Chapter 14
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 14
Chapter Title: vs Granada (2)
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The elderly Madridista hadn't been pleased with Jesus Joo's transfer to Madrid.
"There is no player greater than the team."
He'd repeated those words to his kids endlessly, and even if the target was Barcelona with their dirty, stinking asses, he couldn't stomach Jesus Joo showing such blatant disrespect for the team.
"Why are they cheering for that guy?"
The cheers from his kids and the young Madridistas for Jesus Joo were utterly baffling to the old Madridista.
But when he saw Jesus Joo slot home the opener against Granada, he took back his words.
"Jesus! I'm buying your jersey right now! And that number on the back? It has to be permanently retired!"
"Oh! Dad, then we'd have one less player to cheer for?"
"That's not my problem! Make that number permanent right now!"
"…"
"What are you all standing around for? Let's sing his chant right now!
Jesus! Jesus! The lost El ángel del Madrid!
He returned home and prophesied!
Kicking Barcelona's stinking asses
And bringing victory to our Madrid!"
After I scored the opener, I spotted a grandpa belting out my chant at the top of his lungs.
He was so passionate, I worried he'd keel over from high blood pressure.
Even in the middle of the match, I headed toward the stands to calm him down. Far off, I could see Real Madrid's bald-headed manager Valverde clutching his scalp, but human life comes first. Soccer can wait.
"Hey, grandpa."
"Jesus! Jesus! Huh? Jesus! What are you doing here instead of playing?"
"Grandpa, you looked like you might drop from blood pressure, so I came over. Calm down."
"Oh! Jesus, you're as great a person as you are a player. Don't worry about me—go score some more goals!"
"That's easy enough. For now, follow my lead: In... in... out!"
"Hmm... In... in... out!"
"Good, that's better. Just relax and watch. With me out there today, we've got this win in the bag."
"Alright, got it."
Once the grandpa fan seemed somewhat settled, I jogged back to the front line.
I was genuinely concerned for his health. I should score exactly one more goal.
"Absolutely not because I hate running."
Right. Score it, then beg the manager to sub me off.
[Jesus Joo bolts forward toward the through ball from Luka Savić!]
[Takes possession in a flash! A simple upper-body feint leaves Granada defender Stefan in the dust! Shoots! No—dribbles once more and shoots! No—again! No! He's toying with him! Jesus Joo is humiliating the Granada keeper!]
[Yes, grinning ear-to-ear at the flailing keeper—he's the picture of mischief.]
[Mischievous Jesus Joo! Sidesteps the exhausted, flapping keeper and slots it leisurely into the empty net. That's his ninth league goal in just four matches.]
[What a player, Jesus Joo.]
[Yes, amazing in every sense. At least his celebration heads to the Madrid bench—he grabs the manager's head and shakes it.]
[I was terrified he'd head to the Granada bench and shake their manager's head too.]
[Haha, doesn't sound like a joke at all.]
[Right? Haha.]
[80th minute of the second half—Jesus Joo is subbed off.]
[Jesus Joo bagged a multi-goal haul in the first half alone, putting his scoring prowess on full display.]
Jesus Joo crazy bastard lol saw him refusing to leave the shade in the second half?
Fr lol even when Madrid tried countering, no striker lol
[The Real Madrid away fans sing Jesus Joo's chant as he heads off.]
Damn, they're singing a chant for him?
Multi-goal means he did his job.
Kulés were bitching about it tho
They lost their roots.
But Jesus Joo defends well too.
Tackles so clean. Just swipes the ball.
[Jesus Joo already has two chants, and it looks like a third one's been born today.]
What does it mean?
No matter how lazy you get, as long as you score, we love you—something like that.
Jesus! We love you even if you don't run!
Because you've already scored by then!
The name that brings us victory! Jesus!
I soaked in the Madridistas' chant as I was subbed off.
"Makes me think of Cassano all of a sudden."
Was the reason he transferred to Sampdoria so he could slack off in matches?
What a mindset on that soccer player.
Spot on. Why grind your teeth when the paycheck's the same? Just do enough for your wages.
"Good work."
"Thanks. Take it easy out there, Captain."
