Chapter 10
Translator: True Detective
010. True Feelings
Yuna really, truly hates me.
Whine, whine. But I'm not particularly regretful or sad about that.
It's a given.
I'd hate it even more to force her to like me when she hates me. Because that would be truly exhausting for her.
I don't want to see Yuna having a hard time. I've already seen enough of that.
So I'm fine with our current relationship. Like a parallel line relationship? It's good that we go on endlessly but never touch until the end.
Hehehe. For reference, parallel lines mean lines that don't meet each other. I know everything.
Only then will Yuna not get hurt.
I'm truly satisfied with that. Because Yuna will also be 200% satisfied with that.
So, to move Yuna, who hates me, I have to speak to her using a tree frog's reverse psychology.
A tree frog is a friend who does everything the opposite way. Like, if you tell it to go left, it goes right, and if you tell it to go up, it goes down.
I spoke coldly to Yuna.
"There was no need for this."
"...Is that something you say to the person who just saved you?"
Yuna frowned.
Hehehe. Everything is going according to plan.
'But this really isn't something you say to someone who saved you.'
I should express my gratitude, say I was wrong, and do things like that...
But if I do that, Yuna's heart will hurt incredibly. Yuna is kind, so she doesn't easily forget the actions she's taken.
But I don't want to see Yuna's heart hurting...
So to Yuna, I must appear as an incredibly bad bitch. Truly.
Hehehe. Even I think it's a truly genius idea.
"I-it's not like it had to be you..."
Flinch.
My body's balance completely collapsed.
I barely tried to stand up, but I lost my center of gravity and ended up slumping right back down.
Because there was absolutely no strength going into my legs.
But at that moment.
"Uh, uh, uh...?"
Right before my eyes, it shined incredibly dazzlingly.
It was Yuna.
Yuna caught me from falling by holding me up like a princess!
'A-ah, this won't do!'
My body is incredibly dirty. So it shouldn't touch Yuna.
But Yuna is touching it. It must be incredibly filthy. S-she'll have to wash cleanly...
And nobody likes it when something they hate touches their body. That's the same for me too.
But I like this situation so much right now. Because Yuna was shoving her angry face right under my nose and saying something.
Hehehe. But I can't let my expression relax. I'm so happy and all, but I shouldn't make that kind of expression.
It's all for Yuna's sake.
"...You still haven't escaped from the memories of the old days. Even though you can't even stand properly."
"Yeah..."
That's right. I can't even stand. My legs hurt and there's no strength in my ankles.
Yuna looked down at me with bloodshot eyes.
Total trash. A gaze looking at absolute trash.
However.
Words completely different from my expectations popped out of Yuna's mouth.
"Hey. Why exactly are you acting so harshly towards me?"
"...Th-that's."
"Let's talk openly. For what reason exactly did you bully me like that? At first, I was only angry too, but thinking about it now, something is strange, isn't it. And, why do you say words that hurt others?"
With Yuna coming out like that, I was left completely speechless.
I-it was a distance where even our breaths could touch, so I tried to cover my mouth, hup!
Because my breath is incredibly dirty and all.
But Yuna snatch! grabbed my hand.
Ughhh. It hurt.
It felt like an incredibly red mark would be left on my wrist.
"Answer me. Right now."
I can't answer.
I absolutely must not speak my true feelings.
My true feelings are...
It's because I like Yuna.
"Because I hate you."
I like Yuna so much. It's not just her facial features, appearance, body shape, and voice that I like...
"I hate everything you have."
I truly liked the person named Yuna herself so much. Even the sight of her striving to smash her fate was truly incredibly respectable.
"Because I hate you yourself so much. Every action you take is disgusting and ugly."
This is all acting. Hehehe. The kind of acting to make Yuna hate me.
"It's all my true feelings. There's not a single lie..."
Yuna is an existence like a tree that receives plenty of light and grows high, high up.
And I play the role of a mushroom in the shade of that tree, making the tree sick.
And when the mushroom plops dead, it provides nutrients to the tree. Hehehe.
I thought of it myself, but it's a truly fitting metaphor. The kind of metaphor that even someone seeing it for the first time would easily understand.
I'm a total genius-
Smack!
With that, Yuna struck my cheek.
And with a thud, she dropped her head.
"...I shouldn't have saved you. You truly trash-like bitch. You're so disgusting I could die."
"Yeah..."
But that was enough.
Hehehe. My cheek is hurting. But there's something on Yuna's hand.
Blood.
