Chapter 76: Where Did You Lose Your Mommy?
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 76: Where Did You Lose Your Mommy?
[Title: Sharing my experience seeing the Goddess Elf in person at Worlds]
(Fantastic back view walking in heels, etc.jpg)
(Sitting with a Birkin bag casually placed by her leg.jpg)
(Holding the mic with both hands as if praying, speaking to God.jpg)
(Anyway, just looking insanely pretty.jpg)
(Pretty regardless...jpg)
└ She’s not a baby... she’s a goddess...
└ She was a Goddess Elf from the start, but since she was always bundled up and only showed her face...
└ Look at Yeon Si-ho, the Heretic Inquisitor, or the Holy Maiden Sword Master. Have we ever actually seen her figure properly?
└ Even when she was spotted at the department store, she barely wore anything that showed her body line.
└ LOL, but seriously, what’s with that upper-body defense? She’s been hiding a figure like that this whole time?
└ Since she’s a minor, the agency seems really careful about her getting hurt by sexual harassment.
[Title: Goddess Elf Photo Collection]
(A long string of Lee Yu-jin photos, almost like spamming)
└ She looks insane in kill heels;; She looks at least 190cm tall;;
└ Maybe that’s why the Goddess Elf didn’t get too close to the players. It’d be a humiliation for them if they were caught in a two-shot.
└ Her consideration is also goddess-tier ㅠㅠㅠ
└ I thought she’d put the Birkin bag on her lap, but she just dropped it next to her;;
└ To the Goddess Elf, that’s probably just like a regular crossbody bag we wear.
└ Looking at the sapphire decorations and the design, it looks like a custom-made piece just for an elf. I wonder how much it costs.
└ Probably hundreds of thousands of dollars.
[Title: The Unshakable God]
(The steadfast gaze of God, unmoving even under the Goddess Elf’s public confession attack.jpg)
└ God is God. Because that is what God is.
└ Wow, he didn't even flinch after receiving a confession attack like that in front of the whole world. ㄷㄷㄷ
[Title: It would’ve been great if the Goddess Elf did an event game, what a shame]
(The back view of the Goddess Elf leaving with a satisfied smile after hearing God’s answer.jpg)
└ Then who would take Mid?
└ Obviously, the Goddess Elf should. Because she is Mid.
└ Honestly, for an event game, it’s only right that the Goddess Elf takes Mid.
└ No, no, there aren't even plans for an event game, so why are you guys rolling with this bait? Let me join in too, I’m good at rolling with it.
└ An event game... they’ll do it someday, right? If Ryan has any sense, he’ll definitely make it happen.
└ We live in a world where the Netscreen creator and Chris are having a death match to determine the King of the Skinheads. Anything is possible.
└ But what on earth are those two thinking, having a match in an open-roof Jamsil stadium in January when it’s freezing cold?
└ One of them definitely provoked the other like, "Are you cold? I’m hot."
*
USA, the Netscreen CEO’s mansion.
The wife scolded her husband, who had just come upstairs dripping with sweat after being coached by a professional.
“Why on earth did you decide to have the match in an outdoor stadium in the middle of a freezing January? What if it snows?”
At his wife’s concern, the Netscreen CEO wiped his sweat roughly with a towel and replied.
“I was going to suggest changing the venue because of the temperature, but...”
“But?”
“That bastard Chris provoked me, saying, ‘You’ve worn a wig your whole life, so I guess you can’t stand the cold?’ How could I back down after that?”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, I can’t deal with you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll show him exactly how resistant a skinhead is to the cold.”
If it weren't for the bloated ego competition between the two skinheads, this match wouldn't have happened in the first place.
*
Having successfully prevented God’s scheduled retirement, I left Gocheok Dome feeling a great sense of accomplishment.
It wasn't like this when I arrived, but by the time I was leaving, the security guards had formed a human wall for me.
“Unnie! You’re so pretty!”
“Noona! You’re really, really beautiful! I’m dying!”
Phones were being shoved in my face from all directions, making me dizzy, but I recalled Jang Ji-hye’s words and put on my most social smile.
I have to remember that fans are the grateful people who infinitely help me mine Envidium stocks for no cost... If I forget that, I’ll starve to death...
Requests for autographs poured in, but my brother sensibly asked for their understanding and moved us along.
It wouldn't be right to take up time signing autographs at someone else’s party. I came here as a fan and a spectator myself.
“We’re all fine with it, so just give us an autograph, please!”
