Chapter 38
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: Preseason (2)
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Seoul World Cup Stadium.
Halftime +50 minutes
Suwon Osung Bluewings 2 : 4 Real Madrid
Suwon Osung Bluewings2 : 4Real Madrid
"Waaaaah!"
As Jesus Joo starts warming up outside the touchline, the fans packed into Seoul World Cup Stadium erupt in cheers.
Yes, it's a relief he didn't no-show. Jesus Joo responds to the roaring fans with applause. Can't wait to see what he brings to the pitch today.
Jesus Joo will be stepping into the shoes of Pedro Rodríguez, whose retirement ceremony is set for August in Madrid.
"Pedro! Rodríguez! Pedro! Rodríguez!"
Oh, a banner in the stands celebrating Pedro Rodríguez's retirement. It's in Spanish, so apologies if I can't read it.
Hmm. Looks like it says, "Real Madrid's eternal gunman, we're happy you were here."
Commentator Jang Hyun-ji, do you read Spanish?
What? Just a hunch.
"Hunch" my ass lololol
You minored in Spanish just to watch local soccer broadcasts lmao
Jesus Joo heads over to Roberto Fabianski and gets a rundown of the manager's tactics from the coach. Excited to see if Valverde can make Jesus Joo and Roberto Fabianski coexist successfully.
Antony intercepts Kim Baek's pass and feeds it straight to Luis García. Luis dances past the pressure with effortless dribbling. Real Madrid's counter springs to life in an instant! The atmosphere in the stadium has completely shifted the moment Jesus Joo steps on.
Luis García drags two defenders before slipping the ball into space for Luka Savić, who connects it perfectly to the onrushing Jesus Joo.
Jesus Joo takes the pass, shrugs off Jo Woo-jin with ease, and lofts a perfect ball toward Roberto Fabianski!!
Roberto Fabianski!!! He takes Jesus Joo's pinpoint pass and smashes it first-time!!
GOOOOOOAL!! Roberto Fabianski's volley after joining Real Madrid this season rips the net! What a strike! Unstoppable trajectory—the keeper had no chance!
Magical pass, magical finish. They haven't even trained together much, yet the Roberto Fabianski-Jesus Joo duo is already clicking like magic.
Damn, Roberto Fabianski is killing it, insane.
Real Madrid next season is gonna be even crazier.
Where tf did Roberto Fabianski come from?
No way that's his pose!!
Crazy lolol no way?
"Siuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
Uh... Fabianski celebrates his goal by sprinting toward the Korean fans and busting out Ronaldo's "Siuuu" celebration.
Lololololol that's Jesus Joo.
Aren't those the kids in the stands who were yelling at Jesus bro if he doesn't jump he's got Ronaldo personality? Lmao
They did it other places too but that section was extra lol
"Heuheuhuhuh."
Jesus Joo flashes a massive grin and applauds Fabianski. Looks like he's the mastermind behind this.
Yes, Jesus Joo looks thrilled. First time hearing that joyful laugh from him—it's pretty unique.
Heuheuhuhuh!
They replay Jesus Joo's oddly infuriating laugh for some reason.
Wtf is Jesus bro's laugh?
It's so annoying lolol
First time seeing someone laugh like that lol
Ah, so that's why Charlie Stone got pissed and body-slammed him for laughing like that.
Ooh... makes sense!
"Waaaaah! Fabianski! Jesus Joo!"
The Siuuu brought a moment of stunned silence to Seoul World Cup Stadium, but thankfully the fans by the corner flag take it as a joke.
With all of Jesus Joo's antics, this is just a minor hiccup.
Seoul World Cup Stadium.
Halftime +75 minutes
Suwon Osung Bluewings 2 : 5 Real Madrid
Suwon Osung Bluewings2 : 5Real Madrid
No matter how I think about it, Korea's summer weather is insane.
Is this even survivable?
"Jesus!"
Luka Savić passed to me, but with the brutal heat sapping my will to run, I just poked it through to Fabianski from right where I stood.
God, it's hot. Hope this match ends soon.
Bam-!
"Vamos!!"
