What Doesn't Kill You
Cecilia had a habit of saying, "What doesn't kill me is merely a trial. If I devour the trial and survive, I shall only grow stronger."
"Begone."
I seized Cecilia by the collar and spoke.
"…Pardon?"
"I am telling you to vanish from my sight. It matters not where you go, so long as that wretched appearance of yours never again enters my view. I wish to fill my eyes only with beautiful things, you see."
"……Why do you not kill me?"
Thud!
I roughly hurled Cecilia's body to the ground.
"You speak so grandly of trials and such, yet it is rather deflating. If you truly wish to become my sustenance, return only after you have grown stronger."
"…Lady Lora, do you even understand what you are doing? Are you truly letting a monster like me go?"
"That is precisely what I am saying. Could you not comprehend it? For a princess of a nation, your command of the language is sorely lacking. You would do well to cultivate more refinement."
"You will come to regret this."
Cecilia glared at me.
"I am no longer human. How many people do you think a monster like me will kill?"
"Then that shall be your next trial."
"What?"
"It was your own saying, was it not? That which you cannot kill is merely a trial. That overcoming trials makes one stronger. Let us call your living on without becoming a monster your next trial. …And to be perfectly frank, I have no interest whatsoever in your circumstances."
I shrugged.
"Why should I concern myself with your situation? Whether you become a monster and slaughter people or not, is that my responsibility? You truly are shameless."
"…The shameless one seems to be you, Lady Lora."
"If it vexes you, be born a ducal daughter in your next life. Besides, it is far more profitable for me if you remain alive."
"Profitable…?"
"Go to the western mountain range at once. I hear bandits have made their nest there. Deal with them, and I shall let you live."
"……"
When I said that, Cecilia wore an incredulous expression. I smiled faintly at the sight.
"This is what it means to become sustenance. Until I have wrung every last drop of use from you, I shall personally watch your back. If you do not wish to be beaten, hurry along now."
[When are you free?]
"She really does look exactly like her avatar…"
Three days had passed since the EYEAI Labyrinthos tournament.
Rinko had come all the way to my doorstep.
"Senior Rinko looks quite different from what I imagined."
She had many piercings in her ears. Her hair was even dyed. Yet perhaps because she wore glasses, her impression did not seem sharp.
"I hear that often."
She chuckled and walked ahead. Her gait was neat and proper. It created a strange dissonance with her flashy outward appearance. Her true nature was probably that of a model student. If I were to compare it to a game, it felt as though she was merely wearing a delinquent skin.
"You're the one whose sunglasses stand out, Lora. Don't you have a prettier design?"
"Sora gave them to me."
"What I meant was, rather than pretty, they suit you so well that I think it's nice."
Rinko quickly corrected herself. She had unintentionally become a killjoy. Not that I particularly minded. The sunglasses truly were not a pretty design, after all.
I adjusted the position of my sunglasses slightly.
"Sora said that since I look exactly like my avatar, I might get recognized by fans."
"Ah~, that could certainly happen. In that case, it might be good to pay attention to your hairstyle as well."
"Hairstyle?"
"Letting your hair down suits you, but it makes your atmosphere similar to your avatar. If you tie it up, the impression would change quite a bit."
"That's a good suggestion."
Though I wondered if Rion would be able to manage it. Rion, who usually handled my hair, was only at an average level when it came to styling skills. Come to think of it, I seemed to recall that Sora had graduated from a cosmetology department.
"By the way, is there anything you want to eat? What's your favorite food?"
"My favorite food. Are you sure, Senior Rinko? I don't think you would like it very much."
"It doesn't matter. We should eat what Lora likes."
"I see."
I nodded. And so we arrived at a gukbap restaurant.
"…Lora, do you know how I feel right now?"
"Senior, there are things in this world that one cannot know unless spoken. Please be honest."
"The guilt is no joke."
Rinko sighed before the bowl of gukbap.
"Oh my, were you perhaps concerned about calories? If so, I apologize."
"It's not really that…"
"Then do you dislike gukbap?"
"Actually, I like it quite a bit…. …It's like feeding roast beef to the King of England."
