Chapter 33: Bang-ul... Has a Tail?
“What do you mean? Did those hippos kill their own baby or something?”
Choi Eun-seo shook her head.
“Hippo enclosures usually have artificial ponds or pools, right? The keeper in charge at the time decided to try natural rearing, so he put the baby near the pool with Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i for a bit... and that's when she drowned.”
Hippos, who spend most of their time in water, have skin that's surprisingly sensitive to light despite their moist appearance.
Without moisture and prolonged exposure to sunlight, it cracks easily, and they secrete a red, blood-like fluid that acts like sunscreen.
That's why even rundown zoos make sure their hippo enclosures have pools deep enough to fully submerge an adult hippo's body.
And yet, she drowned there?
“What about Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i? They just watched?”
Choi Eun-seo nodded slightly and continued.
“Honestly, I didn't believe it at first. Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i were both artificially reared at the zoo, but when they have a baby, they should have maternal instincts. That's not something you teach—it's innate. But...”
Choi Eun-seo's expression hardened as she watched the hippo couple playfully splashing water at each other like a happily married pair.
“The way they treat Bang-ul makes it seem like the keeper wasn't lying. They show no interest in caring for their calf at all. It's like they've lost their instincts completely.”
“Bang-ul is the baby's name?”
Choi Eun-seo nodded.
“They tried natural rearing with Bang-ul a few more times, but Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i got so annoyed just having her nearby. They treated her like she was invisible. After repeating that a few times, Bang-ul started refusing to go near Gang-dong-i or Him-sun-i herself. Like a sulky kid.”
“...”
Given the circumstances, separating Bang-ul from her parents and switching to artificial rearing had been unavoidable.
Leaving her with overweight adults who already had joint issues—and who seemed annoyed by her presence—risked a major accident if she got accidentally squashed.
“Where's Bang-ul now?”
“She's in the artificial rearing room. I'll take you there. This way.”
Following Choi Eun-seo along the African wetlands exhibit, they came to a building with a sign featuring a cute baby hippo illustration and the words “Hippo Artificial Rearing Room.”
True to Saemangeum Safari's scale, it was easily around 100 pyeong just judging by the exterior.
Inside after the lead keeper and Choi Eun-seo, there stood a sturdy little hippo calf, boldly upright on her stubby legs.
“Euaaaah! That insane cuteness—what the hell!”
Reina clamped her hands over her mouth, desperately stifling her squeal.
Bang-ul's rear was that plump and tantalizing, begging to be squished.
“Cute, right? She's just turned four months old. But she probably already weighs twice as much as you, Reina. Over 80kg now.”
“Euaaa! She's sooo cute! Ears! The ears!”
Bang-ul's tiny ears flapped like a hummingbird's wings, as if she'd recognized them.
That little wiggle melted my heart like cotton candy soaked in water.
Reina stared at Bang-ul, whispering in awe.
“But she's only four months old and already 80kg? What a tank of a baby!”
“Not really. Pregnant hippos usually give birth in the water, and newborns weigh 25 to 50kg right from the start.”
“Hee? 50kg?”
“Bang-ul was 45kg at birth, so she might've been heavier than you even then.”
I wanted to bask in Bang-ul's cuteness too, but my time here was limited.
My main reason for coming to Saemangeum Safari was Shu-bil, after all.
“Eun-seo, if it's okay, could I take a quick look at Bang-ul? Oh, no misunderstanding—I'm sure the Saemangeum keepers and vets are doing a great job, but since I'm here...”
Choi Eun-seo chuckled, as if my cautious request was unnecessary worry.
“The director said to cooperate fully with whatever my sunbae asks. But how do you plan to check? From your show, it seems like your concept is that absolute rapport thing—talking to animals? Should we give you some space?”
“...Yeah, that'd be great.”
She couldn't even imagine I could understand animal speech. It was embarrassing in front of a junior I hadn't seen in years, but better to play the concept straight.
“Sunbae, you're a full-on TV star now. Just make sure to pat her down. We'll keep our distance.”
“Thanks.”
Artificially reared baby hippos often dislike water.
Without parents to teach them, they don't see spending time submerged as natural.