“Ryan would actually love it too!”
The moment I stepped out of the Dome, I froze.
When did this many people gather?
The plaza outside the stadium was so packed with people there was no place to step. I felt bad for the safety personnel running around everywhere trying to control the crowd.
Aren't they cold? I’m fine wearing just a blouse in this weather since I don’t usually feel the cold, but...
I should disappear quickly.
By the way, how is my Cullinan supposed to get through this crowd?
*
The Lee Yu-jin Fan Cafe was boasting a heartwarming atmosphere for the first time in a while. This was because content for "stanning" was pouring in.
[Title: Collection of photos of the Goddess Elf taken at the Gocheok Dome photo zone]
[Title: Please take a look at these full-body shots of the beautiful Yu-jin]
[Title: Anyway, she’s insanely pretty (50 photos)]
[Title: I took a ton of photos of the Challenger of Challengers, please look at them just once...]
└ How long has it been since we’ve had a spring like this? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
└ Ah, warm spring has finally come to the stolen Rift.
└ Oh, Yu-jin, you look so pretty wearing feminine clothes ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
└ Oh, Yu-jin, please keep dressing like that from now on.
└ It would’ve been perfect if she wore a crop top instead of a blouse ㅠㅠㅠ
└ Dude, think about the weather;; It’s early winter right now;;
└ It’s basically autumn weather anyway because of global warming.
└ But that Birkin bag is so pretty.
└ 100% custom-made for Yu-jin. The only one in the world.
└ Where can I buy the jeans and blouse Yu-jin was wearing? It’s an emergency, please tell me ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
└ Those two pieces together cost over 15 million won, dude...
└ It’s completely Hermès.
*
“Freedom!”
As soon as the Cullinan started moving, I let out a cheer I’d been holding back. I handed the Birkin bag to Jang Ji-hye, who was sitting next to me, and stretched my arms and legs.
“Yu-jin, weren't you cold?”
“I’m not cold. I don’t feel the cold, but I do feel the heat.”
“But I’ve never seen you sweat in the summer.”
“I don’t usually sweat much.”
“Is it because you’re an elf that your constitution is different from humans?”
I hate myself for not even reacting to the elf attacks anymore...
Well, as long as it’s not 'Baby Elf.'
“Anyway, how does it feel to have evolved from a Baby Elf to a Goddess Elf?”
I almost choked.
Wh-what kind of double-damage critical hit was that?
“Geez! I almost choked on my own spit. Where do you even come up with such creative mental attacks?”
“What’s creative about it? It’s just a serving of plain facts. Or is 'simping' a better word for it?”
“...”
“Anyway, everyone in the fan cafe is reaching a consensus to ban 'Baby Elf' and change the title to 'Goddess Elf.'”
“Jang Ji-hye, please... You don’t have to tell me the fan cafe reactions.”
“The fans' simping is so cute. My stress just melts away after I join in. Why don't you try ego-searching too?”
“No thanks, I’m good.”
I’m really sleepy today.
Just as I closed my eyes to doze off.
“Oh, right. We got a scout for the U Puzzle Talk Show. Are you going to do it?”
“What’s that?”
“A talk show that invites influencers. There’s a quiz, and you talk about this and that... Wait, how do you not know this?”
“Is it a big deal if I don’t?”
I’m busy 24 hours a day playing LoL, watching LoL videos, and watching military videos. When would I have time to keep up with other programs?
“Anyway, what do you think? If you go on, they said the quiz will be mostly LoL-related.”
“Oh, that sounds fun.”
“The fans are so starved for content. I think it’d be perfect to go on right when the 'feed' we gave them today runs out and they start getting hungry again. Unless you want to solidify your mysterious image further, then it’s better not to go.”
“I can’t have the fans starving to death, because then I’ll starve too. I’ll do it. You handle the schedule.”
“Okay, I’ll report that to the company.”
When she mentions the company and reporting, it hits me again that Jang Ji-hye is my styling manager.
She’s getting a salary from the company in the form of a scholarship, so my mind is at ease, but I still want to take care of her a bit more personally...
I can give her anything except Envidium stocks.
The problem is she refuses to accept anything at all.
*
Choi Yu-riang, the head of Hermès Korea, was in a great mood due to the skyrocketing sales worldwide.
As expected, Ambassador Lee Yu-jin was a stroke of genius.
It felt good to think about how much their rival fashion cartel, LVMH, must be stomping their feet.
