Even Erase the Black Box
Ssal-i's birthday was now just one day away.
We'd planned to take a pet taxi all the way to Ddaengddaeng Full Villa, but I was anxious about snagging a reservation right on time.
And since it was our first trip together, who knew what curveballs might come up? I was mulling it over when...
A savior appeared.
A giant of a savior.
"Haha, it's just a beater I'm lending out, so use it without worry. Just take it slow on left and right turns. If you whip around too sharp, it feels like it might tip a bit. But Director, with your build and weight, you should be fine."
"......"
Only Kang Ha-neul would call my 183cm frame "just right."
"By the way, Director, you know how to drive? I had no idea you even had a license—you're always taking the bus."
"Hmm. Closet license?"
Kim Mi-so chimed in out of nowhere, and Kang Ha-neul's hand froze mid-handover of the keys.
"I'm a general's driver from my service days. Drove a Grandeur for over a year. Hand 'em over with peace of mind."
"Huh? Weren't you an aerial disinfection vet in the military, Director? I thought most male vets went that route."
Back then, two-stars got the Grandeur XG, three-stars the Chairman, four-stars the Equus. Didn't matter if it wasn't top-tier.
Hey, not driving a Retona with busted AC was lucky enough.
"Active duty gets you out faster. Not sure now, but back then aerial vets served a full three years."
"Ugh... three years is brutal."
"Haha, a general's driver? You must be good. Were you a natural even before enlistment?"
"Nah, I didn't even have a civilian license back then. Just got lucky. Got my military one at Yaseo Bridge and gripped the wheel for the first time..."
Kang Ha-neul's hand froze again as he tried to pass the keys.
"Haha... you do have a regular license, right?"
"Military ones convert. Give it here already?"
"Uhaha, drive safe!"
No wonder he looked at me funny.
The general I drove for was a deputy division commander nearing discharge. I was probably the only unlicensed general's driver in Seoul Corps Command history.
'See? Not all my luck's bad. Got a free license out of it.'
It was a birthday trip for Ssal-i, but my first vacation since opening the clinic had me buzzing too.
And the next morning, bright and early.
Time to hit the road for Ssal-i's birthday party.
"Alright, Dad's all set! You ready, Ssal-i?"
—Yeah! All ready.
"Yes! Time to roll ou—wait, what's that in your mouth? Looks heavy."
—Huh? Oh, th-this is Ssal-i's luggage.
Yesterday, he'd asked for an old bag, so I'd given him a duffel. Guess he stuffed it with his favorite toys and treats.
"Gimme. Dad'll carry it."
—N-no! Ssal-i can handle it!
"Aigoo, fine. Let's load up quick."
—Okay!
Ssal-i was so cute right then, I wanted to scoop him up and ruffle that fluffy fur.
But the road was long—we'd save the full spoiling session for Ddaengddaeng Full Villa.
"Okay, luggage loaded. Treat bag in too, Ssal-i?"
—Treats? Oh, yeah! All packed.
"Good. Let's hit the road?"
—Yeah! Go go gooo!
Beep-beep.
Kang Ha-neul's tiny Ray didn't match his massive frame at all.
Makes sense for a tall guy—limited options when buying.
I yanked the packed-back seats forward and fired up the engine.
"Tell me if you wanna nap midway, Ssal-i. We'll stop at a rest area."
—Yeah! Vroom vroom! Let's gooo!
Me in the driver's seat, Ssal-i buckled into his pet carrier in back. Off to Ddaengddaeng Full Villa.
Not long after we started driving, Ssal-i started making these uncomfortable grunts.
—Hmm... hnn...
"What's up, Ssal-i? Gotta potty? Use the pad next to you—it's fine. Or hit a rest stop? One's coming up soon."
—N-no, not that... hehe. Can't scare Dad?
"Huh? Scare me how?"
—Hehe... wellll...
Ssal-i grinned sheepishly, and an inexplicable chill ran down my spine.
—Hey, what's takin' so long?!
—Maeng-maeng-i needs out too!
And that chill hit reality fast.
"Whoa! Almost slammed the brakes! What the—Thunder and Maeng-maeng-i followed us?!"
The duffel in the rearview was wriggling.
Definitely not just treats and toys.
—Hehe, busted. Come out, guys! We're made!
—Sheesh. Weren't we s'posed to stay hidden?
That voice was Nureoguman for sure.
How many were crammed in there? Dread flooded me.
I gripped the wheel tight, swallowed hard. Then Ssal-i yanked the zipper with his teeth as it thrashed wilder.
—Human Dad! Hi there!
—Tch. Without the kids, we wouldn'ta got caught.
—Bro! Almost forgot your face. How long's it been!
"Hey hey hey, stay back there! Messing with me while driving could cause an accident! Sit! On the seats, now!"
