Chapter 30
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: La Decimoquinta -4
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"Ankki motti!!!"
The bizarre sound that came out of my mouth made the nearby Madrid fans on the sidelines look flustered.
I turned to the camera and quickly corrected myself.
"Vamos!!!"
Hope the camera didn't catch that.
Match End.
Villarreal 0: 1 Real Madrid
Goal: Jesus (86')
Substitution: Pedro Rodríguez (75' OUT) : Jesus (75' IN)
[Spanish local reporters asking Jesus Joo what "Ankki motti" means.]
[Jesus Joo refusing to answer and exiting the mixed zone.]
[Japanese reporters expressing displeasure at Jesus Joo's "Ankki motti," calling it 'an improper expression.']
(Ankki Motti throwing an uppercut while yelling ~Ankki motti)
What the hell dude lol
Lmaoooo
I couldn't believe my own ears lol
Still cracks me up, insane dude lol
What the hell was he thinking saying that?
Jesus Joo you madman.
Lmaoooo
Tell them it's Japanese for Vamos lol
Spot on lol, it's something you say when hyped up lol
Insane dudes lol
Whether the Japanese reporters threw a fit or not.
Whether I was getting roasted on the forums or not.
I diligently got started on what I had to do.
"Jesus! Look this way please!"
It was a Puma ad shoot.
Why Puma and not Adidas?
While Doo-sik hyung was negotiating with Adidas, Puma saw my performances and star power, jumped in with an insane sponsorship amount, and basically yelled "Shut up and take my money!"
46 million pounds a year. About 74 billion won in Korean currency—an enormous sum. I shouted "Hala Puma!" and signed the contract on the spot.
Whatever. I'm not some rookie who blames his boots.
If you're whining that new boots make you play worse, it's time to retire.
Champions League Quarterfinal 2nd Leg.
Real Madrid : Liverpool
Pre-Match Interviews.
[Liverpool Klopp: 'Real Madrid is a great team. Their spear is sharp. But Liverpool at Anfield is different.']
[On the absence of Charlie Stone due to accumulated yellows: 'He's a great player and a great leader. It's a shame he can't play, but we're thoroughly prepared and confident of victory.']
[Charlie Stone: 'The bad rule blocking man-to-man showdowns needs to go.']
[Charlie Stone, scolded by Klopp: 'Sad I won't face off against Jesus. He's the ultimate man. Can't believe a guy like that is in the saints' league La Liga.']
[Charlie Stone, scolded by the club: 'I sincerely apologize to La Liga fans hurt by my reckless remarks.']
[Real Madrid Valverde: 'Facing Liverpool at Anfield is tough. But we have Jesus to turn the impossible into possible.']
[On Charlie Stone's comments: 'Jesus knows who Charlie Stone is, so he doesn't care. If you're curious about Jesus's character assessment, ask him yourself.']
[On Jesus's inappropriate remark: 'I don't understand why it's inappropriate. Isn't it just what he yelled in excitement after scoring? It might be misused in Japan, but I know it's positive in Korea. Does his statement as a Korean warrant more meaning?']
[Valverde adds to Korean reporters: 'Jesus is Korean. I don't get why there are more Japanese and American reporters here than Korean ones. Is Jesus not popular in Korea?']
[Jesus: 'Charlie Stone's character? He's just crazy. That's all you need to know.']
[Jesus on his popularity in Korea: 'I think I used to be popular, but not sure now. I'll find out when I go back home on this break.']
[On record-breaking boot sponsorship: 'German company, they know soccer. Puma will pop champagne watching this Champions League quarterfinal 2nd leg.']
That day after pre-match interviews, I got a personal message from Charlie Stone, whose number I'd exchanged after the last game.
Champions League Quarterfinal 2nd Leg
Liverpool 0 : 0 Real Madrid
55th minute of the second half.
I sent Luis García's brilliant pass straight into the sky, raised both hands toward him as he spewed curses, and shouted.
"Puta Madre! Gilipolla! Hostia!"
"It's the boots! Totally not on purpose!"
