Chapter 62
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 62
Chapter Title: Spanish Super Cup - 3
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Real Madrid, having snatched an early lead in the first half, seized the momentum and made it their own.
Atlético Madrid, trapped in their own half...
Whoooosh!
Thwack!
Hit.
Whoooosh!
Clang!
Hit again.
Whoooosh!
Thud!
"Nice save!"
Hit once more.
And so time slipped away relentlessly.
Before long, it was the 45th minute of the first half.
Atlético Madrid's defense, battered and frayed from constant shots, began to lose their grip.
"Luka!"
As I drew the eyes of Atlético Madrid's defenders and slipped through, space opened up on the flank for Iker Bravo. Luka Savić spotted it and passed to Iker Bravo, who shrugged off Atlético's fullback Wilfred Singo, then whipped a low, sharp cross toward me as I cut into the box.
Tap!
I calmly redirected it with a touch of my foot.
Goal seemed certain, so I bolted straight for the corner flag.
But...
Thud!
Atlético Madrid's keeper Van de Buurt, even in the awkward motion, stretched out an arm and just barely clawed the ball away.
Wow. This crazy bastard blocked that.
Atlético Madrid really is the keepers' kingdom.
...Anyway, how do I play this off naturally?
Whoooosh!
"Madrid, Madrid, Madrid! ¡Hala Madrid!"
"Y nada más! Y nada más! ¡Hala Madrid!"
"Vamos!! Jesus!"
As I sprinted to the corner flag, fans thinking I'd scored erupted in cheers. The ref, flustered, checked his Hawk-Eye goal-line tech.
I signaled the ball boy.
"Ball!"
Got the ball, placed it carefully at the corner arc, and glanced at the ref.
This should look natural enough, right...?
As I set up for the corner kick, boos rained down from behind.
"Jesus, you bastard! Thought you'd scored!"
I turned and waved cheerfully at the heckling uncle.
Uncle, but you were happy, right?
That's the same as a goal.
[Jesus Joo is setting up for the corner kick.]
Jesus bro so shameless lololol
For real lol didn't change expression at all, straight into corner kick
[Ugh... Yes. Jesus Joo sets up the corner... kick. Joo's shot grazes the keeper Van de Buurt's gloves and goes out over the line.]
[Jesus Joo, crosses it up. Sergio Pepe headers it! Oh! It veers just wide of the post.]
[Real Madrid dominating last season's La Liga champs. Still, stay cautious. Soccer's a game of momentum— one counter from Atlético could flip it all.]
[The ref blows for halftime right as the keeper goalkicks. Spanish Super Cup final, Derbi Madrileño: Real Madrid vs. Atlético Madrid. Real leads 1-0 at the break. Back for the second half on Sports TV Now.]
Right from the second-half kickoff, Atlético Madrid's players came out like they'd eaten something weird in the locker room, foaming at the mouth and charging.
"Puta-!"
Under Atlético's fierce press, Luis García turned the ball over. They snatched it and Émile Zola blew past Sergio Pepe for a shot.
Bang!
Thankfully, Zola's shot shaved just wide.
Ter Stegen unleashed a torrent of curses at Luis García and Sergio Pepe.
"Scheiße, you pig bastards! Run! Why the fuck aren't you running!?"
I nodded at Ter Stegen's words. Lazy asses who won't run are the problem.
Our eyes met.
"Du schwein! Why the hell are you nodding!? Run, you idiot!"
I shook my head at Ter Stegen.
Why should I run?
I don't have to.
Why?
"I'm a striker."
Just score. What more do you want?
.
.
.
Full time.
Real Madrid 2 : 0 Atlético Madrid
Goals: Iker Bravo (20'), Jesus Joo (47')
Title: If Aaron Ramsey has "I'm a midfielder,"
Jesus bro has "I'm a striker."
Everyone knows this guy barely runs on the pitch.
Real important games, like last season's CL final.
Or when it's a team that pisses him off—he foams at the mouth and runs.
Otherwise, like 5km activity max.
How little does he run?
(Jesus Joo standing around blankly, watching the attack unfold.gif)
Fuck. Even after we conceded right after this.
(Jesus bro picking his nose.)
This motherfucker feels zero guilt.
Zero interest, zero self-reflection.
Just peak mental masturbation in his head like Aaron Ramsey's "I'm a midfielder."
'I'm a striker.'
Pure asshole.
But can't bench him.
15 starts: 30 goals, 11 assists, 1 own-goal.
...Just, G.O.A.T
Stay at Real Madrid forever.
No need for defense.
I was the asshole for expecting that.
lolololol wtf lololol so mad then calms down seeing stats
No way;;; didn't know he bagged that many...
Same lol empathized with Stegen yelling, was cursing Jesus, now cursing Stegen after seeing stats lol
Expect defense on top of that? Stegen's shameless lol
Lmao even if Jesus evades taxes, Madrid fans would say the gov took too much lol
Champions League and UEFA Super Cup trophies in hand, I added the Spanish Super Cup to the collection with this final win.
During the match, adrenaline blinded me, but afterward...
"Hmm... Did I really need to run that hard?"
Game over, it was just an exhibition Super Cup—did I overdo it? Sudden regret hit.
Just another line on the resume. Back in Madrid with the trophy, fans at Barajas Airport were chanting my name from the start.
"Jesus! Our beacon of justice!"
"A man worlds apart from that vile tax-dodging Barcelona captain!"
Their cheers tipped me off: Spain's tax authority had launched a massive probe into soccer stars.
Earlier than in other timelines. Panicking inside, I kept cool on the outside, waving to the Madridistas.
"¡Hala! Jesus! ¡Hala! Jesus!"
As I waved to fans, some teammates chatting with their agents went pale and bolted from the airport.
Expected the manager to blow up over players vanishing without report, but...
"Booooo! Hypocrite Valverde!"
Valverde himself looked ghostly pale, hightailing it out.
...You too?
[Madridistas: 'Honest taxpayer Jesus Joo is the man for Real Madrid captain.']
[Madridistas hit the streets: 'Valverde OUT! No tax cheats in Madrid!']
A tax evasion scandal rocked La Liga. Spain's tax authority stripped bare countless current and former stars and coaches. Prosecutors indicted them all without mercy. Club atmospheres crumbled by the day.
"..."
Chilly winds howled at Valdebebas.
Stifling. No chatter on the training pitch.
"Fuck... When's training over?"
Manager or captain should've rallied the vibe, but
"Puta..."
"..."
They were tax cheats too, mentally fried.
Hated stepping up, but no choice. Time for this 200-year soccer ghost to lead.
"Hey! Everyone gather up!"
Gathered the team.
Then speech time.
"Puta! Listen up! Everyone's fucked except me. But that's when we cover for each other, understand, and push through! Crying when it's tough? Third-rate! Enduring? Second-rate! We're first-rate Real Madrid stars! So laugh bigger when it's tough! Come on, laugh with me! Hahahaha!"
I laughed loud. Some guys snickered. I hammed it up more.
"Fuck the Spanish tax assholes! Hahaha!"
"...Heh, yeah! Fuck, can't a guy dodge some tax?! Is dodging wrong?!"
"...Dodging is wrong, idiot."
"Haha... Fine, plead guilty and pay the fine!"
Windy Valdebebas warmed with laughter.
Training ended amid chuckles.
Next day,
Article dropped.
[Real Madrid smiles through tax evasion scandal. Insiders say they mocked tax and judicial authorities.]
Wait...? Fuck, that's not it!