I took the damp towel handed to me and approached Bang-ul as she wiggled her plump rear.
“Hey, Bang-ul. I'm the vet uncle.”
—Huh? Vet sir? No, you're not. The vet sir is someone else.
“Bang-ul's smart. Your regular vet's still the same, uncle's just here to check on you. You're so cute and sturdy, I wanted to chat a bit. Okay?”
—Hmm.
Bang-ul glanced me up and down, then spun around, presenting only her plump rear.
“Why? Don't wanna talk unless it's your regular vet uncle?”
—No.
She avoided my eyes but answered promptly—adorably obedient.
“Mind if uncle wets you down?”
—Make me nice and moist, then.
“Uncle's a pro at skin care. Come over here?”
—Okaay.
Maybe from her four months of mountain wisdom?
Bang-ul didn't lisp as much as Maeng-maeng-i.
Thud. Thud.
She waddled over casually and plopped down, resting her heavy chin on my leg like it was familiar.
King-sized, king-level cute!
As I moistened her skin with the damp towel, I eased into the main topic.
“How've you been, Bang-ul? Getting along with mom and dad?”
She flapped her ears in brief confusion, then slumped her chin even heavier on my leg.
—I don't have a mom. Just dad.
“No mom? Your mom...”
—Uncle, but Bang-ul wants clothes too. Told dad, but he won't give any. Can't uncle give some?
'Clothes? What does that mean?'
As I puzzled over her words while busily wiping, Bang-ul flapped her round little ears and continued.
—Any clothes fine. Uncle's clothes okay. Dad's yellow clothes too.
'Yellow clothes? Don't tell me...'
An uneasy thought flashed through my mind. Still wiping her down diligently, I glanced back.
The only one in yellow nearby was the hippo curator smiling like a proud dad next to Choi Eun-seo.
Since gaining the ability to talk to animals, I'd drawn some conclusions.
Animals who don't freak out when I communicate fall into two categories usually.
First: babies without preconceptions.
Second...
'Oh no. She thinks she's human.'
Hand-reared ones who don't realize they're animals.
Especially in unavoidable artificial rearing cases like this, the tendency is stronger.
“Hmm... Bang-ul. Your mom and dad are out there, right? You've seen them a few times, I heard. Don't you remember?”
—Hehe. Uncle, don't say silly things. What uncle calls people aren't people. They're hippos.
“...”
Her ears flapped with utter conviction.
Bang-ul definitely thought she was human.
For clinic patients, I'd ease them into it over visits, carefully letting them realize they're not human without scaring their owners.
But time was short here.
I whispered gently into her ear as I moistened her body, a fact she wouldn't want to hear but needed to.
“Hmm... Bang-ul.”
—Yes?
“Don't be too shocked by what uncle's about to say. You see, actually...”
—Bang-ul is...?
“You're a hippo.”
—...?
Startled, she lifted her chin to look at me, then burst into giggles.
—Hehehe. Uncle's hilarious. Bang-ul's human. Not a hippo.
“Well... humans don't have tails. But Bang-ul... you have a tail?”
“...”
A short but suffocating silence fell between us.
For a while, only the squelching of the towel on her skin.
Then—
Splashplash!
“B-Bang-ul!”
—Waaah!
Bang-ul wailed pitifully and barreled into the massive bathtub-sized pool, sending up a huge splash as her near-80kg body dove in.
The keeper rushed over, eyes bulging.
“H-How? As expected of Vet Baek Min-hyeok!”
“...Pardon?”
“Incredible! Bang-ul hates water so much, getting her into the tub is always a huge ordeal. You're a true master!”
“Whoa... I didn't expect this. Amazing, sunbae.”
“Hehe, that's our director for you? Last Halloween special, he had hundreds of bats...”
Not a master—just stating facts.
The fact that she's a hippo, not human.
'...Sigh. I get it.'
As Bang-ul swam furious grief laps, Choi Eun-seo approached after whispering with Reina.
“Sunbae, the crew wants to film Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i, so I'm heading there with the keeper. Okay to leave you alone with Bang-ul?”