Seeing my nosebleed smeared on it made my heart ache.
Because Yuna hates blood. She'll be truly incredibly annoyed.
If I could, I'd want to wipe it off for her, but it was obvious Yuna would hate that even more.
"Hey, I came to say, that I'm sorry for saying those things. And because I wanted to receive an apology from you."
"An apology?"
"Apologize for calling me an orphan."
It must have remained as a huge emotional wound, right?
I was truly, truly sorry.
Is it okay to apologize here?
But I didn't even say thank you to Yuna for saving me.
On top of that, if I don't apologize, I'm absolute trash, boohoo...
But I absolutely have to remain as trash to Yuna.
However.
For some reason.
I feel like I absolutely must apologize here.
Because I was truly in the wrong.
Saying something like that was too harsh. And it's right to apologize for harsh things.
I spoke with a trembling voice.
"For that... I'm sorry."
"Yeah. And let's never see each other again. Let's not pretend to know each other from now on either."
Th-that, I really hate. I hate it so much.
I really want to see Yuna a lot. But Yuna says she doesn't want to see me...
Then it's right to follow Yuna's wishes.
I, I have my pendant...
I can endure it with the picture of Yuna inside it. Because liking someone completely one-sidedly must be an incredibly painful thing for the other person too.
'N-not even pretending to know each other...'
Yuna has never called my name even once.
She's only ever said 'Hey.' It's true.
She definitely, incredibly didn't want to pretend to know me.
It was obvious she was hurt to the point where even calling my name was painful.
My chest swells up incredibly as if it's going to burst, and it truly, completely hurts.
It, it... hurts so much that I'm on the verge of tears, seriously...
It's not because my heart hurts, but because I think I understand how much Yuna's heart must have hurt.
"Then I'll get lost."
Yuna slowly turned around.
'A-ah, no.'
Yuna told me not to pretend to know her.
But that's from now on.
I-it's not 'from now on' yet. Our conversation isn't over yet. So that doesn't apply.
Because I haven't been able to say everything I wanted to say yet.
So I waddled over and approached Yuna.
And I squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed Yuna's uniform sleeve.
I know.
That she will hate it incredibly and find it unpleasant.
But for some reason, my voice won't come out right now.
It's coming out, but it's an incredibly tearful voice, so I feel like Yuna will truly, truly hate it.
So I have no other choice but this method.
S-soon the world will probably spin around again, or I'll get kicked in the stomach, or fall flat and end up staring at the sky.
That... won't do. If I lose consciousness from that, I won't be able to say what I want to say.
B-because this is really my last chance...
However.
Surprisingly, such a thing didn't happen.
"Let go. Because it's truly dirty. You. This is my last warning."
S-sorry...
I flinched and immediately let go of Yuna's sleeve.
And I spoke quietly and softly, just loud enough for only Yuna to hear.
"Yuna Castilla."
"...Do you have something left to say?"
"You have to be careful at the masquerade ball."
"What did you say?"
A-ah...!
I made a mistake!
Yuna looking down at me was truly so pretty and such an angel that I accidentally misspoke!
Originally, I was supposed to tell her not to be careful, to go and do everything, and to drink plenty of poisoned drinks too!
Only then would Yuna do the exact opposite out of her tree frog mentality!
B-but...
I wanted to cry. Tears began to stream down.
I already said it. So Yuna will probably do the exact opposite of my words.
However...
"A conspiracy is, hiding there. So you have to be very careful. So please be incredibly careful. If you just pick up and eat anything... absolutely not."
"What are you talking about."
I couldn't bring myself to say 'don't get hurt' and 'be incredibly, incredibly careful'.
Because the moment I do that, it felt like Yuna's feelings toward me would crumble or waver.
Because I must remain a villain to Yuna forever...
"...I don't believe you. It must be a trick to make me anxious for no reason."
"B-but..."
Yuna narrowed her eyes.
"...I said I don't believe a single word you say. So get lost."
"Y-yeah..."
The strength in my legs completely gave out.
When that happened, a bunch of tears came pouring out too.
Yuna walked further and further away.
I reached out my arm, but it was a distance I couldn't possibly reach.
'...Wh-what should I do now?'
I absolutely have to help Yuna, no matter what it takes.
S-so...
"The masquerade ball. So there's something going on there? Pfft. So that's why you're pathetically begging me for help."
"...I want to go there."
"Hmph. It's not like I can't help you."
Here, for now... I have to use every hand available to me.
It's for Yuna's sake.