Not my fault. Puma's fault. What? Blaming boots means retire?
Yeah. I retired from that level ages ago.
I gave Luis a thumbs up to calm him down somehow.
"Good pass!"
"Puta!"
I compliment him and he curses? Typical Barca personality.
Without General Charlie, the game's easy. Luka and Luis, smothered by Liverpool mids last game, were alive again.
And shortly after I skyed that chance.
Another good opportunity arose.
Vladi tackled the opponent's forward, Sergio Pepe quickly cleared it to Luka.
Luka Savić shook off pressure and passed to me. This time, I calmly slotted it low into the corner for a goal.
I spun both hands like a helicopter and headed to where the Real Madrid away fans were.
The ecstatic Real Madrid fans shouted at my first goal.
"Ankki motti!!!!!"
Fuck. Who taught Real Madrid fans that meme? Oh, me. I awkwardly roared back at their cheers.
"V...Vamos!!"
As soon as the goal went in, Luis García sprinted after me and grabbed my nape.
"Puta! Jesus you bastard, why rocket my pass and score off Luka's?!"
Right?
Looking now, maybe not the boots—your pass?
"Maybe your pass was the problem?"
Luis took it seriously, face turning grave.
No, it was a joke—don't take it that seriously or I look like the asshole.
Klopp stared blankly at the away bench. He saw Jesus showing off his boots to the Madrid fans in celebration.
"Puma's gonna love that."
The veteran manager, who'd been pondering retirement, looked at the one who'd given him answers.
"Puma! Boots are Puma! Puma!"
Watching the terribly awkward dance, the manager whispered.
"Plays soccer fantastically but dances like shit. Is the bad boy gimmick?"
'Come to think of it, no controversies outside training and pitch.'
Maybe a great player?
Klopp reconsidered 10 minutes later when Jesus, completing a hat-trick off Luis García's pass, handed him Puma boots.
"German-made Puma! Boots are Puma!"
'Madman.'
"Adidas is German too."
"Puma! German-made Puma! Boots are Puma!"
"Adidas! German-made Adidas! Boots are Adidas!"
The German ref chuckled at their exchange.
"Puma and Adidas both made overseas. Where do Germans come in?"
Match End
Champions League Quarterfinal 2nd Leg.
Liverpool 2 : 3 Real Madrid
Goals: Roberto Costa (86', 90') : Jesus (58', 75', 85')
Yellow: Jesus (77')
[Jesus gifts his boots to ref Mark Forster—why the chuckle?]
[Ref Mark Forster: 'Said he scored hat-trick thanks to German-made boots. Note: They were Made in Indonesia.']
[Liverpool Jürgen Klopp: 'Adidas is also a fine German-made product.']
[Ref Mark Forster: 'Adidas also made in Vietnam. Not by Germans directly.']
[Real Madrid manager Valverde: 'Why does no one ask me anything?']
[Liverpool Jürgen Klopp announces retirement: 'Guess it's time. Couldn't figure out how to stop Jesus.']
With Real Madrid winning the Champions League quarterfinal 2nd leg against Liverpool, Jürgen Klopp declared his retirement.
After his 2024 Liverpool contract ended, Klopp took a break. Back then, he said he'd return if he missed soccer, retire if not—fans prayed he wouldn't lose passion. A year later, he returned, leading Liverpool to European champions.
Over the next 14 years, Jürgen Klopp lifted countless trophies: 2 Champions Leagues, 4 league titles, League Cups, FA Cups. At a presser, he joked "Statue-worthy now," turning it into laughter.
Klopp formally notified the club today.
Nooo God Klopp
Ah shit. Liverpool going Man U ver2.
Sigh. Dark ages for at least 10 years.
[Klopp names Tobias Schweinsteiger successor: 'He'll take Liverpool to greater heights.']
Heard about Jürgen Klopp's retirement.
He was a great manager and a legendary figure who changed soccer history.
Great as a human too. Congrats on retirement.
Anyway, reason I'm posting on SNS after so long:
Wondering when Madrid plans to build my statue.