“Fine. Go handle it. I'll watch her a bit longer then join.”
“Got it, sunbae. See you soon.”
With the onlookers and cameras gone, time for a real talk with Bang-ul.
“Bang-ul.”
—...
“I know you hear me. Your ears are out.”
Maybe because she's only four hippo months old.
Bang-ul dunked her ears under and paddled sulkily with her stubby legs.
Perfect, actually.
That sulky attitude meant she already half-knew she was a hippo.
“...Bang-ul. Deep down, you know. That you're a hippo.”
—No! Bang-ul's not a hippo, she's human! Where do I look like a hippo!
Splash! She lifted her plump face amid the spray.
Her face screamed on the verge of tears. I gazed at it steadily.
'How to put this... Head to toe, pure hippo.'
Logic never works on kids with flipped eyes.
No choice but painful fact bombardment.
“You can't see yourself, so maybe you don't realize, but...”
I came to the safari for Shu-bil's alchemy, not hippos. No telling how long I could stay.
“Flappy ears, stubby legs, and most of all, your toes... Bang-ul has four toes. See uncle's fingers?”
—Huh?
Her eyes widened like saucers, flicking between her submerged front feet and my outstretched hand.
Her beady pupils shook wildly—heart-piercing. But now was the cruel moment to drive it home.
“And... pooping in the water like that proves you're a hippo. Humans use the bathroom for that.”
—L-Liar!
“Hard to believe, I know, but true. The keeper you call dad—ever see him poop in water like you?”
—Uh... no. But maybe he does it secretly when Bang-ul's asleep!
“No. Humans don't, kids or adults.”
—Ugh... waaah! Liar!
Bang-ul spun her stubby tail like a pinwheel, unleashing rage poops. Once the sphincter relaxes, it doesn't clench easy—universal across species.
—Waaah! Waaaaaah!
Her wails echoed through the rearing room for a while, until they finally subsided.
Thud. Thud.
Bang-ul dragged her plump legs limply up the stairs.
I rinsed her drooping, floor-dragging chin with clean water and cradled her, patting gently.
After a silent chin-rest on my leg, she spoke cautiously.
—Actually... I've thought maybe I'm a hippo. But... the adult hippos outside aren't my mom and dad, for sure.
“Why's that?”
—Adult hippos ignore me! Won't even look! They hate my ears!
As she burst into tears again, I moistened her back and asked carefully.
“Would you want to live with them if your mom and dad... I mean, the adult hippos... showed interest?”
—Hmph. Dunno. Don't care if they do or not.
Despite the tsun, her flapping ears showed she missed parental touch.
At four hippo months, her words and actions mismatched, sure.
'At least there's hope for her.'
Why Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i neglected her was a mystery.
But luckily, Bang-ul was still open to bonding.
“Okay. Wait here a sec? Uncle'll talk to the adults and come back.”
—Huh? W-What're you gonna say?
She looked up, curiosity and fear mixing, ears quivering.
I reassured her while wiping.
“Don't worry. I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you. Won't take long. Got it?”
—O-Okay. But... don't say weird stuff. Like Bang-ul misses them or whatever...
“Promise. Play in the water a bit. Keep skin moist to be a cool hippo.”
—Okay.
I stepped out and headed straight to Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i, where the crew swarmed.
“These fish are cichlids, in a symbiotic relationship cleaning hippo skin scales, parasites, and mouth debris. But cichlids just support—the keepers handle tartar removal...”
Choi Eun-seo was already smoothly interviewing, filming-savvy.
The crew captured the keeper cleaning the couple's gaping maws with a hose and special brush.
“You're here, sunbae.”
“Yeah. Bang-ul seems healthy. Mind if I get close to Gang-dong-i and Him-sun-i?”
“Go ahead. They're artificially reared big babies, used to people.”
“Take your time, Director. We're done with them, just finishing interior shots.”
Perfect timing.
Thrilled PD Nam Gyu-won led the group off for enclosure interiors.
Only me left with the 3-ton-plus hippo couple.
As I approached for deep counseling—
—Hey. Vet. You understand animal talk, right?
“Hm?”
The hippo spoke first.