Chapter 20
Chapter 20
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 20
Chapter Title: The Emperor's Invitation
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After finishing my final goodbye with Darsi and stepping outside, I ran into Marquis Etwar.
"What brings you here?"
I knew the marquis didn't sleep until dawn, but we had never set foot in each other's spaces before.
For my father, who never even shared meals with me usually, to come all the way here meant something was definitely up.
I waited, thinking he would speak first, but an awkward silence stretched out.
Time spent with someone unfamiliar felt like walking on needles.
In the end, I spoke first.
"What is it?"
"Are you doing well?"
"...Yes."
"I see. I came because I have something to tell you."
Just as I thought. After briefly asking about my well-being and observing the formalities, the marquis got straight to the point.
"His Majesty the Emperor has sent you an invitation, Marso."
...An invitation? Why?
In the book, Marso Etwar had courted Prince Ryan, but she had never once received an invitation from the Emperor.
The Emperor didn't like Marso that much. She had tried to win Ryan over using her status and the magic crystal mines she owned.
"It's an invitation to a banquet with Prince Ryan. It seems he views you as a candidate for Crown Princess. It looks like the Crown Prince investiture will happen soon."
I was confused. The Emperor wanted to place Marso Etwar in the Crown Princess position?
Was there something like this in the original story? No, I couldn't have forgotten something this important.
There was only one answer. My actions, different from the original Marso, had created a butterfly effect.
This was the first time I truly felt the story changing. It was good that my actions could alter the situation, but I hated this kind of change.
...No, his wife? Send me to that guy who can't wait to devour me?
To me, Ryan wasn't the Crown Prince—he was just a thug who threatened me every time.
I answered in one breath.
"I don't want to go."
Marquis Etwar looked regretful and tried to persuade me.
"Marriage to the prince wouldn't be a bad thing for you. We can't refuse this from our side, so go and think it over."
I had no desire whatsoever to see that face again.
"I feel like I'll really be sick that day."
"Then the banquet will just be moved to another day. This isn't something you can avoid by dodging."
Unfortunately, he wasn't wrong. How could the marquis refuse the Emperor's command?
"If it's something that has to happen anyway, better to get it over with quickly. The date is ten days from now, so prepare well. You used to like Prince Ryan, didn't you?"
Marquis Etwar seemed to take my reaction as mere whining. Since the original Marso liked Ryan, he assumed she'd be thrilled to be positioned as the Crown Princess.
...Explaining his misunderstanding would take too long, so I kept silent. I didn't want to have a long talk with Marquis Etwar anyway.
"Then I'll take my leave."
Having said his piece, Marquis Etwar passed by me.
No—he stopped beside me. After a moment of silence, he spoke.
"Letting Resuan in... I thought she could be a good friend to you. It was my mistake, so I apologize."
...An unexpected apology. When I hurriedly turned my head, Marquis Etwar was already walking away from me.
In the end, I couldn't see what expression he had when he said those words.
But his slightly trembling voice sounded tense.
...Did I speak too coldly? After Marquis Etwar apologized to me, I started to worry about how I'd been treating him.
But that thought didn't last. I was soon blocked by the wall that was Ryan.
No sooner had I parted from Darsi than this bomb dropped.
"Just let me hole up at home in peace."
I missed Darsi. I wanted to tell him about this.
Darsi would listen patiently, then smile at the corners of his eyes and give his opinion.
In front of Darsi, I could be myself.
I could escape the villainess title and have somewhat childish conversations, share hobbies I'd never told anyone else.
He was someone I could pour out my heart to without thinking.
Only now that I thought of something to tell him did I truly realize what it meant that he was gone.
Something welled up inside me. My eyes reddened.
"...I miss him."
I opened the parlor door, picturing Darsi's face. It was an action born from a faint hope that maybe he was there.
But of course, the parlor was empty.
The same old parlor felt strangely hollow.
I headed to the movie theater. With my head so complicated, I planned to sleep here tonight.
I should continue listening to that nocturne from earlier. Or maybe the background music.
As I pondered, I startled at the sight of Leti standing in front of the door.
"Miss!"
The moment Leti spotted me, she trotted over and cautiously gauged my mood.
"Are you still angry?"