They didn't know Lee Yu-jin was a Hermès Ambassador, but they might be suspicious.
“Mr. Choe, the blouse and jeans that actress Lee Yu-jin wore at Worlds are all sold out. We’ve already received over 500,000 reservation requests from all over the world.”
There were this many people around the world willing to buy clothes that cost nearly 15 million won for the set.
Choi Yu-riang spoke firmly.
“If everyone could have it just because they wanted it, it wouldn't be Hermès. Limit the production.”
“But that blouse and those jeans aren't Haute Couture, they’re Prêt-à-porter (ready-to-wear).”
“...”
“Online orders have already piled up. we have to produce and sell these.”
Choi Yu-riang lightly clutched his head.
“Is that so? Is it unavoidable... Damn it, must I set aside the philosophy of Hermès once again for the sake of money?”
“Isn't the philosophy of Prêt-à-porter originally to sell as much as the customers want to buy?”
“I suppose so. But can our artisans handle all those orders?”
“It would take years and they still wouldn't be able to finish them all.”
“What can we do? The customers will just have to wait. Instead, take orders according to the estimated production for one year, and cancel the rest.”
“Understood. Also, we’re being flooded with requests from VVIPs who want to buy the exact same Birkin bag that actress Lee Yu-jin was carrying.”
On that point, Choi Yu-riang was firm.
“That is Haute Couture, made for only one person. Why are you even reporting that?”
“I explained that, but they’re all requesting that we make it as similar as possible within the realm of possibility.”
“No. Making it even slightly similar is out of the question. It goes against the philosophy of a Birkin bag for a VVIP.”
Regardless, the Hermès Korea branch was currently screaming with joy.
This was because they had become the country with the Hermès stores recording the highest sales in the world.
It was all thanks to the super-rich VVIPs who had settled down in Hannam-dong because of Lee Yu-jin.
*
Osan US Air Force Base.
After finishing their flight training schedule, two fighter jets landed on the runway one after another.
A young pilot officer looked warmly at a photo of Lee Yu-jin as Yeon Si-ho attached to the cockpit, then peeled it off and tucked it away carefully.
“I can’t leave my goddess all alone in the cockpit.”
There wasn't a single pilot who didn't have a photo of Lee Yu-jin in their cockpit. At least, no such heretic existed at this airbase.
Starting from the base’s top commander, the 51st Fighter Wing Commander, everyone was a devoted fan of Lee Yu-jin. His children were also fans.
The base was simply overflowing with Lee Yu-jin’s fandom. There were even US soldiers and officers who strongly refused transfer or reassignment orders.
“Hey, buddy. I got a new photo of the Goddess Elf. Want to see?”
“Goddess Elf? Not Baby Elf?”
“Heh, you’re behind on the news. Just look at it and you’ll see.”
The pilot’s eyes shook violently as he saw the full-body photo of Lee Yu-jin in high heels that his colleague showed him.
“Wh-what is this...? When did our Baby Elf grow into such a Goddess Elf?”
“She was a Goddess Elf all along; we were just mistaken in thinking she was a Baby Elf.”
“Th-this photo! Sell it all to me! I’ll buy everything, so bring it all!”
“As always, I’ll just take the printing cost plus a small fee for my trouble.”
“You’re too conscientious, that’s your problem. A content provider like you should be a bit more greedy.”
“Haha, being moderately greedy is the way to last long.”
A photo transaction took place on the spot. A satisfactory amount of money changed hands.
It was then.
A Boeing C-40 Clipper transport plane was attempting to land.
“A Clipper? What’s going on?”
“Is the 7th Air Force Commander visiting the base?”
“Wait, that’s not an Air Force plane. It’s Navy.”
[US NAVY]
The two Air Force officers frowned when they saw the clear Navy markings on the aircraft.
“What are the squids doing here?”
“They probably lost their carrier like idiots again and landed here crying. Isn't it obvious?”
The Clipper was a large transport plane incapable of landing on a carrier.
However, mocking the Navy was something the Air Force did as naturally as breathing.
As the two approached to tease the "crying child" about where they lost their mommy (the carrier), they flinched at the three-star rank clearly visible even from a distance.
“That’s the Commander of Naval Air Forces? What on earth is he doing at our base?”
“I have a really bad feeling about this.”
A Navy general who had absolutely no reason to be at this base had arrived.
Sensing that something extraordinary was about to happen, the two pilots immediately bolted.