Chapter 58
Chapter 58
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 58
Chapter Title: Why?
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"Why?"
Eaton was just a young boy. We'd even finished discussing the verbal contract just moments ago. The odds of him treating me roughly were slim to none.
"Because he's a guy."
The reason he declared so boldly was absurd. Unlike before, an awkward silence fell.
"...You're not a woman, right?"
I murmured in a voice laced with amusement.
Darsi's ears flushed red as he realized the contradiction in his own words.
I tried to spin his statement in some way to cover for him.
"Well, your gender is male, sure..."
"No. Forget it. Don't bother making excuses for me. It just makes me more embarrassed."
His habit of avoiding my gaze was almost endearing. I never expected to see Darsi like this. I burst out laughing.
"I didn't say that to make you laugh."
Darsi shot me a sideways glance and picked up the coat still draped over my shoulder.
"I'll be going now."
"Yeah, I'll send a letter tomorrow."
Darsi nodded, fiddled with the ring on his finger, then turned away.
"Friends can worry about each other like this, right?"
This wasn't an excuse directed at me—it was a question seeking agreement.
A question where the answer he wanted was already set.
I stared at him steadily. It was strange. This man, far larger than me, with his sharp features when he wasn't smiling, suddenly felt like a rabbit ready to bolt.
Instinct told me I should yield.
No, honestly, I wanted to.
"Yeah."
Darsi visibly relaxed at my words.
With that, he vanished along with the ring. I muttered into the empty space where he'd disappeared.
"But not everyone has a friend like that."
Friend. I mulled over the word Darsi had used. The still-vague definition of our relationship.
*'When will we find an answer?'*
Neither Darsi nor I knew how deep these feelings ran. Maybe we were even relieved by the undefined nature of it all.
A friend's bond is more certain and stable than a lover's.
*'But if I'm disappointed by the word "friend," does that make me the bad one?'*
I shook my head, recalling how intimidating Darsi had seemed.
*'Don't rush it.'*
Nothing was set in stone yet. I should stay true to the moment without building up too many expectations.
Darsi hadn't interacted much with people, so he was clumsy at recognizing his own emotions. It was entirely possible his feelings for me were truly just those of a friend.
And I was prepared to respect that.
*'...Though it felt good seeing him conscious of Eaton earlier.'*
It almost seemed like jealousy.
I chuckled, thinking of Darsi's reddened ears. I felt sad about his reluctance to define us, yet happy with his actions.
Comedy and tragedy are born in the same place.
*'Can my actions make Darsi happy?'*
I'd have to try.
I thought of Eaton.
He was in the theater room—perfect timing. Explaining the magic tools there would boost trust in my plan.
I opened the door and headed toward Eaton.
"It's part of the process for you to be happy."
How could he refuse Marso's request when she put it like that? It was impossible.
"Got it."
The answer came like magic.
*'Maybe you're the one with mind-control powers, Marso.'*
You always make me think only of you... watch your expressions, and in the end, I can't bring myself to refuse.
I didn't know when it started.
When we first met, you were just a noble I could use.
But now you're my world. I can't even recall days without thinking of you.
I still hadn't defined my feelings precisely. It's frightening. I've never been a coward in front of others, but I can't bear showing or admitting imperfection to you.
Darsi recalled his mother, who craved Emperor Kies's love, then squeezed his eyes shut.
It might have been better if those memories had faded growing up. They were too vivid to forget.
He had to admit it. He was afraid of love. He couldn't tolerate the destructive emotions and actions it brought as side effects.
*'I was born from that woman, after all.'*
...What if he became the same monster?
Darsi's eyes widened.
No.
He wouldn't become a monster like his mother.
He wouldn't use mind-control powers to sway people's hearts.
He wouldn't fall into a love that clouded judgment.
The emotions he'd felt watching Marso today—the possessiveness, the jealousy—weren't love.
"Friends can worry about each other like this, right?"
Hadn't Marso agreed?
But the monster in his heart was already sprouting, growing, and whispering busily.
*'You're saying it's for your friend's sake, but don't you want to kiss her right now?'*
Confusion reigned. It felt like the days charging through battlefields on Emperor Kies's orders.
He wanted to bash his head against the wall.
If only he could kill the selfish monster inside him. If only he could suppress the selfishness raging more fiercely lately.
...But Marso was too upright, lovable, and beautiful to restrain every action and thought.
His filthy possessiveness, destined to one day bind her, only grew stronger.
Even knowing it would prevent Marso from being happy.
Darsi drew in a breath.
*'A friend. Just a friend. Emotions aren't complete yet. You don't want to lose Marso now, right?'*
This was self-brainwashing.
Yes, he could endure it for now.
The closer he got, the greedier he became—so when Marso went to meet the mages, he'd put some distance there.
She'd understand, even if a bit regretful, with how busy things were. He knew the considerate, gentle Marso, so different from the rumors.
He really did need to research magic tools more.
Now that guns had appeared, Kies would mass-produce them somehow. Just like he'd found a way to press the barrel to his temple.
This wasn't the era of knights anymore. The age of mages was passing too—a new era was coming.
He needed to prepare accordingly.
*'...Guns don't have to be magic tools.'*
Magic crystals were great, but too limited. Once fully utilized, no one could match the imperial reserves.
He needed to develop weapons usable without magic crystals.
To see the end of Kies and Ryan.
To drive deep despair into their hearts.
...No, honestly, that wasn't the only reason. The more time he spent with Marso, the dimmer his revenge against Kies and Ryan became.
For Marso's safety now that she was on his side, he had to eliminate them.
Right on cue, a knock sounded. The door opened, and Kaisen bowed in greeting.
"You're back."
"Yes. Any reports?"
"Prince Ryan and Marquis Epekle seem to have joined forces."
He'd known Ryan would pick allies, but not that it would be Marquis Epekle.
"I was surprised too. I thought he'd stay neutral no matter what..."
"He's an old man who doesn't move without reason. Ryan must have a weakness on him."
"We investigated his movements, but... nothing special beyond the magic crystals."
Magic crystal circulation was strictly banned by the imperial family, but black-market quantities were substantial.
It wasn't odd for Ryan to use them in deals.
*'...But something about that bugs me.'*
Darsi narrowed his eyes. Magic crystals were coveted by all, but... Marquis Epekle wasn't that greedy. He even owned one of the few mines.
...But what if he suddenly needed more?
The Epekle House used more magic crystals than most families anyway.
"Investigate the mines."
"Pardon? The mines?"
Mines producing magic crystals was as natural as breathing. But if something went wrong with that natural order?
It would explain Marquis Epekle's actions.
Not entirely, though.
*'I didn't think he'd cling so desperately to magic crystals.'*
Did he have a reason to hoard them? Or had he misjudged the man?
Either way, time would reveal the truth.
After seeing Darsi off, I pulled the gun from its hiding spot in my dress. The cold metal still felt unfamiliar.
*'But it's portable enough.'*
A safeguard for unexpected situations. I tucked the gun deep under the bed—somewhere only I could reach.
Sloppily tying it to my dress was too risky. I needed a proper holster, like straps for my thigh.
*'I'll ask Darsi later.'*
For quick access in emergencies.
I'd pack mostly small magic crystals. I didn't know the power of a magic-tool gun yet, but it should be enough to protect myself.
Once I signed contracts with the mages and started full-scale business, I'd be openly defying the imperial family. They wouldn't look kindly on dealings with mages they shunned.
And not just them—anyone on Ryan's side would see me as a thorn in their flesh.
I needed protection for that. The gun Darsi gave me was perfect for self-defense.