I understood what she meant. I had experienced something similar when I first entered the academy long ago. As it happened, there was a princess among the new students that year, and she and I had been assigned to take the class placement exam together. Then a gate suddenly appeared, and we ended up stranded together. When I caught a magical beast inside the gate and ate it, the princess was utterly horrified. I had felt some guilt as well, but it could not be helped. There were times when one had to solve food problems locally.
"I thought you would like pasta…"
"I do like pasta as well. However, if you ask for my favorite food, it would still be gukbap."
It was a dish I had liked even before becoming a villainess. I added seasoning with gochujang and a bit of salted shrimp, then sprinkled perilla powder, sending the aroma rising. After mixing it well, I added the rice without leaving any behind. For reference, what I ordered was the mixed gukbap that included intestines and sundae as well.
"So, for what reason did you call for me, Senior Rinko?"
Around the time I had garnished the broth, a piece of intestine, and some radish kimchi to complete the world's finest dish, I asked Rinko.
"First, that. Drop the formal speech. Just speak casually."
"Very well. I shall do so."
I immediately switched to informal speech. I wondered if it was all right to speak down to Rinko, a first-generation member, while skipping the second through fifth generations, but since Rinko herself wished it, it should be fine. I also found speaking casually more comfortable than using honorifics. After all, I was a ducal daughter.
"So, why exactly did you call me?"
"Your attitude changed quickly. I like that. The reason I called you… I suppose I just wanted to talk."
"About what?"
"Just various things."
And Rinko began to speak without any particular order. It was the story of when she had lost to MadMask last year.
"I didn't really care about the malicious comments. It was just that all my teammates had believed in me until the very end, and I felt so sorry for not living up to their expectations. Especially to Narim…"
Narim referred to Son Narim, who had been on the same team. Son Narim, the second-tier pick for the Black team and a member of Serenade KR at 23 o'clock.
"Lora, I don't plan on participating in this year's Fantasy League."
Rinko said that.
"Before facing you, I thought about many things. What does Kisaki Rinko have that is better than Aurora? After losing to you, what exactly remains for me?"
"So, what remains?"
"A damn long life."
Rinko gulped down some water. From the look of it, it almost seemed as though she were drinking early in the day.
"Someday I'll lose the EYEAI face title, my subscriber count will be overtaken, and I'll fall behind in star quality, charisma, gaming skill, and mental fortitude. There's truly nothing I can beat you at."
"You speak of such obvious things. Why did you ever think to compare yourself to the sun?"
"Because I'm the sun of EYEAI for now? Hurry up and take it. I want to let it go too."
Rinko chuckled. Her expression was quite different from when we had crossed blades in the tournament. Back then she had seemed endlessly serious, but now she wore a somehow refreshed face.
"But even letting go doesn't mean it's over. Whether I lose the EYEAI face VTuber title or have the Labyrinthos specialist VTuber position taken from me, in the end I still have to live the rest of my life until I die."
"You speak of obvious things."
"Yes. But sometimes I forget even those obvious things. ──In the end, everything is just a passing point."
Unless one suffers a truly fatal failure, life does not end so easily. Success is even more so. There are few lives that end with success. Whether success or failure, life continues afterward. Therefore, whether success or failure may not be as important as one thinks. A single success cannot be one's entire life. It is also difficult for a single great achievement to become the period at the end of one's life. That is why how one continues living afterward has always been important.
"Even if I don't participate in this year's Fantasy League, there's always next year anyway. If I train hard for about a year, I should be able to fill the gap."
Rinko seemed to have reached that conclusion. I had nothing particular to say. Whether Rinko's choice was right or wrong did not matter much to me. Even if Rinko failed once more, her life would not end. In the end, everything that failed to kill her was merely a trial.
"However, there is one minor flaw."
"A flaw?"
"Just because this year's league has been decided does not mean next year's league will necessarily be held."
Depending on the success of this year's league, next year's league would also be decided. Of course, it would probably be held unless something extraordinary happened. Seeing that they had changed the name from Streamer League to Fantasy League, it seemed they intended to continue it in the future.
"You're the one overlooking something, Lora. This year's league will definitely be a success, and next year's league will definitely be held."
"Oh my, you say such strange things."
There were not many absolutes in this world, after all.
"Because Lora will participate in this year's league. That already guarantees the success of the event."
That was what Rinko was saying.
"Lora, participate in the league. Go and avenge me, make the tournament a success, and return even greater than before."