steadily advanced.
Make way for the wooden steed! she had thought boldly, but...
...This is rather underwhelming.
The speed was exceedingly, agonizingly modest.