"No. Why would I be angry? I just didn't have anything for you to do."
I smiled and stared at her openly. It was true that I'd been avoiding Leti. Her actions trying to pair me with Resuan had been too uncomfortable.
Perhaps sensing my feelings, Leti opened up first.
"Miss, I was wrong. I shouldn't have brought Lady Resuan there.... I just thought it would be better for you to reconcile with her and reenter society than to stay like this."
Hmm, did staying like this look pathetic in other people's eyes?
I'd kept trying hard and living diligently—shouldn't I get some time to rest?
"What's wrong with staying like this?"
At my flat question, Leti finally seemed to realize her slip.
Flustered, blinking her eyes, she continued carefully.
"Miss, I just want you to overcome this hardship and move forward. Staying like this... it's a bit..."
Right, Leti might be thinking of me. She could be trying her best in her own way, feeling sorry for my changed self.
But her words lacked consideration. She dismissed my current state as "like this" and tried to force me into what others called normal.
Leti's attitude showed it. She had never been in my position and made no effort to understand my actions.
I hated that.
I'd finally escaped the standards of "normal" and was healing, living as I pleased.
I wasn't harming anyone by living like this—why did I have to change?
Was I expecting too much from Leti, who was just a servant?
But Leti had crossed the line first.
"I'll take what you said today as coming from a place of care and let it go. But Leti."
I hardened my expression and stared at her coldly.
"I won't overlook it a second time, so watch your words."
Even time that might seem pathetic to others was precious to me.
No matter how they denied it, that fact didn't change.
Time lying alone.
Time watching plays.
Time in the garden—all of it.
It was time to heal the festering wounds inside me, my rehabilitation.
At my words, Leti fell silent, as if at a loss. She looked at my face.
My face, stripped of its usual goofiness, was sharper than expected.
A brief silence flowed, and Leti bowed politely. She stammered on.
"I'm sorry, Miss. My thinking was short-sighted. It was a slip of the tongue. I really... thought Lady Resuan could help you. It sounded like the best advice to me...."
This was an unavoidable difference. I didn't know how Leti had lived, and Leti didn't know the roots of my personality.
Seeing how her "that's no way to live" sparked motivation in her unlike me proved it.
People really are so different.
How much we accept and embrace each other's differences, and how much we can change, probably defines the depth of our relationships.
I took a deep breath and spoke slowly.
"As long as you don't say things like that again, it's fine. Is that the only reason you were waiting here?"
"...I prepared your favorite cake and macarons. I thought you'd be down after hearing about the banquet with the marquis today."
I was grateful for her thoughtfulness in preparing what I liked.
I glanced at Leti and muttered.
"You know I'll be depressed and still say that?"
"But with the banquet with the prince coming up soon, I got anxious too...."
"The banquet and this are separate. I'll sleep in this room tonight, so you can go."
"Yes, understood."
Seeming aware of her slip today, Leti left quickly.
I entered the movie theater and spent my alone time. I needed to stockpile as much energy as possible before meeting Ryan.
If Resuan had spilled our last conversation to Ryan, that alone would be trouble.
I ate the dessert Leti had prepared as a late-night snack and listened to gentle background music, but sleep didn't come easily.
Realizing anew how important mental peace was, I finally fell asleep at dawn.
Staying home didn't make time flow slowly.
To end things in one go, I needed full preparation.
The one consolation was that Pitol had finished revising his ambitious new play.
He was excited, saying this one would really be a hit.
People in the Etwar family's theater were passionately preparing for the premiere. My recording list grew day by day.
Rido was drawing lines even more strictly these days. He even left quickly when he saw me.
His startled reaction, as if talking to me would bring disaster, looked like he'd been threatened not to meet me.
'...At least the rose-tinted glasses are off, so that's good.'
His sudden attitude change was baffling, but it wasn't bad for me.
And so, the day of the banquet where I'd face Ryan arrived.
'How long has it been since I went out?'
Since it was an invitation from the Emperor himself, dressing up properly was etiquette.
I wondered what stories were circulating about me. Not going out meant I had no way to know the rumors. Of course, I didn't bother checking since hearing them would just stress me out.
If I had to do it anyway, I'd do it perfectly.
I sat in front of the mirror and let the maids tend to me.