Turtle Showdown in the Moonlit Stream
How's it feel? Being in a turtle's body?
—Gasp!
I was startled for two reasons.
First, the voice that had swooped in from the side was directed at me.
Second, when I whipped my head around, the owner of that voice was a turtle who looked just like me.
—What're you staring at like that? Huh? You squinting at me? Where're you from? I'll bite your nose off.
—….
This turtle sported a prominent X-shaped scar right on his pig-like snout of a nose. Even at first sight, his cranky personality was plain as day from his mug.
And then there was his aggression, neck stretching out like elastic, sizing up his attack angle. I had a pretty good idea who this guy was.
—Raphael, right?
—...Huh. A turtle I've never seen knows my name?
Donatello had told me the bravest, most rebellious turtle in their gang was Raphael. No way I wouldn't recognize him.
—No need to be so on guard. I heard about you from Donatello and came looking.
—Donatello? Our Donatello?!
—This might take a while, but let me introduce myself first. Right now I'm in turtle form, but originally, I'm human.
—...What? Human?
—Yeah. Let me reintroduce myself. I'm veterinarian Baek Min-hyeok... Ack?!
Whoosh!
'This crazy bastard?!'
Raphael didn't even give me a chance to explain that I'd come all the way to Cheonggyecheon in Donatello's place.
Crack!
He lunged with a surprise neck extension, snapping at me.
If I hadn't done two months of boxing a few years back, I wouldn't have dodged Raphael's assault by the skin of my teeth.
—What the hell are you doing!
Until now, I'd transformed into all sorts of animals, but I'd never been attacked by one like this.
Even as I flailed my webbed hands and hastily backed away, spitting out words, Raphael didn't let up.
—Who the hell are you? That human who kidnapped Donatello during the day—his name was Baek Min-hyeok or something?
Whoosh—Crunch!
—Wait, wait! Calm down a sec....
—And now some turtle I've never seen shows up in our turf saying what? Where's our Donatello, you punk!
Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!
Was this the wild for real?
Raphael's neck coiled and shot out like a spring over and over, charging at me ferociously.
—Calm down! I can explain everything, so stop attacking....
Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!
I hadn't expected him to be this aggressive.
Telling him to calm down was like pouring oil on a fire.
With eyes rolled back, Raphael stretched his neck out to two-thirds the length of his shell and barreled toward me.
'This guy's not one for talking.'
Living as a turtle was exhausting with this frail body. If a brawl was inevitable, best to end it quick.
—Heh heh. Yeah, fight back! Turtles converse with bites. So... Gack!
Thud! Thud thud!
Raphael had no idea.
That while he was attacking, I'd been adapting to the water's flow in a flash.
Thud thud thud!
And that my music boxing instructor from those two months had called me a natural with a killer hook.
—Krrgh! Guh-hurk! Ow, ow, it hurts! Hurts hurts!
I felt the current with my whole body, weaving and bobbing to dodge Raphael's strikes.
Snap! Snap! Snap!
Then I countered with webbed punches into his openings.
—Hey. You had a lot to say earlier. Keep talking. Oh? Not pulling back that neck anymore?
—N-no. Let's... talk it out!
—Oh. So you're not backing down?
Truth be told, with him squealing like that, the fight was pretty much decided.
But I couldn't let my guard down.
This place wasn't the Cheonggyecheon I strolled along—it was basically a wild safari.
And in the wild, hierarchies had to be set firm, or a coup could pop off anytime.
Clonk! Clonk! Clonk clonk clonk!
That's why me now slamming a rock onto Raphael's shell wasn't personal venting—it was following nature's rules.
—Groooan....
After the muddy brawl stirred up the water into a frenzy,
—Y-you're strong. ...I lose.
Raphael swam right up and bowed his head meekly. A great victory for nature.
—Told you to listen when I said we could talk. Anyway, I won't repeat myself, so listen up. The reason I came here is....
With Raphael calmed down, I explained why I'd come to Cheonggyecheon under the moonlight. His mouth gaped wide as he listened silently.
First, because I was really a human in disguise. And second....
—What? It takes a whole year for the shell to regrow? How am I supposed to live cooped up like that?
—...That's the third time you've said the same thing. Listen. It takes a year to fully heal, but Donatello will be back in a week.
—Oh, right. Ahem. Hm.
Raphael furrowed his reverse-eight-shaped brow like he was organizing his thoughts, then slowly spoke.
—Hmm. So in short, you're here to find the other turtles, right?
—Yeah. Not just Donatello—you, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Splinter, all of them need checkups.
They might be fine if they didn't swallow coins, but if even one did... they'd all need surgery.
