Chapter 1

Jesus Joo is a Genuine Madman (Proof)

Recently, this crazy bastard pulled off yet another stunt, so I'm posting this in celebration.

*This is my personal Top 5, so if you agree, smash that upvote.

And I'll write in casual style for my own convenience.

First: The little kid inside me, Barcelona ver.

"My heart belongs to Barcelona."

Says that, then transfers to Real Madrid in the winter window.

Then at Real Madrid, he says:

"That heart whispered for me to come to Real."

Real crazy bastard, right? But that's not the end of it.

Less than a month after the transfer, El Clásico kicks off at Barcelona's home stadium, Camp Nou.

He scores there and pulls off Messi's old jersey swap ceremony right in front of the Barcelona stands.

The Barca fans' vibe was insane at that point.

Sergio Pepe, the guy who usually pounds Barca players and mocks them in interviews like "Barca kids can only whine," even had to hold Jesus Joo back.

(Meme: Sergio Pepe with a horrified look, dragging Jesus Joo away.)

Meanwhile, Jesus Joo's smirking face at the furious Barca fans is gold.

Does this dude have two lives or what?

Second: The Jesus Joo community incident.

This was super early on, so some folks might not remember.

During the North/Central ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠America World Cup qualifiers,

Some guy posted in the community claiming he was a national team player.

(It was dawn in Washington back then? Dude didn't sleep and was forum-posting, total psycho?)

The soccer forum crashers were demanding proof, so

He said he'd score the next day and do a ceremony to verify—just tell him what one.

Everyone joked "do the Cassano ceremony," and boom,

He grabs the coach's head and shakes it like Cassano.

(Meme: Dead serious Huh Sung-tae coach.)

Third.

Said he'd imitate his idol Johan Cruyff, so he smokes a cigarette at halftime and comes out running for ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the second half.

(Meme: Jesus Joo collapsed in the center circle, wheezing "this is tough" after smoking.)

Then drops a hat-trick in that game.

For real, you can't knock his skills.

Fourth.

Dating the national little sister.

Honestly, deserves the death penalty for this alone.

Fifth.

This one? Justice served. Honestly think he did good.

(Image: Chinese player throwing a dirty tackle at Jesus Joo.)

Chinese national team player hits Jesus Joo with a studs-up tackle.

(Image: Jesus Joo smiling after eating the tackle.)

Jesus Joo awakens.

Parks 4 goals and 3 assists in the first half alone.

Then stoppage time in the first half, South Korea corner kick.

Ball just happens to head toward the Chinese player who tackled him.

Eyes rolled back, Jesus Joo launches a flying dropkick.

(Image: Jesus Joo dropkicking the Chinese player who tackled him. Look at his mouth—you can tell he's holding back a laugh.)

Upvote... but wtf is the fourth one lmao

Still can't hate on his skill tho. Soccer emperor, straight GOAT.

lmao this crazy bastard wrote GOA T

What even is that?

Orphan T lmao

The last one was legit legendary lol. Couldn't believe my eyes watching it.