Pedro Martínez, world-class striker who'd announced his retirement from Real Madrid at season's end, finished the high-five and trotted onto the pitch.
His name sounds like he'd crush baseball, but here he is playing soccer. Whatever. No point busting a gut and ending up sick like him in old age—body wrecked.
I exchanged light high-fives with the bench crew and took my seat. The manager approached before I knew it.
"Jesus."
"Yes, Manager?"
"Do you have a problem with me?"
"...No, not at all?"
"Then why didn't you follow my instructions?"
"What instructions?"
"I clearly told you to get a hat-trick."
"…"
What? He was serious?
Psycho.
"Hmm. Next time, four goals it is."
"No! Five goals!"
"Huh? Why?"
"You got two this time, right?"
"Yes."
"Add three more!"
What the hell kind of math is that?
"...Wow, impressive. Does this method have a name?"
"I call it the Valverde Calculation."
I was speechless.
Real Madrid manager Valverde let out a sigh of relief at Jesus Joo's expression.
'Looks like the mad genius approach works best on rascals.'
Thirty years as a manager. He'd encountered all sorts of soccer egos—plenty with egos too big for their boots.
But Jesus Joo's was in a league of its own. Hard to believe a kid with that ego was only eighteen.
'Doesn't matter. In front of me, he's just a pup.'
Valverde smirked in satisfaction, convinced he had Jesus Joo under total control, and ended the chat.
The moment Valverde walked away, Jesus Joo thought:
'Hat-trick means early checkout, right?'
[Real Madrid crush FC Granada 3-0. South Korea's Jesus Joo at the heart of it.]
[Jesus Joo multi-goal in Real Madrid kit. Becomes key player in one match!]
[Nuñez: "Jesus Joo is already a symbol of Real Madrid."]
[Valverde: "He's perfect. Except for the laziness—I'll fix that myself."]
[World-class striker Pedro Martínez raves about Jesus Joo: "He's already surpassed my level as a forward."]
[Jesus Joo on Valverde's interview: "Hmm, wonder if that's even possible."]
Jesus Joo crazy bastard lol M.O.M interview is gold
"Granada fans are so kind. They threw me a cola mid-match in case I got thirsty."
"Granada's mountains have the prettiest sunsets."
real troll.
Once I decided to just enjoy life, the games started flowing smoother somehow.
My agent bro Doo-sik hyung was worried about my antics at first. But when the ads and sponsorships poured in because of them...
"Hey! Do something even more outrageous! You've been too tame lately!"
Money had gone to his head.
"What more from here? Set off fireworks at home?"
"Not that crazy shit!"
"Then what?"
"...How about drinking a cola mid-match? We just got a cola ad deal."
I reflexively wanted to roast his dumb idea, but those dollar signs in his eyes made me ask about the pay.
"What kinda nonsense is that... how much?"
"This much."
"...Wanna give it a shot? Might negotiate better terms."
"Probably."
"...Next match. Nail the ad contract."
"Trust your hyung."
Wild, though. More popular now than back in my past life when I won eight Ballons d'Or and earned the nickname "Soccer God" stuck to Messi. Lived over 200 years, and the world still baffles me.
Meanwhile, Luis García, fresh off Barcelona's home game, publicly blasted his striker for wasting his passes.
[Luis García: "Wish Jesus Joo was there instead of that shitty no-goal striker."]
[Luis García: "I want to go to Real Madrid too."]
[Luis García unhappy at Barcelona, wants to join Jesus Joo's Real Madrid.]
[Jesus Joo: "Luis García? Great player. If he comes to Real, we'll level up."]
[Real Madrid approaches Luis García.]
[Barcelona: "We'll never let Luis García go. Want out? Pay the release clause and become a free agent."]
[Luis García's buyout: 200 billion won. Without negotiation, he pays ~300 billion to terminate.]
[Luis García: "Fuck that, I'll pay it somehow and get out."]
[Real Madrid's Nuñez to Luis García: "We'll cover it. Don't worry."]
[PSG, Man City, Newcastle approach after Luis García's comments.]
[Barcelona fans finally rise. Laporta's car goes up in flames.]