Chapter 78
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 78
Chapter Title: Johan -3
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Real Madrid's match against Valencia had just wrapped up not long ago.
The Spanish Royal Football Federation announced the severity of Jesus Joo's suspension.
[Spanish Royal Football Federation RFEF suspends Jesus Joo for 4 matches.]
Once the additional suspension was announced,
Real Madrid immediately filed an appeal.
[Real Madrid appeals Jesus Joo's suspension. 'The punishment is too harsh.']
The Spanish Royal Football Federation accepted Real Madrid's appeal, and Jesus Joo's suspension was finalized at a reduced 3 matches.
[Spanish Royal Football Federation accepts Real Madrid's appeal, issuing a 3-match suspension.]
While Real Madrid was desperately working to reduce Jesus Joo's suspension,
Jesus Joo himself had plunged into childcare hell.
Early in the morning,
Johan toddled over clutching a soccer ball, whining for someone to play with him.
"Dada, soccer!"
Jesus Joo gave a wry smile at the sight.
"Johan... can we play a little later?"
Johan grabbed his dad's hand and started fussing as if to say there was no way.
"Dada! Soccer! Soccer!"
Song Yu-na stepped in to help her exhausted-looking husband.
"Johan, how about Mommy plays with you instead of Daddy?"
"Nooo-! Hate!"
One word from Johan sank her spirits.
"...You don't like Mommy?"
"That's not what he means, you know that."
Jesus Joo comforted Song Yu-na, got to his feet, took Johan's hand, and headed for the yard. That's when Patrasche came bounding over.
"Woof!"
Spotting Patrasche, Johan ran to him and hugged tight.
"Patwache!"
The two headed to the yard and started playing soccer like old pros.
"Dada-! Watch!"
As Johan tried to dribble, Patrasche approached, lowered into a defensive stance.
Johan shielded the ball from Patrasche with practiced ease.
Jesus Joo let out a quiet gasp of admiration at how it looked like they'd played more than just once or twice.
'At this rate, he's practically human.'
In the tense standoff, Johan moved first.
He tried some footwork in front of Patrasche,
feinting with alternating legs.
Patrasche, apparently annoyed, committed a foul by nudging Johan's leg.
Johan plopped down on the grass from the tackle.
Thud-
The fouled toddler shot to his feet with an angry look and marched over to Patrasche, tapping him lightly on the back of the head.
Pok-!
Patrasche looked utterly wronged as he gazed at Jesus Joo (the referee).
"Whine-!"
Johan, meanwhile, demanded applause from Yu-na (the spectator) who'd come out to watch, then trotted off the field.
"Mommy-! Mommy-!"
The scene felt oddly familiar, drawing a hollow laugh from Jesus Joo.
'Are these two ganging up on me right now?'
(Excited soccer noob bragging about live attendance.jpg)
(League Round 11 UD Las Palmas vs Real Madrid Estadio Gran Canaria ticket.jpg)
(3-match suspension confirmed.jpg)
lololololol wtf lolololol
Went all the way to Las Palmas island for a live match
And got suspended lmfaooooo
(Rage-fueled SNS terror.jpg)
And then the rage terror bombing begins!
(SNS block ending.jpg)
The classic ending for a blackening soccer noob lolol
lololololololol
Went to the island just to watch live?
Nah, stopped by for tourism and planned to catch the live game on the way back lolol
Pls don't suspend him when I go live
Sure~ High chance of suspension~
How do I actually catch Jesus bro live? Difficulty too high?
Sigh... Guess I gotta drop the pro tip again.
First, book the ticket.
Second, set out some water and pray.
Third, beg Jesus bro on SNS not to get suspended.
Fourth, everything rests on the will of soccer god Jesus Joo, so relax.
TL;DR: Up to Jesus bro's mood.
Inshallah? Lmao
All according to god's will.
Prayer meta lol
A player where you're not worried about bench or lineup exclusion, but suspension
A player where suspension odds beat bench or exclusion odds for live games
Only suspension can stop him. -Basement Soccer Noob-
Time flew by while handling Johan's childcare at home.
This season, Colchester United and Mallorca were on winning streaks as well.
Colchester United was currently in 1st place, and Mallorca in 5th.