—Smart move coming to me first. I never hid. I was gonna bite the human who kidnapped Donatello if he showed up again, so I stuck around.
—….
—Ahem. Yeah, that was my plan earlier. Not anymore, of course. Anyway, I know where the others are.
—Really?
Raphael puffed up proudly, stretching his neck long to nod.
—Three times a year—spring, summer, fall. We do mock drills for emergencies. That's when everyone scatters to their secret spots and regroups after a week. Heh heh, and I skipped drills to practice tracking instead.
—...Impressive.
It sounded like plain rebelliousness to me, but since I needed his help, I held my tongue.
—Now's when my tracking skills shine. Let's find Leonardo first. He's closest.
I nodded and followed Raphael.
—By the way. You're doing us a favor, so you gotta do one for me too. Fair's fair.
—Free checkups... and treatment depending on results. And you're talking fairness? Turtle attitude for real?
—Ahem. Hm.
Raphael, leading the swim, cleared his throat awkwardly, then craned his long neck back to glare at me.
—It's not hard. That one-on-one we had earlier? Don't tell the others. That's it.
—….
This turtle.
Not content with free care, he wanted his pride guarded too.
'Is this a person? No... right, he's a turtle. Makes sense.'
With his serious gaze, Raphael meant it.
—...Don't worry. No way I would.
—Heh heh. Knew you got it. Then....
If I framed it by rank, it felt weird, but honestly speaking as a human.
Beating a bear, tiger, or lion in a fight? Everyone would be shocked, eyes wide in awe.
But a turtle?
I'd bet my vet license no one would bat an eye if word got out about a turtle brawl.
—Pinky swear. Gotta trust you then.
—...?
Oblivious to my thoughts, Raphael eyed me suspiciously and extended his webbed front paw. I stared at it blankly.
—What's this?
—It's our turf's turtle sibling ritual. Stack front paws and rub—turtles who do that swear to keep the promise till their shells wear out. So pinky swear.
—….
Slap!
—Heh heh. Good. Let's go!
Like Kang Baek-ho slapping Seo Tae-woong's hand, Raphael smacked mine hard enough to ripple the water, then hummed ahead.
His swim was like a bird's slow wingbeats—graceful, but never slow—as he glided through rocks, gravel, and seaweed.
'Amazing. My old swims feel like nothing.'
Turtles averaged 5-11 km/h swimming.
But short bursts hit 16 km/h.
Average human male runs 13 km/h, female 10. Felt the speed in water now.
—Heh heh. You sure you're human? Swimming like a born turtle. How's the turtle body feel?
I was swimming side-by-side under the moonlit surface now. Raphael slowed to match me and asked.
—...Honestly? I like it. First time feeling this. Human swimming? Not even close.
How to describe it?
Every balanced kick of my webbed limbs pushed me forward like shoving the ground.
—Heh heh. Glad you like it. Why not live as a turtle forever? Way easier than human life.
If I could keep this free-gliding feeling, living as an aquatic sometimes wouldn't be bad. Heading to find the others felt utterly peaceful.
On a sweltering summer day, no need for far trips—just turn turtle with Ssal-i and splash in Cheonggyecheon. Not bad at all.
—Hey. Leonardo!
—Hm? Raphael? Weren't you the other way? What's up.... Huh? Who's that turtle? Never seen him.
A bit larger shell than Raphael's.
A sterner face. That was Leonardo, leader of the turtle crew.
—Ah. First, about this guy....
—Baek Min-hyeok. Veterinarian. Here to help the turtles.
—What? Vet? A turtle-lookalike out of nowhere sa—Mmff? Guh!
But despite his bulk, Leonardo's face was twisted in pain.
Good call pushing myself to come to Cheonggyecheon tonight.
'Donatello ate 32 coins. Doesn't make sense if the others are fine.'
Raphael, my first nighttime encounter, had anger issues but no physical problems.
—Nngh. My stomach....
But seeing Leonardo grit his teeth against the pain confirmed the coin-swallowers were in bad shape.
—How bad's the stomachache? How many coins do you think you ate?
—Guh. C-coins?
—Yeah. Round alloy money called coins. The ones people toss wishing. Donatello ate a ton, so he's in surgery and hospitalized now. Your pain's probably coins pressing organs after gulping them....
Pffft—Pffft pffft—
—Ahh, so refreshing. Haha. Couldn't listen proper with my business. So you're originally human, bro?
Leonardo grinned, extending a front paw like a handshake.
—….
And seeing his excretions bobbing stinkily downstream behind him solidified my conviction.
That living human was way better.