Rearview: Nureoguman, Thunder, Maeng-maeng-i. Three of 'em.
"...Wait, Thunder, Nureoguman. Isn't it hibernation season for you?"
—Heh heh, bro. Mid-March—what hibernation? 'Sides, squirrels half-hibernate anyway. Ssal-i's birthday bash? We had to crash!
I'd forgotten raccoons and squirrels usually wake by early March. My head was spinning.
"This is nuts. Dashcam's catching all this... Ssal-i, seriously? Warn Dad if you're bringing friends!"
—Hehe, sorry, Dad. But birthdays are for surprises, right?
He must've overheard guardians in the waiting room.
Clearly misunderstood, but hard to scold mid-drive.
I tamped down my boiling frustration and checked the rearview again. Something off.
"Huh? Just you three? Where's Il-nam-i? Hiding somewhere?"
That tiny relief—one less—vanished quick.
—Aw, bro. We're all buds, right? Course he's here.
—Il-nam-i's flyin' overhead. Wanted to fly too, but long flights ain't my thing yet, so we rode together.
Pfft—like a candle in the wind.
Chaos. Total chaos.
Glancing at the rearview constantly was dangerous enough, but one overhead too?
—Hmm... hey, Doc. Signals incoming.
"Signals? What signals?"
—Feels like poop's comin'.
"What?"
Ssal-i's birthday party plans had kicked off my era of suffering.
"No no no. Not allowed. Use the potty pad up top for Ssal-i."
—Sorry, can't. I don't do business indoors—give me space. Everyone watchin' kills my focus.
"Nureoguman! You're an urban raccoon—how can't you go inside?! Just go!"
—Can't means can't. Huff. Floor might work better?
"No! Absolutely not!"
I'd pulled strings mentioning my general driver days to borrow this. Couldn't trash Kang Ha-neul's ride.
"Rest area's close—hold it. Nowhere to pull over now!"
—Hmm. Fair. Hurry it up, though.
"Ten minutes. You can hold that long?"
Then what at the rest area? Leashless raccoon spotted by folks?
"Damn it!!"
—Whoa! Human Dad's zoomin'!
—Bro!
Told Kang Ha-neul it was just me and Ssal-i. Couldn't return it raccoon-shat.
Or let him crap inside? Who cleans raccoon-pooped seats?
Mid-panic-thoughts, I blurted to Nureoguman.
But his calm reply cut it short.
—Hmm. Can't hold that long.
"Can't?! How long then?"
—Eh... like 10, 9, 8...
"You bastard! Don't countdown now!"
They say humans unleash superhuman strength in crises.
My eyes spotting the rest area.
My hands turning the wheel.
My foot stomping the gas.
Time slowed to a crawl, every sense syncing in perfect flow.
—5... 4... 3...
"Damn it!"
Screeech!
"Ssal-i, door!"
—Yeah!
—2...
Thud!
"Push! Outta the car!"
—Hngh!
Ssal-i shoved a furry paw in, chomped Nureoguman's scruff, and hurled him out.
He tumbled into the rest area's grassy corner, landed in a roll, then...
Pfft! Pffft! Pffft!
Relieved himself gloriously.
No rest area on the way? Car would've been a shitshow.
Dizzying just imagining the stench.
"Ha... seriously. I don't brag much, but if not for general driver days, no way I'd pull that drift."
I don't pat myself on the back often, but even Jesus would've cracked here.
Anyway, grabbed trash bags and latex gloves from the glovebox to head out.
—Human Dad. Gotta ask permission to pee?
Maeng-maeng-i, pronunciation crystal clear now, tilted his head.
"Nah, no need. Just not inside the car..."
—Hehe. Good. Maeng-maeng-i already went.
"......"
And oddly, he'd dodged the pad, leaving his scent all over.
"...Maeng-maeng-i. Going without permission's fine, but still..."
—Just do your biz quiet and wipe with your feet—no biggie, right?
—Aha! Got it!
"Wipe with feet?! Potty goes on the pad only! And ask permission first if you're going en route, got it?!"
—Bro, one question?
"...What."
—What about stuff already wiped with feet?
"Ha... don't move. I'll handle Nureoguman's mess first."
Bag in hand, I trudged out. Then Il-nam-i swooped in on snowy wings, perching on my shoulder to whisper.
—Long time, Doc. Roof poop okay?
"......"
Kang Ha-neul's car needs a wash before return.
Black box wiped too.
"Heh heh. Feeling spry today, eh? Up and about."
The gray-haired man chuckled at the old dog peering out the window, rising from his spot.
A rare move for the senior pup who spent most days motionless. The man smiled warmly.
The apricot-furred Shichu simply gazed out at the spring-scented world beyond the glass.