If things continued like this, Colchester United would achieve back-to-back titles and promotion, while Mallorca would qualify for the Europa League.
Mallorca fans were lamenting that if Roberto Fabian hadn't transferred, they could've challenged for the Champions League this season. But honestly, Mallorca's squad probably couldn't have handled it anyway.
And finally, Real Madrid—my team—was crushing everyone in the league, holding an overwhelming 1st place.
Unfortunately, the unbeaten streak broke while I was out, but the locker room was united around me.
We were gunning for a treble this season.
The day I returned to training after the suspension ended,
I snuck into Valdebebas in frog army fatigues without Yu-na knowing and reported back to Manager Valverde.
"Sir! Reporting for duty after suspension!"
"...What do I even do with this?"
Manager Valverde looked flustered and glanced around for help.
Self-proclaimed K-wave expert Jorginho sauntered over with a grin.
"Come on, Jesus! Do it again. I'll play along perfectly."
But true to contrarian frog form, Jesus Joo shook his head when told to perform.
"Don't wanna if you're telling me to."
"..."
I sidled up to Jorginho, who was glaring murderously, and changed the subject.
"Aw, don't be mad. Check this out—Johan started walking?"
"Oh... so hell begins now."
Once baby talk started,
Teammates with kids gathered around,
and we dove into deep discussions on parenting.
"Whoa, looks like he's got real talent."
"Huh? You think? He's pretty average, no?"
"...Jesus, don't view the world through your lens."
"Idiot, he's just saying that to hear more bragging."
Training that day ended in a cheerful atmosphere. The moment I got home, though, childcare duty kicked right back in.
"Dada soccer!"
Santiago Bernabéu, where Real Madrid was facing Villarreal.
One Madridista there vented his frustration.
"Puta! Jesus! Score already!"
The man couldn't wrap his head around it. Jesus Joo was starting, yet the scoreboard read 0-0.
Thirty minutes in with no goals—he had to voice his displeasure.
"Hey, you bastards! Feed the ball to Jesus!"
It wasn't some repulsive Barcelona or our gracious neighbors Atlético Madrid handing us wins—it was mid-table Villarreal, which made it even more baffling.
"You fucking pricks!"
As the crowd hurled profanities at the pitch,
Jesus Joo, jogging leisurely, picked up the ball near the halfway line.
The stadium's vibe shifted in an instant.
"Madrid! Madrid! Hala Madrid!"
"Jesus! Jesus!"
Jesus Joo lofted a left-footed out-front pass to Iker Bravo cutting in from the opposite flank.
Iker Bravo shook off the defender and slotted a pass to Rafael Obrador breaking into half-space.
Rafael Obrador cut back and laid it off. Roberto Fabian just redirected it into the net for the goal.
Real Madrid's home fans erupted into chants, celebrating.
"Historia que tú hiciste, historia por hacer"
(History you made, history yet to make)
"Porque nadie resiste, tus ganas de vence"
(Since no one can resist your thirst for victory)
[Jesus Joo's heat map shows him unusually playing as an attacking midfielder.]
[Yes, Jesus Joo is usually positioned to score anytime, but this match he's focusing on assists.]
[And as I speak, Jesus Joo gets the ball again. Villarreal presses hard. But Jesus Joo shrugs it off casually and switches play long to the flank.]
[Alejandro Jiménez receives it. Starts carrying the ball forward.]
[Alejandro Jiménez links up with Luis García, piercing Villarreal's defense.]
[Inside the box, Jesus Joo and Roberto Fabian have positioned themselves.]
[Alejandro Jiménez crosses! Oh, it's drifting a bit behind?!]
[Whoa! Jesus Joo! Leans back and unleashes an overhead kick!!]
[Goooaaaal! Jesus Joo's overhead kick flies precisely into the top corner, shaking the net!]
[Jesus Joo celebrates by dancing with teammates at the corner flag after scoring! Score's now 2-0—Real Madrid pulling away in a flash!]
.
.
Full time.
Real Madrid 3 : 0 Villarreal.
[Jesus Joo's first full-time appearance of the 40-41 season! Betting odds hit 50x! Even pro gamblers didn't see Jesus Joo's first full 40-41 season start coming!]