Trap Card Activated
While Yohan was unleashing his blazing filial piety as the flame filial son, the first half between Real Madrid and SL Benfica came to an end.
Right at the start of the second half, I returned to my natural striker position. There were plenty of reasons, but pushing even one step further risked shattering Dongjun. If it were some other nation's prospect, I'd charge ahead regardless. But our Dongjun? He's Korea's once-in-40-years attacking left back. Gotta cherish and nurture him. Can't handle him rough. Anyway, that's why I'm back up top as striker.
"Luis!"
I dropped a bit to help in midfield. Luis Garcia immediately chewed me out for it.
"Hey! If you're not pressing, you're in the way—get back up front!"
I ignored Luis Garcia and just blankly stared at him sprinting around like a dog.
"Puta! Get lost!"
I gritted my teeth through the ongoing harassment and humiliation. Then opportunity knocked. Antoni intercepted the ball and it rolled toward Luis Garcia. I bolted forward, shoved him aside before he could touch it, and took possession.
The sudden hit sent Luis tumbling forward, foul curses spilling from his mouth.
Thwack—!
"Hosita! Puta Madre!!"
I lightly ignored the loser's cries from behind and looked ahead. Iker Bravo was sprinting down the left flank. I slotted a pass into the space ahead of him.
Iker Bravo took it into the box, drawing the defenders' eyes. Our gazes met, and I darted into the box.
"Huh? That's a bit short?"
He crossed, but our signals must've mismatched—the ball came back a touch too far.
"Eh, just smack it anyway. Might get lucky and go in."
Veteran experience shines here: quick decisions in the clutch. I whipped out the so-called scorpion kick with my heel.
The ball struck true, arcing slowly over the keeper and rippling the net.
"Vamos—!!!"
I sprinted to the corner flag, roaring in celebration. The stadium screen showed me pumping up the crowd, and my devotees at Santiago Bernabeu burst into a unified hymn.
"The soccer god Jesus prophesied!"
"Yohan shall smash the Catalan fools, with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!"
"The Four Horsemen are proud Yohan's brothers!"
...Are they telling me to have more kids? I flashed an awkward smile at the cheer. Then the rage-blind 'mad poodle' Luis Garcia charged over, baring his teeth.
"Grrrrrr—!"
Guy really cut his hair like a poodle and turned into a dog. I pinned the snarling Luis Garcia and started scheming.
One more goal, then back to training Dongjun. His mental should be recovered by now, right?
Kim Dongjun completely ignored Jesus waving and greeting him.
Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact.
Desperately avoiding Jesus' gaze, Dongjun received Tanaka's pass back to evade pressure—only to get sent tumbling by Jesus' sharp tackle.
Jesus stole the ball, fired it quick to Iker Bravo sprinting left, then leaned down to the grounded Dongjun and whispered:
"Kekeke. This exalted one shall become your trials and tribulations."
The horrific first-half flashback crushed his recovering mental. Dongjun stared blankly at Jesus.
"Hyung Jesus... why do you do this to me?!"
Jesus puffed up like he was dropping profound wisdom, spouting nonsense. Dongjun's blood boiled.
"Dongjun! You're the son of Joseon! Rise! Endure! Grow stronger! This one shall be your trials and adversity! Hurry up and level up!"
"What kinda bullshit is that...?!"
To show rather than tell, Jesus started dribbling straight at Dongjun again.
A shoulder fake to blow past.
"Pretend to break left, then right! Pretend right, then back left. Easy peasy, right?"
Nutmeg through the legs.
"Nutmeg!"
Sandpaper flick past.
"Flick! Rainbow flick!"
Random back-keep while facing away.
"Man Geun Chu!"
It took 3-4 Benfica players clinging to finally steal it.
Dongjun's stamina was rock bottom.
"Fuuuuck— he plays soccer way too goddamn good."
His eyes glazed over, pupils dilated. Then Jesus grabbed the ball again. Dongjun charged and slid in a rough tackle.
"Aaaagh—!"
Jesus hit the deck. The ref pulled a card from his pocket. Dongjun ignored it all, staring at the downed Jesus and muttering:
"Did... did I get him...?"
Magic words? Jesus peeked up, locked eyes, grinned wickedly, and mouthed:
Dongjun read the lips, piecing it together slowly.
"You… just… activated my trap card?"
Full Time: Real Madrid 4 : 1 SL Benfica.