I watched Robi casually score and head to the corner flag for his celebration with the crowd.
Then I quietly made my way to the Suwon Osung Bluewings bench and sat down.
"Huh? Jesus Joo?"
The Bluewings players looked flustered at the sight of me.
"Mind if I sit for a bit?"
I asked politely.
"Uh? Sure! Go ahead!"
And just like that, I plopped down on Suwon Osung's bench.
Game's going fine without me anyway.
Gonna rest a little longer before heading back in.
The first to notice Jesus Joo had vanished from the pitch was the commentator.
Am I seeing things? Why are there only nine white jerseys out there?
Wtf? Went to the bathroom and Real Madrid got a red card?
Nah;; why are Real playing with 10?
Ah, maybe he dashed to the bathroom? Can't spot Jesus Joo. And Suwon Osung makes a sub—number 18, Go Bong-bap? Unique name. He's at the touchline... Wait, he just walks on?
Isn't that Jesus Joo?
Psycho lolololol
The broadcast camera finally caught on and zoomed in on the number 18 player's face.
Is Go Bong-bap Jesus Joo's twin? He looks identical.
Yes, Suwon Osung's Go Bong-bap. Right after subbing on, he picks off Luis García's pass and tears through Madrid's defense! Real Madrid is rattled! Go Bong-bap's dazzling dribbles leave them helpless!
Sergio Pepe looks baffled by Go Bong-bap's tricks! Incredible! Go Bong-bap toys with Real Madrid's Sergio Pepe perfectly!
Lolololol now the commentator's high too
Pepe's face lololol
His face is like "wtf is this guy?" lol
Jesus Joo—no, Go Bong-bap breezes past Sergio Pepe! He fakes a shot on Vladimir Rajović and bursts through! And a screamer toward Ter Stegen's goal!! GOOOOOOAL! Go Bong-bap dazzles with individual brilliance to score against Real Madrid!
"Waaaaah!"
The Seoul World Cup crowd roars like Jesus Joo himself scored!
Real Madrid6 : 6Suwon Osung Bluewings
The hyped preseason feast: Real Madrid vs. Suwon Osung Bluewings
Jesus Joo post-match interview: "Suwon Osung Bluewings put on a great show. Especially Go Bong-bap's performance. Handsome guys really do play soccer well."
Jesus Joo calling himself handsome? Personality goat?
But he is handsome, can't argue;;
Crazy bastard had to take everything!
Man of the Match Go Bong-bap interview: "Honored to make my debut here. First time meeting Jesus Joo—he's handsome and has great personality. Handsome guys must have great personality too. I'll take him as my role model going forward."
Bro you're scary now stop;;
Bro got split personality or what.
Suwon Osung #18 is really named Go Bong-bap?
Nah, #18 is Jeong Jin-su
Then wtf is Go Bong-bap? Koreans named him that cuz "rice power" lol.
Jesus bro acting like our grandpa now lol.
Real Madrid squad at the airport shouts, "I love you! Entertainment Weekly on Relay!"
Wtf is this ancient show? Jesus bro faking his age?
Haven't heard that in forever lolol
I scrolled through the community ablaze with Jesus Joo age-faking theories, lost in memories of the past.
Was it around 150 years old? By then, I'd consumed most media, so I started digging up ancient relics.
Anyway, I tossed a new bait into the age controversy inferno.
Just click it
Lololololol
Silent downvotes rising lol
Bro just be Little Ronaldo. It suits you sneaky well lol
My post ignited a Little Ronaldo yes/no war. I quietly closed the community tab.
Soon after, we arrived in Japan.
Time to phone it in for one match.
"Jejuusssang sugeeee!!!"
And just like that, the Asia tour wrapped up.
Next up...
We took part in the UEFA Super Cup at Porto's home, Estádio do Dragão.
Real Madrid1 : 0Leverkusen
Real Madrid squeaks by Leverkusen at Estádio do Dragão
Jesus's silence: Start of the sophomore slump?
Jesus's play starting to get figured out?
Why didn't Jesus score?
No fire from Jesus at all.
Wow. One goalless game and it's total meltdown.
This is the life of a soccer star, huh.